Love letters have long been revered as one of the most romantic ways of communicating feelings to the one held most dear. There is something so charming and enduring about setting ink to paper in order to pour out the strongest longings of the heart that virtually all cultures throughout history have practiced it in one form or another. From the first surreptitious note we pass to the cute classmate to the constant and often obtrusive texting of today’s modern romances, communicating in writing about love can be one of the most satisfying experiences the human heart can conceive.

In 1994 Johnny Cash sent a birthday letter to his wife June that has since been voted the greatest love letter of all time. Here is part of the short letter: We get old and get used to each other. We think alike. We read each other’s minds. We know what the other wants without asking. Sometimes we irritate each other a little bit. Maybe sometimes take each other for granted. But once in a while, like today, I meditate on it and realize how lucky I am to share my life with the greatest woman I ever met. You still fascinate and inspire me. You influence me for the better. You’re the object of my desire, the #1 Earthly reason for my existence. I love you very much.

Clearly, he was very satisfied with their relationship, finding much of life’s greatest meaning in their identity as a couple. In just a few sentences, Johnny manages to encapsulate five hallmarks of satisfying love. He begins by expressing undying gratitude and adoration, followed by an expression of inexhaustible interest, a willing submission to her influence, an unquenchable romantic desire, and finally, a closing declaration that she was his very reason for living. It’s that last one I find the most haunting, as Johnny did indeed quickly followed June — within just four months — when she passed away in May 2003. She was the center of his world, and while it’s medically debatable whether or not he died of a broken heart, it’s perhaps the heart-touching irony of his declaration that edged out other famous contenders in the love letter poll. The words he penned to his beloved, even beat out the literary heavyweights like Keats and Hemmingway.

As I thought about the way Johnny gave his whole heart to June despite their differences and shortcomings, I was once again reminded of a quote from Tim Keller about marriage and how God designed it to be a picture of His union with us and His sacrificial love for us. “To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.”

Like marriage is analogous to God’s commitment and love for us, when we look at the five hallmarks of satisfying love expressed in Johnny’s letter, we can also see parallels of them in Scripture, which is God’s love letter to humankind. In God's Word, we can find the most satisfying love on earth and also be assured of unending, perfect love throughout eternity.

A mutually adoring love. While we can never equal the greatness of God’s love within the bounds of our flawed humanity, a relationship with our Heavenly Father is all about mutual adoration. Zephaniah 3:17 says that God sings or rejoices over us. Over and over Scripture tells us that God loves us more than we can fathom (Ephesians 3:14-19) and that we were created to have a loving, intensely personal relationship with Him (John 14:23, 1 John 1:1-3). Jesus stated in Matthew 22:37 that the greatest commandment of all is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and soul.

An inexhaustible interest in each other. We are made in God’s image, so it should be no surprise that our relationship with Him should mirror those we have with each other. When two people no longer find each other fascinating, then the relationship usually dies. But God is keenly interested in us, to the point where He knows the number of hairs on our heads (Matthew 10:30-31) and exactly what we need in every area of our lives (Matthew 6:8). He has plans us for us since before we born (Jeremiah 29:11) and will stay intensely involved with us until He brings them to fruition (Philippians 1:6). As such, God asks us to seek Him, using all of our hearts, minds, and souls to know Him better. As long as we earnestly ask Him to reveal Himself to us, He will (Deuteronomy 4:29).

A willing submission to influence. In any earthly relationship, both people need to be open to the influence of the other. In his book The Meaning of Marriage, Tim Keller explains that marriage is God’s design for two people to help each other progress toward who they are meant to be in Christ.  “Friends become wiser together through a healthy clash of viewpoints. Like a surgeon, friends cut you in order to heal you.” In the same manner, the bride of Christ is to joyfully and fully surrender to God’s leading as He shapes us into our best for Him. Isaiah 64:8 says, “But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand.” Sometimes the molding is achieved through trials and other times change might be sparked by others close to us. But no matter what, we must be willing to let God guide, change, and mold us for His glory.

An unquenchable desire. God will go to any length to bring us closer to Him. In the parable of the lost sheep in Luke 15, Jesus said, “What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it?” Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” When we seek our greatest pleasure in Jesus, He will replace the desires of our heart with His.

A reason for living. Although Johnny declared that June was his reason for existence in the letter, he was very transparent about his faith in Jesus in the media and to his fans. In the early 1970s he and June began a close, enduring friendship with Billy and Ruth Graham. According to Mike Garrett, Johnny’s nephew, he began prioritizing his service to Billy’s crusades over his music career and concert tour, which is the number one way a musician earns a living. Jesus said in Luke 9:24, “For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.” It is only when we find our primary meaning in life in Jesus that we will be truly satisfied. Psalm 119:57-58 tells us that God should be our portion, which means the totality of what is good in life. The Matthew Henry commentary says portion means felicity, or our very happiness.

Valentine’s Day is certainly a reminder to check the allegiance of our hearts. And while most people only think of its romantic connotations, the Word of God reminds us that our earthly attachments should be not only reflections of His love, but the instruments through which we serve and glorify Him. It is only then that we can truly find the kind of love that both satisfies and heals. As CS Lewis said in his book The Four Loves, “You have not chosen one another, but I have chosen you for one another. In God there is no hunger that needs to be filled, only plenteousness [e.g. overwhelming abundance] that desires to give.”

Questions for Further Reflection

• How do your relationships reflect God’s love or not? As you pray over the ones who are closest to you, ask Him to reveal to you any ways in which your relationships need to be healthier. How can you help those that you care about on their journey to/with Jesus and to be more like Him?
• God asks for our whole heart. Read Romans 5:5, 2 Corinthians 5:14, Psalm 9:1, and Psalm 119:2 and Psalm 138. As you read these scriptures, ask Him if there are any corners of your heart that you are holding back from His sovereignty, healing, and love.
• If today’s message encouraged you in some way, please pause and ask God what He would have you do based on what you just read (or listened to). In addition to some action step or change on your part, ask Him who He’d like you to reach out today with this same message of hope. Whomever He lays on your heart, please don’t hesitate to begin praying for them immediately. You could also send them this blog post with a personal note encouraging them.

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Many people who come into our house notice that we have a large bowl full of keys on a bench by the front door. The amount and varied array of them looks kind of ridiculous at first glance. So most people laugh at the jumbled pile and ask with a wry smile, “Do you really know what each of them goes to?” They expect us to shrug our shoulders and confess that we don’t have any idea, so they usually look at us in surprise when we tell them that we actually do know. And, of course, we don’t just have one set of keys for most things. We have the extra valet keys for our cars, the spare house keys for occasional neighbor access, and a silly pile of luggage lock keys that probably needs to go. Regardless of their attached value, each one of those keys is a symbol of ownership ranging from the fairly unimportant and rarely used ones, like the small bike lock keys, to the most valuable things we possess, like our house, cars, and safe deposit box. In the world’s eyes, those keys mean that we own a lot of stuff. In God’s eyes, however, we don’t own a thing. Ownership of any kind in this life is only an optical illusion.

The word ownership is kind of like a chameleon. It can have a positive or negative connotation in just about any conversation. And that makes it especially hard to pin down when it comes to honoring God. Clearly, the Bible commands us to take ownership of our behavior and how we treat others. We are also supposed to work diligently, taking seriously our responsibility to honor God with the quality and excellence of what we do, whether it’s in our jobs, volunteering, or in ministry. But like so many other good character traits, our sense of ownership can become overblown if we’re not careful, fueling our pride and dragging us deep into religious legalism, worry, jealousy, or greed.

In the Bible’s vocabulary, the word ownership always refers to God as the landlord, the king, the master, or the vintner. While many believers understand that we belong to Christ and that everything we have is a blessing “on loan” from Him (1 Chronicles 29:11-12), it’s not uncommon for us to miss the deeper levels of what divine ownership really means. Because we are so visually driven, it’s easy to focus on what we physically have as gifts of God, such as our material possessions, health, careers, and even family members. But when we give Jesus the keys to our heart, He takes ownership lock, stock, and barrel… heart, mind, body, and soul. Most of us expect the heart and soul part, but we struggle more with the mind and body part.

As the landlord of our lives, Jesus also has ownership rights to every aspect of our mental and physical existence. While that fact can seem overwhelming, God’s intention for ownership is to bring us peace, joy, and hope, not restrictions, rules, or a rigorous sense of duty. Ownership for God isn’t just about having control, as we would think of it in human terms, but far more about loving provision, protection, and guidance.

This past week, God has been reminding me that He owns far more than my current existence, He also owns my future and everything that is to come. Therefore, anything I am working towards now — the projects I want to complete, any goals I’ve set, and the dreams I am chasing — those are all His to manage as well. Though I am called to work hard to achieve them, I do not have the ownership of — or even the responsibility for — the potential outcomes of them. In other words, if I am working on what God has asked me to do, then I am a servant following His direction. I am not the owner. God alone bears the burden of failure or success.

This is a radical nuance to God’s ownership with huge ramifications for anyone who leads, teaches, or manages anything — whether it be people, projects, or households. No matter what our tax filings indicate we own on this earth, God has the ultimate responsibility for growing and protecting what’s important. And all the planning, strategizing, contemplating, and preparation in the world won’t change the outcomes or produce success if it’s not His desire. So while He expects us to use our brains, talents, and skills to the fullest and with excellence (Colossians 3:23-24), He also asks us to do so with complete surrender and trust to His careful management. Proverbs 16:9 says, “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”

So how does this Biblical truth impact us in everyday life? Simply put, it means we must stop thinking like an owner… in everything. It means we should allow ourselves to rest, relax, and be still when we’re not supposed to be working or volunteering. Our minds can be at peace in the off hours because the Owner of all things is still at work. He’s minding the store when we’re not there. Practically speaking, if our thoughts are constantly embroiled in our responsibilities and to do lists, then we are not trusting God or obeying His command to rest. Psalm 127:2 says, “It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to His loved ones.”

This truth became especially real to me the other night. I was awake yet again around 2 a.m. with my mind whirring. Rather than being obviously worried about something, my mind was filled instead with all kinds of new ideas and new tasks related to a project. The problem didn’t seem to be the subject matter — it was the timing. So as I began praying for my mind to be still, God seemed to whisper to me, “Try asking Me why your mind is racing in the first place.” When I did, His answer surprised me. “You can’t sleep because you’re thinking like an owner. I am the Owner. Trust me with it all and sleep will come.” And it did.

As I was doing research for this post, I came across a fascinating article in Inc. magazine about a Christian-owned company in Colorado living out the principles of divine ownership. Bob Walker, the president of the company, said, “The first question that has to be settled is,'Who owns the business?’… Whatever He has given, He wants us to multiply.” The article then goes into great detail about the family’s faith in God to run their operations, including the startling decision to halt layoffs, risk further financial damage, and use staff downtime to give back to the community during one of their toughest years in business.

That’s real-world trust in the trenches and a shining example of what it really means to yield to the yoke of Christ in Matthew 11:28-30. Jesus said when we come to Him and let Him lead, we will find rest. Furthermore, according to Proverbs 3:24, Psalm 4:8, we can go to bed without fear and sleep soundly. But I think most of us view those pleasant-sounding verses as optional, rather than a requirement. We delude ourselves into believing that midnight hours spent thinking about our business, our ministries, our relationships, our parenting, etc., is productive. We cheat ourselves out of the abundant life Jesus promised us — and gave His own life for us to have — by convincing ourselves that excessive amounts of industriousness will honor God, ensure success, and prevent us from letting anyone down. But the Bible’s response to that is an indictment of lack. A lack of trust that God will take care of any details we miss or make up for any talents we don’t have. A lack of confidence that the plans of God are better than ours. A lack of humility that our worth and our level of success is only found in what God decides we should have. A lack of surrender to the life He wants us to have, versus the one we envision for ourselves.

When I arose the morning following my sleepless night, the Holy Spirit brought 2 Timothy 2:5 forward in my quiet time. “An athlete is not crowned unless he competes according to the rules.” Through that verse, it was clear God was telling me that the race He’s asked me to run has some rules, and they’re all based on trusting Him. When I allow God to be in control of my race, providing the gear I need, managing the conditions, and giving me the endurance, I am free to run the race without fear of failure. But if I insist on thinking like I’m the owner of my own race, I won’t even make it to the finish line.

Questions for Further Reflection

• Read the parable of the talents in Matthew 25:14-28. As you think about the three servants in the passage, imagine yourself in each of their shoes. What evidence of worry and misplaced thinking do you see in the third servant’s words and actions? How do the first two honor the Master as the clear owner?
• Christians are heirs with Christ. What is the difference between heirs and owners? What kind of inheritance will all believers receive according to 1 Peter 1:3-12?
• Evaluate how much time you spend thinking about work in some way, whether it’s work you are compensated for, volunteering, or managing tasks around the house. Pray and ask God to reveal to you the ways in which you are not trusting him to compensate for your weaknesses or lacking. In what ways is He challenging you to take more time to relax with your friends and family, spend time with Him, or just get more sleep?​

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Sometimes it takes a radical event to open our eyes to the obvious… to see what has been in front of us all along. Like a tree that blends into a summer landscape until it explodes with color in the autumn… or a small white candle that goes unnoticed on a windowsill until the power goes out and it becomes the only light in the house… some lessons from God only become visible to us when He allows something unexpected or life-altering to reshape our perspective or shift our focus. It might be the sudden absence of someone or the removal of something we depended on, but in any season of change, there will always be an element of surprise. No matter how much we attempt to plan, prepare, or anticipate, the one factor we can always count on is being surprised as a result of a change in our relationships, environment, or resources.

While most of us — given the choice — would decline the option to be surprised as a result of life changes, virtually every lesson in life is sparked by some element of surprise. After all, why would we ever be prompted to learn or pushed to grow if we aren’t jolted in some way out of the current status quo? Somehow we get this as kids. Just as we’re getting comfortable with our third-grade material, we are pushed awkwardly into the brave new world of fourth grade. But as adults, we’re often shocked when life pushes us into that next phase, the new job, the empty nest, the smaller home, or the funeral procession. We may have sensed it coming, but we’re blindsided regardless.

And when it arrives — whatever the change is — it brings with it a life lesson. It creates a series of defining moments and always presents us with a choice: we can pivot in trust toward hope or turn in fear toward bitterness. Trust will teach us the lesson and usher us into a new level of strength. Fear will blind us to the truth and force us to repeat the lesson again and again.

This past week, my family has been enduring the hardest change of them all — the passing of a loved one. And while our struggles, grief, and pain in the loss of my father have not come as a surprise, some of the lessons we are learning from his quiet, well-lived life have been unexpected. There was no doubt in any of our minds that he was a caring and tender man of integrity with a big heart. But the nature and extent of his consistent character and positive impact on so many came as a surprise in the kind of way that forces anyone who knew him to take stock of their own lives.

While I could fill pages and pages with good things about Dad, one overarching lesson from his life keeps coming to my mind over and over as I ponder all the things that were said by people who attended either the visitation or the funeral service: he had a dramatic impact on many lives without creating any fanfare, ruffling others’ feathers, or receiving grandiose notoriety. Yet everything he stood for in his quiet manner of living, loving, and serving was counter-cultural because it was all clothed in humility, delivered with a joyful spirit, and done out of love for others.

Here are just a few of the many lessons emerging from Dad’s life, most of which fly in the face of how we live today in modern society. And I think I’m just seeing the tip of the iceberg of all that he will be continuing to teach me for years to come.

• Companionship is a means of healing and restoration. My Dad loved a good conversation, but he also knew that taking the time to just be with someone could often heal deep wounds far better than words. I heard stories from people of how my father invited them to go to a baseball game or play cribbage at their greatest time of need or pain. Even with people he didn’t know that well. He didn’t try to tell them how to heal, recommend any self-help books, or encourage them to pull themselves up by their bootstraps. Instead, he simply spent time with them, and gently walked alongside them over weeks or months, knowing that sometimes the best way to progress through the healing process is with a friend who has no agenda, no artificial limits, and no ulterior motives.
• Everything. Is. Personal. In Dad’s world, every conversation and interaction with someone was personal, even in business. He talked with someone like he or she was the only person in the room, even at a crowded party. He asked meaningful questions that revealed people’s passions for life, happiest moments, or most cherished relationships. He was never the life of the party, but he was always the guy you’d end up talking to all night because he made you feel so good about yourself. A note written with intention on a carefully chosen greeting card was very important to him to provide encouragement at just the right time or commemorate a special moment. Dad had a special way of giving people his full attention, even when his schedule or stress load was already full.
• A contented heart focuses on others; a complaining heart erodes the soul. To the final end, Dad never complained about anything. Really. No matter how he felt or what he was going through, he squeezed out joy in every opportunity he had with others by focusing on them and what was going on in their lives, versus himself. No discomfort he had or disappointment he faced seemed to deter him from receiving all the good that life had to offer in that moment, no matter how small or inconsequential it would seem to you or me. He simply didn’t see any value in complaining. To fall back on one of my favorite childhood stories that he used to read to me at bedtime, in a world of Eeyores, Dad remained steadfastly a Winnie the Pooh. As a result, he created great joy for everyone who spent time with him. Even toward the end when he couldn’t say much at all, he somehow emanated joy. His caregivers wanted to serve him, his friends continued to be drawn to him, and his family looked forward to seeing the undaunted twinkle in his eyes.

In a world that is becoming more and more time-starved, high-pressured, and completely impersonal, Dad embodied a steadfast, but gentle resistance against the cultural grain. Our society usually puts people on pedestals who stand up for what they believe in with booming voices, shocking behavior, or attention-getting stunts. But Dad’s unwavering and consistent behavior was proof that true heroes don’t have to be seen on a grand stage to be known and loved deeply in the heart. His memorial service had standing room only on a dreary, cold day. Friends of mine who had never met him told me over and over, “Wow. After all I’ve heard, I really wish I could’ve met him. What an incredible person he must’ve been.” Yes, many lives will be different now, but Dad would’ve wanted us all to continue bravely, squeezing out any possibility of joy in every moment that is to come. I have no doubt that changes shook my Dad, and he was certainly known to worry about them coming. But once changes arrived, he rode them out like a champ.

Changes of any kind can come like an earthquake turning everything upside down at once. Or, they can come in like waves before a storm, rising and rising until one day we feel engulfed. The biggest struggle for most people with the changes of life is the worrisome belief that the surprises will all be negative, scary, or damaging in nature. When in reality, God has known about them all along and has established a plan before we were even born to walk with us in times of change and hardship, strengthening our faith, and eventually correcting our vision so that we see life’s events through the eyes of faith and not by sight. Little by little, as we lean into Him, He whispers to our souls and encourages us to look beyond our immediate human perspective through the lens of trust. As we learn to see life this way, the path before us may not always be obvious, but our next step will always be illuminated by hope and not fear. That’s because we can place our trust in a God who does not change (Malachi 3:6, James 1:17). Scripture describes Him as a rock, a fortress, an ever-present help in times of trouble. Deuteronomy 31:8 says, “It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” Trusting this way takes time to cultivate, but as Dad’s life demonstrated, each change we endure offers ample opportunities to rehearse this principle over and over. Like players on the field of life, we get better every time we swing the bat and run the bases. And while he wasn’t perfect, Dad’s life clearly demonstrates that he never missed a practice.

Questions for Further Reflection

• What kinds of changes do you fear the most? Why do you suppose that is? Do you find yourself assuming that surprises will always be negative?
• In what areas of your life are you most likely to experience discontentment or worry? Is there a link between those areas and the kinds of changes you fear?
• Explore the roots of your fears and lack of contentment with God in prayer and search the Scriptures for a passage that specifically addresses it. Once you find a verse that speaks to you, commit to memorizing it and praying it back to God.
• To explore more about cultivating a contented heart, you may be interested in this blog post: 10 Rules to Live By for a Contented Heart.

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So here we are… the day after Christmas. Sigh. Thankfully the frantic preparation is over, but so is the joyous anticipation and celebration. All that work and build-up, yet for all the effort it seems to fly by so quickly and the New Year is just around the corner, beckoning us with its own set of expectations. But before we just move on to the next thing, it’s always good to appreciate where we’ve been. And as I’ve done for so many years, when the rush passes and the stillness of night closes in, I take a few minutes alone to relive the best moments, thank God for the gifts that can’t be bought at any price, and ponder what it must’ve been like to worship the great I AM in the form of an innocent babe.

In addition to such lofty thoughts, I almost always wonder about something else as Christmas comes to a close and I start thinking about putting away decorations. This year, however, one of the greatest mysteries I have always puzzled over during the holidays has been solved. What is this great enigma? I have always wondered why Christmas became the gargantuan month-long and widely celebrated holiday that it is. While Easter, which is theologically much more significant, gets such little attention in comparison. Certainly church congregations all over the world offer special Easter services, but the recognition and celebration of the most important moment in human history — the defeat of death itself through the resurrection of Jesus — gets relatively minor attention, even from ardent believers, when viewed in light of the effort, preparation, and hugely visible displays of joy associated with Christmas.

If you’ve always been curious about this cosmic conundrum and haven’t heard the reason why, I am thrilled to shed some light on the subject. But let me warn you, after many decades of speculation about this, I am not sure the real answer to the question will live up to your expectations. I certainly imagined a much grander, less prosaic reason than this… Are you ready? A writer did it. That’s right, a novelist changed how all of humankind celebrates the two biggest religious holidays of the year. Charles Dickens single-handedly tilted the world with a few strokes of a pen when he published A Christmas Carol back in 1844. Prior to that time, recorded history shows that Christmas and Easter were celebrated at almost the same level among the general populations of the Western World. But when Dickens crafted one of the most compelling and universally appealing stories of transformative hope and redemption and then wrapped it up with a Christmas bow, people everywhere were hooked. Almost overnight everyone envisioned a crescendo of miracles taking place in the coldest of human hearts on one of the coldest days of the year. And that was it. The world needed some warmth during the darkest days. So the magical formula was born — a combination of faith, folklore, celebration, generosity, moral goodness, traditions, and a little bit of magic all came together to enrapture the hearts and minds of Victorian-period Brits, who pretty much dominated or influenced a good chunk of the world at that time.

So, there you have it. But don’t despair if the explanation — or the day after Christmas — is a letdown. There’s something more about Dickens’ story that makes it so much bigger and grander than we often realize. In the same way that the Christmas holiday eclipses Easter in terms of scale and notoriety, the after-effects of Scrooge’s transformation are often just as overlooked. A Christmas Carol may end with old Ebenezer partying it up with his estranged friends and family, but Dickens brilliantly reminds us that the real story is just beginning. “He became as good a friend, as good a master, as good a man as the good old city knew, or any other good old city, town, or borough in the good old world,” Dickens wrote at the end.

In many ways, like the Christmas story, Dickens’ bestselling novel is more like a backstory or a prequel to the greatest narrative ever told — the rewriting of the human heart. Lives are changed when sacrificial love enters the scene. The real story happens when Scrooge forever impacts the lives of Tiny Tim, his nephew Fred, and the countless others who would now benefit from a transformed and generous heart. The day after the greatness of the miraculous birth of Jesus is likewise just the beginning. From the moment Jesus enters the scene, the world as people knew it started shifting and His love hasn’t stopped changing humanity throughout the ages.

Every time I’ve read or watched A Christmas Carol, I hear and feel God’s truth about the human condition, our depravity, and the miraculous power of love to transform even the coldest heart. But the difference between Dickens’ classic and the truth is that the human soul doesn’t need a frightening visit by three ghosts to change its ways and then change the world. It just needs to offer permanent residence to one Spirit — the Spirit of Jesus. And I think Dickens’ believed that as well because Scrooge visits a church the morning after his transformation, indicating not only his gratitude but also his acknowledgment that he needed the help of God to follow through on his sudden desire to care about something other than himself. If Scrooge had been a real guy, he must have been thinking to himself that morning after, “Now what? How do I act on these newfound convictions and my change of heart?”

And so, we sit here on the day after greatness. We’ve celebrated the coming of the King, but now what? What will we act on? How are we changed? And perhaps you’re wondering how something we celebrate every year could still seem fresh? How can something so familiar still have a new impact? I think the answer depends entirely on your perspective. Tomorrow will not be the same as today. If you’re really willing to see the differences, each day brings new opportunities to love God and serve others. Scrooge spent most of his life never really seeing the hurt and pain in the lives of others, yet it was still there. His life changed when his eyes were opened. When we realize that the Christmas we’ve just experienced cannot be repeated ever again, we’ll cherish the memories more. When we realize each day contains new mercies and new opportunities from God if we’re looking for them, we’ll impact the lives of others more.

2 Corinthians 5:17 promises us a fresh start every single day, which makes the idea of New Year’s resolutions seem a bit silly. The verse says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” When that verse is taken in context with the rest of the Bible, it means we are a work in progress. We are being continually made new. The problem is that we don’t often live like a new creation. We live as though we’re trapped in old tradition, familiar ways, and bound by the decisions of our past. Yet, Jesus makes it clear that we are to live like Scrooge on the first morning after his transformation — grateful, renewed, and highly motivated. He tells us in John 10:10b: “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”

Following the harrowing visit from the final ghost, one of the most obvious features of Scrooge’s transformation is his breakthrough laughter after he realizes he is alive and has a second chance. He then resolved to “keep Christmas in his heart” the whole year through. And through the power of Jesus, we can do the same. Psalm 16:11 says, “You make known to me the path of life. In your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”

As 2018 comes to close, those who know the King of Christmas in their hearts will carry Him beyond the lights, the decorations, and the manger. There’s no question that His spirit dwells with us in any season, during any situation. What is a question, however, is if we’ll see Him in the monotony of long work days or hear Him whisper in the darkness of difficult trials. We cannot exhaust His newness anymore than we can reach the end of His love for us. The resolution we should keep has nothing to do with a new year but has everything to do with the daily renewal of love for Jesus in our hearts. When we’re committed to that, every day has the potential for greatness.

Glimmers in the Fog will be on vacation next week! I wish you a healthy, happy New Year and hope that you join me for the next blog post on January 9th, 2019!
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Questions for Further Reflection

• As you think about the new year, what are some ways you would like to shift your perspective or attitude toward either people or tasks? Jot down any names or things you sense God leading you to approach differently and make a point to start praying over them before you have to deal with them again.
• When you approach God in prayer, do you find that certain things you say are repetitive? What aspects of worshipping the Lord have become routine? Commit those to Him in prayer and ask the Holy Spirit to teach you how to approach the throne with renewed vigor and wonder every day. Ask Him to reveal to you how His mercies are new every morning and uniquely tailored to only you.
• If you haven’t watched A Christmas Carol yet this season, make time to watch it again and specifically look for glimpses of God’s truth woven into the story.

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One of my favorite Christmas movies is The Family Man with Nicholas Cage and Téa Leoni. For those of you who aren’t familiar with it or haven’t seen it in a long time, here’s the basic premise of the film. A very successful and wealthy Wall Street executive (named Jack) goes to sleep one night in his own bed but mysteriously wakes up the next morning as himself but in a different house with a dramatically different life. He goes from being a single, career-driven city-dweller with so much wealth that he can buy whatever he wants to a married father of two living very modestly in the suburbs. One minute Jack is the CEO over a huge company with sweeping international influence and the next moment he is a salesman in his father-in-law’s tire store. At first, he is terrified and hates leaving behind his lavish lifestyle, but once he experiences what true love feels like from a devoted wife and two adoring kids, he realizes that his priorities and desires have been all wrong.

Every time I watch this movie, which admittedly is almost every year, I’m always freshly fascinated by what Jack is willing to give up at the end of the film. Spoiler alert: Unlike many Christmas “fantasy” movies, Jack doesn’t miraculously get what he wants at the end of the film. The real miracle of the story is the transformation of Jack’s heart to the point where he desperately desires sacrificial love over power, prestige, and all the money he could ever want. Giving up himself for the benefit of others becomes more appealing to him than receiving all that his old lifestyle had to offer.

I’m sure the Hollywood writers didn’t set out to illustrate Psalm 37:4 when they crafted The Family Man script, but the truth of that verse swirls in my mind over and over when I think about Jack’s choices. “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Jack’s self-centered, self-pleasing choices were transformed by receiving sacrificial love. What a perfect Christmas message to ponder when thinking of what Jesus offers us, starting with the manger in a dank, dirty stable. While there is no movie, novel, or analogy that could truly help us grasp the kind of love that would compel a king to give up his splendor in order to wrap himself in the rags of common humanity, this story comes pretty close. In his wealthy life, Jack only let the finest Italian suits touch his exceedingly toned and pampered body. In the glimpse he was given as a father, Jack was rapidly developing a “dad bod” and wore a cotton-poly blend sales shirt with his name embroidered on the left pocket. I’m sure you get the picture. The dad version of Jack working at the tire store couldn’t afford a tailored suit (there’s a poignant scene about that in the movie), nor a gym membership, much less have the time for it.

But now try to imagine what Jack gave up on a much, much grander scale… a heavenly scale. One minute Jesus was walking on streets of gold and the next he was beginning a long journey on a dusty road to a destination called Calvary. Since before time began, He had been dwelling in endless perfection and unfathomable beauty, and He chose to subject Himself to abject poverty in unrelentingly harsh conditions. Most shockingly, He chose sacrificial love to the point of death over inexhaustible pleasure in the presence of God the Father. As Hebrews 12:2 puts it, He chose to suffer beyond anything you and I could possibly fathom for the “joy that was set before Him.”

But that’s because the joy that Jesus was focused on, is vastly more than we can possibly fathom. And what’s even more astounding is the faith, belief and trust in His Father that Jesus demonstrated while He was enduring the difficulty of his time — and eventually His brutal death — here on earth. Jesus knew the joy that waited on the other side of the cross and triumphant resurrection — was us. You and me. We are His joy. He lived and died solely that our union of joy might be complete in the Father. Being with us forever and abiding with us here in our hearts was worth everything He had to give for us. In John 15:10-11 Jesus said, “If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.” This concept is repeated in 1 John 1:3-5 where it says that the message of Jesus was given so that our joy may be complete.

As a king on Wall Street, Jack could’ve never imagined changing a stinky diaper in the wee hours of the morning, yet he eventually came to realize that all the sacrifices and discomfort of being a father were worth it for the joy of loving his children. Even more so, imagine the love our Heavenly Father lavishes upon us, His children, through the birth and eventual sacrifice of Jesus. The Apostle Paul said in Ephesians 3:15-21 that when we offer Jesus a home in our hearts and learn to trust Him, He empowers us to not only grasp how long, how high, and how deep God’s love is, but to also share that love with others at a level that will exceed our wildest dreams and expectations. When we allow the Spirit of Christ to complete His work in us, we become Christmas miracles ourselves.

A week from today Christmas will be over. But after the torn wrapping paper is wadded up and tossed in the recycle bin… after the last bit of ham is eaten… and after the last house guest goes home, will you and I remain unchanged? Will there be anything different about us other than a few additional pounds that need to be run off on the treadmill after New Years? My blog post for next week is already written and it’s entitled “The Day After Greatness,” and ironically, God laid it on my heart to write it before today’s post. I think that’s because He wanted to remind me that the big events, the holidays, the mile markers of our lives, are not destinations in themselves. They are steps on a journey with Him and none of them is without purpose. None of them is a carbon copy of the last one that requires us to only go through the motions. Absolutely none of them is ordinary unless we allow them to be. When we take the time to honor, celebrate, and meditate upon the birth of sacrificial love, we cannot help but to be changed — no matter how many times we think we’ve done it before. John 1 tells us that the Word became flesh in a manger so that the Word could one day live in us. The Word is God. The Word is Jesus full of grace and truth. Scripture is the God-breathed Word that gives us life. The Word is alive in us. If you haven’t already, read John 1:1-17 again several times. Read it aloud. Read it in several different versions, like The Message. Ask the Word to fall fresh upon you this Christmas and then rest. Really rest. Breathe and let yourself receive the joy, awe, and wonder of what only Jesus can bring.

Questions for Further Reflection

• In what ways do you think happiness differs from the kind of joy Jesus came to make complete in us? What do you think God might be prompting you to change in order to experience this kind of joy?
• How have you seen God change the desires of someone’s heart in miraculous ways? What desires in your heart do you wish He would change? Are there any that you are not willing to release if He asked you to give them up? In what ways can you delight in Him this holiday season?
• Ponder how John 1 defines what the Word is. What aspects of its description confuses you? Encourages you? Make a few notes about your reaction to reading that passage and spend time in prayer asking God to help you grasp how long, how high, and how deep His love is for you.​

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As the last of the autumn leaves fall and Thanksgiving fast approaches I start thinking about Christmas movies. There is about a dozen I watch almost every year without fail. Just as holiday music warms up the chilly days, I can’t imagine December evenings without these timeless stories. As I pondered which one I would watch first after Thanksgiving, I realized they all seemed to have a common theme, and it wasn’t what I expected. It wasn’t believing in magic or miracles, finding true love, having a cheerful spirit, or even learning to be kind to others. All of those important reminders are present in many of the movies, but one truth spoke loudly and clearly above all else — a transformative surge of thankfulness always precedes an explosion of Christmas joy.

Regardless of the genre — from musicals to comedies — or the era in which the movie was produced, the main character’s problem is always solved once he or she comes to an intensely humbling realization of gratitude. Just take a look at these famous storylines:

• The Grinch hates the inhabitants of Whoville, their noisy traditions, and their festive spirits. But when the entire village bursts into a joyous celebration fueled by an infectious gratitude for each other despite losing everything else, the Grinch’s cold attitude is melted forever and he is flooded by thankfulness himself.
• George Bailey has had a hard life. He gave up his dreams to sacrifice for everyone else and now he’s having a pity party. When an angel gives him a glimpse of what the world would be like without him, George is overwhelmed with gratitude for the life he’s been given, his friends, and his family.
• Ebenezer Scrooge is a self-centered, bitter, and greedy businessman. When three ghosts show him that his life has no life in it at all, he is brought to his knees with appreciation and begins living abundantly by serving others.
• When eight-year-old Kevin has had enough of his large family and being picked on, he wishes that they would all go away and leave him alone. He gets his wish, but in the process learns to be thankful for his big, imperfect family after all.
• Clark Griswold just wants a pool in the backyard. But when his boss destroys his dreams by withholding Clark's Christmas bonus, desperation pushes him to the brink of stupidity. On the verge of losing everything he thought mattered most, Clark is overcome with gratitude when he realizes all the blessings that truly matter.

Discovering gratitude is the key that unlocks the door to joy because of what is required by its transformative work. Being truly thankful for something or someone requires the humility to acknowledge that we don’t deserve the amazing blessing of whatever it is. Genuine thankfulness also requires self-forgetfulness. We cannot fully appreciate a blessing without letting go of our own self-interest and self-absorption. As long as we are more interested in ourselves, our personal welfare, and our own problems, we will never be able to even see the blessings that flood our lives every second of the day.

Authentic, deeply felt gratitude also requires vulnerability and meaningful connection. And while these factors are closely related to self-centeredness, they often elude us because of pride. No one likes to appear weak, needy, or less than perfect, so our pride prevents us from seeing the value in being vulnerable with the people who love us the most. Sometimes it even prevents us from forming relationships at all. We don’t want to risk getting hurt or rejected, so we don’t reach out or take the time to have a conversation with a stranger. And to numb the gaping void in our hearts, we tell ourselves that we don’t need someone or that they don’t care about us anyway.

Sure, movies are generally unrealistic and our inner cynics might be tempted to utter, “Bah-humbug,” under the weight of holiday chores, pushy crowds of shoppers, commercialism, and whatever other problems are going on in our lives. But the fact that gratitude paves the way to joy is undeniable, and I believe God specifically designed it that way. While the plot lines I mentioned don’t lead any of the characters to God directly, they all point to truth. They all pave a path in the heart to be humbled, thankful, and more open to receiving the ultimate gift at Christmastime — the Christ child. Having a spirit of thankfulness is a prerequisite for realizing that we all need the gift of Jesus. Gratitude generates warmth, pliability, and tenderness. Without it, a heart can grow colder and more cynical with each passing year of trials, rejection, and disappointments. Eventually, it can become as frigid and impenetrable as an icy windowpane, forever seeing life through a cold lens of hopelessness, bitterness, isolation, and no longer able to warm to the touch of another or feel the movement of the Spirit.

The sense of urgency that infuses most Christmas stories makes their storylines even more powerful. The main character needs to be saved by gratitude, a.k.a. the Christmas spirit, before it’s too late. Time and time again, a rush of gratitude at the last moment pulls him or her from the brink of disaster and reveals a new way forward. As believers in Jesus, the holiday season presents us with that same urgent reminder. And Thanksgiving is the first step in tenderizing the heart for the days ahead and announcing to the world that the clock has begun ticking down toward the greatest gift we will ever receive. If Thanksgiving were a person, I think it would be John the Baptist. He would stand on the doorsteps of our hearts and proclaim at the top of his lungs, “Prepare the way for the Lord, make straight paths for Him.” (Matthew 3:1-11) In other words, “Take the time to prepare your hearts for Jesus. Start right now by being thankful for the abundant blessings of God that flood your life on a daily basis. Open your eyes to see God’s goodness so that you will be able to see the Truth when He arrives.”

Randy Alcorn says in his book God’s Promises of Happiness, “God isn’t just in life’s monumental moments. He’s present in raindrops, in the artistry of spiderwebs, the sound of an acoustic guitar… a child’s laugh … a dog’s wagging tail… If we disregard these and thousands of other gifts, we don’t just fail to notice them, we fail to notice God.”

As Bing Crosby so famously crooned in White Christmas,
“When I'm worried and I can't sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep
And I fall asleep counting my blessings.
When my bankroll is getting small
I think of when I had none at all
And I fall asleep counting my blessings.”

It’s as timely of a reminder today as it was when the movie debuted in 1954 — no matter what the holiday season brings this year or what state you find yourself in, your heart will find joy and peace in the act of being thankful. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” Philippians 4:6 also makes it clear that thanksgiving to God precedes the gift of peace. Everyone talks about peace during the holidays, but few people practice what is needed to truly experience it.

Memorializing Thanksgiving Day by expressing gratitude to those sitting around the table is common, and formally thanking God before diving into the endless food is generally accepted even in families that don’t regularly pray together. But this holiday is capable of being so much more than a fleeting moment of appreciation or a ritualistic prayer. It offers us a spiritual doorway to the Advent season, not so unlike the magical portal in the movie The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. It beckons us to warm our cynical minds and weary souls by the fire of gratitude and make our hearts a ready home for the coming King.

Wishing you and yours a beautiful and soul-stirring Thanksgiving!
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Patience is not in the Book of Virtues. Literally. When a reader of my blog recently asked me to write about patience, the first thing that came to my mind was the old adage “patience is a virtue.” But when I pulled out my copy of William J. Bennett’s brilliant compilation of writings on ten timeless virtues, patience — to my surprise — was not one of them. 

Searching the internet to find Mr. Bennett’s rationale behind leaving out the most commonly referenced virtue of them all yielded nothing. Not a single clue regarding its mysterious absence. So I began to speculate why he left it out, and eventually landed on this conclusion: patience is more like a skill than a virtue. Like a trusty, well-used tool, deeply refined patience is the key to unlocking many other virtues. For example, without patience, it’s not possible to fully generate the virtues of compassion, self-discipline, loyalty, and perseverance. (All of those are in Mr. Bennett’s book, by the way.) Sure, we may show trace amounts of these virtues, but they will never completely bloom to have the impact we desire unless we have acquired and practiced the primary skill of patience.

Patience, however, is not a simple tool. Rather it is a complex, multi-use instrument, more like a pocketknife than a hammer or scissors. The patience required while sitting in heavy traffic with a sea of rude drivers is very different from the kind of patience needed while waiting on a dream to come true. Because I have recently written about growing through seasons of waiting (see this post), my focus here will be on the art of mustering patience with frustrating people and irritating situations. But, of course, learning how to have patience in this arena will help anyone exhibit more of it in the many other aspects of life.

Learning to gracefully and compassionately manage our daily frustrations with life and with people — both the ones we love and the ones we can’t imagine loving — is a rapidly dwindling skill in today’s digitally driven culture of instant gratification. According to the Pew Research Center people under the age of 35 have far less patience than previous generations, largely driven by our “hyperconnected” society and its emphasis on immediate satisfaction. Since I am well beyond that under-35 bracket and struggle mightily with patience, these kinds of research reports seem especially alarming.

But regardless of our society’s normalization and increasing promotion of instant gratification, the ability to practice patience is worth fighting for, now more than ever. And the very first step in that fight is to change our very flawed and highly negative perception that cultivating patience is an unpleasant and arduous endeavor. To be blunt: we need to stop thinking about patience as if it is a pain in the butt. When in fact, the process of patience itself is a treasure hunt for the truth accompanied by an invitation from God.

To explain that statement, consider this powerful example from the art world. Harvard art historian and professor, Jennifer L. Roberts, has a brilliant requirement for all of her students. Before they begin writing a research paper on a particular piece of art, they are required to go see it in a museum or gallery and observe it for three hours straight. That’s right, they have to stay in one place for three hours and gaze at the painting or sculpture. She said in an article, “The time span is explicitly designed to seem excessive … At first many of the students resist being subjected to such a remedial exercise. But after doing the assignment, students repeatedly tell me that they have been astonished by the potentials this process unlocked. It is commonly assumed that vision is immediate. It seems direct, uncomplicated, and instantaneous—which is why it has arguably become the master sense for the delivery of information in the contemporary technological world. But what students learn in a visceral way in this assignment is that in any work of art there are details and orders and relationships that take time to perceive. What this exercise shows students is that just because you have looked at something doesn’t mean that you have seen it.” The article entitled “The Power of Patience” is so fascinating, I encourage you to read it in full.

So instead of viewing patience as something that requires waiting, we would do much better to value it as a means to see truth and then react with grace and love. That’s the invitation extended to us every day, whether we’re fighting irritation in traffic or struggling to be patient with a stubborn child. Patience is not at all about learning to kill time with a pleasant demeanor, it is about learning and then reacting with compassion to the truth that is revealed.

Like the art history requirement, imagine if you had to sit at a stoplight for three hours. What would you see? Well, you’d see nothing if you let frustration, anger, and resentment cloud your vision. But if you approached it as a way of seeing the truth with an invitation, you might notice the homeless person standing on the corner. With three hours at the light, would you look into her eyes and venture to have a conversation with her? You might also notice the old man in the car next to you and the deep lines of sadness across his leathery face. Would you roll down the window and ask how he’s doing? What about the punk young adult in the lowrider blaring loud music behind you? Instead of being angry that he’s been riding your bumper for the last five miles and assuming that he would cut you off given the chance, would you get out of your vehicle and ask him what his big dreams are? What would you notice at the stoplight if you had to be there for three hours?

Josiah Royce, the American philosopher, said more than a century ago, “What is then thy neighbor? [Your neighbor] is a mass of states, of experiences, thoughts, and desires, just as real as thou art. Does thou believe this? Are thou sure what it means? This is for thee, the turning point of thy whole conduct towards him.” Belief is required for the cultivation of patience. Whether someone is an atheist or deeply spiritual, believing that there is always a greater truth or another layer to be revealed about someone or a situation is required for anyone to have patience. A casual glance or a quick assessment will never reveal what’s really going on in someone’s life or in a situation, so at the pace life moves, why do we assume the worst and get irritated? Hanging out at a traffic light for three hours isn’t likely to happen, but believing that there is always more than meets the eye will allow us to practice patience and extend grace in situations that on the surface seem to be wholly negative. The old man who’s been driving painfully slow hasn’t heard from his daughter in ten years. The punk kid with the loud music has been told repeatedly that he’s worthless. The homeless lady is a victim of human trafficking and the only way she knows how to survive without turning tricks is to beg for money.

Christians believe that our journey here on earth is to prepare us for eternity with God. So if that is the case, then how does patience cultivated here relate to heaven, where we will have perfect conditions and an endless amount of time? Besides the fact that the Bible commands us to develop patience, I think it has everything to do with taking the time to see the truth in order that we may extend the compassion of Jesus. Being patient with those who need mercy (and we all do!) will help them see the truth of a loving God in our actions. By accepting God’s invitation nestled within every challenging moment, we are living out 1 Thessalonians 5:14 which encourages us to be patient with everyone — not just those who deserve it.

Practicing patience isn’t only good for those we encounter, it’s also good for us. Sitting in front of artwork for three hours is difficult, but paintings are inanimate objects. They don’t have audible voices like screaming children. They don’t have the ability to move like an angry driver cutting you off. They don’t have selfish desires like a co-worker who steals the credit for your job well done. Enduring three hours in a meeting with an irritating person requires an entirely different level of endurance, especially when it is so easy to be blinded by their actions and attitudes. And this is why developing patience and learning to extend compassion is good for us — because we must rely on the strength, wisdom and love of Christ working through us to do so. Loving difficult people and enduring frustrating situations with grace teaches our spirits to abide with Jesus more and more each day. Colossians 1:10b -12 says, “All the while, you will grow as you learn to know God better and better. We also pray that you will be strengthened with all His glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need. May you be filled with joy, always thanking the Father. He has enabled you to share in the inheritance that belongs to His people, who live in the light.”

Jesus saw through the exterior demeanor and behaviors of frustrating people and instead looked into their hearts. He saw the truth of difficult situations and knew what the final outcomes would be. What Jesus was able to see immediately, it may take us hours, days, or even years to see. But no matter how long it takes, we’ll never see any of it if we don’t believe He has a plan for all of it in the first place. Impatience is a blinding weakness that relies on external circumstances to make us feel content, happy, or calm. Patience is yielding that weakness to the power of Christ and allowing Him to make us content, joyful and calm by being vessels for His glory, instruments of His love, and pictures of His gentle peace. 
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It can manifest itself in hundreds, if not thousands, of forms. It can change multiple times a day or persist throughout a lifetime. You might have a handful of them, a single overriding one, or many similar ones. But no matter which ones you have, every single one of them starts with the same potential — to glorify God, or grow out of control into sin, or linger somewhere in between. 

What is it? The innate desire within us to seek. To hunt. To discover. To chase. From bargain hunters and storm chasers to avid collectors and adrenaline junkies, we are biologically wired and rewarded by the chemicals in our brains to seek out something or someone on a daily basis. It doesn’t matter if it’s a small, seemingly inconsequential quest, such as digging through a bargain bin of DVDs, or a life-long passionate pursuit to discover the cure for a disease, science confirms that almost every waking moment of our lives is dominated by a seeking-oriented task. And when we seek anything — truly anything — research has proven that our brains release at least one of four chemicals in the seeking process, whether it takes 30 seconds or thirty days to be fulfilled. 

Every time we seek something, our brains release dopamine once we attain it. Dopamine is what makes us feel good when we get a reward that meets our needs. If you need the weather report, a tiny amount of dopamine is released once you tap the app on your smartphone and find your forecast. Wow, so doesn’t this explain our smartphone addictions? Since it feels good to search and be rewarded, we often feel subconsciously     driven to search on our smartphones for that next hit of dopamine.

The bigger and longer the search, the greater the dopamine reward when it concludes. If you’ve been seeking the love of your life for 20 years, a huge amount of dopamine is released once you think you’ve found him or her. And here’s the bummer about this chemical and why it drives us so crazy: if we cannot get what we seek, the brain will drive us to pursue it until we do. So, depending on how much you’ve longed for something, you may or may not be able to give up the quest easily or without significant frustration. Again, this explains we get so inexplicably mad when our smartphones fail to produce what we’re searching for.

The other chemicals that may be released, depending on the type of quest, level of risk involved, and value of the reward, are just as much double-edged swords. Just like dopamine, these chemicals motivate us to repeat the behavior in order to feel good. Serotonin gives you a validating feeling when you receive admiration and respect from others. So if the acquisition of whatever you’re seeking is recognized by people you care about, you’ll feel even more gratified. Oxytocin is released when we do something that makes us feel like we belong to a group or experience safety in numbers. Lastly, adrenaline is the rush we feel during a quest that provides a significant thrill. 

Without these chemicals, we wouldn’t be biologically motivated to do anything. Our brains are designed to stimulate these chemicals to spur us into action and get our needs met— from basic survival to advanced intellectual passions. In the process, we learn new skills, achieve something, and hopefully perform with excellence, which in turn makes us feel good enough to try even harder next time. Psalm 139:14 reassures us that no matter what our biology, we were designed for — and capable of — glorifying God when we submit to His leadership of our lives. "I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well."

So if God designed our biology, then we can believe He has a plan for using it for His glory. But before we look at the spiritual prescription for keeping our desire to seek under His control, let’s look at the reasons why it can go awry or out of control in the first place. John 8:31-32 says, "So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, ‘If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free’.” The more we get to know Jesus and dwell on the truth found only in Him through the Word, the more our eyes will be opened to the reality of our motivations, desires, and hearts. If we want to tame our desire to seek, then we must view it through the lens of truth, shaped by Jesus. 

Seeking is so innate, so natural, that we usually don’t think about it, until a specific quest latches on to our hearts and minds in an unhealthy way and starts causing problems in our jobs, financial health, relationships, daily productivity, etc. Research has identified the primary psychological reasons driving our desire to seek, hunt, and pursue beyond a healthy level. Here are eight of the most common ones:

• To feel like a winner. Pursuing just about anything or anyone can make us feel like we deserve bragging rights. 
• To distract us or procrastinate in order to avoid something we should be doing.
• To entertain ourselves, fight boredom, or produce a sense of escape.  
• To fill a childhood vacuum or obtain something we felt deprived of for a long time. 
• To experience a sense of magic, destiny, fate. Some people get caught up in a quest until it becomes a mystical experience. Take for example this quote from a bargain hunter interviewed for a NY Times article about the thrill of the hunt. "When there’s something I’ve been eyeing and I see it go on sale, it’s like God just sort of put it there for me… You feel like it’s destiny." 
• To feel superior to someone else or to receive accolades at the culmination of the quest. 
• To help tolerate or forget uncomfortable feelings, such as stress, worry, fear, etc. 
• To fill a need for control as a substitute for something we can’t master. 

The bodies God has given us don’t function well in a vacuum; they were originally created to work in harmony with our souls. That means our bodies work best in partnership with the Holy Spirit. (I Corinthians 6:19) God’s solution for controlling our hard-wired urges is for us to stay within the spiritual guardrails of our brain's biological pathways. We’re all guilty of driving right through some of those guardrails at one time or another. Sometimes we don’t even realize that guardrails are necessary in certain areas of our lives. We erroneously believe that we are immune to small or simple urges. Sometimes we think we are too mature to abuse, stumble over, or become obsessive with a quest. Finally, there are times when we need to humble ourselves and learn to rebuild or strengthen the guardrails to keep us out of trouble in the future. 

One of the Holy Spirit’s key functions is to define, build up, and communicate about the guardrails needed in each of our lives. When He’s allowed to have carte blanche reign in your life, the Holy Spirit beautifully engineers guardrails made just for you, tailored to your own unique brain wiring, experiences, and calling. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, biology, talents, skills, life experiences, mistakes, weaknesses, all come together under God’s intricately designed plan for His glory. But, we have to do our part to participate in this constant construction project in our lives, and that is to surrender and obey continually out of love. While these steps aren’t exhaustive by any means, here are six ways to strengthen and honor your spiritual guardrails.

1. Examine your deep-seated beliefs for any lies you may have fallen for regarding your feelings, needs, coping mechanisms, habits, pride, or any other deceptions that feed inappropriate or overblown quests for something or someone. 
2. Acknowledge and commit to the hard work for as long as it takes to stop seeking when you shouldn’t. 
3. Filter every quest through the Word. If there’s anything in scriptures that causes you to pause about something you’ve been seeking, then stop until the Holy Spirit directs you. 
4. Pray about every desire to seek and how you choose to use your time. When a quest for something is starting to go outside of the guardrails, time is often the first red flag before other indicators like money and relationships. Every minute we are breathing is a gift of God, and although we can’t possibly commit to never wasting a moment, we can strive to keep the vast majority of it within God’s guardrails. Of course, don’t forget that God intends us to enjoy life and build in restful margins with the time He gives us. 
5. Get in the habit of realigning your attitude and perspectives with God’s versus the world’s. One of the strongest drivers of our need to seek beyond the guardrails is a lack of contentment. See this blog post for more about finding contentment. 
6. Listen and obey. The best way to clearly see the guardrails and strengthen them is to obey when the Spirit says, “You’re getting too close to the edge right now. Back up.” When we listen and obey, the Holy Spirit strengthens our desire to seek Him first. 

​Jesus understands our desire to continuously seek because He fully experienced being a human just like us. So that means His brain released the same chemicals ours does. He got a dopamine rush when Joseph told him that He did a good job carving a piece of wood. He was flooded with serotonin and oxytocin when He hung out with the disciples and gave the sermon on the mount. He felt the adrenaline when He stood up and spoke in the synagogue for the first time. Sometimes I think we forget that Jesus was fully human and fully God at the same time. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that He said in Matthew 6:33, “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

​Jesus was wired to seek, the same way we are, so He knows how to lead us away from temptation and into glorifying the Father the way He did. 1 Corinthians 10:13 gives us this assurance: "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation, He will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” We don’t have to be mastered by our biological need to seek. Instead, we can learn to master it by being willing to see — and seize — God’s escape hatch for genuine fulfillment. 
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Honor. It’s a word that many of us associate with the military or the knights of the roundtable. If you’re like me, it’s a not really a word you use in everyday vocabulary. I think that’s because we regard it as a kind of lofty word, reserving it for wedding vows, veterans ceremonies, lifetime achievements, and Jane Austen films. We seem to save it for special events or rare occasions as if honor is something we only do for specific people or as a part of time-honored traditions.

Given our modern technology-driven culture that minimizes offline relationships and appears to promote only the most disrespectful and abrasive treatment of others, it would be so easy to believe that honor is passé… an old-time value from a largely bygone era. While I am not one who longs for the repressed emotions and often faux civility of the Victorian period, I have often wondered just how far our society will degrade in my lifetime in terms of our public discourse. At some point, I think I’ll have to cut the cord to broadcast and cable TV (in whatever form it eventually takes) not because of the expense, but to avoid watching the news and commercials, especially the political ones.

CS Lewis said in his book The Abolition of Man, “We laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst.” He wrote that in the early 1940s at a time when the use of the term of was very relevant for most Britons and Americans, who were summoning all the honor and courage they had to go fight an insidious evil perpetrated by the antithesis of honor. In that climate, it’s hard to believe Lewis thought honor was slipping away from British society. But in reading the first chapter of his book, while there is absolutely no mention of Hitler or the War, I think perhaps he was implying that if good society wants to continue to hold back callousness, hatred, outright irresponsibility, and even evil in future generations, we must figure out how to teach, inspire, and live out the honor of Christ. Only through divine guidance, can we learn to reason and act based on truth while fully feeling and experiencing what it means to be a human living in God’s abundance. As always, Lewis was ahead of his time.

I can’t even imagine what Lewis would say in observing just 15 minutes of a 2018 newscast or surfing Facebook for only a few moments. He might be shocked enough to be speechless. On the other hand, I do know what the Holy Spirit says — at least to me — when I process the largely dishonorable culture around me through the lens of scripture. I hear Him whisper about royalty. This week He has been reminding me of who I am and who all those who have placed their faith in Jesus are — sons and daughters of the King. We are royalty and, as such, it behooves us to act like children of our heavenly birthright. Even if you’ve read them a thousand times, take a fresh look at the weight and implications of these scriptures:

• 1 Peter 2:9: But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.
• Romans 8:15-17: For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs — heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with Him in order that we may also be glorified with Him.
• Luke 22:29-30: And just as my Father has granted me a Kingdom, I now grant you the right to eat and drink at my table in my Kingdom. And you will sit on thrones…
• Isaiah 62:3: You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God.

So while most of us would readily agree that God’s idea of royalty includes a requirement to be honorable, there’s a surprising lack of understanding of how it is supposed to play out in everyday life. But scripture is not ambiguous about it, even though our society doesn’t teach or display honor to the extent that Jesus modeled for us. 1 Corinthians 7:22-24 says, “All of you, slave and free both, were once held hostage in a sinful society. Then a huge sum was paid out for your ransom. So please don’t, out of old habit, slip back into being or doing what everyone else tells you.” (The Message, emphasis mine) The term “huge sum,” or simply “price” in most English translations, comes from the Greek word meaning “honor.” Whoa. Think about that. Honor is defined as treating something or someone as precious, respected, and valuable. It’s not just about revering someone’s sacrifice, as in the military sense, or having a mutual respect so strong that it can withstand outside influences like the knights of the roundtable. Honor in its daily implementation means to treat others — no matter what their position, lifestyle, wealth, preferences, or behaviors — as if they are precious and valuable. The bottom line is that we are to treat them how Jesus did — that they are fellow royalty no matter where they are on their spiritual journey. From prostitutes to thieves, Jesus treated everyone he encountered based on who they could become in His kingdom, not what they were struggling with at the time.

In his sermon The Weight of Glory, C.S. Lewis said that there is no one you will ever meet who is a mere mortal. No one is just an ordinary person. Every interaction you have bears the weight of helping someone on his or her spiritual journey. Here is how Lewis put it:
“The load, or weight, or burden of my neighbor’s glory should be laid daily on my back, a load so heavy that only humility can carry it, and the backs of the proud will be broken. It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations.”

If you thought that one went right to the heart of the matter, 1 Peter 2:17 takes it even further, piercing into our deepest, most secretive thoughts, perspectives, and fears. The verse commands, “Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor.” Gulp! Peter leaves no one out of that brief but powerful statement, and he even does it with a little bit of humor with his reference to the emperor. Certainly, the term “everyone” included the emperor, but just like our politics today and in every society throughout history, there’s always going to be divisiveness and dishonor surrounding those who govern us, whether it’s our boss at work or an elected official. Even worse, I think, is the dishonor that runs rampant among the various segments of people that identify with one political vision or another. Just about every personal conviction or lifestyle choice seems to force us to self-identify with some group. And if we don’t put ourselves into a camp, then guaranteed someone else will label you and do it for you. But at the end of the day, no matter our choices or differences, we are to honor every human being as a fellow royal-in-the-making. No one is out of reach of the hand of God, but Jesus made it clear that it is not our jobs to judge anyone’s progress toward — or distance away from — that destiny.

When I am confronted with the lack of honor in my heart toward someone I disagree with — even if the thoughts never exit my mouth — my first instinct is to make excuses. But then the Holy Spirit reminds me of the inescapable truth of 1 John 4:10-11 which says, “This is real love — not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other.” We can’t love God enough to make ourselves worthy of the royalty He gives us. Nor can we muster up enough honor or love from within ourselves to bring everyone we encounter to reach the glory God offers them. We have to let God’s unbiased love, made possible through Christ, flow through us to others. Our responsibility is to do our best to not get in its way and ask God to prune us more and more every day to be humble, royal servants to everyone we meet or talk to through any means, channel, or interaction. It’s a tall order, but it comes from a King who will stop at nothing to help us carry His love to every subject in the realm.
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On Monday this week, I took what might be my last jump in the lake for the summer. We had a rare streak of hot days this September and when I looked at the 10-day forecast, it became clear that Maine has probably had its last day of true summer heat for the year. My late afternoon dip was ceremonial in a sense… an ode to an amazing summer filled with laughter, campfires, outdoor living, a house full of guests, and way too many s’mores. Because I live in place that in the winter gets more than its fair share of blizzards and six-foot snow drifts, summer is both magical and elusive in its nature, which makes me want to take in every ray of warm sunshine. Like a big, wet beach towel, it’s as though I spend most of September trying to wring out every last drop of the golden hours.

As the ideal weather for warm, lazy moments in the hammock is slowly morphing into crisp, cool air just perfect for apple picking and Sunday afternoon football, I have a choice to face reality or ignore it. Like anything in life, the season is changing to push me out of familiarity and into new priorities. There are moments where I want to resist this natural course. When I’ve wrung out all I can of the season, I am tempted to begin reliving the immediate past instead of looking forward to the slate of fresh, new opportunities before me. Because I’ve become accustomed to warm-weather in the last four months, certain habits, like wearing flip-flops everywhere, are now entrenched. And as we all know, entrenched things don’t lend themselves to being dug up easily. It is so much easier to burrow down, on all fronts — physical, mental, and emotional — and try to maintain the status quo.

When I was younger I used to hate the expression, “All good things must come to an end.” I viewed it as 100% negative and promised myself to never use it in everyday conversation. When I looked up the origin of the saying, it confirms the negative implications. Geoffrey Chaucer is credited with coining the phrase way back in the 1300s. He used it to describe the end of a beautiful relationship. Ever since then, the world has been using it to communicate resignation or acceptance of something going from good to bad, or to signify the ending of something wonderful that can never be again.

Thankfully, my perception of this timeless truth has gradually changed. It took a long time for me to realize that my negative reaction to this saying was rooted in immaturity and selfishness. I previously equated the saying with the other all-too-common refrain of, “That’s not fair!” In other words, we want what we want, when we want it, and we don’t think we should ever have to give up anything unless we choose to do so. (Bonus points if you repeat that last line to yourself out loud while whining like a five-year-old.) But the reality is that God designed our lives and our journeys for change… for progression … for growth.

All change is uncomfortable on some level, even the small stuff. We don’t always recognize it, thank goodness. But when we do acknowledge it, our culture and natural instincts tell us to whine about it. View it as negative. View it as something being taken away from us. Whether it’s a material possession like wrecking your new car or something far more precious like the loss of a loved one, the seasons that come and go in life are always challenging us… our resiliency, our attitudes, our openness, and most importantly our faith. Every moment of change is an opportunity to welcome God’s plan for our lives, which is not headed toward a cruel, impersonal end, but rather something positive and specifically designed for each of us as individuals.  And our belief — or not — in that truth makes all the difference between welcoming the next season or resisting it and letting what is absent turn into a knotty, twisted root of resentfulness or bitterness in our hearts. The condition of our heart is mirrored in our eyes, which in turn colors how we see and process everything.

Instead, the Word of God shows us how to walk in trust and maturity toward growth, rather than dwelling in the past with our fists clenched so tight that we are no longer holding anything of value. When we truly believe to the point of action, we can literally experience the presence of Jesus as He bends down to touch our sweaty, tight fists, look into our eyes, and whisper, “It’s time to open those, dear one. Give me all that you have, you can trust me with your heart, your needs, and your life. When you receive the changes I am bringing, you will find fulfillment for the true desires of your heart and the greatest longings in your soul.”

For many years, I thought I believed. And I did to a certain point. I experienced God moving in my life, but each time I entered a certain kind of season that was particularly challenging for me, my belief was tested and I would crumble and run to my corner with my fists up. Seasons that test me, may not challenge you. We’re all different. What drives us to the corner is different. But Jesus comes to any corner, in any season, and He will keep asking you to open your fists. Put your dukes down. Stop trying to control everything. Stop saying, “It’s not fair.” We may go through three of the same season, 10 seasons, or more, before we finally look up and believe enough to open our hands.

A woman who had her fists clenched is portrayed in the Gospel of John 8:1-11. She was in a terrible season. We know she committed a sin, but we have no idea about the kind of life she had been living or how far she had been pushed into desperation. Regardless of the road she took to get there, she ended up in a heap in the dirt with big stones scattered all around her. After rescuing her from certain death, Jesus got down in the dirt and filth with her to open her hands and her heart to do things differently from now on. He didn’t reveal to her a step-by-step how-to guide, but He entreated her to follow Him and trust.
Jesus was good at unclenching fists of all kinds. Some belonged to people desperate for change and others were the hands of people who had previously refused to welcome any kind of change. The greatest common denominator of them all? Belief. Belief brings conviction, which in turn, births humility, followed by love. Fast on the heels of love comes service. When you love someone, you take action for them, even at your own discomfort or expense. But it all starts with belief.

Each of the disciples struggled with belief on some level, and they had Jesus right in front of them. We’re all quick to disparage Thomas because he refused to believe that Jesus had risen from the dead until he saw Him face to face. But would you or I have done any better? Can’t you just see Thomas, or yourself, standing in the corner of the Upper Room where all the disciples were huddled in fear waiting on the Romans to take them to jail? I bet his arms were crossed and his fists were clenched. The new season had come and he hated it. He was unsure. It wasn’t fair that Jesus had been killed. Then his perspective changed in an instant. In John 20:24-29, we read this: “A week later His disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, ‘Peace be with you!’ Then He said to Thomas, ‘Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe’.” Repeat that last sentence to yourself. Stop doubting and believe. It’s a command and a blessing all at once. I think in that moment, Jesus opened Thomas’ hands, mind, and heart to the next season.

The passage continues, “Thomas said to him, ‘My Lord and my God!’ Then Jesus told him, ‘Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed’.” You may believe that the disciples had some advantage that you or I don’t, but Jesus assures us that we will be blessed in a way the disciples were not if we believe in what we can’t always see, feel, or hear. We can’t see the future or know what each season holds, but we are called to believe Romans 8:28 when it says that He will use any season for our good and His glory. Hebrews 12:11 promises a peaceful harvest of right living for those who receive and grow in seasons of discipline.

We also have no reason, no matter how much our brains tell us otherwise, to view a change with the assumption that it will bring something we don’t like or that life will be worse than before it came. Nor should we believe the lie that the season of life coming to an end was so good that nothing else will ever again come close to it. That sense of losing out may define what it means to be human, but Jesus came as proof to show us that there is so much more than we can know, fathom, or understand with our limited capabilities here on earth. Romans 8:6 says, “So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.”

As we say goodbye to the summer of 2018, let it be a reminder to you of the good that’s yet to come. No matter what’s in store for your life, the country, the culture, or the world, we can count on a God who loves us more than we can even think or imagine. If you need assurance of that, I encourage you to read Ephesians 3:14-19. And when you do, I encourage you to read it out loud. Stare down your doubts and fears and resolutely proclaim it as often as necessary. Memorize it. And then rest in knowing that it’s a promise that the Holy Spirit will tailor just for you and your season at hand.
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When we were kids, time just seemed to crawl. Remember how long an afternoon felt when there was nothing to do? Did you drive your parents crazy by constantly fidgeting when waiting in lengthy lines? And, of course, there was always the proverbial long car ride peppered by the constant question from the backseat: “Are we there yet?”

If you’re like me, then you would love to once again experience the sensation of time crawling because as we age, it just seems to fly by at a faster and faster clip each year. Nor, do we ever seem to have enough of it. Well, as far as I know, there’s only one guaranteed way for adults to dramatically slow down the clock and momentarily return to a perception that time is dragging. Unfortunately, however, it is almost sure to be an unpleasant experience. Having to wait on something really important, big, or life-changing to happen will turn minutes into hours, days into weeks, and months into years. It’s incredible, really. Whether it’s waiting to be able to afford a better house, waiting on test results (of any kind!), waiting for a long overdue promotion, waiting to become pregnant, or waiting on the opportunity to pursue a lifelong dream, the list of things that can make waiting seem like an eternity is as long and varied as each individual.

But how do we learn to wait well? What does God want us to do and how does He want us to handle these periods of waiting? And as long as we’re asking the hard questions, then why does He make us wait?

The right answer certainly isn’t coming from today’s mainstream culture, which revolves around instant gratification and constant self-indulgence. Furthermore, any period of waiting is perceived as wasted, holding no value whatsoever. But the great news is this pessimistic, sad portrayal of waiting is exactly the opposite of what God intends for those who choose to trust in Him. The day-to-day times of waiting in our lives are real opportunities for divine training to draw us closer to God and proclaim that every second counts — every second matters — to the King of universe. When we shift our perspective from waiting as an arduous, painful time-waster to time well spent being spiritually productive, then we’ve already won half the battle. Whether it’s a five-minute wait in traffic or a fifteen-year wait for the love of your life, the Holy Spirit will redeem the time spent if we have the right perspective and a teachable heart.

Scripture gives us a seven-part prescription for waiting and included in this divine remedy we also find the reasons why He sometimes makes us wait in the first place. Each of these reasons transforms into spiritual gifts that can only be bestowed upon us if we make it through the waiting process God’s way and not by our own methods, force, or manipulation.

1. Welcome the waiting. The remainder of this prescription won’t work if we don’t begin by going beyond acceptance of our situation to fully embracing the waiting… however long it might be. When we fight the inevitable, we limit our vision, generate bitterness, and close any doors to spiritual growth. Sure, God can handle us asking Him, “why?” But whether He answers us immediately or not, we must welcome the waiting with open arms. After all, sometimes the answers to the question why become crystal clear during the process. If you believe in God, then you must have faith that He has a purpose in the waiting and then make your heart ready to receive it. Psalm 27:14 says, “Wait for the Lord, be strong and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord.” James 1:2-3 encourages fullness of joy in everything, not resignation. Gifts: trust, hope, courage 
2. Evict the anxiety. Kick it right out of your mind and instead fill it up with prayer, scripture meditation, and praise. Many of us were raised to believe that we need to worry or fear during times of uncertainty, but God wants you to trust Him to the point that you can be still, peaceful and joyful in the waiting. If God is allowing the waiting, then He has a plan for it to end as well. Remember, He holds whatever you’re waiting for in the palm of His hand and He’s preparing you for it. If you busy your mind with prayer, scripture, and praise, it won’t have time to fret during the waiting. Philippians 4:6 says, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” 1 John 4:16-18 tells us that a well-developed love for God squeezes out any room for fear. Set your sites on loving God instead of thinking about the waiting. Gifts: peace, contentment, rest 
3. Stop looking for shortcuts. Release your need for control of the situation and stop trying to circumvent the process. Yes, God wants you to use your brain to be creative, resourceful, and efficient, but He doesn’t want you to spend countless hours over-researching, over-analyzing, and brainstorming ways to end the waiting prematurely. God has great plans for us at the end of the process, but we all too often miss out on the blessing because we took a shortcut or sought out a substitute for the real thing. If you’re willing to surrender control to the Holy Spirit, He will let you know when your “brain work” has moved passed the healthy mark and into obsessive control and impatience. In Matthew 11:29 Jesus encourages us to work out life His way. This often precludes shortcuts, but promises grace and strength in the journey. “Walk with me and work with me — watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Gifts: patience, self-control, strength 
4. Give thanks continually. One of the greatest temptations while waiting is succumbing to a bad attitude, tinged with bitterness, self-pity, and brimming with negativity. At the root of these dangerous feelings is pride, which tells us that we deserve better and we should have it right now. Instead, we are called to humble ourselves before God and thank Him for His goodness. When we sincerely and unceasingly praise God and thank Him for everything — not just the good stuff — something downright magical happens in our souls, transforming our perspectives and generating overflowing joy. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 says, “Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live.” Gifts: joy, humility
5. Play your position in the meantime. Just because we’re waiting, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be productive. Whatever place we’re at in life, God expects us to play that position to its fullest. We are to continue working, serving, and loving in every moment at a quality level that is worthy of our King. Being stagnant leads to boredom and opens the door for negative thoughts, endless self-analysis, circular reasoning, and temptations. All too often, we use the excuse of waiting on God as a reason to not get involved in serving others or excelling in our current roles. Colossians 3:23-24 reminds us to work for the Lord, not for reward or the approval of others. Psalm 130:5 says, “I am counting on the Lord; yes, I am counting on Him. I have put my hope in His word.” Gifts: maturity, endurance, compassion 
6. Expect great things. God never brings us second best when we wait on Him the right way. I shudder to think how many times I have settled for a substitute or rushed my way to something that is second best, rather than holding out for God to deliver the right thing for me and for His glory. When we wait on God with patience and great expectation, He will be glorified and we will be truly satisfied. Psalm 25:3a says “Indeed, none who wait for You shall be put to shame…” Gifts: faith, vision, dependence
7. Prepare for God’s best. If God is bringing us His best, then we should strive to offer Him our best in return. There is nothing we can wait for that can’t be enhanced by some kind of preparedness, whether it be spiritual, physical, or emotional in nature. In advance of whatever is coming, we have the opportunity to prayerfully examine ourselves and look for areas in need of improvement. Whatever you’re waiting on God to do, chances are there is something He wants you to work on in the interim with greater consistency. Perhaps it’s reading the Word, getting healthy, tithing, getting out of debt, learning a new skill, giving up something… it could be anything that will make whatever you’re waiting on even more amazing. In Luke 16:10 Jesus says that if we’re faithful in the little things, God will entrust us with bigger things. Gifts: discipline, consistency, tenacity

​Lewis Smedes wrote, “Waiting is the hardest work of hope.” And none of us like to do it. But keeping our focus on God, instead of whatever it is that we’re waiting for, is the ultimate key to waiting with grace. In His faithful hands, we can trust that our Father will use the waiting to reveal more about Himself and shape us into being more like Jesus in the process. James 1:4 encourages us with these words, “And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” Scripture encourages us to let waiting fulfill its God-directed purpose in our lives, as each moment of being in between the now and the not yet, or in between the desire and the deliverance, can draw us closer to the One who loves us completely in every second.
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Like a catchy song, sometimes I come across a quote that won’t stop resounding in my heart and circling in my mind. I usually end up posting it near my computer or by my bed, reading it over and over to savor the layers and depths of it, knowing that it has found its mark in my soul either because I feel convicted, encouraged, or both.

One such quote by Jonathan Edwards (circa 1773) has been swirling in my mind for months now. “God is the highest good of the reasonable creature, and the enjoyment of Him is the only happiness with which our souls can be satisfied. To go to heaven fully to enjoy God is infinitely better than the most pleasant accommodations here. Fathers and mothers, husbands, wives, children, or the company of earthly friends, are but shadows. But the enjoyment of God is the substance. These are but scattered beams, but God is the sun. These are but streams, but God is the fountain. These are but drops, but God is the ocean.”

While I know in my heart what we experience here on earth — in even our happiest and most sublime moments — is just a paltry fraction of what’s to come in eternity, getting that truth to permeate my mind to the point where my thought patterns, behaviors, and priorities are actually impacted seems next to impossible. Despite my passionate pursuit to know and love God, my attention to, or my understanding of, the impact of heaven’s reality on my daily life, is almost missing entirely. And that problem is not unusual for most Christians. Topics on coping with the trials of life often include a million how-to’s, life hacks, tips and tricks, but the discipline and practical application of being heaven-minded is rarely mentioned or explained. Even the curriculum taught at many Christian colleges and seminaries contains relatively slim components about heaven and eternity, so it’s no wonder that collectively — as the body of Christ — we don’t talk about it enough. Therefore, we don’t even know what we’re missing.

End times prophecy is always a popular discussion in Christian circles and it usually generates high attendance for a Bible study, but it is not the same topic as a focus on heaven itself. Ideas surrounding the rapture, the tribulation, and their timing, often overshadow the real endgame of the Biblical story, which is much more revolutionary and life-changing than we can possibly imagine. Heaven is the culmination of the entire Biblical story. Jesus sacrificed His life so that He could bring us into eternal fellowship with Him, in a place that He has personally and beautifully prepared just for us. Exquisitely tailored to each individual’s uniqueness, we will commune forever in perfect harmony in a place that pulses with the heartbeat of God Himself. So if life on earth is all about preparing for eternity with Jesus, then why aren’t we more impacted by the reality of our future home?

The theologians of old, like Jonathan Edwards, and their congregations had a far better grasp on the current impact of our heavenly destiny than our culture does today. Perhaps it’s because they lived under much harsher conditions. The average lifespan of an American in the late 18th century was just 36 years old. And in 17th century New England, about 40% of the population died before reaching adulthood. In many communities, churches ceased to ring bells when someone passed away because the noise level and frequency had become such a nuisance. There is no question that daily life in the colonial period was far more precarious than any of us in modern times can even fathom.

So perhaps it was the close proximity and constant reminder of death that pushed our Christian ancestors to study the truth of heaven and keep its reality at the forefront of their minds. They had no choice, really. By studying and applying the concept of heaven on a daily basis, they found a pathway to comfort, peace, joy, and hope in the midst of extreme hardship. In today’s society, however, even with all of our healthcare, conveniences, technology, gourmet food, and gadgets, most people go through their days frazzled, stressed, anxious, and angry. According to scholars, our society is dramatically more fragmented and interpersonally disconnected than the typical life of an early American colonist. Prior to the early 1900s, most of human history was marked by the need for community. Residents of towns and villages had no choice but to collaborate and communicate frequently in person — not via a digital social network or a mass broadcast — in order to survive. God designed us to function best in community serving and loving each other… but that’s a blog topic for another day.

Of course, I am as grateful as the next person that every day is not a test of my survival and I don’t have to ration out lumps of dirty coal in the wintertime to stay warm. But in all my luxury, I think I’m as guilty as the next person about understanding the mind-blowing ramifications of the heaven Jesus gave His life to provide. C.S. Lewis said, “Our whole education tends to fix our minds on this world. . . When the real want for Heaven is present in us, we do not recognize it. Most people, if they had really learned to look into their own hearts, would know that they do want, and want acutely, something that cannot be had in this world. There are all sorts of things in this world that offer to give it to you, but they never quite keep their promise. . .  If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.”

Humans are simply wired to hope. We were created in the image of God and there’s something deep inside of us that subconsciously remembers the splendor for which we were originally intended. That’s why anticipation can change everything… our perspective, moods, and even our endurance levels. Why else would we spend weeks, and sometimes months, daydreaming about our next big vacation or special event? That’s because a substantial portion of the happiness generated by any “big” life moment is wrapped up in the anticipation of its coming. Knowing that we will be lying on a beach somewhere in a few weeks, can give us the strength to shovel out another snowstorm. Thinking about the joy of Christmas morning can put a smile on our faces and patience in our hearts while we wait in a long line on Black Friday. And so it should be with the anticipation of heaven. Why do we spend weeks, if not months, planning for a special getaway, but don’t spend a fraction of that time studying the eternal home that awaits us?

Heaven puts suffering into perspective and gives us both a vision and a real sensation of relief. Romans 8:18 and 28 (AMP) says, “For I consider [from the standpoint of faith] that the sufferings of the present life are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is about to be revealed to us and in us! And we know [with great confidence] that God [who is deeply concerned about us] causes all things to work together [as a plan] for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His plan and purpose.” It’s not that what we go through here is small, but rather that the weight of the glory mentioned in 2 Corinthians 4:17 is that huge. The scale of heaven’s pleasure is so vast, even our worst suffering will someday seem insignificant.

So to get you started, here are 10 dazzling, exciting and comforting things to heartily anticipate about heaven. God commands us to take pleasure in Him (Psalm 37:4), not just in our future eternity, but right now. Therefore, daydreaming about what Jesus has personally prepared for us is not only Biblical (2 Peter 3:13), it is one of the best mood-lifters and perspective-shifters humankind has ever known.

1. We will have perfect bodies and will never face a physical death again. (1 Corinthians 15:51–52)
2. We will be uniquely us and not some amorphous hazy being. Nor will we be like the angels. We will be who we were created to be and not exactly like anyone else. (Philippians 3:20-21; Matthew 8:11)
3. We will eat and drink luxuriously at the finest banquets. (Isaiah 25:6, Luke 13:29)
4. We will know and continue to have relationships with our loved ones. (Genesis 25:8)
5. We will never be bored and will have meaningful work to do that we absolutely love, just as God originally intended in the Garden of Eden. (Genesis 2:15; Revelation 7:15, 2 Timothy 2:12)
6. We will never have pain, negative emotions, or hurt feelings. (Revelation 21:4)
7. We will experience a new heaven AND a new earth. (Revelation 21:1-2; Ezekiel 36:35)
8. We will physically enjoy a perfect “great outdoors” and be enveloped in visual beauty and splendor. (Isaiah 51:3, 2 Peter 3:12-13)
9. We will live in tranquility, joy, and complete satisfaction. We will never long for anything or crave something in excess. Finally, we will live in perfect balance. (Psalm 16:11)
10. We will see, converse with, and touch Jesus Himself. (Psalm 11:7, John 14:3)

The last thing a believer should do is wait until death is knowingly looming on the horizon to ponder life in “another world,” as C.S. Lewis called it. Although none of us know how much time we have left, the practice of imagining the pleasures of heaven now makes the road between here and there much more bearable. It also enables the final passage to be less about fear and more about anticipation. If you want to dive deeper into the topic of heaven, one of the foremost authorities on the subject is Randy Alcorn. I encourage you to read more, do an in-depth Bible study, like this one, or check out a daily devotional about the glorious eternal home that awaits us. And if you really want to geek out like me, check out this video of Randy’s appearance at the Desiring God Conference in 2013. The title of his talk is C.S. Lewis on Heaven and the New Earth: God’s Eternal Remedy to the Problem of Evil and Suffering. After digesting that meaty morsel of theological goodness, you won’t be able to resist thinking about the majestic, incomprehensibly wonderful life that awaits us.
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I almost never fall off my paddle board, so very early on one cool summer morning, I decided that the lake looked too perfect to miss even though the temperature outside was still hovering near 55. Since my toes turn into human ice cubes when cool air is combined with moisture, I decided to try wearing water shoes while paddling. Although I had never worn shoes on my board before, I had seen other people do it, so it seemed like a win-win to me — warm toes and a little extra padding for comfort. At first, they were quite comfy. In fact, for a moment I thought wearing shoes on the board might become my new norm. I certainly felt warmer, and everything seemed stable. But that train of thought went off the rails the first time I shifted my weight. I might have felt comfy and stable, but when the need for adjustments came, I quickly discovered that I had significantly underestimated the impact on my balance of wearing shoes. Without direct, bare contact with the board, my ability to feel the slightest movement was dramatically minimized. The extra layer between me and the board nearly threw me in. Far more than my toes almost turned into ice cubes, not to mention how bruised my pride would’ve been.

Sometimes we add things to our lives in the name of self-protection, happiness, or comfort, yet they turn out to be entirely unnecessary and occasionally even harmful to our spiritual health. Because our humanity pushes us to rely on our own senses, feelings, and experiences, we end up layering on all kinds of requirements, habits, methods, etc. But often God wants to expose us to the elements for a reason. While these add-ons may be helpful for a season (or not), they can often end up interfering with our sensitivity to the Holy Spirit and God’s intention for our lives. 

In a similar fashion, we read in the Bible that the Pharisees had added much to the Torah (the Jewish Scriptures) with endless rules and regulations for people to follow to be right with God. But then Jesus showed up on the scene and boiled faith down to two simple things: love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind and love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:36-40). It’s easy to forget how revolutionary the words of Jesus were at that time and still are today. But that’s exactly what he intended. He came to upend us. Imagine the widespread shock and counter-cultural backlash to His declaration that all the laws of the prophets could be reduced to two simple things. That would be like the country’s top lawyer proclaiming that our entire body of laws, from traffic ordinances to tax law, can be reduced to just two requirements. When Jesus said that pleasing God comes down to something so seemingly simple, it literally threatened to rip the very fabric of the Jewish culture. The disciples and most of Jesus' followers were raised and taught to revere and follow all the laws of their faith. And what Jesus said upended everything — their entire lifestyle was turned upside down. 

Changing the way we think is not easy. Bucking the predominant culture is difficult. Doing a 180 pivot from what your parents, other relatives, and teachers ingrained in you is downright arduous. Allowing yourself to be defenseless… raw… vulnerable… and completely real with Jesus is nothing short of a miracle. It is a work that only the Holy Spirit can do. It is something we see modeled in scripture time and time again, and if we are truly pursuing God above everything else, it is something that the Holy Spirit will keep leading you to do. And just when you think the layers are finally gone, He’ll show you another one… and another one. 

If this sounds exhausting or discouraging, reject that thought immediately because it’s a human reaction. It’s a feeling that Satan knows how to stir up in you, throw in your face, and eventually condition you to obey so that it becomes your normal pattern. But it’s not normal in God’s pattern. We were created in the image of Him, which means when we surrender back to God what He designed from the beginning to commune with Himself, we find what He intended as not only normal, but also powerful and exhilarating. Every layer we allow the Holy Spirit to reveal and peel back is one step closer to God's original design for us. 2 Corinthians 3:18 says, “So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like Him as we are changed into His glorious image.” The work of the Holy Spirit, which He asks us to partner in, is not an exercise of never-ending exhaustion, but a most beautiful and exciting journey toward splendor. With our human layers, we cannot see this future glory, but by yielding to the Holy Spirit’s power, a deep-seated “knowing” begins to burn within us. 

Paul understood this more than we can ever fathom. Scholars estimate that he was about 30 years old when Jesus appeared before him on the road to Damascus. Saul, as he was known at that time, was on his way to find, publicly scorn, and kill Christians. His upbringing, his advanced learning, and his incredible intelligence were all working in perfect concert to make him an efficient, cunning, and passionate litigator and assassin. In one swift move, Jesus ripped away all of Paul’s layers in an instant and then left him to recuperate with the very group of people he had been determined to destroy. As the Holy Spirit worked to rebuild Paul out of the ashes, He outfitted him to be the catalyst that reached the rest of humanity — the vast majority of the earth who knew nothing of the religious layers required by the Pharisees. If Paul’s conversion had not been so radical, so complete, his eyes would’ve never roamed outside of his Jewish world. He would’ve never seen the image of God imprinted on the hearts of people who were not like him. 

Likening our journey with God to that of a race, Paul said in Hebrews 12:1-3, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before Him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”

Do I think that Paul never got tired? No, he was still human. He may have been walking closer to God that most of us, but prison, shipwrecks, snake bites, and social ridicule wear on any person. But any time he became discouraged, we know where he found the strength and the hope to continue. He focused on the future splendor that burned within and asked God to remove yet another layer so that he could feel the warmth of its glow even more. Just like us, when he needed strength, he recounted the stories of the faith warriors who went before him. Just read Hebrews 11 and you’ll know exactly what Paul’s pep talks sounded like. He starts it off with, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Another of his most famous pep talks is found in Romans 8. In this amazing passage we are assured of God’s love for us, promised our future destiny as heirs, given a vision of the glory that’s to come, supplied with the secret to finding strength in our weaknesses, and triumphantly bestowed the new identity of conqueror in Christ. Now that’s a pep talk!

The shoes of comfort, obligation, and skepticism only keep us from sensing the Truth and responding to the direction of the Spirit. The layers in our lives may feel good and seem to promise protection. They may have even served a good purpose for a season. But anything that keeps our souls from being bare before Jesus, will eventually be targeted for removal by the Master Surgeon. We can participate in the search and willingly embrace the surgery, or we can run away to only have Him bring us back to it again and again. Like a marker in our lives, we can either keep circling it until our feet have worn a deep groove of unbalance in our faith, or we can yield to the Spirit’s leading and make it a monument to our growth and healing. As a believer in Jesus, your spiritual feet are already standing on the road to glory, but moving forward means leaving your shoes of self-preservation far behind.  ​
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Birthdays. I often wonder if Jesus celebrated his. Did the disciples ever attempt to throw Him a surprise party or did they realize early on that any attempt to sneak up on Jesus would fail? If they did try it, did Jesus pretend to be surprised to make them feel appreciated or would He have considered that the same as lying? One thing is for sure, I believe Jesus exuded good humor and happiness in His time here on earth. And I have a sneaking suspicion that He loved to laugh. After all, He’s the only perfect human to ever exist, and He embodied all the joy of His Heavenly Father. So if the disciples did throw Him a birthday celebration, I bet He was the life of the party… quite literally. 

This past weekend, I celebrated my own turning of another year, and I couldn’t help but ponder what God thinks of our traditions. Most people celebrate birthdays with gifts. A good meal is universally required. And many people make a wish (or 5, or 10, or more!) when they blow out the candles on their cake. And although I can’t specifically recall a single birthday wish from my last 46 years, I am certain that all of them have been minuscule, miscalculated or misdirected longings compared to the immense pleasure and satisfaction that God truly offers. 

C.S. Lewis, one of my favorite authors, said in his sermon The Weight of Glory, "Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us… like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by an offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

One of Satan’s sneakiest ploys is to corrupt the joy of a Christian’s heart by making him or her think that following Christ should be primarily defined and visibly marked by self-sacrifice and deprivation of our deepest of longings. Yes, self-sacrifice is clearly required in the Christian life, but God never asked us to make it the aim of our relationship with Him. No, He makes it clear that the ultimate goal of our relationship with Him should be delighting in Him. When we find ourselves in the rut of duty and self-denial as the end game — a way of just checking off the spiritual to-do list — we are in dangerous territory. Sure, we may be helping others and doing good things, but if the primary outcome isn’t an overflow of pure pleasure and spirit-driven exhilaration, then we could be missing out on the greatest happiness known to man and falling prey to Satan’s greatest deception. 

I grew up in a culture that emphasized the disciplines of faith more than the joy of a relationship with God. As a result, I spent many wasted years honing my skills in Biblical study, prayer, self-sacrifice for others, and scripture memorization. Now, of course, all of these things are very important and valuable, but my upbringing led me down a dangerous path of duty to God versus desiring God. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit led me to discover John Piper’s writings on Christian hedonism and the refreshing reminder that the disciplines of my faith should flow out of me like living water because I love God and others, not because duty dictates my service. Since I was one of those kids that always followed the rules (yes, I was a nerd), it had never clicked in my brain that God wanted me to focus all of my being on delighting in Him and letting the disciplines naturally follow in time with His empowerment, not mine.

Even more astounding, as I determined in my heart to not do anything — not a single “duty,” like reading devotions or volunteering — unless the Holy Spirit created a desire in my heart to do so out of pure love for God, I found that the longings in my life began to radically change over time. It didn’t happen overnight, but I was willing to turn off the voices in my head from my upbringing, and instead take God at His Word. At first it was downright strange to stop doing certain spiritual habits — almost like going to bed without brushing my teeth (just the thought makes my skin crawl!). But I knew in my heart that I had just been following a routine and going through the motions to check things off my list like prayer and quiet time. And then, little by little, as I asked God daily to teach me how to delight in Him, to replace the desires of my heart with His, and to empower me to love Him above all else, He was faithful to create within me a longing like I had never known to spend time with Him. No longer did I have to set a calendar reminder to read the Word. Just like physical hunger, the Holy Spirit was literally changing my nature to crave time with God.

This is the essence of Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 11:28-30 when He said, “My yoke is easy and my burden is light.” The oxen analogy is so brilliant because He’s telling us that while it does take effort to live our lives for Him, when we are surrendered to the Spirit, as illustrated by a farmer driving his team in the fields, the work brings with it a deep satisfaction we would never find on our own. When we go out to plow the fields of life by ourselves without being tethered to a team driven by the Shepherd, everything will seem harder. Through our hard work, our longings may be temporarily satiated, but the deepest desires of our hearts will never go away. We will always crave something more, something bigger, something different. This is why it is fruitless to do good just for good’s sake. One of the most difficult concepts for people in Western culture to grasp is that we were created to be happy, contented, joyful and satisfied. It is not only okay to desire to feel that way, but it is commanded and encouraged by God. “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4)

Most of us, however, have a hard time separating the concept of pleasure as a goal from the twisted and contaminated version associated with sinful behaviors and selfish desires. And because it’s counter-cultural to the way most of us were raised, it’s too uncomfortable or difficult to ponder what it might mean to live our lives pursuing the pleasure of God. Even worse, we don’t really believe in our deepest places that the enjoyment of God can hold a candle to the pleasures of indulgence, wealth, fame, or any other worldly or physical pursuits. That’s because all of the pleasures we typically experience reward us in a way that makes us feel better in some way fairly quickly — if not instantaneously. The pleasures of God, however, take much more time to cultivate and our lack of belief, patience and endurance often get in the way before we ever see them come to fruition.

John Piper put it this way: “Christian joy is a good feeling in the soul, produced by the Holy Spirit, as He causes us to see the beauty of Christ in the Word and in the world.” He goes on to explain that delighting in God, which produces real joy and pleasure, is indeed an emotional response we cannot control as the Holy Spirit makes us into a new creation over time. It is true that faith is not a feeling, but the pleasure that comes from our faith is. We cannot fabricate this emotion, nor can we force it — it is supernatural. And it is amazing. It’s worth whatever it takes to experience it. And that’s the beautiful truth of our partnership with God: we commit our hearts to love Him above all else, and He does all the work to make us truly happy about that decision.

If you’re curious to study more about finding pleasure in pursuing God, check out John Piper’s six-part video series on Philippians entitled: Jesus and the Journey to Joy.
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Ahhhh, summertime. As kids, it was the season we lived for all year long. It was a chance to get out of the routine of studying, homework, and packed schedules. And although it flew by, we learned to relish every moment of swimming, ice cream cones, sleeping in, and going on the family vacation or camping trip.  ​

And then… we grew up.

In America, that means we suffered through the reality shock that most jobs don’t offer the summer off. Eventually as college finished and we started job hunting, we also woke up to the more subtle but more shocking fact that in order to be admired by our peers and to build a desirable workplace reputation, we must be as productive and dedicated as humanly possible. Oh, and then we found out that this standard didn’t just apply to our jobs. No, to be truly admired, we needed to be well-rounded and interesting. So in addition to insane work hours, we threw in a hefty dose of cultural and social activities, a fitness regime, plus a measurable splash of volunteerism or activism. 

Last time someone asked you how you’re doing, do you remember your reply? Chances are, your response included some reference to being busy. According to multiple studies highlighted in the Harvard Business Review, the vast majority of Americans now view busyness as a status symbol. In other words, the busier you seem, the more likely people will respect you and think that you’re prosperous, highly valued, and hard working. The researchers saw evidence of this perception in social media, interpersonal communications, advertising messaging, and hiring trends. By stark contrast, a century ago, the ability to enjoy free time and leisure activities was universally perceived by most Americans to be a blessing and a sign of success in life. And we are predominantly unique in our obsession with busyness. Studies conducted among Europeans, for example, show that they largely perceive that a more relaxed lifestyle is still a sign of success. 

Researchers speculate that this dramatic shift in American culture is partially due the rise of the knowledge economy, particularly fueled by our insatiable appetite for technology. We practically sleep with our smartphones, which means texting, calendar reminders, to do lists, social media interactions, and a host of other time-intensive demands are constantly vying for our attention. Studies on this topic, repeatedly indicate that as a society, we are multi-tasking more and quite literally reshaping our brains to be less inclined toward reflection, meditation, long-form reading/studying, and deep conversations. 

Unfortunately, the cultural value for busyness has also infiltrated and tainted the spiritual outlook of many believers to the point where all margin for rest has been entirely squeezed out of our lives. Some of us volunteer to serve until we teeter on burn out. Others of us justify crazy schedules and overindulgences all week long by not working on Sundays. But overall, most of us aren’t doing much better with finding time for rest than people who don’t profess a belief in God. 

Four Keys to Getting out of the Busyness Habit
So how do we get out of this busy rut? How do we become counter-cultural when every voice and influence around us is saturating us with seemingly important requirements and demands? Do we have the courage to let God take care of how we’re perceived by others, rather than building up our image by appearing to be busy, needed and validated? Four key things really stick out to me when reading the Word or doing a study about God’s design for rest.

1. Understand the broader meaning of the Sabbath principle. God’s design for rest is much bigger than not working on Sundays. In her study, Breathe: Making Room For Sabbath, Priscilla Shirer says, “God always and eternally intended the Sabbath to be a lifestyle — an attitude, a perspective, an orientation for living that enables us to govern our lives and steer clear of bondage.” She goes on to say, “Sabbath margin is the boundary God intended for us to place around the things we enjoy so that we’ll never be a slave to anyone or anything other than Him.” When I went through her study last year, I was immediately convicted about numerous areas of my life where I had allowed myself to be enslaved to either things I enjoyed or by the expectations set upon me from other people. Whether your time is eaten up by things you love or activities you feel pressured to do, anything that prevents you from having the margin in your life to obey the Holy Spirit on a daily basis should be cut back or eliminated. When we cram all our “rest” into Sundays, versus making it a daily lifestyle, we squeeze out the room for God to show up all week long. If you don’t have any margin in your daily schedule, you won’t have any space for God to bless you. Galatians 5:1 says, "For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.” 

2. Entrust your time to God and then let Him take care of your reputation. I used to wear the badge of busyness with pride. When I began to recognize that my true worth was found in yielding my time to the leading of the Holy Spirit, versus my desire to please others or get things checked off my list, obeying the command to add Sabbath margin into my life became easier little by little. However, my deep-seated desire to be viewed as an over-achiever has been much harder to release. Jesus wasn’t worried about being regarded for his accomplishments or success. He came to serve and obey His Father’s instructions (John 5:19-20 and Romans 15:8-9). In the same way, we are to do our Father’s bidding and let Him worry about how we’re perceived. Paul also shunned any concerns over his reputation. Galatians 1:10 says, "For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” 

3. Have faith in the Biblical principle of multiplication. One of the many reasons to read and study the Bible is to know and feel confident in the character of our loving, heavenly Father. Over and over throughout the Bible, God makes it clear that He will take care of us when we give up something to Him or in His name. When the widow at Zarephath obeyed and gave up her grain and oil to serve Elijah (1 Kings 17:7-24), God blessed her pantry so that her supplies never ran out again during the famine. In Exodus 16, when the Israelites gave up their temptation to collect extra manna for the Sabbath, God miraculously multiplied their portion so that no one went hungry. In Malachi 3:10, God tells us to test him with the giving of our tithes and offerings and He will “open the windows of heaven” for us. The disciples witnessed the principle of multiplication in Matthew 14:13-21 when Jesus miraculously fed thousands with five loaves of bread and two small fish. Our time is no less valuable than our tithe, but many people struggle to let go of the addiction of busyness to generate breathing room for God to move in their lives. But God’s character is something you can count on every time. If you draw healthy boundaries around the stuff and tasks in your life, effectively making your life more flexible for God’s interventions, He will multiply what’s needed to ensure that He is glorified and you are taken care of. 

4. Get comfortable saying no with love and grace. Drawing boundaries around a blessing that has turned into an over-indulgence is hard, but telling someone else no is borderline traumatic for some people. But through the power of the Holy Spirit, we can grow in strength every time we practice saying no. 2 Timothy 1:7 says, “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” When we step out in faith on that promise, God will always be faithful to help us through the discipline of saying no, whether it’s a volunteer opportunity that’s not a good fit, a promotion at work that would negatively impact your family, or limiting how much time you spend on social media or watching TV. Whenever God prompts you to say no in order to leave margin for Him to interrupt your day or spend more time resting in His presence, He will always provide you with a way to obey Him (1 Corinthians 10:13). It may not be easy, but He wants us to depend on Him for the strength, grace and wisdom to follow His leading.

As a recovering perfectionist who has always struggled to stop and enjoy God’s blessings in my life, I still wrestle with needless busyness. But when that familiar frantic feeling creeps into my day, I recall something the Holy Spirit once whispered to my soul: Things don’t have to be perfect to be incredible. My house doesn’t have to be pristine and tidy if it means I am not able to sit and enjoy the presence of family or friends. If guided by the Lord, the words of my blog don’t have to come out perfect to strike a chord in someone’s heart. If the work piles up, I don’t have to get everything done in one night — God will help me get it all done in the right time if I honor Him first with my commitments and boundaries. Jesus gently but firmly corrected his dear friend Martha to stop and rest when she started wearing the badge of busyness. In Luke 10:38-42, He told her that her sister had chosen the “better portion” by sitting and listening to Jesus rather than preparing for and serving their guests. Each day, you and I also have the option to choose the better portion… to leave breathing room for the movement of the Holy Spirit to change the course of our day. Some days it may be harder to do than others, but those moments are blessings within themselves because they teach us to depend on God and His mercies even more. And the more we depend on Him, the less we’ll be in the way of His amazing plans.
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It’s that time of year when everything is growing and blooming like crazy in Maine, so that means our yard is finally alive with resplendent color… and constantly coated with a thin film of yellow pollen. It somehow finds its way into every corner of my house, prompting my inner clean freak to wipe surfaces incessantly and creating the need for me to take an allergy pill daily. But just when I start to get really annoyed, I pass by the snow shovels in our garage and immediately adjust my attitude with the not-so-distant memory of long, dark icy days when nothing can survive in my yard.

Without that much-needed attitude adjustment, I doubt I would’ve even noticed the most remarkable thing in my yard. Early one morning this week, I was looking out my window and saw a determined purple iris growing right out of an area covered in gravel and rocks. Just feet away, there was soft, fertile earth beckoning, but that single iris was growing right where it was originally planted many, many years ago by the previous owner of our property. Because we’ve lived in this location for more than a decade, I was not only surprised by the perennial’s hardiness, but equally disappointed by my lack of attention to it before.

As I pondered the struggle the iris must face each year to rise up among stones and then blossom in unpleasant conditions, I couldn't help but think about the times in our lives when God plants us in places we don’t want to be in. He sees the hard, unforgiving stones and gravel as opportunities for growth, and we tend to see them as nothing but bad luck, adversity, and disappointment. He wants us to learn to depend more on Him and become a bright spot of color on an otherwise barren landscape. But we tend to focus on the lack of comfort and companionship, and beg the Master Gardener to plant us somewhere else… anywhere else.

When we enter a season of life that places us in unfamiliar terrain that is rough and demanding, we may feel the angled, painful edges of rocks around our hearts, minds or bodies. Sometimes we resist, wilt and give up. Sometimes our stubbornness kicks in and we try to push through even when we know we shouldn’t go in a certain direction. And other times we do what God calls us to do — to completely trust Him, even in the midst of extreme discomfort. This means persevering, praying and waiting on Him for strength, relief, or perhaps replanting somewhere else next spring. When this time of waiting and endurance happens, whether you are in that difficult place for an hour, a day, a month, a year or a decade, you will always come out of it having leaned into Jesus more deeply and more fully than you could have ever imagined.   

Unfortunately, many believers never experience the kind of joy that flows from a heart that accepts God’s sovereignty to either place us in — or allow us to be taken to — a hard place. Sovereignty: now that’s a word you don’t hear every day. While most of us probably think of a monarch, like the Queen of England, the truth of the matter is that no king, president or dictator in history has ever possessed real sovereignty, which is defined as “supreme power and authority.” God tells us in Daniel 4:25 that, “The Most High is sovereign over the kingdoms of men and gives them to anyone he wishes.”

Wow. Think about that. That’s hard for you and me to swallow, isn’t it? What about cruel dictators or embarrassing world leaders? What about our personal pain, like cancer, a job loss, or a failing relationship? What about the dreams God has planted in our hearts that seem to take years to materialize? The trials of life and negative thoughts come at us from every angle and Satan will attempt to use every single one of them to make us doubt God’s sovereignty. That’s because the evil one knows that our belief and unwavering trust in God’s authority and power is crucial for our spiritual “success” in life.
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Imagine being an early follower of Jesus in the years of hardship after His resurrection and ascension. The apostle Peter was crucified upside down for the cause of Christ. Paul was beaten, jailed, bitten by a snake, and suffered great personal affliction on an ongoing basis throughout his life. They, and the countless believers who suffered gracefully in the centuries that followed, all looked to Jesus as a role model for accepting and thriving under God’s sovereignty. When Jesus was enduring the beating, the ridicule, and agony of his trial and crucifixion, He laid His life down of His own accord in willing surrender to his Father’s sovereignty (John 10:18). We know from scripture that He had to be willing to surrender and play the position God had put Him in. Luke 22:42 tells us that Jesus earnestly pleaded with God about the difficult position He faced: “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will but yours be done.”

Waiting, seasons of suffering, and learning to glorify God in the role He’s placed you in is an uncomfortable thing to ponder. If you’re in a season of comfort and rest right now, going back to a place of stone and striving is not something you want to think about. The subject of God’s sovereignty can also be unsettling and even divisive depending on who you’re talking with about it. Yet understanding it, accepting it, and trusting in this attribute of our Heavenly Father is one of the most important keys to finding true peace and joy in this life.

Most importantly, the very existence of God’s sovereignty means we are not in control. Acknowledgment of this fact, and the ramifications of it in our lives, is the most uncomfortable feeling of all. The majority of people spend a lifetime denying God’s sovereignty and struggling needlessly with the stony places. The more they resist being where God has placed them, attempt to control the situation, and try to change things on their own, the more hardness and bitterness take over. And before any of us think that denial is always obvious and overt, remember the last time you worried about something or coveted something… even a little thing. Anytime we allow the desire for something we don’t have, whether it’s a person, a feeling, a healing, an opportunity, or material possessions, to take up more of our thoughts, actions and time than our desire for God, then we are denying His sovereignty.

So the next time you’re upset about something that seems unfair, wrong, unbearable and utterly insurmountable, remember that while you may not understand it, God is sovereign and His knowledge, foresight and complete love for us far surpasses anything that our very, very small minds can fathom. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”

When you stop fighting the place where He’s planted you and you learn to depend on Him for every nutrient of life, you will blossom in the hard places, bringing the fragrance of hope and the color of God’s glory to the many struggling around you. When we root ourselves in love, we will then emanate that love to others, no matter where we’re planted (Ephesians 3:17-19).

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A friend of mine once told me that the mind is like a muscle. Let it wander however it wants and indulge in whatever it craves, and it will slowly atrophy. The most insidious aspect of this truth is that the decline happens so subtly and gradually over time, we can end up drowning in a pit of bad habits without even realizing how we got there. But stretching the mind, exercising it, and disciplining it will make it healthier, stronger and more agile. This is especially true for the more difficult disciplines, such as spiritual growth, creativity, innovation, or leadership advancement, which can be sabotaged by our minds as soon as our eyes open in the morning. My friend’s advice resonated with me so much, that whenever I get tired of pursuing a truly abundant life, I remind myself over and over that the muscle must be worked daily to stay healthy.
 
One of the most powerful “frenemies” (friend + enemy) of the mind is familiarity. On the plus side, familiarity gives us confidence in relationships and situations we’ve encountered before, boosts our efficiency and performance with routine tasks, minimizes distractions and annoyances, and generally makes us feel comfortable, more relaxed and secure. Thanks to biological familiarity, we eventually don’t notice a bad smell or an annoying noise if it’s consistently present for a long period of time. And thank goodness, we all get more comfortable with routine places, situations and relationships, so we don’t remain as nervous and inefficient at our jobs as we did on the first day of employment. As a vital coping mechanism, familiarity can lower our heart rates and stress levels. Certainly, there are some patterns and repetitions that are incredibly vital and helpful, such as the laws of the universe, rules of math, established traffic patterns and routine garbage pickup. Most importantly, we can rise each day counting on God’s consistent character and unchanging love for us.
 
But then, there’s the other side of familiarity – the archenemy to all the elusive things we chase after, like dreams, ambition, romance, achievement, creativity, innovation, and dynamic relationships. When familiarity runs amuck and crosses over from helpful into damaging, we end up experiencing boredom, complacency, laziness, depression, anxiety, hopelessness, contempt, and mental or emotional apathy. When familiarity takes over our hearts and minds, we can become blind to what’s right in front of us (hello? the glasses on your head or the “lost” keys on the counter) or numb to those who are supposed to mean the most to us, like our spouses, family or friends. There are times I get so bored with my routines that I don’t want to do them anymore, like brushing my teeth (don’t worry, I still do), and the same effect happens with people or situations we encounter on a frequent basis. In conversations, we start filling in the blanks in our minds when a familiar person talks, assuming that we know what he is going to say. With material possessions, we begin to devalue them as they become more familiar. A new piece of technology that you couldn’t put down last month, may not even be in your hands this month. And worst of all, familiarity can lull us into such a comfortable state that we run back to unhealthy situations over and over.
 
As I pondered how familiarity has overrun a few important things in my life, I realized that the following five “A’s” have been critical in helping me continue to chase my dreams, keep my relationships thriving, and not get stagnant in my pursuit of God. Oswald Chambers, the great turn-of-the-century theologian, once said, "Human nature, if healthy, demands excitement; and if it does not obtain its thrilling excitement in the right way, it will seek it in the wrong. God never makes bloodless stoics; He makes no passionless saints.” And that’s the essence of our battle with familiarity. As humans we can’t help but experience familiarity, but we also detest being bored and stagnant. So often, the biggest mistake we make in life is allowing the allure of familiarity’s comforts and false security, to keep us from the very adventure God has called us to take, and instead we fill our natural longings for excitement with counterfeit dreams or fleeting thrills requiring less personal sacrifice, character refinement, time, or discipline. So here are some safeguards to help us prevent familiarity from leading us to make one bad decision after another.

The Five A's to Master Familiarity Before It Masters You
 
Awareness – When we exercise our minds daily to cultivate a fresh experience and perspective regarding the most important people and frequent situations in our lives, we train ourselves to ask more questions, listen more carefully, operate less on previous assumptions, and perhaps most profoundly – to simply become more observant of the little things. One of the biggest dangers in relationships is thinking that you know how someone will behave or what they will say based on your experience with them. Challenge yourself to truly listen to them like you would a new acquaintance. Look at the world around you on your way to work and push yourself to see “stories” in everything. If you woke up having a story to tell (about that dream you had last night, or why you’re not feeling well, or that idea that won’t leave your mind), then remember that everyone else you encounter has one as well. Make it a goal every day to get people to tell you their stories. Watch the rain fall or the clouds move across the sky just to hear God tell you His story through creation. He’s talking if you’re listening. "Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.” Jeremiah 33:3
 
Appreciation – When we have a posture of being thankful for every situation and person – after all, even the challenging ones give us an opportunity to grow – our perspective radically shifts from being complacent (the evil twin of familiarity) to being open and receptive. When we are hopeful, science proves that we are more likely to be creative, innovative, and adventurous. If you want to take on the world, you have to appreciate it, warts and all. “Give thanks in all circumstances…” 1 Thessalonians 5:18
 
Acclimation – I was reading a blog about marriage recently and the author, who is a psychologist, said that familiarity doesn’t breed contempt, but poor acclimation does. In other words, getting more familiar with your spouse (or any other relationships) is a good thing because you’re more likely to be yourself. But as you become more familiar with him or her, you can choose to acclimate in ways that are honorable or dishonorable. Habitual responses to things we don’t necessarily like don’t have to be unhealthy, but it does take work — one decision at a time – to build the right pattern of responses and behaviors. This is how we acclimate well. Familiarity that increases alongside the hard work of love, respect, openness, communication, prayer, and appreciation, prepares us for rewarding adventures with the people we love. "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32
 
Authenticity – Familiarity can often lure us into doing something over and over out of habit, not because we actually want to do it. Checking in with yourself about repeated behaviors and routines to see if you authentically want to do them is crucial. Are you being authentic with others, or are you just going through the motions? Familiarity can also cause us to transfer our own perceptions, status, abilities, and beliefs onto someone else we’re close to, making us utterly blind to who they really are. Such was the case with Jesus in his hometown of Nazareth. At the beginning of his ministry, they received him warmly. Who wouldn’t like a hometown hero who turns water into wine? But when he proclaimed Himself to be God and that He was the fulfillment of the Scriptures, they were incensed and threw him out of town. Why? Because they transferred their own life situation onto His. He had been one of their own – like them in so many ways. They were so familiar with his parents, his upbringing, and his socioeconomic status that they assumed he was just like them. So they wholeheartedly and instantly rejected the idea that one of their own could be the long-awaited Messiah. They did not even give Jesus a chance to be His authentic self. When you practice authenticity and not conformity, you are less likely to project yourself on others. 1 Chronicles 29:17 says that God searches and tests hearts for integrity. The Message version puts it this way: "I know, dear God, that you care nothing for the surface—you want us, our true selves—and so I have given from the heart, honestly and happily."
 
Activity – Sometimes we can spend so much time talking about our lives, that we don’t end up doing anything to move them forward or change things we don’t like. Just the habit of talking without action can become overly familiar. Building in a pattern of activity – even if you implement only small steps – to pursue life improvements and spiritual growth, helps prevent you from becoming stagnant or drawn into negative self-talk and gossip. The Bible clearly indicates that a lack of activity and fruitfulness in our lives can lead to gossip and wasting time. "Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not.” 1 Timothy 5:13 Plus, if you don’t actually practice doing anything, then you certainly won’t get anywhere.
 
Most of us wake up every day hoping that something will pleasantly surprise us. But many of us miss those surprises because our eyes are fogged in with familiarity. Inspiration doesn’t just appear on the mountaintops of life, it more commonly dwells in the ordinary valleys and typical conversations we encounter on a daily basis. We only need to train our eyes to see it.
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