Blog: Glimmers in the Fog by Kim Stiver

The Optical Illusion of Ownership

1/30/2019

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Ownership Illusion God Control Bowl of Keys

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Many people who come into our house notice that we have a large bowl full of keys on a bench by the front door. The amount and varied array of them looks kind of ridiculous at first glance. So most people laugh at the jumbled pile and ask with a wry smile, “Do you really know what each of them goes to?” They expect us to shrug our shoulders and confess that we don’t have any idea, so they usually look at us in surprise when we tell them that we actually do know. And, of course, we don’t just have one set of keys for most things. We have the extra valet keys for our cars, the spare house keys for occasional neighbor access, and a silly pile of luggage lock keys that probably needs to go. Regardless of their attached value, each one of those keys is a symbol of ownership ranging from the fairly unimportant and rarely used ones, like the small bike lock keys, to the most valuable things we possess, like our house, cars, and safe deposit box. In the world’s eyes, those keys mean that we own a lot of stuff. In God’s eyes, however, we don’t own a thing. Ownership of any kind in this life is only an optical illusion.

The word ownership is kind of like a chameleon. It can have a positive or negative connotation in just about any conversation. And that makes it especially hard to pin down when it comes to honoring God. Clearly, the Bible commands us to take ownership of our behavior and how we treat others. We are also supposed to work diligently, taking seriously our responsibility to honor God with the quality and excellence of what we do, whether it’s in our jobs, volunteering, or in ministry. But like so many other good character traits, our sense of ownership can become overblown if we’re not careful, fueling our pride and dragging us deep into religious legalism, worry, jealousy, or greed.

In the Bible’s vocabulary, the word ownership always refers to God as the landlord, the king, the master, or the vintner. While many believers understand that we belong to Christ and that everything we have is a blessing “on loan” from Him (1 Chronicles 29:11-12), it’s not uncommon for us to miss the deeper levels of what divine ownership really means. Because we are so visually driven, it’s easy to focus on what we physically have as gifts of God, such as our material possessions, health, careers, and even family members. But when we give Jesus the keys to our heart, He takes ownership lock, stock, and barrel… heart, mind, body, and soul. Most of us expect the heart and soul part, but we struggle more with the mind and body part.

As the landlord of our lives, Jesus also has ownership rights to every aspect of our mental and physical existence. While that fact can seem overwhelming, God’s intention for ownership is to bring us peace, joy, and hope, not restrictions, rules, or a rigorous sense of duty. Ownership for God isn’t just about having control, as we would think of it in human terms, but far more about loving provision, protection, and guidance.

This past week, God has been reminding me that He owns far more than my current existence, He also owns my future and everything that is to come. Therefore, anything I am working towards now — the projects I want to complete, any goals I’ve set, and the dreams I am chasing — those are all His to manage as well. Though I am called to work hard to achieve them, I do not have the ownership of — or even the responsibility for — the potential outcomes of them. In other words, if I am working on what God has asked me to do, then I am a servant following His direction. I am not the owner. God alone bears the burden of failure or success.

This is a radical nuance to God’s ownership with huge ramifications for anyone who leads, teaches, or manages anything — whether it be people, projects, or households. No matter what our tax filings indicate we own on this earth, God has the ultimate responsibility for growing and protecting what’s important. And all the planning, strategizing, contemplating, and preparation in the world won’t change the outcomes or produce success if it’s not His desire. So while He expects us to use our brains, talents, and skills to the fullest and with excellence (Colossians 3:23-24), He also asks us to do so with complete surrender and trust to His careful management. Proverbs 16:9 says, “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”

So how does this Biblical truth impact us in everyday life? Simply put, it means we must stop thinking like an owner… in everything. It means we should allow ourselves to rest, relax, and be still when we’re not supposed to be working or volunteering. Our minds can be at peace in the off hours because the Owner of all things is still at work. He’s minding the store when we’re not there. Practically speaking, if our thoughts are constantly embroiled in our responsibilities and to do lists, then we are not trusting God or obeying His command to rest. Psalm 127:2 says, “It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to His loved ones.”

This truth became especially real to me the other night. I was awake yet again around 2 a.m. with my mind whirring. Rather than being obviously worried about something, my mind was filled instead with all kinds of new ideas and new tasks related to a project. The problem didn’t seem to be the subject matter — it was the timing. So as I began praying for my mind to be still, God seemed to whisper to me, “Try asking Me why your mind is racing in the first place.” When I did, His answer surprised me. “You can’t sleep because you’re thinking like an owner. I am the Owner. Trust me with it all and sleep will come.” And it did.

As I was doing research for this post, I came across a fascinating article in Inc. magazine about a Christian-owned company in Colorado living out the principles of divine ownership. Bob Walker, the president of the company, said, “The first question that has to be settled is,'Who owns the business?’… Whatever He has given, He wants us to multiply.” The article then goes into great detail about the family’s faith in God to run their operations, including the startling decision to halt layoffs, risk further financial damage, and use staff downtime to give back to the community during one of their toughest years in business.

That’s real-world trust in the trenches and a shining example of what it really means to yield to the yoke of Christ in Matthew 11:28-30. Jesus said when we come to Him and let Him lead, we will find rest. Furthermore, according to Proverbs 3:24, Psalm 4:8, we can go to bed without fear and sleep soundly. But I think most of us view those pleasant-sounding verses as optional, rather than a requirement. We delude ourselves into believing that midnight hours spent thinking about our business, our ministries, our relationships, our parenting, etc., is productive. We cheat ourselves out of the abundant life Jesus promised us — and gave His own life for us to have — by convincing ourselves that excessive amounts of industriousness will honor God, ensure success, and prevent us from letting anyone down. But the Bible’s response to that is an indictment of lack. A lack of trust that God will take care of any details we miss or make up for any talents we don’t have. A lack of confidence that the plans of God are better than ours. A lack of humility that our worth and our level of success is only found in what God decides we should have. A lack of surrender to the life He wants us to have, versus the one we envision for ourselves.

When I arose the morning following my sleepless night, the Holy Spirit brought 2 Timothy 2:5 forward in my quiet time. “An athlete is not crowned unless he competes according to the rules.” Through that verse, it was clear God was telling me that the race He’s asked me to run has some rules, and they’re all based on trusting Him. When I allow God to be in control of my race, providing the gear I need, managing the conditions, and giving me the endurance, I am free to run the race without fear of failure. But if I insist on thinking like I’m the owner of my own race, I won’t even make it to the finish line.

Questions for Further Reflection

Read the parable of the talents in Matthew 25:14-28. As you think about the three servants in the passage, imagine yourself in each of their shoes. What evidence of worry and misplaced thinking do you see in the third servant’s words and actions? How do the first two honor the Master as the clear owner?
Christians are heirs with Christ. What is the difference between heirs and owners? What kind of inheritance will all believers receive according to 1 Peter 1:3-12?
Evaluate how much time you spend thinking about work in some way, whether it’s work you are compensated for, volunteering, or managing tasks around the house. Pray and ask God to reveal to you the ways in which you are not trusting him to compensate for your weaknesses or lacking. In what ways is He challenging you to take more time to relax with your friends and family, spend time with Him, or just get more sleep?

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Are Christians Supposed to Be Optimists?

1/23/2019

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This has been one of the hardest Januarys I can ever remember. That’s a surprising opening line for a message that’s supposed to be about optimism, isn’t it? With a beginning like that, you might expect me to launch into a list of reasons why the start of 2019 deserves that sad indictment, but instead, I will simply say that I cannot recall a period of time so intensely grief-laden for so many of the people I am privileged to call friends or family. And it doesn’t seem to be just my experience this month. A friend of mine recently attended three funerals in one weekend! Attending just one funeral in a month, whether it is in honor of your own loved one or that of a friend’s, is enough in itself to spark contemplation about the finite nature of our lives and launch us into a re-evaluation of what’s important.

As Christians, when we go through extended or unimaginably difficult times, we often wonder if it’s okay to show our weariness, vulnerability, and discouragement because we fear that our non-believing friends, family, and co-workers might see our melancholy and determine that the abundant hope of our faith has let us down. Even among other believers, we sometimes shy away from revealing our inner struggles with anger, depression, sadness, and disappointment — all because we don’t want any of them to think we’ve lost our hope or aren’t leaning into Jesus.

All of this contemplation has left me wondering… does God expect His followers to be optimists? All of the time? Some of the time? Is being a realist more realistic? And what about people who have a personality type that’s wired to be an outright pessimist? What should they do? As a community of believers, how do we encourage people to be authentic with each other even in times of great pain, doubt, or grief, without crossing the line into complaining, grumbling, and whining?

As I’ve been thinking about this, the concept of hope keeps coming to the forefront over and over. Last year, I had the privilege of hearing Cynthia Ruchti speak at a conference and I was riveted by the theme she uses for her life and her ministry: Hemmed in Hope. As she gave a bit of her testimony, I understood why that phrase has become her banner cry. No matter what hardship she has endured or will encounter in the future, everything that happens is within the boundary of Christ’s love and oversight. And for that reason, every moment of her life brims with hope. And from the little bit that I got to know her, I don’t think that means she wakes up everyday feeling cheery. But I’m willing to bet that she does wake up every day believing that no matter what occurs, God will whisper words of hope to her soul to not only get her through the day, but to help her reveal His hope to others.

But what does that kind of hope look like? How does it behave or emerge in the throws of everyday life? Clearly, hope is different than pessimism. But is it different than optimism or realism? Can hope even be compared to these, or are they apples and oranges? Rather than a lens or filter by which we view the world and the things that happen to us (or worry what will happen to us), I think hope is entirely something different. Hope is a companion. A partner. An enabler. Hope is the voice that never fails to tell us — as many times as we need to hear it — that no matter how grim the situation, we have a glorious destiny where every tear will be wiped away. The journey to our eternal destiny will present us with challenges, but our eternities will be perfect in every way. 1 Peter 1:3-4 says, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, He has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you.”

Even with the promise of a guaranteed reservation at the ultimate resort of all time, most of us, however, have a very hard time “feeling” the hope of heaven when we’re down in the pits of the daily grind. I think most people, even those who claim to have no faith at all, believe in some concept of heaven. But the thought of eventually being restored to perfection in the afterlife doesn't seem to bring much comfort to most people in the middle of an earthly trial, like losing a loved one, going through bankruptcy, or watching your adult child make horrible choices. Many people miss out on the other immediate benefit of hope simply because they don’t ready themselves to receive it. Hope is offered to us continually because the Spirit of Christ lives in us every day. But most of us go through our lives as if the companion of hope doesn’t exist… that is until we hit a major roadblock. Then suddenly we want to feel all that hope offers, like peace and comfort, but we have no idea how to access it because we’re out of practice or we never learned how in the first place. Walking with hope takes practice. We have to learn how to receive and utilize the promises of hope by spending time with the Giver of Hope on a daily basis. Jesus specifically says in Matthew 11:29 to “learn from me… and you will find rest for your souls.”

The hope of Christ isn’t a magic spell. It can’t be activated only when we need it. Hope is something we cultivate deep within us that rises higher and higher the longer we pursue God and yield our need for control to Him. Hope changes our desires and perspectives. Hope doesn’t change what we see, like the lens of optimism or pessimism, hope changes us to withstand the journey this side of heaven with enduring joy, peace, and contentment. So the answer to the question at the beginning of this post, is surprisingly no. People who are hope practitioners on a daily basis are probably much more likely to be perceived as optimists, but Christians aren’t “supposed” to be any particular way other than what God is making them to be.

Christians aren’t “supposed” to be worriers either, but I have an anxiety disorder. And occasionally that causes me to be a pessimist. But little by little, I’m experiencing the brain-changing miracle of hope. Change only happens if I believe it can. Belief only happens if I trust. Trust only happens if I surrender. Romans 15:13 says, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”As I practice the holy prescription that cures anxiety found in Philippians 4:4-9, God is transforming my mind according to Romans 12:2. And Philippians 1:6 in The Message version says, “There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears.” Now that’s a hope-filled promise we all can count on — optimists, realists, and pessimists alike — no matter what life brings us.

Questions for Further Reflection

What are the dangers of being an optimist, a realist, or a pessimist? Which filter do you seem to gravitate to the most? Does it change when you’re under stress or emotional strain? Search for “Bible verses about hope” online and find one that speaks to your greatest tendencies.
Read Psalm 71:14-16. What spiritual actions does the Psalmist take in order to help him to “hope continually”? Why are these so important in the life of a believer? Which one(s) is the Lord leading you to do more of today?

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Come to the Garden

1/16/2019

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Right now as I look out my window, a frozen landscape is greeting me and looking deceptively beautiful. Ice crystals are blanketing the evergreens and glistening in the sunlight, which is barely giving enough warmth to reach a double-digit temperature. And while there are hardy, winter-loving people who are probably frolicking in the snow under today’s clear blue skies, I’m enjoying the view without venturing away from the snuggly goodness of my roaring wood stove.

With the chilly, sparkling vista before me, it’s slightly difficult for me to imagine a lush green garden complete with just the perfect temperature and humidity for a peaceful stroll down a perfectly designed, wooded path lined with colorful flowers and serenaded by a majestic waterfall in the distance. If I dwell on the thought long enough, I might also be able to see a bench in the garden, waiting for me underneath an expansive shade tree and open to the widest view. Despite the extra strain on my imagination to concoct such a place in the middle of a Maine winter, I know the investment of time to get to the Garden in my mind is worth it. Worth every second… because I can leave all my distractions, fears, and worries far behind for a few precious minutes and focus on the most important thing in life. Most of all, it is worth it because of Who I’m meeting in the Garden, and because He and I have a standing appointment every morning with additional meetings scattered throughout the rest of the day.

I’ve written about heaven before, and while it’s a place we should contemplate often and draw comfort from, it’s not a place that we can access — or even fathom — during our time here on earth. On the other hand, the Garden is a place we can get to at any moment, and from any location. The literal Garden of Eden is long gone from earth, but I believe the existence of it and the fact that we were created for it, is emblazoned on our hearts. Our need for time in the Garden is interwoven into our souls. Somewhere deep inside of every human is a longing for the Garden — almost a kind of “knowing” that we don’t fully belong in our current existence, but rather that we should be dwelling in a deep, abiding fellowship with our Creator.

The problem is that most of us have either forgotten how to get to the Garden, are afraid of allowing ourselves to go there, or simply don’t make it a priority. We often choose instead to search for a counterfeit garden in our current surroundings, always wandering from valley to mountaintop and back again, only to find ourselves worn out, disappointed, and wondering why we cannot secure real peace, lasting happiness, or authentic contentment. We have yet to realize that only in the true Garden can we experience the wonder of being simultaneously on the mountaintop while walking through the valleys of life.

Humankind was created in the Garden and initially walked with God side by side in unbroken fellowship. We know this because Adam and Eve were clearly familiar with God’s arrival in the Garden in Genesis 3:8, and the previous chapters also make it clear that God had given them specific instructions and direction for daily living. But when they chose to trust in their own wisdom and defy God’s request, they could no longer exist in the presence of His pure perfection and holiness. Forevermore, sin would come between the human race and its Creator unless atonement was made. Humanity may have been escorted out of the Garden, but the longing for the Garden has never been removed from our hearts.

In addition to the Garden of Eden it’s not a coincidence that Scriptures repeatedly mention gardens — both as literal places of great significance and as spiritual metaphors. Many of the Old Testament prophets used gardens as analogies for God’s restoration of His people following their repentance (for example, Isaiah 58:11). Just before His crucifixion, Jesus sought His Father’s help in prayer in the garden of Gethsemane (John 18:1-2), and then He triumphed in victory over sin and death as He was resurrected in the garden of Golgotha (John 19:41). Finally, we will experience God’s forever garden — paradise — when He returns for us as prophesied in Revelation 2:7. Astoundingly, we will be given access to the tree of life, which was originally established in the Garden of Eden.

Over and over throughout the Bible, we are reminded that God created us for garden living, and through the sacrifice and the atonement of Jesus, we can accept His personal invitation that beckons us: “Come to the Garden, my beloved. Come.” When we spend time with God in prayer, studying and meditating on the Word, and practice being still before Him in adoration and submission, we enter into the Garden.

One of my favorite hymns captures the essence of this invitation to us, and it has an interesting backstory. The hymn’s writer, C. Austin Miles, was a gospel singer and music publisher by trade, but one of his greatest passions was photography and developing his own images. One day in March 1912, he was waiting on some of his images to develop in his basement darkroom, so he passed the time by reading the Gospel of John. When he came to chapter 20, he began to let himself vividly imagine what it must have been like to be with Mary when she came to the garden the morning of Jesus’ resurrection. As he imagined what his own words might be to the savior, he was overcome with such emotion that he later said his hands and arms were trembling as he gripped his Bible. His real words came easily after that, and right there, in a cold, dark basement with not even a window, he penned the lyric for In the Garden. Miles once said of the popular hymn, “This is not an experience limited to a happening almost 2,000 years ago. It is the daily companionship with the Lord that makes up the Christian’s life.”

The other truth that overwhelms me about the story behind this hymn is the incredible role that Miles’ imagination played as he read John 20. Jesus calls us to love God with all of our hearts, minds, and souls (Matthew 22:37). And to endeavor to love Him in that way, we must be vulnerable and open to using all of our faculties to encounter Him and get to know Him better. We cannot love someone if we don’t intimately know them. The invitation from Jesus goes way beyond envisioning yourself in the Garden, it beckons you to find yourself in Him. Everything about yourself — what you’re made of, your dreams, your identity, and your very life — all found in Jesus.

As I ponder the hymn and listen to my favorite rendition of it, the word’s of its writer echo in my heart and remind me that Jesus is waiting and whispering to me, “Come to the Garden, my beloved. Put that distraction down and spend your time more wisely with me. Don’t wrestle with that hard stuff by yourself over there… come here with me instead. The empty thrills you’re seeking can never compare to the depth of my love and the satisfaction of spending time with me.”

Perhaps the most amazing thing about the Garden of prayer is that the gate into it is open 24 hours a day. Sometimes we are only able to linger there in short intervals, perhaps in the middle of a hectic workday or when taking a quick breath during a difficult conversation. Other times, we may rest in His presence for hours, wishing that moments like these would never end. Regardless of the amount of time, He just wants us to keep coming back consistently so we grow to be completely dependent on Him as our primary source of strength, peace, hope, and joy.

God intends for every day of our lives to include a Garden experience. And He takes delight when we show up. But like anything worth doing, the depth of our experience will take a lot of practice and mental discipline. For the longest time I just expected to feel transported into God’s presence from the moment my lips uttered “Dear God…” at the beginning of my prayer time. But being in the Garden with Jesus isn’t contingent upon anything I say. In fact, there are times when the Holy Spirit impresses upon me to say absolutely nothing. No, being in the Garden is more about what we do with our hearts and minds. It’s about a complete surrender of our wills, agendas, desires, fears, and worries. When we enter the Garden with open hands and a receptive heart, there’s no telling where He will lead us along the path of prayer and deeper into His presence. In the Garden anything is possible.

Questions for Further Reflection

When we enter the Garden, Jesus wants us to be willing to lay down anything we shouldn’t be carrying around in our lives. The burdens of sin, distractions, and worries block us from fully hearing His voice and receiving His peace. What are some things you sense that He might be asking you to surrender to Him at the Garden gate?
God has given us imaginations for a purpose that extend way beyond the fantasies of childhood. Do you ever use your imagination to envision being with Jesus? If not, what holds you back? Are you willing to try using it more in the coming weeks? You can learn more about using your imagination for God with this previous Glimmers blog post.
Try spending some time imagining a walk with Jesus. It doesn’t have to be a literal garden scene. It might be your favorite place to hang out or your childhood playground. Wherever it is, take the time to let your vision fully develop. To get you started, you may want to watch this music video for The Garden by Kari Jobe.

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Steadfastness in Times of Change

1/9/2019

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Steadfastness in Times of Change God is a Fortress

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Sometimes it takes a radical event to open our eyes to the obvious… to see what has been in front of us all along. Like a tree that blends into a summer landscape until it explodes with color in the autumn… or a small white candle that goes unnoticed on a windowsill until the power goes out and it becomes the only light in the house… some lessons from God only become visible to us when He allows something unexpected or life-altering to reshape our perspective or shift our focus. It might be the sudden absence of someone or the removal of something we depended on, but in any season of change, there will always be an element of surprise. No matter how much we attempt to plan, prepare, or anticipate, the one factor we can always count on is being surprised as a result of a change in our relationships, environment, or resources.

While most of us — given the choice — would decline the option to be surprised as a result of life changes, virtually every lesson in life is sparked by some element of surprise. After all, why would we ever be prompted to learn or pushed to grow if we aren’t jolted in some way out of the current status quo? Somehow we get this as kids. Just as we’re getting comfortable with our third-grade material, we are pushed awkwardly into the brave new world of fourth grade. But as adults, we’re often shocked when life pushes us into that next phase, the new job, the empty nest, the smaller home, or the funeral procession. We may have sensed it coming, but we’re blindsided regardless.

And when it arrives — whatever the change is — it brings with it a life lesson. It creates a series of defining moments and always presents us with a choice: we can pivot in trust toward hope or turn in fear toward bitterness. Trust will teach us the lesson and usher us into a new level of strength. Fear will blind us to the truth and force us to repeat the lesson again and again.

This past week, my family has been enduring the hardest change of them all — the passing of a loved one. And while our struggles, grief, and pain in the loss of my father have not come as a surprise, some of the lessons we are learning from his quiet, well-lived life have been unexpected. There was no doubt in any of our minds that he was a caring and tender man of integrity with a big heart. But the nature and extent of his consistent character and positive impact on so many came as a surprise in the kind of way that forces anyone who knew him to take stock of their own lives.

While I could fill pages and pages with good things about Dad, one overarching lesson from his life keeps coming to my mind over and over as I ponder all the things that were said by people who attended either the visitation or the funeral service: he had a dramatic impact on many lives without creating any fanfare, ruffling others’ feathers, or receiving grandiose notoriety. Yet everything he stood for in his quiet manner of living, loving, and serving was counter-cultural because it was all clothed in humility, delivered with a joyful spirit, and done out of love for others.

Here are just a few of the many lessons emerging from Dad’s life, most of which fly in the face of how we live today in modern society. And I think I’m just seeing the tip of the iceberg of all that he will be continuing to teach me for years to come.

Companionship is a means of healing and restoration. My Dad loved a good conversation, but he also knew that taking the time to just be with someone could often heal deep wounds far better than words. I heard stories from people of how my father invited them to go to a baseball game or play cribbage at their greatest time of need or pain. Even with people he didn’t know that well. He didn’t try to tell them how to heal, recommend any self-help books, or encourage them to pull themselves up by their bootstraps. Instead, he simply spent time with them, and gently walked alongside them over weeks or months, knowing that sometimes the best way to progress through the healing process is with a friend who has no agenda, no artificial limits, and no ulterior motives.
Everything. Is. Personal. In Dad’s world, every conversation and interaction with someone was personal, even in business. He talked with someone like he or she was the only person in the room, even at a crowded party. He asked meaningful questions that revealed people’s passions for life, happiest moments, or most cherished relationships. He was never the life of the party, but he was always the guy you’d end up talking to all night because he made you feel so good about yourself. A note written with intention on a carefully chosen greeting card was very important to him to provide encouragement at just the right time or commemorate a special moment. Dad had a special way of giving people his full attention, even when his schedule or stress load was already full.
A contented heart focuses on others; a complaining heart erodes the soul. To the final end, Dad never complained about anything. Really. No matter how he felt or what he was going through, he squeezed out joy in every opportunity he had with others by focusing on them and what was going on in their lives, versus himself. No discomfort he had or disappointment he faced seemed to deter him from receiving all the good that life had to offer in that moment, no matter how small or inconsequential it would seem to you or me. He simply didn’t see any value in complaining. To fall back on one of my favorite childhood stories that he used to read to me at bedtime, in a world of Eeyores, Dad remained steadfastly a Winnie the Pooh. As a result, he created great joy for everyone who spent time with him. Even toward the end when he couldn’t say much at all, he somehow emanated joy. His caregivers wanted to serve him, his friends continued to be drawn to him, and his family looked forward to seeing the undaunted twinkle in his eyes.

In a world that is becoming more and more time-starved, high-pressured, and completely impersonal, Dad embodied a steadfast, but gentle resistance against the cultural grain. Our society usually puts people on pedestals who stand up for what they believe in with booming voices, shocking behavior, or attention-getting stunts. But Dad’s unwavering and consistent behavior was proof that true heroes don’t have to be seen on a grand stage to be known and loved deeply in the heart. His memorial service had standing room only on a dreary, cold day. Friends of mine who had never met him told me over and over, “Wow. After all I’ve heard, I really wish I could’ve met him. What an incredible person he must’ve been.” Yes, many lives will be different now, but Dad would’ve wanted us all to continue bravely, squeezing out any possibility of joy in every moment that is to come. I have no doubt that changes shook my Dad, and he was certainly known to worry about them coming. But once changes arrived, he rode them out like a champ.

Changes of any kind can come like an earthquake turning everything upside down at once. Or, they can come in like waves before a storm, rising and rising until one day we feel engulfed. The biggest struggle for most people with the changes of life is the worrisome belief that the surprises will all be negative, scary, or damaging in nature. When in reality, God has known about them all along and has established a plan before we were even born to walk with us in times of change and hardship, strengthening our faith, and eventually correcting our vision so that we see life’s events through the eyes of faith and not by sight. Little by little, as we lean into Him, He whispers to our souls and encourages us to look beyond our immediate human perspective through the lens of trust. As we learn to see life this way, the path before us may not always be obvious, but our next step will always be illuminated by hope and not fear. That’s because we can place our trust in a God who does not change (Malachi 3:6, James 1:17). Scripture describes Him as a rock, a fortress, an ever-present help in times of trouble. Deuteronomy 31:8 says, “It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” Trusting this way takes time to cultivate, but as Dad’s life demonstrated, each change we endure offers ample opportunities to rehearse this principle over and over. Like players on the field of life, we get better every time we swing the bat and run the bases. And while he wasn’t perfect, Dad’s life clearly demonstrates that he never missed a practice.

Questions for Further Reflection

What kinds of changes do you fear the most? Why do you suppose that is? Do you find yourself assuming that surprises will always be negative?
In what areas of your life are you most likely to experience discontentment or worry? Is there a link between those areas and the kinds of changes you fear?
Explore the roots of your fears and lack of contentment with God in prayer and search the Scriptures for a passage that specifically addresses it. Once you find a verse that speaks to you, commit to memorizing it and praying it back to God.
To explore more about cultivating a contented heart, you may be interested in this blog post: 10 Rules to Live By for a Contented Heart.

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