Every now and then I come across an author who is so quotable I end up highlighting the entire book. Whether it's because the topic is feeding a soul-deep hunger I didn't know I had or the author is simply talented, books like these become my own personal tools helping me improve my life over and over.
 
One such book I only recently discovered – The Art of Divine Contentment by Thomas Watson – has been around for almost four centuries, but its rules for learning how to find contentment in life are just as relevant today as they were in 1653. I guess it doesn't matter whether you are grumbling because you can't afford the newest iPhone or your team of oxen won't plow your field fast enough, learning to be content with what we have and what life brings us is an age-old problem for any generation. Rather than writing about all the reasons why you should desire contentment in both good times and bad, I'm assuming that almost anyone would want to experience daily joy and peace versus a life brimming over with dissatisfaction, complaining, and persistent unfulfilled longings.
 
For a self-confessed word nerd like me, the ornate language in Mr. Watson's book makes his quotes all the more intriguing and beautiful. However, I don't want 400 years of change in the English language to get in the way of wisdom, so I've taken the liberty of paraphrasing his rules here. By the way, in case you want to read the book, he actually published 18 rules, but I didn't think anyone would read a blog post that long, so I consolidated them into 10. And if your mind starts filling with objections as to why you can't feel contentment right now, he even has a chapter on objections and how to overcome them. Don't worry, he doesn't include ancient agrarian frustrations like misbehaving oxen, but rather serious impediments we can still relate to like a financial loss, death of a loved one, and betrayal by a friend. Life has changed dramatically in the last four centuries, but when it comes to matters of the heart, most everything is the same. So without further ado, here are the 10 rules.
 
Rule #1: Put your faith in action
All discontentment is rooted in unbelief. Having faith that God is trustworthy, that He is aware of your situation, and desires to help you through whatever life brings you, is the antidote to unfulfilled cravings and feelings of entitlement. When we determine in our hearts to trust that God knows what He is doing better than us, we put our faith in action. Psalm 84:11 says "The Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly." The problem is that we think we know what is more good for us than God does. And here comes one of my favorite Watson quote: "We imagine a certain condition of life as good for us, but if we were our own carvers, we should often cut the worst piece. We often see things in our own light, but if we could sort out and portion out our own comforts, we would get it wrong." When we choose belief, we'll be able to receive the best portion.
 
Rule #2: Work for God, not for money or your boss
When we focus on serving God in every little thing we do, and we labor so that He will be glorified in our lives, versus money, achievement or accolades, and then everything else falls into place. As Steven Curtis Chapman sings, "whether you're flipping burgers or cooking up mergers, do it all for Him," and discover contentment in the fruits of your labors, no matter how meager or huge they may be.
 
Rule #3: Strive for humility
If unbelief is the root of discontentment then pride is its food and water. Pride can make a fledgling unbelief blossom into a full grown thorn bush of discontentment, grumbling, and pessimism. "When you lay humility for your foundation, contentment will be the superstructure," according to Watson.
 
Rule #4 Delight in the right things
When we ask God to replace the desires of our hearts with His, we will be gradually transformed into vessels of joy and generosity, overflowing with satisfaction in our work, our relationships, and our financial situation. Meditate on Psalm 37:4 and discover real delight.
 
Rule #5 Stay positive
At first blush, this sounds like a cop-out rule, right? But Watson asks, "who looks at the backside of a painting?" Instead, he admonishes us to focus on what's beautiful, lovely, true, excellent, and praiseworthy. When we discipline our thought life according to Philippians 4:8, the Biblical promise of transformation can occur.
 
Rule #6 Don't place your hope in people or things
Everything in our culture today revolves around the idea of doing whatever it takes to make yourself happy. But happiness is a feeling and contentment is a virtue. Happiness is temporary and contentment is a state of being that breeds peace and trust. When we look to people, things, jobs, circumstances or money to make us happy, we will eventually be disappointed and even emptier than before. "The foundation of contentment must be within yourself. The word for contentment in scripture signifies self-sufficiency," Watson says. When you place your hope in God's promises and direction, you will have strength and endurance from within.
 
Rule #7 Compare yourself to others the right way
Comparing yourself to others is like walking on thin ice, you might fall through into a well of envy and end up drowning in discontentment. However, Watson encourages us to compare ourselves to others in light of Christ's sacrifice and how He's called us to honor and serve them as He would have. Jesus washed the disciple's feet, which was considered the lowliest act for the lowliest servant of the household. (This Rule is actually #10 in Watson's book, and it has five eye-opening components. A blog post for another week, perhaps.)
 
Rule #8 Adjust your perception
In the field of public relations, there's a common saying that perception is reality. That's because we often believe what we think we see, and we see what we want to see. But within each of us there is an ability to change our perceptions, and with the power of the Holy Spirit, our vision can vastly improve over time. We can choose to see what we have versus what we don't. We can choose to place a high value on spending time with friends versus spending money on the latest outfit. We can focus on things that bring glory to God, versus glory to ourselves. Watson says if we could cure our distorted, sin-trained perceptions, we would find the secret to conquering a discontented heart.
 
Rule #9 Meditate on the promise of heaven
We are most tempted to be discontent at our extremes - when we are the happiest and when we are in the greatest discomfort. When everything is going well, we can be lulled into a false sense of security, and then entitlement, and eventually complete self-reliance. We don't see our need for God because it is covered by all of our creature comforts. On the other hand, when nothing is going right, we can become despondent and fixated on everything we lack. And most of life is spent going between the two extremes. But when we place our "treasure in heaven," as Matthew 6:19 says, our satisfaction comes from glorifying God in any circumstance. Paul said it best in Philippians 4:11-13, "…in any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance, and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."
 
Rule #10 Pray… A LOT!
Back in the 1600s physicians used a horrible medical treatment that makes me cringe. They used to intentionally bleed patients thinking that the letting of blood would take the toxins with it. Although the practice is grim, I mention it to provide context for Watson's statement that, "When the heart is filled with sorrow and disquiet, prayer lets out the bad blood. The key of a prayer oiled with tears unlocks the heart of all its discontents. It is the unburdening of the soul…" As we endeavor to find contentment deep in our hearts, prayer is the best medicine for a lifetime of soul satisfaction. When you spend a lot of time living in the King's throne room, your desire to wander the streets looking for trinkets vastly diminishes.
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​Most people who attain legendary status are not usually associated with the virtue of humility. In fact, when we meet someone famous, we are often surprised if they seem down-to-earth and approachable. Of course, a part of this amazement is because we have often elevated them to a pedestal in our own minds. Many times that’s the very reason people who achieve great notoriety are not humble in the first place. People in their immediate circle – their staff, their closest friends, etc. – become prideful because they know someone of position, prestige, accomplishment, or fame. Having worked with quite a few CEOs and celebrities in my career, I have seen over a period of time how the “inner circle” often unknowingly creates a monster or at least the perception of one. Pedestals are tricky things because they are always top heavy and prone to crashing when you least expect it. And the worst part is, when a pedestal falls, it takes a lot of fragile hearts with it.
 
Being on a pedestal was not a problem for Billy Graham, who was one of the most influential and recognizable men of the last century. Millions of people throughout his 70 years of ministry, were touched by his passionate proclamations of the cross. And perhaps millions more were changed by the wise counsel he offered to 12 presidents of the United States since World War II.
 
Yet with a sphere of influence that eclipsed movie stars and the presidents themselves, the most common observation among most of today’s news stories and obituaries – even among the media who might have disliked his message or his perceived political partisanship – was that he exuded humility and grace. Biographer Grant Wacker who wrote America’s Pastor said that Graham once asked why someone would want to write a book about him. After conducting the interview, Wacker mused, “An hour later, driving back down the mountain and thinking about that conversation, I realized that Graham did not deny that he had done important things. He knew better. Yet he was careful to say that the ability to do important things was not really his own. The Lord had given it to him.”
 
Wacker wrote a blog post last year about three key qualities Graham possessed that were critical to his humility. It is insightful and well worth the read. But as I pondered what it takes to protect and exhibit humility, especially at the level of notoriety that Graham had achieved, what really struck me was a critical component missing from the blog post – the equal level of humility and integrity that Graham’s inner circle likewise must have had. To have a life graced with so much personal humility as Graham’s was, he must have had an inner circle who not only understood his proclivities, failures, and mistakes, but also refused to let his fame cloud their clarity of his everyday humanity. And, therefore Graham must have also been willing to be vulnerable and real with them. I have no idea if this was a spoken covenant among them, or if it happened organically, but one thing is certain, it could’ve only been generated by unconditional love for each other, a belief that honesty and compassion are required in equal measure, and commitment to a healthy community.
 
Now, you could say, perhaps it was Graham’s strong humility that guided and nurtured the same virtue in his family, friends and closest staff members. But according to Wacker, Graham’s humility was certainly not perfect, as he was known for name dropping and “relished” being close to powerful people, even though he never sought power for himself. The ironic implication here is that even though Graham had a healthy inner circle who kept him grounded, even he struggled with putting others on a pedestal from time to time.
 
Jesus called the temptation to put others on a pedestal favoritism. I love how blunt he is about it with the rich young ruler in Luke 18. In the parable, a wealthy young man approaches him and asks, “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” Before Jesus gives him the answer, he says, “Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone.” For many years, I read that verse and thought, “but Jesus IS God. Why does it sound like he’s denying his identity in this reprimand?” But thanks to the use of study tools like the ESV Study Bible or Bible Gateway, the context of the conversation and Jesus’ gentle sarcasm come alive and make perfect sense. The IVP New Testament Commentary says, “Jesus wants to warn the man not to be impressed by human credentials.” In fact, Jesus was identifying the timeless temptation to put accomplished or talented people up on pedestals. So before Jesus can even answer the man’s question about eternal life, he cautions that the ruler’s clever flattery and reliance on his own intellect is a distraction to the real truth – that Jesus is truly God, not just a good teacher.
 
Regardless of the famous people he hung out with and his own struggles with admiring those in power, one thing is obvious about Billy Graham, he ultimately placed his love and admiration for Christ above all others. He tirelessly proclaimed the Gospel to anyone who would listen. He was unapologetic about the depravity of the human race and its need for redemption, for healing and for the kind of love that never fails. When someone so revered and (almost) universally loved passes on, we are always so tempted to put them on a posthumous pedestal. Let’s not do that with America’s Pastor, but instead thank God for the glorious things he accomplished through a flawed, struggling, “ordinary farm boy,” as Graham was once called. 
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When I was in college, I had the amazing opportunity to live in Brazil for three months. Even now (ahem!) many years later, I can still easily conjure up memories of smiling faces, soft breezes, and laughter over a steaming hot bowl of feijoada (Brazilian stew). The Brazilian people have one of the warmest, most relationship-driven cultures on earth. So it shouldn’t have come as a surprise to me that they have a much more nuanced way of communicating love and affection for each other. But it took a while for my very American mind to grasp that Brazilians don’t casually throw around the word love like we do.
 
For example, they reserve the phrase, “I love you,” almost exclusively for romantic love. Here in America, we move easily and non-distinctly between saying “I love In-N-Out burgers,” to “I love my spouse.” A Brazilian would shake her head and try to coax us into being more careful and tender with that phrase. Even within the realm of romantic love, Brazilians have at least a dozen common, but distinct phrases to express the type and stage of romantic love.
 
The ancient Greeks also had multiple word variations for love, all of which would come in handy to have in the English language today. Some languages have up to 96 words to describe different facets of love. When I read about them, I almost become ashamed of how generic the notion of love is in our everyday vernacular. Like the Brazilians, the ancient Greeks believed that it was important to uniquely recognize the other kinds of love, each of which are distinctly valuable for everyday life. In fact, in Greek myth, the concept of romantic love – eros – comes from a form of “madness” brought about by one of Cupid’s arrows. I think this is particularly insightful, since eros is something that can drive us mad at different points in life. When we have it, we feel exhilarated and driven, sometimes at the expense of logic. And when we don’t have it, we seem to be willing to sacrifice all other kinds of love to get it. It can drive us mad to obtain it, stir crazy if we lose it, and unrealistic about keeping it alive.
 
The other Greek words for love include philia (friendship love), storge (familial love), agape (highest, altruistically-driven or divine love), ludus (flirtatious love), pragma (practical love), and philautia (self-love). Of course, each of these have healthy (pure) and dangerous (sinful) versions, but almost all of them have a role in every life at some point in time.
 
In 1 Corinthians 13, the famous “love chapter” of the Bible, the apostle Paul gives a list of amazing acts of faith, and he concludes with, “but the greatest of these is love.” And you guessed it, he used the Greek word agape to indicate the kind of love he was championing as the best. I find it ironic that this chapter in the Bible is commonly used at weddings (it was in mine!), but that most of us don’t have any idea what Paul is really saying by using the word agape instead of eros, philia, storge or even pragma. Yes, of course, he means that God loves us far more than we can imagine and that we should show that kind of self-less love to others. But there’s even more to his meaning, and it will revolutionize your perspective on all the other types of love. Getting a hold of Paul’s deeper meaning, believing it, and putting into practice, can literally transform every act of love you do from this point forward. Whether faded, lifeless, old, boring, frustrating, or twisted, agape love has the power to make any other type of love new again.
 
To communicate Paul’s deeper meaning, I’m going to quote a movie. I know that may seem irreverent, but sometimes the best way to grasp Biblical principles is through culturally-relevant analogies and stories. That’s why Jesus told so many parables. So here goes. In the movie Dan In Real Life, one of the characters is a teen boy who longs to spend time with his new girlfriend, despite the miles and difficulties between them. When confronted by her father who tells the boy that what he feels is only infatuation, he calmly states with conviction, “love is not a feeling. It is an ability.”
 
This is what Paul is talking about here. Despite anything we face in life… the trials, the joys, seemingly insurmountable odds, stubborn obstacles, the highs of great success … true love is not a feeling, but the ability to love in any circumstance and through any storm. It is a deeply-rooted belief that God’s sacrifice for us makes it possible to love Him back, despite our incredibly flawed humanness. It’s an unwavering faith that when we seek to love Him completely without ambition or agenda, He will, in turn, pour that love back into us. God’s love for us is so pure, so perfect and so enabling, that through Him we have the ability to extend love, grace and selfless behavior to anyone. His love is life-giving, purifying and restoring to all the other types of love. Through Him, we can do all things by His strength according to Philippians 4:13. Outside of His kind of love, our acts of love may have temporary impact, but they will always fall short in one way or another.
 
To bring this all home for Valentines Day, let’s go back to romantic love – eros. No matter where you are today – madly in love, wishing you could find love, desperately wanting to rekindle a faded love, or grieving over love lost – a deeply rooted and applied love for God can transform, purify, enhance, or redeem any of those situations. Like the roses in the picture above, He specializes in making us new (and everything we do) over and over again. In Him you will find abilities you never had. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17
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So here we are in the post-football seasonal slump. Super Bowl 52 is history and if you’re a football fan like I am, you might be experiencing symptoms similar to seasonal affective disorder right about now. Sure, I am a little bummed because my team lost, but the real downer will come this Sunday afternoon when I go through literal withdrawals. Sigh… there will be no football to watch on TV. Thank goodness the Winter Olympics start this week to help fill the void. But regardless of the amazing athleticism on display in PyeongChang, I will still be mourning the end of football season until warm weather entices me outside on Sunday afternoons.
 
For people who don’t love football, the fact that I experience something akin to the doldrums when the season ends might sound ridiculous. After all, football (or any other sport really) is not as important as spending time with those you love, volunteering to help those less fortunate, or many other much more valuable and worthwhile things to do. On that fact, I completely agree with you. And if I was forced to choose between watching a football game or spending time in those ways, I would (and I have) give up watching a game.
 
However, there are things about football or any other “non-essential” activity that do truly matter. In fact, they may even have an eternal outcome, not just the final score on the billboard. Because the spiritual impact doesn’t seem as obvious, we often tend to get squirmy and uncomfortable even thinking that God would care about something so seemingly temporary or superficial. For example, as things came down to the wire during Sunday night’s game, a friend of mine turned to me and asked, “do you think it’s okay to say a prayer right now for the Pats?” She was serious. And every now and then, I hear someone say, “God doesn’t care who wins or loses a game… or gets a medal, etc.”
 
I contend that he does care. He cares a great deal, but just not for the reason we might wish he did. Of course, he doesn’t care about who wins or the score just for the sake of triumph, rankings, or to make the fans happy. But because God is big enough, encompassing enough, and pervasively omnipresent, he absolutely does care about what I’ll call the ripple effect of every single little detail in our lives. In Proverbs 16:9, it says, “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”
 
For example, at the surface level, it may not have mattered whether or not the Eagles won the Super Bowl. But because God is omniscient and knows the future of every player, he can see the impact of that win on Nick Foles, the quarterback. He knows the cause and effect of that win in Nick’s life next year, in five years, and so on. If some ripple effect of that win could change Nick’s ability to turn even one person’s heart to Christ, then God might have allowed the win for that single reason. I’m not saying that’s why the Eagles won, of course, but God is capable of simultaneously orchestrating every step for every human being, and he takes a keen interest and involvement in our lives. (Yes, this level of thinking about God makes my brain hurt too!) Even more mind blowing, is that God is powerful enough to assess the ripple effects around every decision by every person to know exactly how we will impact each other now and forever in the future.
 
We should take both comfort and caution from these amazing characteristics about God. The comfort comes in knowing that everything that happens to you is within his view. He will use every situation and every detail in your life for his glory if you surrender your need for control and trust him to guide you. That’s why the Bible says in Romans 8:28 that, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” This can be a hard verse to swallow when the thing that happens is terrible. But just like the score of the game, it isn’t the bad thing itself that is most important, it is the ripple effect of it and how God can use it to change your life or someone else’s life for his glory now or maybe even years from now.
 
The caution comes when we realize that every little thing we do should be honoring and glorifying to him. John Piper wrote a blog post entitled, “How to Drink Orange Juice to the Glory of God,” and he warns us that “Sin is not just a list of harmful things (killing, stealing, etc.). Sin is leaving God out of account in the ordinary affairs of your life. Sin is anything you do that you don't do for the glory of God.” Colossians 3:23 says “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.” Truly, the word “whatever” really does mean anything and everything.
 
So am I happy about the Eagles’ win? No way. But I know my God has a reason for it and I trust him to use this Patriots’ loss to bring about something for his glory at some point. The principle is true for everything from drinking orange juice to going to work every day. There can be glory for God in the details if we invite him into them. The right perspective changes everything and the right heart glorifies God in anything.
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Last week, two music icons of the last century stepped off the stage. Each for different reasons, but both willingly. For Neil Diamond, it was his decision to battle a ferocious disease in private. Elton John simply said he wants to be around his kids more. Regardless of the reasons, they both decided it was time to move on to a new phase of life. Of course, if history is a teacher, then like many other celebs before him, Elton will probably come out of retirement just when we think he’s forever disappeared down the Yellow Brick Road. On the other hand, for Neil, nature has given him less of a choice.
 
Decisions like these should not just happen at the end of an illustrious career or when we hit a certain age. There are times throughout our lives when we all should be pondering the idea of stepping back from something. Walking away from a dream that has run its course and moving on to the next big adventure. The second calling… or the third… or even the fourth. Life is not static, but many of us live like it is. We live like the thing we are really good at is the only thing we can do… or the only thing we are made of and made for. And yet, if we are living life to the fullest, we should constantly be curious about new adventures and following new dreams.
 
But rather than living with open hands, willing to let go of our hard-earned niches of comfort for the next calling, we often succumb to fear, which is driven by that nasty, sneaky little thing called pride. Pride drives fear? Yep. Pride is the slickest, most alluring, most disguised stumbling block known to humankind. Why? Because the majority of the time, we are simply not aware of it. And if we do see it in our lives, it often masquerades as something else. Something positive, acceptable… even highly valued or respected like a strong work ethic or enduring commitment. On the flip side, pride is a master at casting blame elsewhere, so it can become a cozy robe of empathy and self-protection so that others will not see the real you. Instead, they might see someone lacking in self-confidence or pummeled by life’s hardships, thereby showering you with encouragement and attention. Pride, self-centeredness, selfishness, mistrust, a need for control, worry, stubbornness, they are all one in the same… and are roots of fear.
 
So just in case you're thinking that this is only a spiritual phenomenon, stop and think about your workplace. Think about that executive you’ve seen who feels he has earned his high position and has his fists so tightly wound with control that he doesn’t share the limelight or the appreciation. He’s afraid of the next young buck coming along who will make him look old, washed up and behind the times. What about your family life? Perhaps it’s a relation who always tries to control the family’s holiday gatherings. Maybe it’s a sibling or cousin who always has to be the one with a sob story so bad that it sucks all the air out of the room every time you get together. In all these situations, fear has them by the throat because they are ultimately worried about themselves. For the person in a position of leadership, what value will he have if he shares his cherished position and accolades? Who will notice and praise the family member if someone else does it better than her? What if she never does something meaningful again? And for the one who always seems to be the center of attention with a crisis, how will she ever make anyone like her and connect with her for who she really is? Hiding behind our fears may feel comfortable, but it is the most dangerous place to be.
 
Life was not meant to be lived with our fists clenched around the thing that we love the most or gives us self-worth. We are made for more than a career, more than a regarded role in our community, family or church, more than being a parent or even a great spouse. When we let go of the pride, suddenly our fears don’t seem quite so big, and we’re able to loosen our grip, lessen our control, and open lives and hearts up to live with more trust, more hope, and a vastly wider vision of what’s possible. We can begin to see our identity for who God really created us to be, not by what we do, say or generate ourselves. Galatians 4:7 encourages us that we were not created to be slaves to worldly pursuits, but rather heirs of God. And Ephesians 2:10 reminds us that God will always give us something meaningful to do for His glory. No matter what stage of life, we are created for purposeful, exciting kingdom work.
 
Now please don’t think for a minute that this is something I have down pat. But when I see people who have the courage to move forward in life with grace and integrity, it inspires me and reminds me to take a look at my own hands and my grip on life. White-knuckling whatever “stage" God has given you will eventually choke out the spotlight all together. Instead, the abundant life waits for those who willingly share, joyfully receive and sometimes let go completely, trusting that He always has another gift just waiting for them to unwrap when the time is right. That being said, He sometimes allows our hands to be empty for a while on purpose. It is in the empty times, that He better prepares us to become a vessel capable of learning what it’s like to find fulfillment in nothing but the greatest gift of all – His presence. Psalm 16:11 says, “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”

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