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Glimmers in the Fog

Finding Glimpses of Divine Providence in Everyday Life
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Does God Care If I Eat Chocolate?

5/30/2018

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God Cares about what we eat; chocolate too
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God Cares About What We Eat, including Chocolate
Ahhh, the beginning of Summertime… I realize that most of the country has already experienced temperatures above 70, but here in Maine, we are just now getting a taste of warmer days and colorful blooms in the garden. Today, I am simply determined to take my desk outside, which means wearing a sweatshirt and draping a beach towel across my legs while I sit in the shade. But as a Mainer, or should I say, “Maine-nah,” I am incredibly grateful for today’s abundant sunshine even if it’s only a balmy 68 with a cool breeze.

In a few short weeks, however, I will not be able to hide under my favorite baggy sweatshirt or the bright beach towel, and so begins my annual spring slim-down-torture ritual –– okay, I have really procrastinated this year, so make that my early summer torture ritual. This is the first year I’ve had a blog, so now you get to hear about it … and hopefully hold me accountable. After all, I need to feel the potential of public scrutiny if I were to fail and end up digging through my pantry like Jack Sparrow with his latest treasure map.
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From those Trader Joe’s chocolate bars (dark chocolate with pecans and raisins!) to the Humpty Dumpty dill pickle potato chips (it’s a Maine thing), there are all kinds of junk food treasures waiting to be discovered in my moments of greatest weakness. But through the years of pursuing Jesus, I have come to realize my weakness for food (and believe me, it’s a big one) is not just a matter of willpower, or hormone levels, social indulgence, a misplaced avenue for comfort, or any of the other hundreds of reasons that all the diet gurus holler about. Of course, all of those factors are certainly real contributors to my cravings, but in the end — at least for me — I’ve learned that they are a smokescreen hiding the real truth. Like any set of distractions, they have to each be identified, understood and dealt with in order to see and conquer the real culprit: selfishness.

Now, before anyone sends me hate mail, I am absolutely not minimizing the real biological issues that can cause people to overeat. And this post is not about weight — not at all. I am a firm believer that someone can be healthy, spiritually and physically, and not necessarily be at the “ideal” weight listed on the CDC’s recommended guidelines. It’s also not about legalism or about following a set of rules and punishing yourself for breaking them. And finally, this post is not about banishing naughty foods (or any foods for that matter) from our diets. This message is strictly about our heart before God and what He asks of us. It applies to all things in life that tempt us, but I just happen to have a weakness in this area.

So now that my disclaimer is out of the way, the bottom line (sorry, I couldn’t resist the pun) is that if you are a follower of Christ, then you are His dwelling place (I Corinthians 3:16-17). His temple. His abode. He has plans for you (Jeremiah 29:11 & Ephesians 2:10), even if you can’t see them or have any clue what they are right now. He has things for you to do here on this earth until one day He calls you to your eternal home. Everything you do in life requires your body. Even the least physically demanding of spiritual endeavors, like studying and meditating on Scriptures, requires your body’s participation in some manner. So God makes it clear that we are to keep our temples in the best shape that we can for His use and His glory. Jesus paid the ultimate sacrifice to set us free, which means we are not to be enslaved to anything — and that includes food (Galatians 5:13). Ironically, the most visible and identifiable thing about us — our bodies — is not designed for us. It is designed and equipped for God and His purposes.

As you might have guessed by now, the answer to the question posed in the title of this post is both yes and no. Does God care if we eat a piece of chocolate or indulge with an In-N-Out burger (another delicious favorite)? No, I believe He doesn’t care, as long as those “gifts” are not fruits born out of our selfishness. But I think He cares immensely when we let any kind of pleasure dominate our heart’s desires long enough and often enough to jeopardize our ability to fulfill our callings or numb our ability to find our greatest delight in Him. So while the specific type of pleasure might not matter (as long as it is not an inherently sinful one), our dependence on — and the pursuit of — them matters during every second of our lives. This is because the very presence of God, the Holy Spirit, may ask you to use your temple to serve Him at any moment. He is with you and capable of being glorified in everything (I Corinthians 10:31) that crosses your lips, slips through your fingertips, captures your attention, and motivates you to move. We are called to view every detail of life as an opportunity to worship God. Romans 12:1 tells us that whatever we do, we should present ourselves as living sacrifices. I love The Message version of that passage, which says, “So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life — your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life — and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for Him.” We are to embrace and receive every good gift, but not overuse or glorify the gifts available to us. As Paul says, not every good gift is beneficial at all times.
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My early summer diet is a course correction. A spiritual journey to remind me that while all of God’s gifts are meant to be enjoyed, I have enjoyed a few of them a little too much through the long winter months. While I feel the diet the most in my growling stomach, it is really all about the heart. It’s a way to reset my compass to His heading and not my own direction, which left unchecked would eventually leave me physically, spiritually or emotionally unfit to serve Him in the full capacity He created me for. Sometimes God purposefully gives us physical limitations to better serve and glorify Him, as He did with so many of our Biblical heroes. But as the ultimate Sovereign over my life, that decision is exclusively His prerogative and not mine. To allow selfishness to erode and sabotage my body, which is His temple, is no different from rejecting His best for my life… a usurping of His authority. It is essentially creating limitations He didn’t intend. Resisting chocolate (when needed) is always going to be hard for me. I don’t ever expect that to change. But knowing that the simple act of doing so is spiritual training to keep me in “fighting shape” for the King of kings, is one of the sweetest motivators I can ever imagine.
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Part 2: What Does God's Voice Sound Like?

5/23/2018

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Voice of God with HeadphonesHover over image to share on Pinterest
Last week’s blog post highlighted the ways God commonly communicates with us. To get the most out of this post, I would suggest reading part 1 first. 

​Have you ever misinterpreted an email from a friend or co-worker? It’s such a common issue, I bet every single person on earth who uses email has made inaccurate assumptions or has misinterpreted its contents. Then we all know what happens next. Either we sit and stew on it because we don’t want to call the sender to clarify the meaning, or we do the most dreaded thing we all know we shouldn’t do (but we do it anyway)… we hit the reply button and send back a completely inappropriate response based on what we assume we heard. The bottom line is that mistakes happen when we assume. (And, yes, I think the acronym for assume fits, but I won’t repeat it here. Ahem.)

This is kind of how listening to God can be. When He speaks to us, it’s not like receiving a phone call from your best friend, who you can often recognize just by the way she breathes or clears her throat. With the Almighty’s voice, there’s no audible tone or style to hear. No inflections to indicate humor or anger. In short, we have so little familiarity with what He’s saying — either because what He’s asking us to do is so surprising or because we’re simply new or out of practice with hearing His direction — that after He’s spoken, we may spend minutes or hours second guessing what we’ve heard. We can make some radically wrong assumptions. We can jump to conclusions. Sometimes we miss out on a blessing because we were too unsure to act when He spoke.

As you become more and more familiar with His unique voice in your life, which happens over a long period of time and with frequent practice, you will begin to clearly experience for yourself the signature characteristics, or hallmarks of His voice. These are in no way to replace the step of seeking wise counsel and Scripture for confirmation of what He’s saying (see last week’s post), but they are helpful in knowing what God’s voice sounds like and understanding His nature. While God is too big and simply unfathomable to pin down as a personality type (Romans 11:33, Isaiah 55:9), there are clear indicators of His voice that can be gleaned throughout Scripture.

When the many Biblical accounts of God speaking are viewed holistically together, certain patterns, tones and defining characteristics emerge. Just as important, the hallmarks of what is NOT His voice also materialize out of the preponderance of evidence in Scripture. Whether it’s your own voice or Satan’s sinister attempt to distract or misdirect you, knowing what is not God’s voice is equally important.

He pushes us out of our comfort zone, without imparting fear, a sense of foreboding, or worry. Only the wisdom of an omniscient (all-knowing) God who loves you beyond your wildest dreams and knows you better than you know yourself, could simultaneously ask you to step out of your comfort zone while giving you a shot of unexpected motivation and courage. When God asks you do something, most of the time it will be something that you would not naturally want to do or think to do. Whether it’s a simple command to talk to a stranger or sell something you value more than you should, when God speaks it goes right to the heart of the matter and the Holy Spirit gently but insistently pushes you to obey. And as you step out on faith, strength, courage and peace flow. Philippians 4:6-7 makes it clear that when we are communicating with God, He gives us peace, even when the task at hand is difficult. Jesus said His peace is to rest upon us always in John 14:27. He wasn’t ambiguous when He said that. If something is from the Holy Spirit, there will be a sense of peace.

He uses repetition to get His message through the noise of life and emphasize His point. When the Holy Spirit is trying to get your attention, He often sprinkles the message in front of you repeatedly in multiple channels. Two or three people mention the same Bible verse to you. You sense His leading  in prayer about something and then the sermon on Sunday contains almost the same message. When you start noticing something repetitive start paying very close attention. In the Bible, Jesus repeated things of great importance multiple times. I researched online how many times concepts are repeated in the Bible (because it is so, so many), but I couldn’t find a specific number. (Hmmm… that would be a fun project!) But I did find this post from Jon Bloom on the most repeated command in the Bible — God wants us to be happy. Not in the transitory earthly sense of happy, but as in fulfillment, delight and joy, overflowing with thanksgiving. Now that’s a repetitive statement I love hearing about!

His direction can always be confirmed, but not through circumstances alone. A message from God will always line up with Scripture. If it doesn’t fit with the Bible, then dismiss it immediately, no questions asked. Don’t even entertain the thought or search for a different verse or interpretation to justify what you think you’ve heard. Confirmation can also come through wise counsel (Proverbs 11:14 and 12:15), especially if it has to do with a decision that may not be a question of right or wrong, such as whether to accept a new job offer. The Word tells us to seek the counsel of mature, grounded believers to pray with us and ask for discernment. But I’ve learned the hard way, as have many others, to never rely on circumstances alone to confirm what you think God said. Evaluating the circumstances in your life and using your own assessment to make a decision based on that alone is no better than reading tea leaves or flipping a coin. In other words, no matter how tempting, don’t do it. Charting a course for your life based on what’s happening around you is one of Satan’s best deception tools for Christians because he can veil himself in light and never be noticed until it’s too late.

He usually delivers immediate instructions with authority, but not in a compulsive, frantic, random or bargaining manner. While God still chooses to anoint some with the gift of prophecy, most of His communication with us is about everyday dependence on Him. Usually He gives us just enough instruction for the next step ahead. He tells us what He wants for us to do right now. This is in line with the rest of the Bible. He gives us new mercies each morning, just for the day ahead. As we learn to listen for His voice throughout the day, what He asks us to do will become clearer over time. As we obey in the small things, He gradually gives us bigger things. On the other hand, Satan, or sometimes our own sinful desires, will throw random or frantic ideas at you that are compulsive or hyper-urgent. Satan loves to give you this intense feeling of pressure, like a used car salesman making you believe that if you don’t act now you’ll miss out on the best deal of your life. James 3:17 says, “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.” What an excellent verse for testing everything you hear!

He speaks to bring conviction and freedom, not guilt. Learning the difference between the  conviction of sin and guilt is crucial to distinguish God’s voice from the enemy’s. The Holy Spirit will search your heart, especially in prayer or in a moment immediately following a sinful act, and He will make you long for repentance. He will make you want to ask for forgiveness. Guilt is the feeling that you are condemned, a screw-up, worthless, ashamed, or unforgivable. Think of conviction as a revelation that you’ve done wrong with a clear desire to repent. Guilt is foreboding, heavy feeling not being able to be free to move on and forget about your sin. Guilt will chain you down spiritually and eat away at your joy. Guilt will literally rob you of being effective for Jesus. No matter what you’ve done wrong, there is forgiveness in Jesus. Believe it. Ask for it. Receive the gift and move on. Any voice that makes you want to stay in the pit of guilt is coercing you into rejecting God’s best for you. Romans 8:1 gives us this clear, matter of fact pronouncement: “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

His speaks to draw you closer to Him and to love others more than yourself. He will never give directions that promote human effort, glory, or favoritism. In Matthew 22:36-40, Jesus was asked about the greatest commandment. He replied with, “And he said to him, ‘you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” So, God is never going to tell you to do anything that would tear down others or elevate yourself above others. And I am finishing up our list with this one because it is the Scripture you should run through your head the most when you think you hear God ask you to do something in the moment, such as “help that elderly lady with her groceries.” According to Jesus’ words, you have all the confirmation you need to proceed. Other times, of course, you need to wait and seek more specific confirmation. But, again, remember that no message from God is too small to ignore. Even the smallest things could be the most significant in either someone else’s life, or even your own spiritual growth. You may think that He’s giving you “junior” level work to do, but He sees it as building blocks to a plan that He may take decades to unfold in your life. Trust Him. Listen to Him. Walk and learn with humility and a teachable spirit (Proverbs 15:31-33).

One of my favorite authors, John Piper, said God speaks to everyone — not just those who believe. This may surprise you, but here is what he said, “Oh, unbeliever, God is speaking to you in your pain to warn you, and God is speaking to you in your pleasure to woo you.” On the other hand, for believers, Piper says the sacrifice of Jesus changes everything. It turns our pain and suffering into instruments of sanctification, which simply means the process of become more holy… more like Jesus little by little. It turns our moments of pleasure into reminders to praise Him and faint glimmers of the eternal joy that awaits us one day. In either case — in suffering or happiness — the Holy Spirit enables us to live supernaturally by displaying characteristics that could only be from God: humility, joy, gratitude, contentment, and hope in all circumstances. Living in this manner is one of the greatest ways we can speak to others about God. When we become vessels, albeit imperfect ones, that show glimpses of Jesus in everything we do, God speaks through us to a world that so desperately needs to hear Him.

If you still want to go deeper about hearing and following God’s voice, I suggest Priscilla Shirer’s book, Discerning the Voice of God. There is also a Bible Study with companion videos.
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What Does God's Voice Sound Like? Part 1

5/16/2018

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Voice of God Sounds LikeHover over image to save to Pinterest
Jesus said His sheep will know His voice. For years, that foundational truth frustrated me. Despite the fact that I made a decision to follow Christ at the age of seven, it would take me another 20 years or so to get to the point where I could unequivocally say I had heard God’s voice. Now maybe I am just a slow learner, or stubborn, or lacked belief that He actually wanted to speak to me, but most of my spiritual efforts in my twenties were spent vacillating between trying to hear God and figuring out what in the world was wrong with me that I couldn’t. So if you’ve ever wondered what God’s voice actually sounds like, or if you’ve reached the desperation point in your quest to listen for the “still, small voice,” be encouraged that He does want to respond to you.

But here’s the A-ha moment: His voice may not come to you in the way you’ve imagined it would, nor will it be what you expect. And that right there was my biggest problem for two decades. I was looking for God to communicate with me in a certain way, and it wasn’t until I began to do four critical things did He begin to slowly whisper truth to my spirit. First, I had to lay aside my preconceived notions, expectations, and desires. I had to realize that God does not fit in the box I designed for Him in my mind. Second, I had to come to grips with my unbelief. Yes, I loved God, but I had tucked away some serious doubts in my heart. It was time I jumped all-in to trust Him with my life — in every area. Third, I had to learn to listen. My prayer life had been entirely about me talking to God. Being still for me was like asking a five-year-old not to fidget when she has to pee. Fourth, I had to learn to wait… patiently. Corrie Ten Boom, an author and Holocaust survivor, once said, “If you want to hear God’s voice clearly and you are uncertain, then remain in His presence until He changes this uncertainty. Often much can happen during this waiting for the Lord.” I’ve now learned that sometimes I need to wait a long time (i.e. days or weeks) and press into Him before He’ll speak, but the beautiful thing is that the waiting has now become a peaceful time of learning to trust.

So if our expectations about God’s voice can hinder us from hearing Him, how does He speak? How will we know if it’s Him? Thankfully, that roadmap is clear, but we have to prepare for the journey. AW Tozer said, “God will speak to the hearts of those who prepare themselves to hear.” And I would add, He also speaks to those who are purely motivated to draw close to Him for the sake of knowing Him better for who He is, versus being motivated simply to hear His voice. God doesn’t have the patience for us when we desire the glamorous. If we envision ourselves hearing His voice like Charlton Heston did in The Ten Commandments, or if we long for something big and dramatic so we can feel important, the Spirit of God will not speak. God wants us to desire Him, to want His presence, to understand His character and His heart, to glorify Him, and to love Him with 100% of our being… just because. God is about the relationship with us, first and foremost, not the plan. So with that in mind, we must start with — and become deeply grounded in — the primary voice He speaks in: The Bible, which makes His voice available to us 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

The Word speaks loud and clear. And there are no shortcuts on this. Period. You will never hear Him clearly and profoundly through other means if you don’t first learn to hear Him through Scripture. When we saturate our hearts and minds in the Word, we learn to hear what His voice sounds like. To identify God’s voice, you must first learn to see your identity as being in Christ, and that is accomplished by absorbing Scripture. When you go into God’s Word, expect to meet up with Jesus. You’re not reading for reading’s sake. Instead, you’re training yourself for an encounter with the living God. This was one of my biggest mistakes. I wanted to jump right to hearing God independent of any other means. I both underestimated and ignored the Bible in terms of being an intensely personal, relevant voice to my heart. A serious error on my part, because I didn’t realize the truth of Hebrews 4:12: “For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” Because the Word is alive, it searches your heart by the power of the Holy Spirit, making it possible for Scripture to be miraculously and specifically customized just for you and what’s going on in your life… right now. God speaks most commonly through His Word, and if you believe that fact, approach it with that expectation, and be patient, you will not be disappointed.

Thoughts that are not yours may be God’s. Sometimes God speaks by planting a specific thought in our minds. This happens to me in prayer — sometimes when I am actively listening and being still and other times when I am talking to Him with anticipation and willingness to be interrupted. However, if I am talking incessantly and without a conscious desire to be interrupted, then the Holy Spirit cannot get a word in edgewise because my mind is drowning everything else out. This same heart posture also allows God to talk to you throughout your day. If you get in the habit of leaving your “ears” open, as if He is ready to speak to you anytime, then He will invade your thoughts more and more. When He does give you a thought, it may suddenly come out of the blue or it may be a gentle tugging at your heart that builds in intensity. It is almost always something you would not naturally think or be inclined to notice or do on your own (I Corinthians 2:14). And how do you confirm that it is indeed God giving you the thought? Ask yourself if the thought lines up with Scripture. If there is anything about it that contradicts Scripture then it is not from Him. For example, if you had a thought out of the blue that you should buy a new car, but you are already in significant debt and/or you are not currently offering the Lord a tithe on a regular basis, then that thought is not from God. This is one more reason to read, memorize and meditate upon Scripture. The Holy Spirit will spontaneously bring certain verses to your mind as a way of directing you in the moment. In next week’s blog, I will cover the hallmarks of God’s voice, which will include the typical characteristics, style and tone of His direction in our lives.

There are many ways God can speak to us, but there are five more that came immediately to my mind.

A deep-seated, inexplicable “knowing” can overcome you. There are times when the Holy Spirit may saturate you with an overwhelming peace about a decision or an unwavering conviction about a situation with an outcome that would otherwise be completely unknowable. This has very rarely happened to me, but when it does, the joy and peace of the Holy Spirit’s presence and assurance is almost palpable, as well as being the polar opposite of what I should be feeling (or what my mind tells me to feel) at the time. The Bible speaks frequently about the eyes of the heart, and how only the Holy Spirit can cause us to see God’s truth and experience His grace.

All creation sings His praise and sometimes we can hear it. When we have the ears to truly be still and listen, we can see and hear God in nature every day. Whether in the awe-inspiring power of a storm or the serenity of a mountain lake, if we take the time to pause and invite God to reveal Himself, He’ll show up every time. The inspiration may not be directional or specific in nature (although it can be personal if He wants it to be), but the sweet trill of bird’s song or the sheer vastness of the ocean can speak to us of God’s sovereignty, attention to detail, creativity, and so much more. In Luke 12, we find Jesus telling the disciples to consider creation… the lilies, the birds and the grass. God takes care of them in ways that should blow our minds, and yet “of how much more value are you than the birds…  But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, you of little faith!” Next time you are outside in some glorious place, pull out your phone and use a Bible app to read Psalm 29.

Divinely directed dreams and visions still happen today. Acts 2:14-21 makes it clear that God speaks in this manner and will do so with increasing intensity in the last days. This has only happened to me maybe twice in my lifetime, but I know other believers have experienced this more often. Dreams and visions are God’s version of virtual reality. With life-like splendor, He may stir your creativity, motivate you, warn you, or invite you into spiritual warfare through your dreams or a vision. Because of the intensity of this kind of communication from God, you may be left feeling a little shaken or awed, as was Moses when He saw the burning bush. But, take comfort that God is with you and run to the Word to test what you experienced and seek God in prayer for final clarity or direction.

God plants ideas and changes our minds… a lot. Don’t ever underestimate a change of heart, a new thought process, or a sudden burst of innovation or creativity. Over and over in Scripture God directly intervenes in human behavior and stirs a sudden heart change or perspective shift — all without the person’s awareness. So the next time you realize that your attitude (or someone else’s) has improved or your desires have shifted to become more Christlike, take a moment and thank God for speaking into your life. Psalm 37:4 promises us that if we delight ourselves in God, which means we find our source of joy and meaning in loving Him, that He will put into our hearts His desires (and slowly remove ours). If you want to know God’s direction, then pursue knowing Him above all else, and His voice will ring loud and clear in your life.

There is the outside possibility of an “outside” voice. What I mean by that, is the Bible makes it clear that God has been known to literally speak audibly to people. In other words, a real bonafide voice that your natural ears can physically hear coming from outside your own head. So because the Word indicates it can happen, we leave the option on the table. That being said, I’ve never met anyone who’s experienced this, and most Biblical scholars believe that it is very rare due to the Holy Spirit’s presence with believers since the resurrection. Before Christ, the primary way to hear from God was through a supernatural, physical experience, such as a pillar of fire, a burning bush, an audible voice, an angel, etc. But with the gift of the Holy Spirit, God himself has taken up residence inside believers. We all love reading about the physical appearances of God, especially in the Old Testament, but instead of longing for that to happen to us, we should instead praise Him that Jesus is now with us, speaking into our lives 24/7.

There’s more about the voice of God coming next week! In part two of this post, you can read about the hallmarks, or key characteristics, of God’s voice. Plus, I’m going to reveal the telltale signs that a voice or thought is NOT from God. These counterfeit voices are important to understand, especially if we rely on the one that trips us up the most — using circumstances alone to determine His direction for our lives. And who hasn’t done that?

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When Things Go Bump In The Night

5/9/2018

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Finding true rest on a sleepless night
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Vessels for God
Nighttime is a wondrous and mysterious thing to me... I was never one of those kids who imagined monsters under the bed, but I can remember thinking that ghosts lurked at my great grandmother’s house. I’ll never forget the night that I forced my mother to come pick me up because I had convinced myself there was a ghost sleeping in one of the guest bedrooms. I think I was about five years old. Apparently, my crying fit was enough to mess up everyone’s plans that night and generate one of those “when you were a kid” stories that our parents tell when we’re older to embarrass us in front of friends or love interests.
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As we grow up and leave behind the ghost stories and fairy tales, we often fool ourselves into believing that we are immune to being afraid of things that go bump in the night. And then we find ourselves in the middle of a rough night’s sleep (or no sleep at all), and suddenly everything seems magnified in the dark stillness. It can feel like we’ve checked our ability to reason at the bedroom door and all the problems of the day seem worse. In our tired minds, a little issue with a co-worker becomes the thing we might get fired over. A simple headache becomes a brain tumor. An unspoken word by a spouse becomes a novel-length saga in our minds, complete with a blow-by-blow dialogue.

We may no longer imagine monsters under the bed or in the closet, but a lack of sleep is one of the surest ways to create monsters in our minds and pain in our bodies. Whether it’s racing thoughts of an endless to-do list, a fixation on a particular worry, or a nagging pain, once we find ourselves awake at that odd hour, we all know how hard it can be to drift back off into the sweet ignorance of blissful sleep. No matter how much our society changes, how many technologies we invent, or number of drugs we develop, nighttime will always have a way of mysteriously magnifying problems in the human mind. But why is that? Why does everything seem worse at night (if you’re not sleeping)?

Is nighttime our enemy? No, but the enemy loves the dark. So having recently endured a bout of insomnia myself, I researched not only the reasons why everything seems worse at night — it’s one of the most common questions asked on Google --  but also what God calls us to do with those sleepless nights. As with every other problem humans face, not surprisingly, the Bible has a prescription for our nighttime woes, and it’s as current and relevant today as it was thousands of years ago.

Nighttime can make us feel helpless and vulnerable, but God gives us a Spirit of power, love and a sound mind. First, you can’t make yourself go to sleep. And the harder you try or the more you think about it, the worse it will get. Second, because you feel abnormal for not sleeping, you naturally wonder what else is wrong with you. Even more frustrating, is the inability to take action on anything in the middle of the night. At 3 in the morning, you just don’t have the same options that you have at 3 in the afternoon. It’s not like you can call your best friend and discuss the issue. You could wake up your spouse, but why bring them into the same mess you’re in? And if you get up and start doing things, you’ll probably worry about waking up the whole house. But 2 Timothy 1:7 makes it clear that we can press onward with the indwelling of the Holy Spirit’s power, love, and a sound mind (or self control in some versions). Prayer and meditation during sleeplessness empower us, destroying the Enemy’s attempt to make you feel helpless, weak and vulnerable. Resting in the truth that God will provide for you the next day, no matter how little sleep you get, can ease your striving, reduce your anxiety, and help you release control over the situation (which is something you don’t have anyway). If you’re looking for verses about sleep to meditate on in the night, here’s a list of 21 scriptures to ponder.

Nighttime can make us feel isolated and insignificant, but that’s exactly when we can feel closest to Jesus. When you can’t sleep and it seems like everyone else is able to, it’s easy to slip into a place of feeling alone, abnormal and disconnected. And there’s just something about the darkness and quiet of night that seems to whisper vastness to us. This is primetime for the Enemy to tell you that you are insignificant to God and that He isn’t going to rescue you. It gets even worse if you’ve been praying and still don’t have any relief. Sometimes He provides miraculous relief and other times God allows us to go through a testing in order to have us press into Him all the more. The more we learn to depend on Him, the more He will make Himself known to us. Psalm 34:18 says the Lord is close to the brokenhearted. James 4:8 says to draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Hebrews 4:16 says, “Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” In my last round of insomnia, God reassured me that He was allowing it to happen in order to teach me to surrender yet another layer of control to His loving sovereignty. So although relief wasn’t immediate, His presence was vivid and His instruction became clearer and clearer. God was providing me with personal, intimate insight into control issues I didn’t even know were hiding inside of me. With this kind of personal attention from the King of the Universe, how could I not feel valued, significant and loved? He knew me before I was born (Psalm 139), and He tells me to fear not because He will strengthen me, help me and uphold me (Isaiah 41:10).

Nighttime without sleep can shine a spotlight on the things that are bothering us the most, but Jesus wants us to focus on Him and lay all our burdens down. During the day we have plenty to distract us from any deep-seated or latent concerns going on in our lives. In fact, our over-scheduled days and the noise of social media and TV can completely numb our hearts and minds, keeping us from addressing things in our hearts that desperately need attention. So while our jobs, school, social outings, entertainment, etc., can occupy our time and focus during the waking hours for an extended period of time, eventually we all come face to face with our unaddressed problems in the middle of the night. Sometimes God uses the distraction-free solitude of night to make us aware of the things we’re not surrendering to Him, unconfessed sin, unhealthy habits, or any other issue that is keeping us from becoming all that He wants us to be or the abundant life He offers. When we’re hanging onto something tightly, the nighttime has a unique way of revealing the pain of that grip. Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30 that He wants to carry our burdens. I love The Message version of that passage: “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

Nighttime triggers our biological drive for self-preservation, but God wants us to trust Him that the timing of our lives is in His wise and loving hands. As sleep evades us, anything that prevents us from finding peace in the night is more pronounced, including physical pain. So everything we feel seems to be serious and appears to require more analysis. This is a nightmare for anyone with hypochondriacal tendencies, but almost everyone has entertained a wild thought or two in the middle of the night. We are fearfully and wonderfully made, so our Creator knows that we can’t help but be concerned about our health. However, He wants us to believe in Him enough to completely rest in the fact that He alone should determine the length of our days. He also wants us to spend the primary aim of our days glorifying Him and loving others well (Matthew 22:36-40). We can’t fulfill either of those commands if we are walking around consumed with worries about ourselves all the time.

This gets to the heart of perhaps the most difficult issue of sovereignty that any human faces. We can exercise, eat right, and take fantastic care of our bodies, but we cannot control the timing of illnesses, injuries, and eventually death. I certainly haven’t found the secret to complete peace with this, but God has reminded me repeatedly that I will find the greatest peace and joy in my daily life, when I don’t dwell on that which I cannot control. This is the great mystery of faith: when we choose to trust God with our lives, He will always help us live more abundantly. When we dwell on that which we can’t control, we will always find misery. Max Lucado says in his book Anxious For Nothing, “We want certainty, but the only certainty is the lack thereof. That’s why the most stressed out people are control freaks. They fail at the quest they most pursue. We can’t take control because it’s not ours to take. Peace is within reach, not for a lack of problems, but because of the presence of a sovereign Lord.” He goes on to remind us about Isaiah who was afraid after King Uzziah died. Isaiah’s problems didn’t go away, but God’s divine power and presence swelled within him to sustain and strengthen him in miraculous ways. God made Isaiah to be a vessel that displays His divine glory through the fractured lines of human weakness. He does the same for us, and that’s what we put our hope in. Not that the problems go away. Not that we can regain a sense of control over our future. Our hope must rest squarely on the deeply stirring knowledge and unwavering belief that God is sovereign and that no matter what comes our way, He will be with us, He will be glorified, and He will somehow use it for good. Trusting in His sovereignty helps us respond to problems not with fear, but with the resolute confidence that helps us exclaim, “I can’t wait to see what He’s going to do with this.” 2 Timothy 4:18 says, “And I know the Lord will continue to rescue me from every trip, trap, snare, and pitfall of evil and carry me safely to His heavenly kingdom. May He be glorified throughout eternity. Amen.” If Paul could say that with such confidence in prison, then we can certainly say it in the comfort of our warm, snuggly beds with our favorite pillow. So next time the night comes without any sleep, take heart that you can still find true rest in the One who never slumbers, never leaves you, and never fails. He is the only constant in a world completely out of your control, and you have the privilege of holding His hand 24 hours a day.
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The Perfect Storm Is No Match For The Perfect God

5/2/2018

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Battles of the heart and mind remind me of a seashore. When the storms come and the waves crash on the beach, layer upon layer of sand is swept out to sea, eroding the soft covering to expose jagged rocks. After the storm subsides, the beach is littered with reminders of the trial. Like monuments to each blow we took in the battle, little pieces of jagged rocks and shells stick out of the newly exposed sands waiting to bruise or cut our feet. Though we can see the storm rolling away out to sea, we sit there shaken and feeling incredibly raw... vulnerable... and wondering how long it will be before another trial comes. In our flesh, we can wallow, sink down into the sand among all the reminders of the pain, and miss the fact that the sun is breaking through the clouds on the horizon. Rest is coming. Healing is coming. But we are still mesmerized by the reminders of pain on the beach scattered around us. 

That’s because it’s monumentally hard to move on from a battle. The wounds are easily reopened until they have time enough to heal. Eventually, there may be scars left as reminders of the pain. Even these can remain tender, causing us to wince when we encounter any circumstance that offers us even the slightest reminder of what we endured. So we tend to pull away, and not walk in those places for fear of hurt again. We fixate on what it was like, recalling the suffering, but more magnified than before. The more we relive the pain and the blow-by-blows, we think we can see the past more clearly. No one can convince us otherwise as we go back in time repeatedly, hoping to gain some new level of understanding or uncover a new reason to find fault. Yet, science proves that belief to be very wrong. Things in the past can never be seen or experienced again as they actually were. Memories are never as accurate as we think they are. Good times get sweeter and sweeter, enticing us to believe that nothing will ever be that good again. And the bad times get worse and worse, making us feel that the injustice and pain were more meaningful and powerful than they really were. Memories are mile markers of important learning experiences, but God never intended them to be relived. But that doesn’t keep us from trying over and over, thus causing us to miss out on living in the moment and the blessings God has for us. Sometimes we remain in the past because we’ve assumed the identity of a “survivor," and we don’t know how to leave that behind for the next phase of our growth. We're afraid of losing the hard-earned identity we formed while fighting through the trial, and we’re scared to death to move on because it might mean new trials or hardships. We think that if we hang on to the remnants of the current trial, it will shield us from going through another one. Other times we remain in the past dwelling on “the way things used to be,” as if God is not capable or doesn’t want to bring us new joys and dreams ever again. 

Paul, the apostle, knew — perhaps more than anyone else other than Jesus — what it was like to be in battles, trials, mental anguish, and even prison. But, despite being able to clearly wear the survivor t-shirt and having many battle scars, he kept running forward to the next phase of his ministry. (Hebrews 12:1-2) And while Paul endured hardships most of us can’t fathom, we face our own version of prisons and battles, which often show up in the form of a difficult relationship, health crisis, crippling anxiety, financial hardships, a dead-end job, and unmet expectations of all kinds. Some of our prison experiences are excruciating as if we have been put in solitary confinement and told that torture will be coming any day. Other prison times are more like a prolonged stay at a bad roadside motel that we can never leave. Sure, we’re not in a crisis, but nothing is comfortable and we never feel like anything is cleaned up or safe. And if we’re not careful, some of our excruciating experiences morph into the long-term bad motel stays, where we think we’ve “moved out” of the crises. Instead, we’ve only moved into a new, slightly more comfortable, but incredibly more dangerous location. The more we linger on that middle ground — trapped somewhere between the crisis and a completely restored soul — the more it feels like home, until eventually we don’t realize that we are riddled with bitterness, hopelessness and frustration. 

While there are times when God allows us to be in a place of extreme suffering, the Word makes it clear that our Savior is never content to leave us in the middle-wasteland once the storm subsides. So why then do we want to stay there? Why do we feel like we can never check out of the bad motel? Why is it that when the time of healing and rest comes, we want to stay in the false, unhealthy comfort zone, rather than moving forward into the restorative grace of God’s green pastures? 

When Paul was in prison, he served God with joy and great expectation in the midst of it. He was able to say with unwavering faith, “Ok, God, I can’t wait to see what you’re going to do with this!” Then when he was set free, Paul would go straight back to living an abundant life (Acts 16:40). He didn’t linger just outside the prison walls and look back at his former place of confinement wondering if he’d be back there again. He never camped out on the roadside on the way back. He didn’t spend his evenings wallowing in the time he’d lost, fearing that it would happen again. Most of all, he didn’t feel guilty that he had been set free from the chains. He gladly accepted the freedom of the moment and purposed in his heart to move into the next phase for God’s glory. 

All too often we come out of a battle or a time of imprisonment feeling shaken and blindsided. Instead of receiving the healing, we get mired in the fear that more trials are coming our way or we drown in guilt for being set free. Satan whispers to us that we are not worthy to be set free and that we deserved that trial. Or he tells us that we should feel so bad about the difficulties of others, that we shouldn't enjoy the periods of rest God gives us. And then there’s the shame we often feel when the trial is over. Whether the storm we endured was a consequence of our own sin or someone else’s, Satan wants us to feel ashamed of what we’ve been through. He wants us to keep it to ourselves, bottled up inside until it festers and threatens to consume all our hope and joy. But Paul’s example challenges us not to be ashamed (Philippians 1:20), but to go forward in the full courage of Christ. He pushes us not to be quitters that stall, sit down, or pout on the road back to healing. Instead, he encourages us to follow Jesus through the hard work required to surrender, forgive, forget, and then step out on faith by trusting Him to take us to a better place. Simply put, Paul tells us we must fight for joy again. In Philippians 4:4, he emphatically commands us to pursue joy. “Rejoice in the Lord always. Again, I will say rejoice.” It is very clear from Paul’s tone that he understands that being joyful and receiving the gifts of the spirit, which include joy and peace (Galatians 5:22), is not easy, nor do they come naturally to us in the face of trials. Joy must be practiced constantly, by pushing ourselves to rejoice and delight in God. By praising Him and thanking Him when we don’t feel like it, we train ourselves in the holy discipline of joy, opening the door for the Holy Spirit to flood us more and more with God’s grace and power. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13) 

Blessings come from every battle. Every prison experience. But only if we allow them to. God will not force his mercies and grace upon us. The question is, will we let our pride trap us in the vast wasteland between the crisis and the healing? Will we let fear tell us what to do, rather than taking up the mantle of victory to move forward? Our culture teaches us that independence and self-reliance are valued above all things. But God teaches us that only by learning to become more dependent on Him — to become living vessels for Him with no ambition for ourselves — will we find the way to true happiness. Every trial is another opportunity to slay our pride and reveal our authentic selves to those who need to see the power of Christ at work in our lives. If we always keep up appearances, the Holy Spirit will never appear to be at work in us to a world that desperately needs to see that Christians are not a bunch of hypocrites or fakes. One of the most beautiful scenes imaginable is that of a person who has known great suffering, getting the opportunity to use that experience to better comfort and support someone else going through the same thing. Paul says in 2 Corinthians 1:3-4: “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” Only the perfect God can take the perfect storms of our lives and turn them into His perfect plan. And when we share these stories of brokenness turned into triumph, we offer our true selves as sacrifices to God, so that others may find hope and healing on their journeys out of the wastelands into wholeness.  

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