Blog: Glimmers in the Fog by Kim Stiver

The Incredible Impact of Being Ordinary

10/30/2019

Looking for the 5-day devotional? Scroll Down.
LISTEN to the ENHANCED PODCAST >>>>>>>
Subscribe NOW on iTunes, Spotify, and Player.FM!
Or READ the Post Below in 10 minutes 30 seconds

Please hover over image to share on Pinterest!

Just about every television sitcom relies on a familiar formula for evoking laughs on a consistent basis: the smooth, cool guy or girl is portrayed in contrast to the ordinary, often awkward, everyday person. Think Fonzie juxtaposed to Richie on Happy Days or Rachel compared to Monica on Friends. Whether it’s a co-worker, friend, sibling, or even a spouse, we can all relate to feeling self-conscious around someone else whom we deem to have more of the “it” factor than we do. Often undefinable and challenging to explain, this vague sense that someone is more sophisticated, put together, or magnetic than we are, can make us feel ordinary… unremarkable… and downright boring. But unlike a TV sitcom, going through life without having the “it” factor is normal for 99% of the population. Most people will be Richies or Monicas, but the world will keep telling them through advertising and social media that they should aspire to be Fonzies or Rachels if they want to be truly accepted, admired, and loved.

To further compound the pressure to be cool, which has probably been around since the dawn of civilization, we now live in an era where being noticeably different is also a prerequisite to achieve society’s newest definition of success — the social media like or follow. When I was growing up, if you were different, then you stood out in a bad way. And you certainly weren’t cool. No one wanted to be different, and embracing those who were unusual or unique was not a popular thing to do. So while I’m thrilled that we live in an era where people who “march to the beat of their own drum” or were once labeled “an odd duck” are now more likely to be celebrated and accepted, I’ve become saddened to see the heavy burden that people of all ages are carrying to stand out, get noticed, be loved, and feel approved. We’ve taken it so far, that people across every demographic are seeking counseling for anxiety and depression at never-before-seen levels in history. And despite the pervasive clamoring for attention from others, people are becoming more and more isolated and lonely.

And in the middle of all this pressure, I have been wondering where does faith fit? How should our desire to be extraordinary change if we are believers? When we read that Jesus chose to have dinner with the most uncool members of society and hang out with the most unsuccessful people of His day, what impact should it have on us when modern Christianity has its own bubble of supremely cool and very successful celebrities? In America, most Christians are not marginalized, rejected outcasts. And while followers of Jesus will always be considered awkward or uncool in some social circles, Christianity now has its own equivalent of the Fonzies and the Rachels, plus an extensive pantheon of social media darlings garnering widespread acclaim from the Christian community and a huge portion of mainstream media. These Christian superstars might be more positive, far less vulgar, and present a more altruistic platform than the majority of their mainstream counterparts — which is good — but what happens when the rest of us ordinary people begin to believe our calling from God also requires the “it factor”? What happens when we desire the same level of coolness and trendy difference that the world around us cannot get enough of?

Paul says in 1 Corinthians 9:22, “I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some.” So is it possible that Jesus may want those in Christian leadership to build platforms based on their ability to stand out and be unique? And if our leaders are seeking that recognition to more effectively share the Gospel, then is it something that God would also want for the rest of us who are living, loving, and serving in the routine trenches of life? Should all of us strive so hard to be extraordinary? Could it be that the culture’s emphasis on being unusual and the pressure to be remarkable has lured us into believing that there’s something wrong with being ordinary?

I realize all these questions may be an oversimplification of the complex world we live in. As a former professional marketer, I also understand all too well the amount of publicity and promotion required to ensure that a message can cut through the clutter and commercialization and reach its intended audience. That amount is staggering, by the way. But what I am getting at is something much more complex and deceitful than the simple allure of easy fame or widespread notoriety. More and more, it seems as though the one-to-one, deeply personal impact that Jesus modeled for His church body is being replaced by the impersonal, seemingly more efficient approach of mass inspiration. Instead of volunteering to serve Jesus through the intimate relational discipleship of teaching and mentoring others in our communities, loving a reclusive neighbor with regular visits, or giving back by helping a neighbor in need, so many people think God is calling them to become a public champion for a cause, a national recording artist, a full-time motivational speaker, a cutting edge entrepreneur, or a best-selling author. And, yes, God definitely calls people to those roles. Please don’t misinterpret what I am saying. The Bible makes it clear that God has plans for some believers that will include massive platforms. But the humbling reality is that He calls most of us to be incredibly ordinary as defined by the world’s standards. Of course, we are anything but ordinary to Him, and our impact for Him will be extraordinary when we’re walking in His calling, but by most earthly accounts, it will appear as though our lives are anything but high profile or well known.

Jesus taught the disciples to operate on a micro-scale … at the community level… creating a ripple effect powered by the Holy Spirit that eventually changed the lives of countless people throughout the ages. Today, more and more Christians are being duped into believing that God is calling them to serve Him on a macro-scale, creating an impersonal wave of information that reaches millions but changes no one. Yet most churches I know of are desperate for more volunteers to teach, mentor, organize, reach out, give, advocate, serve, and comfort both those within the church and the surrounding communities. Most church attendees go in person once or twice a month… tops. Many drop small offerings in the plate, but don’t discover the incredible joy that comes from worshipping through regular tithing. There are many self-professed Christians who seek a taste of the abundant life Jesus promised, but miss out on the truly satisfying feast of developing deep, life-nourishing relationships. Instead, they want the polish and sophistication of a well-organized church service with emotion-stirring music, but would prefer to avoid one-on-one accountability of a small group or the sacrifice of vacation time to chaperone for a youth mission trip. And that’s the irony of it all… Our culture pushes us to desire the praise of many for being different, yet we yearn to display our uniqueness and offer our precious talents from the safety of a distant place. We don’t actually want to get in the ordinary trenches of others’ lives and help them walk through the pain, the need, and the despair.

But the fault doesn’t only lie with church attendees — churches themselves can unknowingly fuel this widespread desire for celebrity wisdom, teaching, worship, and motivation. For example, there are some churches that prefer to bring in a high profile speaker to deliver a powerful message versus listening to an equally competent teacher within their own body. Then they essentially forget about (or overlook) the necessity of personal follow-up, accountability, and day-to-day discipleship in the days and weeks following their “big event”. This effectively encourages believers to flock to online workshops, seminars, and conferences, delivered by a big name, rather than being a part of a local Bible study, life group, or book club. Yes, great interaction and dialogue can happen during online Bible studies and classes. I’m leading one coming up in November through several Facebook Live events. But the problem creeps in when we find ourselves seeking all of our edification, encouragement, and teaching from a distance, rather than participating in a local body on multiple levels. Over and over, Jesus demonstrated that there is a time for learning, but there is no substitution for putting that learning into action into life’s ordinary situations and hardships.

James 1:23 so clearly puts the relationship between learning and action into perspective. “For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror.” In Luke 6:46-49, Jesus explains it this way: “So why do you keep calling me ‘Lord, Lord!’ when you don’t do what I say? I will show you what it’s like when someone comes to me, listens to my teaching, and then follows it. It is like a person building a house who digs deep and lays the foundation on solid rock. When the floodwaters rise and break against that house, it stands firm because it is well built. But anyone who hears and doesn’t obey is like a person who builds a house right on the ground, without a foundation. When the floods sweep down against that house, it will collapse into a heap of ruins.”

Oswald Chambers, author of My Utmost for His Highest and one of the most action-oriented theologians of the previous century, frequently reminded his seminary students of the connection between faith and serving God in the most ordinary of ways. Even back in the early 1900s, people strained after recognition and achievement, and Oswald pushed his young audience of future pastors, missionaries, and teachers to be on their guard against the pursuit of grand service and lofty performance for God. “It is ingrained in us that we have to do exceptional things for God — but we do not. We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things of life, and holy on the ordinary streets, among ordinary people— and this is not learned in five minutes.”
Yes, there are times when God puts one of His faithful servants on a platform, and countless people may benefit. Jesus also had moments of being on stage. There were times where He delivered a message to thousands. But He never stayed there. He never craved it, because He knew all too well both the power and the peril of being on a platform. Scripture indicates over and over that He was much more likely to be found looking one person in the eye rather than many. Thousands heard Him speak and followed Him, but the greatest impact of His ministry happened through the one-on-one transformations and small group teaching. Consider these pivotal, micro-audience moments from the Gospels and their crazy ripple effect throughout history and in your own heart:

The miracle of healing for the blind man, Jairus’ daughter, Lazarus, the woman with the endless bleeding, and so many more.
The conversation between Jesus and the woman at the well (John 4)
The moment when Jesus squatted in the dirt to wipe tears off the face of the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1-11)
The shock on Zacchaeus’ face when Jesus looked up to call him down from the tree (Luke 19:1-10)
The commissioning of the disciples to go out and share the good news two by two (Mark 6:7)
The painful interaction between Jesus and the thief hanging next to Him on the cross (Luke 23:39-43)
The intimacy of the upper room when Jesus appeared to His disciples and gave them the gift of His Spirit (John 20:19-23)
The conversation between the two travelers on the road to Emmaus and how Jesus intervened (Luke 24:13-35)

In all these moments, Jesus inserted Himself into the lives of ordinary people, transforming them and the circumstances into lightning rods for His glory. And this is how ordinary people can live truly extraordinary lives — letting Jesus fill every pocket, every corner of your heart, and following His lead, not your own desires or the world’s ideas of greatness. You and I may long to do something amazing for God, but all He wants us to do is long for more of Him, and Him alone. When that happens, everything else will fall into its proper place. Listen to Oswald Chambers one more time. “A Christian worker has to learn how to be God’s man or woman of great worth and excellence in the midst of a multitude of meager and worthless things. All of God’s people are ordinary people who have been made extraordinary by the purpose he has given them. We are not workers for God by choice. Many people deliberately choose to be workers, but they have no purpose of God’s almighty grace or His mighty Word in them. Paul’s whole heart, mind, and soul were consumed with the great purpose of what Jesus Christ came to do, and he never lost sight of that one thing.”

So, today, my friend, let me encourage you never to lose sight of the one thing that should reign supreme over your heart, with all of its desires, needs, and dreams. Simply long for Jesus. Long to know more of Him and bask in His presence. Loving Him with all your heart, mind, and soul and sharing that love with others as He leads you is all you need to be utterly extraordinary. Others may never recognize you for anything, and thousands may not flock to experience the work of your hands, but you will be making an impact and receiving a crown of glory from the only One in the audience who matters.

Five-Day Devotional Guide For Further Reflection and Daily Spiritual Journaling
These readings from today’s message can be used for a single-day study or your daily quiet time throughout the week. Before you begin reading the passage for each day, spend some time asking God to open your heart to His truth and hearing His voice.
Day 1 - When Jesus talked to the woman at the well, He was doing something the culture around Him deemed scandalous. Yet, this one-on-one interaction brought out an entire town to hear the Gospel. What should’ve become the social media scandal of its day, became a message of hope for many in the hands of Jesus. Read John 4 and write down anything remarkable from Jesus’ conversation with a very ordinary person.
Day 2 - Go back to yesterday’s Scripture reading again. This time, read it in a different version and write down the verse or verses that stand out the most to you. Spend time in prayer, asking God to give you an action item out of this passage.
Day 3 - Read the story of the woman caught in adultery in John 8:1-11. Spend some time thinking about her situation and how it might relate to someone you know. Don’t focus on the specifics of her sin, but on the ramifications of her pain, struggle, and societal standing. Now think about how Jesus related to her… showed her love, grace, and mercy. Write down name(s) and how God might be leading you to show the same tenderness to them.
Day 4 - Read James 1:23 and Luke 6:46-49. Spend time in prayer asking God to search your heart for any ways you have avoided taking action on something He’s asked you to do.
Day 5 - I recently read a blog post about fame by Sam Eaton that said, “If we aren’t enough without the attention, we’ll never be enough with it.” Read 2 Peter 1:3-4 and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in His truth today. Write down anything God lays on your heart.

What do you think of today's message? Comment and share your thoughts on this post! And if God brought someone to mind as you read or listened, please encourage them by sharing this post today!

1 Comment

Is Jesus Trying to Empty Your Net?

10/23/2019

0 Comments

Looking for the 5-day devotional?
Scroll down to the end of this post.
LISTEN to the ENHANCED PODCAST >>>>>>>
Subscribe NOW on iTunes, Spotify, and Player.FM!
Or READ the Post Below in 9 minutes 42 seconds

Hover over image to share on Pinterest... Please!

One of the most shocking things about God is that He not only wants to have an intimate, intensely personal relationship with us, but He also calls us and sets us apart for His particular use. He gives us things to do. He asks us to join Him in His work. 1 Corinthians 7:17 says, “Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him.” With all of our flaws, weaknesses, distractions, and fickle desires, the King of the Universe not only sacrificed Himself so that we could have fellowship with Him, but on top of that, He takes the time to engineer a highly detailed plan for our lives. If you haven’t stopped to think about this mind-blowing fact in a while, then I invite you to pause and do that right now.

Although I am currently in a transition phase and actually have no idea what I might be doing for work a month from now, let alone a year from now, I have been amazed at how much the Holy Spirit has been reassuring me that He is preparing me for something specific. During my quiet time, He has been reminding me that nothing is ever wasted, and through the encouraging words of others, He has been continually reassuring me that He has a purpose for me. And I am especially appreciative of the Holy Spirit’s abiding support when the things God is doing to prepare me for the future feel especially difficult and hard to process. But that is the very nature of God. It is consistent with His character. When He takes us through times of realignment, discipline, or change, He reminds us that He never changes. That His presence is always with us. That His mercies will not fail. That He will give us enough to face the day ahead. Most importantly, that if we yield to His course adjustments, He will be glorified, no matter how ugly the path is to get to a new destination.

Sometimes the changes God brings and the adjustments He asks us to make are hard to describe. We can’t put words to them, which is essential for understanding, and humans hate the feelings that come with being clueless or confused. Even if the ramifications are bad, we want to know what is happening and why. And that’s the very reason God often has for allowing the circumstances in the first place — they penetrate to the core of us. They reach us at the deepest level and reveal our lack of trust in Him to not only handle the unknown, but to orchestrate it at His discretion. But oh my, when God does turn the light on in our brains, and the Holy Spirit permits us a glimpse of why and what God might be up to, our primary reaction always brings a tidal wave of humility. Because without humility in our hearts, God will often hold back some or all of the next steps in His plan. Pride is the enemy of holy plans, and sometimes we don’t even know it’s in the way until the Spirit reveals it to us.

For months and months this year, I was struggling to describe and understand what was happening and how God was planning to use a slew of difficulties — both outward and inward struggles — for His glory. And then one Sunday I was sitting in church and heard a sermon that the Holy Spirit used to turn the light on, so to speak. Even more remarkably, the word He whispered to my heart was not even a point the pastor was trying to make. I went back more than a month later and listened to the sermon again and was surprised to see that what I wrote down in my notes — what really struck a chord with me — was not anywhere to be found in the message that was delivered. It wasn’t entirely off-topic, and it had a direct correlation to the scripture passage, but the Holy Spirit uniquely tailored an application from the sermon for me. Even though I’ve seen it happen before, I still never cease to be amazed at the wonder of God and His intimate workings in our hearts.
The primary Scripture passage that spoke to me from the sermon that day is what many title as the calling of Peter in Luke 5:1-11. I know the selection is a little longer than what I normally include, but I think you’ll get as lost in the story as I did. I especially like this version of it from The Message.

Once when He [Jesus] was standing on the shore of Lake Gennesaret [Galilee], the crowd was pushing in on him to better hear the Word of God. He noticed two boats tied up. The fishermen had just left them and were out scrubbing their nets. He climbed into the boat that was Simon’s [Peter] and asked him to put out a little from the shore. Sitting there, using the boat for a pulpit, he taught the crowd. When he finished teaching, he said to Simon, “Push out into deep water and let your nets out for a catch.” Simon said, “Master, we’ve been fishing hard all night and haven’t caught even a minnow. But if you say so, I’ll let out the nets.” It was no sooner said than done—a huge haul of fish, straining the nets past capacity. They waved to their partners in the other boat to come help them. They filled both boats, nearly swamping them with the catch. Simon Peter, when he saw it, fell to his knees before Jesus. “Master, leave. I’m a sinner and can’t handle this holiness. Leave me to myself.” When they pulled in that catch of fish, awe overwhelmed Simon and everyone with him. It was the same with James and John, Zebedee’s sons, coworkers with Simon. Jesus said to Simon, “There is nothing to fear. From now on you’ll be fishing for men and women.” They pulled their boats up on the beach, left them, nets and all, and followed him.

As I listened to that passage, and have re-read it many times since, one thing kept hitting me over and over — Jesus performed two miracles in this story. Most of the time, we focus on the obvious one, which is the overflowing of fish when Peter obeyed Jesus and let down the nets. But what the Holy Spirit illuminated my small brain is the unspoken miracle of the empty nets. You see, Peter was a professional fisherman. He was likely very good at what he did for a living. He and his co-workers were not kids, and they had probably learned the craft of fishing from their fathers, just as they did from their fathers before them. Because his training and experience taught him that working the nightshift was the most productive, he was clearly dubious when Jesus asked him to go out to deep water and lower his nets in the heat of the day. But one look in Jesus’ eyes and Peter was compelled to obey. Something about the presence of Jesus and the power in His voice inspired enough faith in Peter for him to let go of everything he knew to be correct, right, and profitable.

And this is where the Holy Spirit allowed me to see myself in Peter’s predicament. Jesus was about to call Peter to an entirely new life. Therefore, Peter’s nets had to be emptied of his own efforts, talents, skills, and self-reliance to be filled with complete dependence on God. Peter had known what he was doing, so there is no reason at all for us to believe that he didn’t normally catch fish each night. In fact, it would be nearly impossible for his nets to not contain at least a piddly amount of fish after a night of fishing. Jesus miraculously intervened to prepare Peter’s heart for his calling. If given a choice, Peter — just like you or I — would have gladly asked for and received the miracle of abundance. But none of us would have asked for the first one… the miracle of emptiness. Yet, Jesus knew it was the very thing that Peter needed to be prepared for greater things to come. Without it, Peter would not have been humbled, vulnerable, and ready to receive Jesus’ invitation. He would’ve continued to cling to himself, his experience, talents, skills, knowledge, and previous accomplishments. Without the miracle of Jesus emptying his net, Peter would’ve remained a fisherman rather than the fisher of men and women which he became.

Sometimes, Jesus has to empty our nets, my friend. And it’s a hard miracle to watch and receive. But regardless of the difficulty, confusion, and sadness associated with letting go of ourselves, including the very things that God seems to have blessed us with, it’s still a miracle in which we are called to embrace and rejoice. Americans pride themselves on their work ethic. We sing about our independence. We’re taught to “pull ourselves by our bootstraps” and achieve the American dream. Even as Christians, we often assume that God’s calling on our lives includes the use of what we’re good at… what we know… what we have skills for… Logic tells us that God brings us life experiences and bestows talents upon us to outfit us for His calling. We use the phrase, “I was born for this,” like we can predict the future. I think Peter thought he was born to be a fisherman. But Jesus turned his world upside down and made Peter realize that he was born to follow the Messiah and do whatever the Spirit filled him to do.

It’s not what Peter thought he would be doing, but I don’t think he ever sat around an evening fire with the other disciples lamenting the waste of not using his professional skillset. And this is where conviction flooded my heart. If Jesus has been trying to empty my net and I’ve been gripping the ropes unwilling to let Him have it with all it contains, then He won’t perform the next miracle. While many of the things in my net — or yours — may not be wrong in and of themselves, they may be things that weigh us down or blind us to our true calling because we think we were born to do them. We hang onto them and drag them around with us, rather than letting them go and trusting God to provide what is needed for the tasks that lie ahead. Later on, He might bring some of them out of the ashes to use for His work, but He asks us to be willing to sacrifice all of them for the sake of the call.

Many years after Peter’s calling by the Sea of Galilee, the Spirit of Jesus inspired him to write these words in 1 Peter 5:5b-7: “Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’ Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.” In his earlier years, we know from the Gospels that Peter, along with the other disciples, had wanted Jesus to exalt him… to raise him up in leadership. To give him a grand and glorious dream to achieve in God’s name. By the time he wrote these verses, Jesus had clearly performed many more miracles of emptiness within Peter. I like to imagine that as Peter’s pen obeyed the Spirit’s leading, he also vividly recalled the day Jesus performed a miracle to kick off Peter’s process of being humbled himself. Within and of ourselves, human beings generally don’t have the spiritual fortitude to choose a humbling experience. Nor can we muster up enough faith to believe the impossible. It is always the miraculous work of God.

So today, I’m not only trying to embrace the emptying process, but now also asking Jesus to remove whatever I’m dragging around in my net that gets in His way. And I find myself continually returning to the verses from 1 Peter 5 to help me remember that my calling ultimately is to become more like Jesus, rather than achieve great things for Him. Our aim should be to love God and be transformed by Him into new creatures, not to serve Him. As we become more like Him, His infilling and transformation will produce the works He’s called us to do and fully glorify Him.

Five-Day Devotional Guide For Further Reflection and Daily Spiritual Journaling
These readings from today’s message can be used for a single-day study or your daily quiet time throughout the week. Before you begin reading the passage for each day, spend some time asking God to open your heart to His truth and hearing His voice.
Day 1 - Re-visit the passages included in the message and read them in at least two different versions. Spend some time inserting yourself into the story of Peter. Ask God to reveal to you areas of your life that need to be emptied or He has emptied in the past. Sometimes we recall difficult times in our lives negatively, completely missing the signs of God at work. As you ask the Spirit to reveal truth to you from His Word, write down any thoughts that come to your mind.
Day 2 - Offer up prayers of thanks. If you’ve recently been through a season of having your net emptied, then spend the next few minutes thanking God for taking you through the process and ask Him to make you humble enough and have the eyes to see when it needs to happen again. If you’re yet to go through this experience, ask the Lord to prepare your heart. Give you the courage to accept the emptying when it comes. To thrive in the emptying. If you’re in the midst of it now, rest my dear friend. Stop trying to figure out what’s next and why He’s emptied the net. Instead, embrace the unseen that He is bringing to you. It may not seem like your net could ever be filled again, especially if part of your net emptying includes a dream you’ve always wanted. But when you spend time thanking God for His sovereignty over your life and His love at work in your heart, you will be strengthened for the road ahead.
Day 3 - Offer up prayers of Release. Spend time confessing and asking God to help you let go of anything that could be in the way of His plans coming to fruition in your life. Whatever it is, open your heart up to Him and ask Him to help you live with open hands rather than clenched fists, gripping your net to your chest.
Day 4 - Offer up prayers of Reliance. Jesus wanted Peter to rely on Him and not Peter’s own professional skills, talents, or experiences. Offer up to God your prayers for humility and dependence, asking Him to help you embrace the process of learning to lean on Him completely. He alone is responsible for results and outcomes. No matter how much hard work you put into it, Jesus is asking you to release the results of your labor to Him. The responsibility is all His. You can rest and trust in Him.
Day 5 - Offer up prayers of Renewal. The process of having your net emptied is a humbling learning experience. It takes courage to live fearlessly based on the Spirit’s strength and power, and not what you know best and what you know you’re good at. But when you release your control and all that you have to Jesus, followed by reliance on Him for your every dream, comfort, and need, He promises renewal. He promises peace. He promises joy.

What do you think of today's message? Comment and share your thoughts on this post! And if God brought someone to mind as you read or listened, please encourage them by sharing this post today!

0 Comments

Choosing Desire Over Duty

10/16/2019

1 Comment

LISTEN to the ENHANCED PODCAST >>>>>>>
Also available on iTunes, Spotify, and Player.FM!
Or READ the Post Below in 12 minutes 04 seconds

Choosing Desire for God Over Our Duty to Him

Please hover over image to share on Pinterest!

I’ve been a Christian for a long time. This year marks the 40th anniversary of my soul becoming the bride of Christ, and like any other monumental day in my life, some things about the salvation moment are burned in my memory. The sweltering heat of the school gymnasium packed with people seeking revival. The insistence of my mother that I didn’t understand enough to respond to the altar call. (She changed her mind when I practically crawled over her to get to the aisle whether she wanted me to or not.) And — perhaps most vividly -- I remember the camel-colored leather half-boots of the preacher walking over and kneeling down to my level to lead me in prayer. With all that detail, you’d think I’d remember what happened next, but I don’t. That’s where the memories leave me, but the impact of the decision has lasted a lifetime.

And so, the headline of today’s blog post might seem shocking, disappointing, or perhaps expected for those who are particularly pessimistic. We’ve all learned the hard way that even the most memorable and enthusiastic beginnings can still burn out and fade when tested by life’s battles and cynicism. But my story is a testimony, as it is with so many other long-term believers, that what God starts, He always promises to finish. (Philippians 1:6) We may have many stops and starts in our faith journeys. We may fail miserably, not just once but over and over. We often drift. And we may even walk away entirely, or go as far as some have done in a very public manner, and announce our “de-conversion.” But if we truly gave our hearts to Jesus in the first place, then we will always return to Him. Not of our own doing or effort, but entirely by His powerful and relentless pursuit of us. It may take months, years, or even decades, but the Father always comes for His child. Always. (Matthew 18:12)

While I never announced my intention to walk away from God, there was a season where I tried. And I definitely made some great time running in the wrong direction. Suffering from the fallout of a major life mistake often has a way of bringing us to our worst selves, showing us just how depraved we are when intentionally try to remove Jesus’ covering of grace, mercy, and love. It is in these moments that God allows us to know exactly how the prodigal son felt sitting in the pigsty of his own doing, covered with the filth of his greed and rebellion and absolutely famished for real nourishment. Sometimes, the mud of our mistakes, sins, and bad choices has to run into our eyes before we’re ready to see Jesus standing before us with a basin of hot soapy water, a big fluffy towel, and a radiant change of clothes.

Many similar stories of redemption stop right there with a vision of the restored child. We breathe a sigh of relief and say, “Thank God the prodigal found her way back. Whew!” But we all know the actual process of restoration is just beginning. The prodigal may have turned the corner, but the baggage she collected along the way still lingers, slowing her down, and threatening to pull her back at any moment. While some of my baggage was collected during my wanderings, one of the biggest weights I carried around pre-dated my prodigal drifting. In other words, it was something I picked up, or rather learned from those I respected as teachers and leaders in the faith. And when I walked away, Satan twisted and then used the very things I was previously taught as a barrier to coming back.

Before my major life mistake came crashing down all around me and triggered my season of divergence, I never missed a quiet time with God in the morning. I never skipped a volunteer opportunity that suited my gifting. And I most certainly attended church or went to a Bible study every week, unless I was ill or out of town. In short, I had a deeply ingrained sense of duty to follow the formula. I wanted God’s approval for doing everything He told me to do as perfectly as possible. But when my life crumbled despite following “the Christian formula,” I found myself falling down through the scaffolding I had erected by building my life with the wrong materials. It may have appeared that I loved God with all my heart and mind, and it definitely started that way, but somewhere between childhood and the latter half of young adulthood, I had begun to perform for God rather than love Him. I was seeking and serving Him out of duty, instead of desire. Rather than hungering for Him, I denied myself to please Him.

But as I said, the Shepherd always comes for His lost ones. So when I left the pigpen of my own design, I didn’t know what to do with my big suitcase of guilt, which was filled with duties, obligations, and performance criteria. Like an accident victim learning how to walk all over again, my spiritual legs were clueless on how to walk in faith without the shoes of legalism. I discovered that I didn’t even know how to pray, read the Word, or worship purely out of a desire for God and not because they were disciplines I was supposed to do. For months, I would try to do the things that Christians typically do and just give up in tears because I couldn’t do them without the habit of keeping track or feeling guilty if I skipped anything. The reality was I simply didn’t want to do any of it anymore. I had reached a place where spiritual disciplines designed to draw me closer to God were pushing me away because of my own expectations and fear of breaking the rules. Previous sin leading up to my life’s collapse had taken my faith with it, and the only way I would be able to find it again — to find my real identity in Christ — was for God to bring it out of the ashes.

Finally, out of desperation, I remember trying to pray and blurted out something like this to God: “If can’t pray because I want to… because I desire You and not because I want to please you or achieve some standard… then I’m not going to pray at all. And the same goes for reading the Bible. I won’t fight You anymore. I won’t run from You. If You work a miracle in my heart and cause me to want You, then I will surrender. But I’m not doing anything out of duty, rules, or because I’m supposed to anymore. Enough is enough, and I’m tired.”
And then I stopped. I mean really stopped. If I didn’t feel like reading the Bible I didn’t. If sleep beckoned me to linger in bed on a Sunday morning, I gave in. And praying? Very infrequent. At first, it seemed like nothing was happening in me spiritually. But my heart had changed, because, for the first time, in many years, I woke up each day with a blank slate for God’s use. I was daring Him to fill it, rather than going through the motions of a pre-defined list. I had seen His power in my younger years. I had known the sweetness of His presence before I had begun to layer on the callouses of my own performance. So I waited on Him with a pained and timid hope.

About that time, the book Desiring God by John Piper found its way into my heart’s fragile restoration. The reality was, I wanted to want God. My spirit was longing for communion with my Creator, so when I saw the title of Mr. Piper’s manifesto to Christian hedonism, I was hooked. But I was not prepared for the magnitude of what I read, and it took me months of reading and re-reading it to even grasp the concept of glorifying God by being satisfied in Him, rather than following a formula or finding ways to please Him. And the battle Satan waged to prevent me from understanding that God wants me to experience delight without strings attached was a fierce, relentless one. I don’t think Satan cares if I’m Christian. What he cares about is if I live and act like a Christian without chains… a follower who chases after Jesus not because she has to or because she’ll get anything from it, but simply because she wants to be with Him all the time. John Piper puts it this way in his book, “He beckons us into the obedience of suffering not to demonstrate the strength of our devotion to duty or to reveal the vigor of our moral resolve or to prove the heights of our tolerance for pain, but rather to manifest, in childlike faith, the infinite preciousness of His all-satisfying promises.” I had to let go of the idea that there was anything I could offer or do for God, and instead let Him do everything and anything through me and within me for His glory.

Also vital to my healing, I had to shed the notion that being happy was wrong. It took years for the idea to sink into my soul that God wants us to find so much delight and satisfaction in Him that we not only discover what real happiness is all about, but that we can relish in it without any payment or punishment on our part. Because I grew up hearing the opposite from an important and involved family member, I had years of negative thoughts built up in my mind and shackling my heart. I had been taught that the other shoe would always drop, meaning if you’re happy and things are going well, you better watch out because something bad is coming. This, of course, is the opposite of how Jesus wants us to react to the truth about suffering. When He acknowledged that the world brings us trials and pain in John 16:33, He included the key to happiness right along with it. “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

The problem with expressions like “the other shoe always drops,” is that it stops at half the truth, making it a full lie. And that’s how Satan wraps chains around hearts, creates fear, and fuels our doubts. He feeds us enough of the truth to make us believe the whole lie. He twists what is life-giving into what is life-stealing. We often falsely believe that the absence of suffering is the path to overflowing happiness and satisfaction in life. And that’s why I spent most of my life living in fear of the unknown… an imagined future suffering that was always on its way. No, the Spirit of my loving Heavenly Father has been teaching me for the last 16 years or so, that happiness is having every desire of my heart fulfilled. And when the desires of my heart are fixed on finding satisfaction in God, then He will replace any that shouldn’t be there with His desires for me. The essence of this truth is found in many places throughout Scripture, but my favorite is Psalm 37:4, which tells us to delight in the Lord, and He will give us the desires of our hearts. Through the years, that verse has helped me combat fear and disappointments. It has also guided me through major decisions and career changes. And right now, it’s teaching me how to break the stronghold of seeking validation, comfort, and reward from anything or anyone other than Jesus.

I didn’t stay away from having a daily quiet time with God for very long. The Lover of My Soul was faithful to woo me back. I can’t say I was instantly consistent or that I don’t ever go through dry seasons, but over the years since, the Holy Spirit has been kindling my desire for Him and not what I can do for Him or receive from Him. I’ve also learned that being a Christian hedonist isn’t just about seeking joy by choosing to embrace suffering and trials on behalf of Jesus. It’s not just about avoiding sin because we love Him. It’s also about choosing the best portion — making choices between what is good and what is best. When we seek satisfaction in Jesus more than the “good” offerings of this world, the Holy Spirit teaches us what true freedom is all about. He teaches us how to be less distracted and less controlled by our emotions, passions, and pleasures, whether they be outright sinful or entirely healthy in moderation. But God also encourages us to have feelings, not to deny them or stuff them down. The difference is that He transforms our feelings from controlling forces into beautiful, fulfilling experiences in His presence. I love how it’s written in Desiring God: “Minimizing the importance of transformed feelings makes Christian conversion less supernatural and less radical. It is humanly manageable to make decisions of the will for Christ. No supernatural power is required to pray prayers, sign cards, walk aisles, or even stop sleeping around. Those are good. They just don’t prove that anything spiritual has happened. Christian conversion, on the other hand, is a supernatural, radical thing. The heart is changed. And the evidence of it is not just new decisions, but new affections, new feelings.”

While I’m sure my story is different from yours, and I would never advocate for anyone to stop having a daily quiet time, I can tell you this without reservation — God desires your willing heart over and above any other thing, act of service, money, or discipline you can perform. None of that matters if your actions are motivated by anything other than love without strings attached. So God’s direction to you will be as unique as you are. Maintaining key disciplines of the faith is the right thing to do for most people, and are often a crucial part of rekindling your desire for God even when you don’t feel like doing them. However, there is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to God’s extravagant love for us. Seek His help, expect Him to reveal the path to you in unexpected ways, and be obedient to the Holy Spirit’s leading.

When I was a child, my feelings were far more exciting than they are as 40-something. When I was seven, every day was a fountain of new experiences and mostly enjoyable emotions. And while I may not remember what happened right after I asked Jesus to come into my heart on that hot summer night, I imagine my kid-self being exhilarated and overjoyed. Though I can’t attach a specific memory to it, the deepest place of my heart also tells me that Jesus comforted me and brought me peace in a season of confusion and change. My parents were going through a separation at that time, which led to their divorce a year later. So God’s timing for drawing me to Him was perfect and couldn’t have been more critical. I was a daddy’s girl, and my Heavenly Father stepped in to walk beside me and whisper to my heart that I didn’t do anything wrong, that I wasn’t abandoned, and that I was loved fully and completely by the One who would never go away. And this is why I think I remember so vividly the shoes of the preacher who prayed with me on that night so long ago. They were just like my daddy’s shoes. He used to wear them all the time. So in the absence of my earthly father, whom I loved and trusted so dearly, God sent His love to me in the perfect messenger. He knew just what I needed. He knew me better than myself. Leaving no detail to chance, my Father stopped at nothing to come get me. And He would do it a million times over to bring me home.

Five-Day Devotional Guide For Further Reflection and Daily Spiritual Journaling
These readings from today’s message can be used for a single-day study or your daily quiet time throughout the week. Before you begin reading the passage for each day, spend some time asking God to open your heart to His truth and hearing His voice.
Day 1 - Any follower of Jesus can become the prodigal child given the right circumstances, heart position, and status of our walks with God. That is why humility is so important to cultivate in our lives. Being aware that we live by the grace and mercy of Jesus, makes us more resistant to Satan’s schemes to pull us away. Read the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32 and write down what God whispers to your heart. Who do you identify with the most in the story (the dad, the older brother, or the prodigal) and why? Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal anything hiding in your heart that might diminish your desire for being with, or returning to, God.
Day 2 - Read Psalm 16:5-11 and if you have time watch John Piper’s first video on the foundations of Christian hedonism (it’s 13:30 long). Ask the Lord to instruct you (verse 7), assure you (verse 8), and remind you of the last time you experienced fullness of joy in His presence (verse 11). Write down any words He whispers to you.
Day 3 - Read Psalm 37:4 in at least three different versions of the Bible. Commit your favorite version to memory and then spend time in prayer asking God to change the desires of your heart to match His.
Day 4 - God always finishes the work He starts in our lives, but sometimes we get in His way and cause delays or detours. Read Philippians 1:6 and ask God to reveal to you anything that you might be hindering and why. Write down what He’s asking you to do next.
Day 5 - The pleasures of God are far better than anything we can find or anyone else we can be with here on earth. Sometimes, however, we struggle with the words used to describe pleasure or even feel guilty about experiencing it. Read Psalm 4:7 and Psalm 19:8,10 and then read this short article on the Desiring God website. Finish by ask God to heal your tainted perceptions of pleasure and redeem them for His glory.
Recommended Resources from DesiringGod.org:

FREE book and Bible study: When I Don’t Desire God: How to Fight for Joy
Desiring God the book (updated and expanded) - You can download a free study guide here or purchase the book on Amazon.
Multi-Part Video Series: The Foundations of Christian Hedonism

What do you think of today's message? Comment and share your thoughts on this post! And if God brought someone to mind as you read or listened, please encourage them by sharing this post today!

1 Comment

The Importance of Love-Infused Criticism

10/9/2019

2 Comments

LISTEN to the ENHANCED PODCAST >>>>>>>
Also available on iTunes, Spotify, and Player.FM!
Or READ the Post Below in 9 minutes 51 seconds

The importance of love-infused criticism and why God calls us to give it

The Importance of Love-Infused Criticism and Why God Wants You to Give it

Hover over image to share on Pinterest. Thank you for sharing!

Last time I led a group Bible study, a rare and remarkable thing happened one night after our session concluded. A class member came up to me as I was packing up and gave me some love-infused, Spirit-directed constructive criticism. As the least talkative and shyest person in the group, I was both surprised and appreciative to hear her thoughts, no matter how difficult they were for me to process. Because she wanted to be obedient to God’s leading and truly cared for me and about our relationship, she spoke up. This act of love wasn’t easy for her. She was almost trembling when her words first began. But her step of faith pushed both of us to grow in Christ and deepened our bond as a result.

I will never teach that particular lesson the same again, and she has become more confident in sharing what God lays on her heart. What’s more, I believe the impact of her obedience ripples far beyond the two of us, touching lives from now and into eternity. I realize that may sound like I’ve blown a simple act of constructive feedback way out of proportion and exaggerated its potential, but I assure you, I have not. You see, prior to sharing her thoughts with me, she had always been hesitant to speak up. It was because of her desire to be more like Jesus that the words came out of her mouth. And once we overcome a spiritual obstacle of that size in our lives, the floodgates for God’s blessings begin to open in ways we cannot imagine. One act of obedience gives us the fire and fuel to have another. And another. There is no way to fathom the lives that will be touched because she is more empowered by the Spirit and encouraged in her walk with Jesus. And for me, her words have the potential to keep me from inadvertently hurting people’s feelings or becoming an impediment to their spiritual growth because of my unintended insensitivity.

One of the most difficult and least practiced things God asks every believer to do is to love each other completely. Fully. Not just a half-way, happy, feel-good, social love. Gritty, down-in-the-trenches love is what Jesus practiced, and He wants us to go there with Him. Even when it’s uncomfortable. Even when the situation calls for tough love. Even when the world says, “don’t get involved,” “just ignore it,” “live and let live,” or any of the other euphemisms that are out there to make us feel better when all we want to do is disregard something we know the Holy Spirit is prompting us to address. This kind of love goes even further than the noble love of social justice and standing up for those who can’t help themselves. That’s because complete love requires us to get intensely personal, putting ourselves, our pride, and our own comfort level in jeopardy for the sake of helping another become what God has created him or her to be in His Kingdom.

Pastor and author Tim Keller said, “Love without truth is sentimentality; it supports and affirms us but keeps us in denial about our flaws. Truth without love is harshness; it gives us information but in such a way that we cannot really hear it. God's saving love in Christ, however, is marked by both radical truthfulness about who we are and yet also radical, unconditional commitment to us. The merciful commitment strengthens us to see the truth about ourselves and repent. The conviction and repentance moves us to cling to and rest in God's mercy and grace.” And here’s my favorite part of Keller’s commentary on what a complete, God-centered love requires. “[Spiritual friendship] is eagerly helping one another know, serve, love, and resemble God in deeper and deeper ways.” The only way we can help each other resemble God in deeper and deeper ways is being obedient when the Holy Spirit nudges us to offer someone constructive feedback infused with His love and without a trace of judgment.

In our modern culture, this aspect of love is often avoided for a myriad of reasons. Most of us, including me, have avoided it at one time or another because we don’t want to seem judgmental. After all, in today’s society of acceptance and tolerance, any trace of criticism is often immediately condemned and publicly scorned. Sadly, most of the time, such criticism is delivered at the wrong time, through the wrong channels, and utterly without the anointing of the Holy Spirit or Biblical confirmation. And because of the highly charged rhetoric playing out in social media, where almost every element of criticism today is not appropriate or offered correctly, anyone who dares wade into those waters — either publicly or privately — experiences an onslaught of negativity or shame. But regardless of our culture and despite what people might think, the Bible encourages believers to love each other enough to tell each other the truth in love and walk alongside each other in accountability. It’s not the kind of thing that belongs in the public arena, but in a one-on-one relationship rooted in Jesus and covered by His grace.

Another reason followers of Jesus flee from opportunities for critique and edification, is spiritual laziness or selfishness. Ouch. I know that’s offensive to say, but I’m only talking about it because I am guilty of it. We all know what the word critique means, but edification is one of those spiritual terms thrown around a lot and rarely used properly. It is not a synonym for encouragement. Edification is defined as instruction, teaching, or building one another up. We can encourage one another by our words and sometimes we even do it with our actions. But by its very definition, edification, cannot be done without taking action. Edification takes work. Edification takes a sacrifice of self, a surrender of pride, and accepting the personal risk. And it definitely includes a time commitment. Many believers don’t give complete love to others because we’re too busy, too tired, or simply can’t be bothered to expend that much time and energy. Helping someone else resemble God in deeper and deeper ways, as Keller puts it, is an investment. Still, if we don’t do it, then we are not only limiting our brother or sisters’ potential in Christ, we are also limiting the impact of the Kingdom as a whole. We are not serving each other as God intended as in Proverbs 27:17, “You use steel to sharpen steel, and one friend sharpens another.”

While I am sure there are many other excuses we can make for not edifying each other, a final reason we may avoid it, is because we believe we are ill-equipped to do so or simply see it as a gift we don’t have. But the fruits of the Spirit begin to show up in the life of any person growing in the fullness of Christ. We don’t receive a “get out of jail free” card on edification just because we don’t feel naturally equipped to do it. Ephesians 4:15-16 says, “Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into Him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.” If we’re afraid to do something that God asks us to do, then we’ve just discovered the perfect opportunity for Him to show up in miraculous ways and draw us closer to Him. It is the essence of Paul’s radical statement in Philippians 4:13 that we can do all things through the power of Christ at work in us.

While a detailed lesson on how to give and receive Godly criticism and helpful feedback is beyond the scope of today’s message, it would be irresponsible of me not to mention the importance of being able to practice either according to Biblical principles. There is definitely a wrong way to give it or receive it, and either can be devastating. At the bottom of this page, I have included some links to detailed articles written by others far more trained to help you in this area of growth. I invite you to spend time with God and let Him lead you on where to go next with this. In the meantime, here are a few simple guidelines that apply to either giving or receiving.

Pray immediately and thoroughly. When sensing that the Holy Spirit is prompting you to offer feedback or when someone approaches you with it, begin to seek the Lord’s involvement immediately. Before you speak or react, invite Jesus to anoint your heart and mind with His grace, compassion, and humility. When possible, take the time to pray and study the Word before taking action of any kind. Sometimes God prompts immediate feedback, but more often, He prompts us to spend a significant amount of time preparing before taking action.

View the other person with an assumption of love. Whether God is leading you to offer edification or receive it, assume that the motivation for action or reaction is love. Neither person in the exchange should operate under the judgment of the other, but move forward with the belief that Jesus can and will work through the words of the other person, no matter how flawed they come out.

Listen to what they’re actually saying, not what you think they really mean. In Philippians 4:8, Paul admonishes us to only think about what is true and honorable, not what we imagine to be true. Only the Spirit of God can read someone’s mind or know what’s in their heart. Both the giver and receiver must trust God and trust that He’ll bring out the best in each other.

Listen more than you talk and desire growth. Even if you are giving feedback, if you are truly interested in the other person’s edification, you will talk less and listen more. If you are receiving it, then listen with an open mind even if you initially feel offense, ridicule, or condemnation. Both people should aim for God’s work in the conversation, not their personal agendas or validation.

Be humble. The giver is not superior or more holy. The recipient has no reason to feel shame, but must also acknowledge that everyone has room for growth.

Nurture the relationship and be mindful of unity. One of the most important things to Jesus was the unity of those who follow Him. It so crucial that He made it a priority to pray about unity in the Garden of Gethsemane in the hours leading up to His crucifixion. Biblically-grounded feedback will always seek reconciliation, restoration, and self-sacrifice for the sake of the relationship and the body of Christ.

Follow-up and commit to accountability. This is one of the most-omitted steps of Godly criticism, both on the part of the giver and receiver. If God prompts you to offer feedback, then make the commitment to encourage and check back in, not just once, but multiple times. Do everything you can to nurture your brother or sister in the days and weeks after your conversation. If you receive feedback, follow up with the one who offered it to let them know you appreciate it and their willingness to be obedient. Satan often lurks in the aftermath of these kinds of dialogues to make the giver second-guess what God told them to do or how they did it. The evil one wants to discourage them from ever doing it again. And there’s nothing he wants more than to make the recipient feel anger, bitterness, embarrassment, and complacency, among many other insidious reactions. Take the victory in Jesus’ name, and don’t let Satan win in the aftermath.

The older I get, the more I see so many areas of my life and aspects of my behavior that need to be corrected, softened, or completely eliminated in order to become more like Jesus. As I think back over my years of serving in the church or in my community, I often find myself wishing that someone had said something to me much earlier in my life about many things. And that spurs me to be available to God when He gives me the opportunity to help others on their journey. Loving others completely in Jesus doesn’t require a certain rank. It isn’t reserved for someone with a title. It doesn’t always come from someone who is older, or even perceived to be wiser than us. Building up each other up is every believer’s job and when the Holy Spirit is guiding it, God will always be glorified and His body will always be strengthened.

Five-Day Devotional Guide and Additional Resources
These readings from today’s message can be used for a single-day study or your daily quiet time throughout the week. Before you begin reading the passage for each day, spend some time asking God to open your heart to His truth and hearing His voice.
Day 1 - Hebrews 10:24 tells us to stir one another up to love and good works. Read the verse in several different versions of the Bible and write down what God may be calling you to do. Ask Him for opportunities to stir others up around you and the courage to follow through.
Day 2 - Sometimes God calls us not to help someone see what they might be doing that could be improved or corrected, but to overcome weaknesses like fear. Read Isaiah 35:3-4 and ask God to show you how you can edify someone else in their faith.
Day 3 - God may direct you to spend time with someone who needs constructive criticism surrounding actions or behaviors that stem from sin. Read Matthew 7:3-5 and Galatians 6:1-2 and spend time with God asking Him to reveal things in your own life that He has redeemed and could use for His glory.
Day 4 - Read Ephesians 4, paying close attention to verses 2, 3, 15 and 29. God wants us to speak from a heart that is pure before Him and willing to love fellow believers more than our own agendas. Spend time in prayer, seeking the Holy Spirit to reveal any motives and attitudes that may be lurking in your heart beneath the surface. Pray Psalm 51:10-12 back to Him.
Day 5 - Read Proverbs 27:9 and Romans 12:10. Ask God to place the name of someone on your heart today that you can encourage with Godly affection and affirmations. Write down ways God is leading you to spend more time and energy encouraging and edifying others.
Additional growth resources:
Giving and Receiving Godly Criticism: Sharpening Each Other With Your Words — this instructive article includes step-by-step guidelines for offering and receiving constructive criticism.
The Secret to Giving and Receiving Critique — this blog post provides real-world examples of why Biblically guided critique is so vital to our faith.
How to Handle Your Critics Like a Pro, Not a Toddler — this straight-forward message offers actionable suggestions for receiving and processing others’ criticisms even when they are misguided or unfounded. It's written for leaders, but it applies to all of us.

What do you think of today's message? Comment and share your thoughts on this post! And if God brought someone to mind as you read or listened, please encourage them by sharing this post today!

2 Comments

10 Keys to a Contented Heart

10/2/2019

2 Comments

LISTEN to the ENHANCED PODCAST >>>>>>>
Also available on iTunes, Spotify, and Player.FM!
Or READ the Post Below in 9 minutes 21 seconds

Hover over image to share on Pinterest... please!

When most of us think of contentment, we usually associate the virtue with a sense of satisfaction or peace specifically about money or possessions. But contentedness is listed in the dictionary as an antonym to envy, and when you think of it from the opposite point of view, an entirely different list of scenarios arises. Certainly money-related discontentedness — like houses, cars, careers, and clothes — is a common trap. Still, there are two other major, less tangible categories of restless dissatisfaction that we are less likely to recognize or acknowledge. The first I’ll label the image and social status category. Everything from a person’s fitness level to their community standing falls into this list of everyday envy triggers. And the other group is the more subtle, but just as common bucket of dissatisfaction that is sparked not by jealousy or comparisons, but powerful, deep-seated longings, such as personal achievement and individual happiness.

No matter what category our source of discontentment lies, the longer we let it fester and grow, the more trouble we get into. When our desire for it is so strong that we become fixated on it, it’s absence begins to taint our outlook on life, reduce our joy, fuel our restlessness, and water a slow-growing seed of bitterness.
Having walked in our shoes, Jesus knows what it means for us to struggle with discontentment, envy, and restlessness. Even still, He calls us to holy contentment in all situations, surroundings, and seasons of suffering. In other words, He promises that we can be satisfied and peaceful resting in Him during in every discomfort, period of waiting, or unfairness. That doesn’t mean it’s never God’s will for us to be discontent or restless, because sometimes the Holy Spirit does move in our lives to stimulate healthy changes that need to be made. But even when God is pushing us to take up a cause, modify or eliminate habits, or initiate a healthy confrontation, a soul-level contentment should still remain even if our minds and hearts are growing restless for positive change. A soul-level contentment is firmly rooted in the knowledge that He’s in control and knows what’s best for us, even if our life is in a time of upheaval or waiting.

But how do we attain this soul-level contentment and arm ourselves against all types of dissatisfied restlessness, envy, and jealousy? As it is with so many instructions from Jesus, the concept is simple, but the implementation is difficult. Yet, He promises us that when we allow His Spirit to work in our hearts to bring about transformation, His burden will be easy, and His yoke will be light. And I think that is the most beautiful part about our pursuit of contentment — it is our yielding to His effort in our lives, not our own. It is our surrender, not our striving, that makes soul-contentment possible. Still, it is helpful to receive some practical guidance — something we can get our heads around and apply to our daily lives — from those who have walked this road before us.

One such person is Thomas Watson, who wrote The Art of Divine Contentment almost four centuries ago. Despite its date of publication, the keys to contentment it describes are just as relevant today as they were in 1653. I guess it doesn't matter whether you are grumbling because you can’t afford the newest iPhone, or your team of oxen won't plow your field fast enough, learning to be content with what we have and what life brings us is an age-old problem for any generation. For some of you, the rest of this blog will sound familiar, as I originally recapped Watson’s rules for contentment in a previous blog post a year and a half ago. But since I am currently struggling with discontentment during a season filled with both disappointment and waiting, I needed to revisit Watson’s brilliantly-worded roadmap for satisfaction in Jesus. Like a familiar sweater or favorite comfort food, Watson’s words remind me of God’s uncompromising truth in a warm, compassionate embrace.

For a self-confessed word nerd like me, the ornate language in Mr. Watson's book makes his quotes all the more intriguing and beautiful. However, I don't want 400 years of change in the English language and culture to get in the way of wisdom, so I've taken the liberty of paraphrasing and consolidating his 18 rules into 10 keys for a contented heart. And if your mind starts filling with objections as to why you can't produce contentment right now, he even has advice on objections and how to overcome them. Thankfully, he doesn't include ancient agrarian frustrations like misbehaving oxen, but rather serious impediments we can still relate to like a financial loss, death of a loved one, and betrayal by a friend. Life has changed dramatically in the last four centuries, but when it comes to matters of the heart, most everything is the same. So, without further ado, here are the 10 keys — with a few new additions along the way.

Key #1: Put your faith in action.
All discontentment is rooted in unbelief. Having faith that God is trustworthy, that He is aware of your situation, and desires to help you through whatever life brings you, is the antidote to unfulfilled cravings and feelings of entitlement. When we determine in our hearts to trust that God knows what He is doing better than us, we put our faith in action. Psalm 84:11 says, “The Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” The problem is that we think we know what is better for us than God does. And here comes one of my favorite Watson quotes: “We imagine a certain condition of life as good for us, but if we were our own carvers, we should often cut the worst piece. We often see things in our own light, but if we could sort out and portion out our own comforts, we would get it wrong.” When we choose to believe that God alone knows what’s best for us, we’ll be able to receive the best portion.

Key #2: Work for God, not for money or your boss.
When we focus on serving God in every little thing we do — and we labor so that He will be glorified in our lives, versus money, achievement or accolades — then everything else falls into place. As Steven Curtis Chapman sings, “Whether you're flipping burgers or cooking up mergers, do it all for Him.” Sure, you won’t get it right all the time, but when you discover contentment in the fruits of your labors, no matter how meager or huge they may be, you will experience true joy and soul-deep peace. (See Colossians 3:23)

Key #3: Strive for humility.
If unbelief is the root of discontentment, then pride is its food and water. Pride can make a fledgling unbelief blossom into a full-grown thorn bush of discontentment, grumbling, and pessimism. “When you lay humility for your foundation, contentment will be the superstructure,” according to Watson. (See 1 Peter 5:6-7)

Key #4 Delight in the right things.
When we ask God to replace the desires of our hearts with His, we will be gradually transformed into vessels of joy and generosity, overflowing with satisfaction in our work, our relationships, and our financial situation. Meditate on Psalm 37:4 and discover real delight.

Key #5 Stay positive.
At first blush, this sounds like a cop-out, right? But Watson asks, “Who looks at the backside of a painting?” Instead, he admonishes us to focus on what’s beautiful, lovely, true, excellent, and praiseworthy. When we discipline our thought life, according to Philippians 4:8, the Biblical promise of transformation can occur.

Key #6 Don’t place your hope in people or things.
Everything in our culture today revolves around the idea of doing whatever it takes to make yourself happy. But happiness is a feeling, and contentment is a virtue. Happiness is temporary and contentment is a state of being that breeds peace and trust. When we look to people, things, jobs, circumstances, or money to make us happy, we will eventually be disappointed and even emptier than before. “The foundation of contentment must be within yourself. The word for contentment in Scripture signifies self-sufficiency,” Watson says. When you place your hope in God’s promises and direction, you will have strength and endurance from within. Psalm 33:20-22 encourages us to wait for God with patience and courage. When we let God bring the right things to us in His time, we find freedom from the slavery of envy and restlessness.

Key #7 Compare yourself to others the right way.
Comparing yourself to others is like walking on thin ice, you might fall through into a well of envy and end up drowning in discontentment. However, Watson encourages us to compare ourselves to others in light of Christ’s sacrifice and how He’s called us to honor and serve them as He would have. Jesus washed the disciple's feet, which was considered the lowliest act for the lowliest servant of the household. (See James 3:16)

Key #8 Adjust your perception.
In the field of public relations, there’s a common saying that perception is reality. That’s because we often believe what we think we see, and we see what we want to see. But within each of us there is an ability to change our perceptions, and with the power of the Holy Spirit, our vision can vastly improve over time. We can choose to see what we have versus what we don’t. We can choose to place a high value on spending time with friends versus spending money on the latest outfit. We can focus on things that bring glory to God, versus glory to ourselves. Watson says if we could cure our distorted, sin-trained perceptions, we would find the secret to conquering a discontented heart. (See Matthew 6:33, Romans 12:2)

Key #9 Meditate on the promise of heaven.
We are most tempted to be discontent at our extremes — when we are the happiest and when we are in the greatest discomfort. When everything is going well, we can be lulled into a false sense of security, and then entitlement, and eventually self-reliance. We don’t see our need for God because it is covered by all of our creature comforts. On the other hand, when nothing is going right, we can become despondent and fixated on everything we lack. And most of life is spent going between the two extremes. But when we place our “treasure in heaven,” as Matthew 6:19 says, our satisfaction comes from glorifying God in any circumstance. Paul said it best in Philippians 4:11-13, “In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance, and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."

Key #10 Pray… A LOT!
Back in the 1600s, physicians used a horrible medical treatment that makes me cringe. They would intentionally bleed patients thinking that the letting of blood would take the toxins with it. Although the practice is grim, I mention it to provide context for Watson’s statement that, “When the heart is filled with sorrow and disquiet, prayer lets out the bad blood. The key of a prayer oiled with tears unlocks the heart of all its discontents. It is the unburdening of the soul.” As we endeavor to find contentment deep in our hearts, prayer is the best medicine for a lifetime of soul satisfaction. When you spend a lot of time living in the King's throne room, your desire to wander the streets looking for trinkets vastly diminishes. (See 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

My fellow traveler on this road between birth and heaven, I have no idea what your root of discontentment might be. But, I do know this beyond a shadow of a doubt… We are called to rest in the waiting, not be restless in nervous anticipation of the unknown or the unreceived. Jesus gently urges us to rest in our heavenly Father’s best, not what our own minds tell us we need or want to be happy. May you be encouraged today that when you press into Him through the application of these 10 keys, you will find a respite from yourself and soul-level contentment in the arms of your Savior.

Five-Day Devotional Guide For Further Reflection and Daily Spiritual Journaling
The questions and readings below can be used for a single-day study or your daily quiet time throughout the week. Before you begin reading the passage for each day, spend some time asking God to open your heart to His truth and hearing His voice.

Day 1 - Read Philippians 4:11-13 several times in a few different versions of the Bible. What areas of your life are trouble zones for a lack of contentment? (i.e. eating, shopping, neighbor envy, relationships, etc.) What is God saying to you about changing your habits, perspectives, or behaviors related to these trouble zones?
Day 2 - The love of money is often at the root of discontentment. How has your desire for money, things, or a certain lifestyle fueled or impacted your contentment? Search for the topic of money using a digital Bible app or online Bible. What verses speak to you the most and why? Memorize and meditate upon the one that speaks to your heart the most.
Day 3 - Read Psalm 27:14. Think back on a time when you had to wait a long time on something to happen or a long-desired change to occur. How did God use the time of waiting to spur you to rest in Him and trust Him more?
Day 4 - Read Lamentations 3:24-26. God’s timing is always perfect, even though to us, it may seem as though He has forgotten us or doesn’t understand the depth of our desires and needs. When have you been impatient for God to open the door and how can you see why He didn’t bring it about sooner?
Day 5 - Which one of the 10 keys do you want to start working on today? Put together a plan to pray, study the Word, and create life boundaries around something specific to avoid temptation.

What do you think of today's message? Comment and share your thoughts on this post! And if God brought someone to mind as you read or listened, please encourage them by sharing this post today!

2 Comments

Glimmers in the Fog

The Incredible Impact of Being Ordinary

Is Jesus Trying to Empty Your Net?

Choosing Desire Over Duty

The Importance of Love-Infused Criticism

10 Keys to a Contented Heart

Search the Blog Archive

Categories

Archives

About Glimmers in the Fog

get glimmers in your inbox!