Finally, we’ve reached the last week of the election season. Please join me in a collective sigh of relief. Following last week’s post of finding compassion in a culture of condemnation, it seemed only appropriate to talk about finding truth amid the chaos of election season. Even though next Tuesday is a mid-term vote, it seems as though this year's advertising push has been bombarding us at a level usually only seen in the presidential elections. Like most Americans, I am eagerly anticipating the removal of the countless tacky yard signs which take away from the splendor of the fall colors, not to mention finally being able to watch my favorite TV show (The Voice) without the incessant noise and rude volleys between the local candidates. The political rhetoric this season has been much scarier than anything that can be seen in tonight’s spooky movie marathons.

So when the negative rhetoric is more frightening than Hollywood’s thrillers and the fantastical accusations are flying from both sides, how do we see the truth and make decisions that honor God? Recently, I came across a brilliant ray of hope on this topic. Nestled deep among the litany of disturbing news stories, was a The New York Times op-ed piece by Timothy Keller, the pastor of Redeemer Church in NYC. The essay, which was drawn from his newest book about the life of Jonah, is a reminder to Christians that we cannot "transcend politics and simply ‘preach the Gospel.’” It also offers a reminder to the general public that we as believers don’t fit into the stereotypical boxes of America's two-party system.

Because I cannot say it as eloquently as he does, I encourage you to read the essay for yourself. But his two main points are this: (1) God calls Christians to be actively involved in seeking and supporting the truth in our governmental bodies, no matter which political affiliation is espousing the truth; and (2) we should not allow the Body of Christ as a whole to be fully identified and publicly married to one political party because the issues we should fight for often cross party lines or are aligned with no party at all.

In his essay, Keller explains: "So Christians are pushed toward two main options. One is to withdraw and try to be apolitical. The second is to assimilate and fully adopt one party’s whole package in order to have your place at the table. Neither of these options is valid. In the Good Samaritan parable told in the Gospel of Luke, Jesus points us to a man risking his life to give material help to someone of a different race and religion. Jesus forbids us to withhold help from our neighbors, and this will inevitably require that we participate in political processes. If we experience exclusion and even persecution for doing so, we are assured that God is with us (Matthew 5:10-11) and that some will still see our 'good deeds and glorify God' (1 Peter 2:11-12). If we are only offensive or only attractive to the world and not both, we can be sure we are failing to live as we ought."

What I love most about this essay is the way it so beautifully stands out in the sea of polarizing stereotypes about Christians in the media. As one of the most regarded and well-known Christian leaders of our day, Keller used one of the most visible platforms in the world to proclaim that Jesus and those who seek Him in spirit and truth cannot be defined by the constructs and perceptions of humankind. Of course, the challenge is for us to walk in spirit and truth in front of our neighbors, friends, and co-workers and refuse to be hemmed in by anything the world tries to impress upon us. After all, it’s much easier to succumb to the status quo and go with the flow.

If you’re like me, though, you were hoping that Keller would prescribe some particular spiritual antidote to apply at the voting box this coming Tuesday. When we trust a leader, we often find ourselves wanting him or her to simply do the thinking for us, but that’s not what Keller does, nor did Jesus when He was leading the disciples. Like the first band of believers, Jesus expects us to do the hard work of seeking God’s personal and specific direction for each of our unique situations. So as you head to the polls next week or cast your absentee ballot, as a believer you have a responsibility to invite the Holy Spirit to guide not only your mind in evaluating the truth, but also your heart and soul. The election is a call to Christians to pray… a lot. No matter how it turns out, ultimately voting should be about Christians earnestly seeking communion with God, not merely fulfilling a civic duty. John 14:17 says the world cannot receive the spirit of truth, on the other hand 16:13 reminds us that believers do possess the spirit of truth. He dwells inside of us and “He will guide us into all truth.”

While the Roman Empire was governed quite differently than the U.S., Paul had a great deal of experience handling the intersection of faith with politics. As a Roman citizen, he knew firsthand the weight of both his civic duty and his calling from God, so therefore he emphasized the need for prayer. In 1 Timothy 2:1-2 he writes, “First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way.” In referring to “all people,” Paul specifically highlights governmental leaders.

I also love the way the Message version puts our command to be responsible citizens in Romans 13:1-2: “Be a good citizen. All governments are under God. Insofar as there is peace and order, it’s God’s order. So live responsibly as a citizen. If you’re irresponsible to the state, then you’re irresponsible with God, and God will hold you responsible.”

When we honor God by praying for guidance, for our leaders of both parties, and for the people of our nation, we can let go of any worry over the outcome. Proverbs 14:34 says, “Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin condemns any people.” Furthermore, no matter how helpful or how damaging we perceive the election results to be, we must continue to pray for righteousness to prevail and trust in the sovereignty of our Heavenly Father. My go-to verse when I need the reassurance of God’s benevolent, wise involvement in everything that happens on earth is 1 Chronicles 29:11-12: “Yours, O Lord, is the greatness, the power, the glory, the victory, and the majesty. Everything in the heavens and on earth is yours, O Lord, and this is your kingdom. We adore you as the one who is over all things. Wealth and honor come from you alone, for you rule over everything. Power and might are in your hand, and at your discretion people are made great and given strength.” Oh, that all Christians would get on their knees this Election Day and just pray those verses back to our Heavenly Father!

This Tuesday your vote does count, but not just for the obvious patriotic reasons. Every vote counts because Jesus expects us to be vessels for the truth motivated to action in every opportunity. He doesn’t want us to be spectators sitting on the sidelines hoping to go unnoticed any more than He wants us to blindly and abrasively champion the views of a single party line for the sake of convenience or public attention. Jesus wants us to trumpet Him above all else, and the only way to do that is to rise above the rhetoric and vote in spirit and truth.
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We live in a world that is quick to condemn and prone to instant reactionary judgment regardless of moral, ethical, religious, or political leanings. Of course, this reality is nothing new, but there are times when it seems far worse and more suffocating than others. The human tendency to react with judgment rather than curiosity, grace, and compassion has been our collective flaw since the dawn of time. And while this post is not at all about politics, but rather the pervasive temptation of condemnation across all facets of our lives, I’ve always been especially grateful that election season immediately precedes the holidays. The founding fathers selected early November because it followed the harvest period and generally came before the consistent arrival of winter weather. But God surely had a hand in giving them that wisdom because after months and months of public incivility, arguing, and communication saturation, we all need to hear the refreshing themes of “good will toward men” and “tis the season to be jolly.”

Liberal, conservative, spiritual, atheistic, wealthy, poor, straight, gay, married, divorced, traditional, or progressive, regardless of our beliefs and convictions, we are all equally capable of making harsh, rash and horribly inaccurate assessments, casting blame, and applying labels to others. If it wasn’t so damaging, the level of polarization on any side of human preference would almost be comical to observe from a neutral perspective. Like the song made famous by Bette Midler, if we could view ourselves from far, far away it would be so much better: “From a distance, we are instruments marching in a common band… From a distance, there is harmony and it echoes through the land. God is watching us, God is watching us … from a distance.” Though I love the fabulous Ms. Bette, she couldn’t be more wrong. God is indeed watching us, but He is certainly not doing it from a distance. As Jesus did when He walked the earth, the Holy Spirit is here among us, trying to work through us, and is mightily grieved by the judgmental, divisive, and abrasive words humans carelessly fling about as though we have an excuse or license to do so. 

Many Christians are fond of reacting to the all-too-common sin of condemnation by saying things like, “love the sinner, hate the sin,” and do their best to make it clear that they are adept at knowing the difference. But unfortunately, even a well-intentioned cliche like that has become horribly maligned and poorly received by the people who don’t believe they are sinning in the first place. That’s because the truth of the matter is, no one will feel that they are loved as long as you hate anything about them. Love and hate simply cannot co-exist in the same heart space. Embracing the attitude of this expression unintentionally, but inherently, links judgment to the action of loving. It makes offering the love conditional in some manner, no matter how much we argue that it doesn’t. We cannot effectively communicate the fullness of love to someone we disagree with if we are telling them that something they are doing is hateful at the same time. All they hear is the hate in our words, and miss our love, even if it’s really there. 

So for those who long to share the love of Christ with others, what are we to do? I’m not writing about this today because I have the complete answer to that question. Because I simply don’t. I only have some clues to share based on two fundamental truths Jesus taught plainly. First, He commands me to love others as I would myself. Second, God asks me to love Him with my whole heart and mind, which means I must try to live by the convictions of the Holy Spirit. As I seek to love Him that way, He makes it clear through His Word and His voice in my heart what He regards as holy, honoring, and pleasing to Him.

One clue I have in reconciling these two truths is that the focus of each is different. Did you notice that the focal point of the first commandment is others? When Jesus gave the command in Mark 12:30-31, He didn’t add any qualifiers to that statement. We are to love our neighbor, who can be any one of any lifestyle, persuasion, political leaning, or faith. On the other hand, the focus of the second commandment is me and my relationship with God. Not your relationship with God. Not my neighbor’s relationship with God, or lack thereof. The only human being on the planet with a heart that I can look into and evaluate is my own. 

The second clue I found in dealing with this conundrum is how Jesus reacted to people in his earthly ministry. I don’t think Jesus would have ever put a word that refers to a person’s eternal soul, a.k.a. the “sinner,” on the same weight and value as a word that refers to their earthly actions, a.k.a. the “sin.” Jesus loved people regardless of their sins, and He grieved over their sins. He even expressed sadness over the sin of those who would ultimately be responsible for His death on the cross. In Luke 13:34, Jesus said, “Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing.” When I read that verse, I hear longing in His voice, not anger or words of judgment. 

In story after story in the Gospels, we see Jesus embracing people caught up in habitual sin. The woman at the well. The prostitutes. The tax collectors who cheated people regularly. The woman caught in adultery. And so many more. Never once did He focus on their sins. Instead, He focused on loving them as people first. He knew that after they came to love Him in return, the Holy Spirit would deal with their sins in His time. Of course, it is important to note that He never condoned their sins either. And this is the uncomfortable truth about Jesus’ example that many people carry too far in justifying their own sins or excusing the sins of others. It is a very fine line and one that can only be walked in the power of the Holy Spirit. 

John MacArthur said, “Don't ever let your adoration of the doctrine of sovereignty crowd out God's compassion or replace human responsibility with some kind of fatalism. Jesus wept because of this unwillingness to believe. It grieved His heart and it should grieve ours as well.” Jesus demonstrated grief over those who were blind to the truth of who He was and His offer of abundant life. Jesus allowed people to reject Him. He never forced Himself on anyone. Instead, He grieved over their waywardness, stubbornness, and sinfulness. When we are truly allowing the love of Christ to saturate our hearts, the result is sadness, grace, and compassion for those who refuse to believe, are trapped in habitual sin, or lash out in pain. How can we demand Christian morality from people who don’t love Christ?  

For this reason, I think the phrase “love the sinner, hate the sin” should be banned from Christian vernacular and replaced with simply “love people to Jesus.” If we are truly loving people on their journey to Jesus, then we will grieve as Jesus did over their sin and respond not with judgment, but with compassion. Most importantly, we will be removing any personal responsibility for their sin from our vocabulary. Our actions should be contained to the realm of love, not hate. We cannot convict hearts. We cannot change people. Only Jesus can do that, and when they eventually come to Him, He will most certainly take care of their sins with expert timing and surgical precision. And we must resist thinking that what we believe to be the most egregious sins will be first on Jesus’ cleanup list. Letting Him do His work without our judgment is one of the hardest aspects of Godly love.

So when is it right to speak out about sin? The short answer is only when the Holy Spirit leads us to do so, and we better be very sure of that leading. Jesus demonstrated righteous anger when people committed atrocities in the name of His heavenly Father. He drove the moneychangers out of the temple because they were defiling God’s dwelling place, corrupting what is holy, and taking advantage of the faithful. He had strong words for those who prey upon innocent children, the weak, and less fortunate. Likewise, He spoke sternly and unequivocally against “religious” people wrapped up in hypocrisy, hard-heartedness, pride, and superiority. 

When we do consider sharing our anger or simply calling out someone’s sin, the first question to ask is whether or not the situation or person you want to address is within the church body or outside the faith. There is no question that God calls believers to hold each other accountable for sin, but there is a very specific, prayerful process the Bible gives us to follow when doing so. Here is a brief article on the topic from Lisa Harper.

With those outside of the faith, we look to Jesus’ example of leading them toward God gently with love and not judgment. If you suspect God might be leading you to speak out to a person or stand up for a cause, one of the key indicators is whether or not God is also calling you to take action. Words delivered without some kind of Spirit-directed action are rarely of God. Many of the world’s greatest movements to stop corruption, reform broken systems, and help those in need have been started by Christians called out by God to create change. On the other hand, carelessly flinging accusations, harsh rhetoric, and rants on social media do nothing to change society, unify believers, or stop corruption. Venting, accusing, labeling, and blaming don’t contribute anything but negative consequences, while Spirit-led action can change the world. 

One of Billy Graham’s most famous quotes happened in 1998 right after he had attended a dinner with Bill Clinton during the height of the impeachment crisis. When asked how he could behave so graciously to the President during the event, his response was simply, “It’s the Holy Spirit’s job to convict; it’s God’s job to judge; and it’s our job to love.” Until Jesus returns one day, the world will never be as it appears from a distance. And we will always battle the temptation to judge others. But by striving to do what God has asked us to do — and not the things only He can do — we can be purveyors of love rather than accidental carriers of hate.
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We cannot keep anything secret from God. This statement may seem as indisputably clear as lightning in a night sky, but as many of us have learned the hard way, it is anything but obvious in daily practice. With the exception of Jesus himself, many heroes of the faith — both Biblical and modern-day ones — have succumbed to the lie that no one will find out, care, or be hurt by our secret thoughts and deeds. So I’m not sure why any of the rest of us would ever think that we could keep secrets contained within some boundary of mere human design. 

For many people, the idea of keeping secrets from God does sound ludicrous until they end up getting caught by one they didn’t even know they were keeping. Problems can hibernate under the surface of our lives when we erroneously believe that we are immune to certain temptations because of our maturity or previous track record of success. In other cases, the secret issue may have started out as a completely benign habit, indulgence, or conversation, but slowly crept into sinful territory over weeks, months, or years. Furthermore, a secret doesn’t have to be classified as “big” to create significant havoc when it is finally revealed. All too often, it’s the little things that slowly snowball over time, fed by the darkness we keep them in, that end up causing us the most trouble. Regardless of where they come from or why, no one at any level of maturity or belief is immune to harboring secrets in the heart. 

One thing all believers can count on is that somehow, some way, and at some point, God will always unearth secrets from the hearts of the ones He loves. He paid too high of a price for us, has plans too great to fail, and loves us too much to let our secrets burrow down, deepen the roots of sin, and grow tentacles of destruction in our lives either now or in the distant future. Whether it’s the large-scale public exposure of a mega-church pastor involved in an affair or the seemingly small revelation that a boss has been taking all the credit for her staff’s hard work, God is not only aware of every little detail in our lives (Psalm 139:1-4), He promises without exception that He will work things out for our good and His glory (Romans 8:28). That means the truth will always come out… one way or another. 
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In my own life, I have always been amazed to discover how widespread or deeply connected the impact harboring a secret can be. Earlier this year, my pride lured me into keeping what most people would consider to be a relatively minor secret from my husband, but the Holy Spirit used the incident to teach me how important it is for nothing to come between me and my spouse. When God calls people to serve Him, He takes into account far more than the individual, especially if he or she is married. God’s plan for oneness in marriage means that when He gives direction to one spouse, He intends for the other to have a powerful role as well, even if it’s in the form of prayer support only.

Because it’s not only illustrative of my point, but also because it’s embarrassingly funny, I’ll tell you about the secret I attempted to keep. It all started with a knot in my shoulder while my husband was away traveling on business. Since he wasn’t around to work out the kinks in my muscles, I attempted to knead the knot myself with a massage ball … on the wall. By the time I was finished, the knot was better. The wall was not. I didn’t see the damage to the drywall at first, but later in the shadows of evening light, the divots became startlingly visible. As I stared at them in disbelief, I decided right then and there that I needed to fix them myself. I reasoned out that if my husband had done something to damage one of our walls, he wouldn’t have asked me what to do about it first. He would simply repair it. Therefore, I decided that I wouldn’t say anything when he got home, and if he didn’t notice it, then I would take care of the work myself the next time he was away. Key to this prideful decision on my part was that he had warned me before that it was better to use the massage ball on the floor and not the wall. My pride flared again.

When my husband arrived home that week he didn’t notice the wall damage and I smiled secretly to myself as I imagined being the self-reliant homeowner with mad drywall and paint skills. Determined to take care of my own messes, I began the project as soon as he took another trip. Going to the paint store, I had them mix the exact same color shown on my receipt from our last purchase. This was going to be a breeze, I thought. Oh, how wrong I was. After two rounds of divot repair and sanding, I finally began to paint. It was close. Super close. But not a perfect match. And again, the evening light revealed more than daylight, picking up on the slightly different textures of the patch job just below the fresh coat of paint. I went to bed panicked as the flaws in my logic slowly surfaced in the closing darkness. If I couldn’t make it better, I’d not only have to reveal my mistake, but also acknowledge that my repair skills are woefully lacking. Pride whispered to me again and kept me awake for hours.

The next day, I researched paint feathering and blending. I diluted and tested, diluted and tested again. Before long, my advanced feathering technique had left me with a repair zone more than three times the size of the original set of divots. It was better, but it wasn’t perfect. And I went to bed again with my pride singing a cold lullaby.

When he came home again, I held my breath. And once again, he didn’t notice. So I convinced myself that I’d done a great job, even if I could still see the evidence of my secret every evening as I settled into bed. My pride was telling me to forget about it and just move on. But now, the Holy Spirit was the One keeping me awake. Over the next several weeks, I wrestled with my secret. I worked out various conversational scenarios in my head in case he ever noticed my repair job. And finally, one Saturday morning as we talked about several potential home improvement projects, the Holy Spirit’s conviction became so loud in my heart, it was though He were literally yelling at me. “Tell him. Confess. Not later. Now. Now.” Thinking back on it, I absolutely laugh at myself now, but my heart was pounding that morning.

Finally, I obeyed and revealed my secret repair job to my husband. When I traced the outline of my brilliant feathering technique with my finger, he finally saw it and said with a smile, “When did you accomplish this?” To him, it was not a huge deal. Not nearly what I had made it out to be in my mind. To me, revealing my secret was like being able to breathe again. In the coming days, the Holy Spirit began to remind me of how incredibly important it was for there to be nothing between me and the one I share my life with, just as there is to be nothing between me and my Savior.

One of the most tangible ways God shows His love toward us is through the important people in our lives. The love shared between spouses, family members, friends, and our community of believers is a sacred love. It is the way we show the love of Jesus to each other and to a larger world that is desperately searching for authenticity, hope, and tangible evidence of a caring God. Secrets kill sacred love. They destroy God’s plan for sharing that love. They gnaw away at our peace and threaten to destroy our relationships. Secrets are never contained within just one person, no matter how effective we are at concealing them. They remain an obstacle between us and God, and their existence almost always comes between us and someone we are called to love.

Just look at the devastation that gossip can do to a group of friends, a ministry, a work team, or a neighborhood. Gossip is by its very definition a collection of secrets shared among an elite few. Juicy tidbits passed between friends may seem — and feel — harmless, but there’s probably not a person on earth who hasn’t felt the sting of a careless word or an intentional slam from someone they previously thought to be trustworthy.

God has a high standard regarding secrets. In the early church, there was a couple (Ananias and Sapphira) who volunteered to sell a piece of their property to help those in need. But when Ananias brought the proceeds to the church, God revealed to Peter that the couple had lied about the selling price and had kept some funds for themselves. Acts 5:1-11 records the incident and the tragic results of their secret. When Peter confronted Sapphira, he said, “How could the two of you even think of conspiring to test the Spirit of the Lord like this?” Clearly, he was as baffled as we are as to why they felt the need to lie to God about a contribution that was entirely voluntary. This story reveals the very nature of secrets — they usually arise to cover up something that doesn’t make sense or isn’t right in the first place. Luke 12:2-3 says, “But there is nothing covered up that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known. Accordingly, whatever you have said in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in the inner rooms will be proclaimed upon the housetops.”​

The human heart wasn’t designed to be a labyrinth of secrets. Rather, it was created to be a throne room for God Himself. As such, any secret we create will take up space that our Heavenly Father longs to fill up with His goodness, beauty, peace, truth, hope, and love. Psalm 51:6 says, “Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.” When we become followers of Jesus, the Holy Spirit begins the immediate work of transforming us into a vessel worthy of the King, and He will do anything it takes to make us ready to carry that Good News with everyone we encounter. So when the temptation to hold secrets comes our way, we should do as the Psalmist did, examining our motives in the light of God’s expectations. Psalm 51:10 says, “Create in me a clean heart, and renew a right spirit within me.” And when we surrender all our secrets to God, seeking His desires instead of ours, we are able to discover the power of Psalm 37:4 — it is not the desires of our hearts that make us truly happy, but rather God’s.
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Patience is not in the Book of Virtues. Literally. When a reader of my blog recently asked me to write about patience, the first thing that came to my mind was the old adage “patience is a virtue.” But when I pulled out my copy of William J. Bennett’s brilliant compilation of writings on ten timeless virtues, patience — to my surprise — was not one of them. 

Searching the internet to find Mr. Bennett’s rationale behind leaving out the most commonly referenced virtue of them all yielded nothing. Not a single clue regarding its mysterious absence. So I began to speculate why he left it out, and eventually landed on this conclusion: patience is more like a skill than a virtue. Like a trusty, well-used tool, deeply refined patience is the key to unlocking many other virtues. For example, without patience, it’s not possible to fully generate the virtues of compassion, self-discipline, loyalty, and perseverance. (All of those are in Mr. Bennett’s book, by the way.) Sure, we may show trace amounts of these virtues, but they will never completely bloom to have the impact we desire unless we have acquired and practiced the primary skill of patience.

Patience, however, is not a simple tool. Rather it is a complex, multi-use instrument, more like a pocketknife than a hammer or scissors. The patience required while sitting in heavy traffic with a sea of rude drivers is very different from the kind of patience needed while waiting on a dream to come true. Because I have recently written about growing through seasons of waiting (see this post), my focus here will be on the art of mustering patience with frustrating people and irritating situations. But, of course, learning how to have patience in this arena will help anyone exhibit more of it in the many other aspects of life.

Learning to gracefully and compassionately manage our daily frustrations with life and with people — both the ones we love and the ones we can’t imagine loving — is a rapidly dwindling skill in today’s digitally driven culture of instant gratification. According to the Pew Research Center people under the age of 35 have far less patience than previous generations, largely driven by our “hyperconnected” society and its emphasis on immediate satisfaction. Since I am well beyond that under-35 bracket and struggle mightily with patience, these kinds of research reports seem especially alarming.

But regardless of our society’s normalization and increasing promotion of instant gratification, the ability to practice patience is worth fighting for, now more than ever. And the very first step in that fight is to change our very flawed and highly negative perception that cultivating patience is an unpleasant and arduous endeavor. To be blunt: we need to stop thinking about patience as if it is a pain in the butt. When in fact, the process of patience itself is a treasure hunt for the truth accompanied by an invitation from God.

To explain that statement, consider this powerful example from the art world. Harvard art historian and professor, Jennifer L. Roberts, has a brilliant requirement for all of her students. Before they begin writing a research paper on a particular piece of art, they are required to go see it in a museum or gallery and observe it for three hours straight. That’s right, they have to stay in one place for three hours and gaze at the painting or sculpture. She said in an article, “The time span is explicitly designed to seem excessive … At first many of the students resist being subjected to such a remedial exercise. But after doing the assignment, students repeatedly tell me that they have been astonished by the potentials this process unlocked. It is commonly assumed that vision is immediate. It seems direct, uncomplicated, and instantaneous—which is why it has arguably become the master sense for the delivery of information in the contemporary technological world. But what students learn in a visceral way in this assignment is that in any work of art there are details and orders and relationships that take time to perceive. What this exercise shows students is that just because you have looked at something doesn’t mean that you have seen it.” The article entitled “The Power of Patience” is so fascinating, I encourage you to read it in full.

So instead of viewing patience as something that requires waiting, we would do much better to value it as a means to see truth and then react with grace and love. That’s the invitation extended to us every day, whether we’re fighting irritation in traffic or struggling to be patient with a stubborn child. Patience is not at all about learning to kill time with a pleasant demeanor, it is about learning and then reacting with compassion to the truth that is revealed.

Like the art history requirement, imagine if you had to sit at a stoplight for three hours. What would you see? Well, you’d see nothing if you let frustration, anger, and resentment cloud your vision. But if you approached it as a way of seeing the truth with an invitation, you might notice the homeless person standing on the corner. With three hours at the light, would you look into her eyes and venture to have a conversation with her? You might also notice the old man in the car next to you and the deep lines of sadness across his leathery face. Would you roll down the window and ask how he’s doing? What about the punk young adult in the lowrider blaring loud music behind you? Instead of being angry that he’s been riding your bumper for the last five miles and assuming that he would cut you off given the chance, would you get out of your vehicle and ask him what his big dreams are? What would you notice at the stoplight if you had to be there for three hours?

Josiah Royce, the American philosopher, said more than a century ago, “What is then thy neighbor? [Your neighbor] is a mass of states, of experiences, thoughts, and desires, just as real as thou art. Does thou believe this? Are thou sure what it means? This is for thee, the turning point of thy whole conduct towards him.” Belief is required for the cultivation of patience. Whether someone is an atheist or deeply spiritual, believing that there is always a greater truth or another layer to be revealed about someone or a situation is required for anyone to have patience. A casual glance or a quick assessment will never reveal what’s really going on in someone’s life or in a situation, so at the pace life moves, why do we assume the worst and get irritated? Hanging out at a traffic light for three hours isn’t likely to happen, but believing that there is always more than meets the eye will allow us to practice patience and extend grace in situations that on the surface seem to be wholly negative. The old man who’s been driving painfully slow hasn’t heard from his daughter in ten years. The punk kid with the loud music has been told repeatedly that he’s worthless. The homeless lady is a victim of human trafficking and the only way she knows how to survive without turning tricks is to beg for money.

Christians believe that our journey here on earth is to prepare us for eternity with God. So if that is the case, then how does patience cultivated here relate to heaven, where we will have perfect conditions and an endless amount of time? Besides the fact that the Bible commands us to develop patience, I think it has everything to do with taking the time to see the truth in order that we may extend the compassion of Jesus. Being patient with those who need mercy (and we all do!) will help them see the truth of a loving God in our actions. By accepting God’s invitation nestled within every challenging moment, we are living out 1 Thessalonians 5:14 which encourages us to be patient with everyone — not just those who deserve it.

Practicing patience isn’t only good for those we encounter, it’s also good for us. Sitting in front of artwork for three hours is difficult, but paintings are inanimate objects. They don’t have audible voices like screaming children. They don’t have the ability to move like an angry driver cutting you off. They don’t have selfish desires like a co-worker who steals the credit for your job well done. Enduring three hours in a meeting with an irritating person requires an entirely different level of endurance, especially when it is so easy to be blinded by their actions and attitudes. And this is why developing patience and learning to extend compassion is good for us — because we must rely on the strength, wisdom and love of Christ working through us to do so. Loving difficult people and enduring frustrating situations with grace teaches our spirits to abide with Jesus more and more each day. Colossians 1:10b -12 says, “All the while, you will grow as you learn to know God better and better. We also pray that you will be strengthened with all His glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need. May you be filled with joy, always thanking the Father. He has enabled you to share in the inheritance that belongs to His people, who live in the light.”

Jesus saw through the exterior demeanor and behaviors of frustrating people and instead looked into their hearts. He saw the truth of difficult situations and knew what the final outcomes would be. What Jesus was able to see immediately, it may take us hours, days, or even years to see. But no matter how long it takes, we’ll never see any of it if we don’t believe He has a plan for all of it in the first place. Impatience is a blinding weakness that relies on external circumstances to make us feel content, happy, or calm. Patience is yielding that weakness to the power of Christ and allowing Him to make us content, joyful and calm by being vessels for His glory, instruments of His love, and pictures of His gentle peace. 
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It can manifest itself in hundreds, if not thousands, of forms. It can change multiple times a day or persist throughout a lifetime. You might have a handful of them, a single overriding one, or many similar ones. But no matter which ones you have, every single one of them starts with the same potential — to glorify God, or grow out of control into sin, or linger somewhere in between. 

What is it? The innate desire within us to seek. To hunt. To discover. To chase. From bargain hunters and storm chasers to avid collectors and adrenaline junkies, we are biologically wired and rewarded by the chemicals in our brains to seek out something or someone on a daily basis. It doesn’t matter if it’s a small, seemingly inconsequential quest, such as digging through a bargain bin of DVDs, or a life-long passionate pursuit to discover the cure for a disease, science confirms that almost every waking moment of our lives is dominated by a seeking-oriented task. And when we seek anything — truly anything — research has proven that our brains release at least one of four chemicals in the seeking process, whether it takes 30 seconds or thirty days to be fulfilled. 

Every time we seek something, our brains release dopamine once we attain it. Dopamine is what makes us feel good when we get a reward that meets our needs. If you need the weather report, a tiny amount of dopamine is released once you tap the app on your smartphone and find your forecast. Wow, so doesn’t this explain our smartphone addictions? Since it feels good to search and be rewarded, we often feel subconsciously     driven to search on our smartphones for that next hit of dopamine.

The bigger and longer the search, the greater the dopamine reward when it concludes. If you’ve been seeking the love of your life for 20 years, a huge amount of dopamine is released once you think you’ve found him or her. And here’s the bummer about this chemical and why it drives us so crazy: if we cannot get what we seek, the brain will drive us to pursue it until we do. So, depending on how much you’ve longed for something, you may or may not be able to give up the quest easily or without significant frustration. Again, this explains we get so inexplicably mad when our smartphones fail to produce what we’re searching for.

The other chemicals that may be released, depending on the type of quest, level of risk involved, and value of the reward, are just as much double-edged swords. Just like dopamine, these chemicals motivate us to repeat the behavior in order to feel good. Serotonin gives you a validating feeling when you receive admiration and respect from others. So if the acquisition of whatever you’re seeking is recognized by people you care about, you’ll feel even more gratified. Oxytocin is released when we do something that makes us feel like we belong to a group or experience safety in numbers. Lastly, adrenaline is the rush we feel during a quest that provides a significant thrill. 

Without these chemicals, we wouldn’t be biologically motivated to do anything. Our brains are designed to stimulate these chemicals to spur us into action and get our needs met— from basic survival to advanced intellectual passions. In the process, we learn new skills, achieve something, and hopefully perform with excellence, which in turn makes us feel good enough to try even harder next time. Psalm 139:14 reassures us that no matter what our biology, we were designed for — and capable of — glorifying God when we submit to His leadership of our lives. "I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well."

So if God designed our biology, then we can believe He has a plan for using it for His glory. But before we look at the spiritual prescription for keeping our desire to seek under His control, let’s look at the reasons why it can go awry or out of control in the first place. John 8:31-32 says, "So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, ‘If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free’.” The more we get to know Jesus and dwell on the truth found only in Him through the Word, the more our eyes will be opened to the reality of our motivations, desires, and hearts. If we want to tame our desire to seek, then we must view it through the lens of truth, shaped by Jesus. 

Seeking is so innate, so natural, that we usually don’t think about it, until a specific quest latches on to our hearts and minds in an unhealthy way and starts causing problems in our jobs, financial health, relationships, daily productivity, etc. Research has identified the primary psychological reasons driving our desire to seek, hunt, and pursue beyond a healthy level. Here are eight of the most common ones:

• To feel like a winner. Pursuing just about anything or anyone can make us feel like we deserve bragging rights. 
• To distract us or procrastinate in order to avoid something we should be doing.
• To entertain ourselves, fight boredom, or produce a sense of escape.  
• To fill a childhood vacuum or obtain something we felt deprived of for a long time. 
• To experience a sense of magic, destiny, fate. Some people get caught up in a quest until it becomes a mystical experience. Take for example this quote from a bargain hunter interviewed for a NY Times article about the thrill of the hunt. "When there’s something I’ve been eyeing and I see it go on sale, it’s like God just sort of put it there for me… You feel like it’s destiny." 
• To feel superior to someone else or to receive accolades at the culmination of the quest. 
• To help tolerate or forget uncomfortable feelings, such as stress, worry, fear, etc. 
• To fill a need for control as a substitute for something we can’t master. 

The bodies God has given us don’t function well in a vacuum; they were originally created to work in harmony with our souls. That means our bodies work best in partnership with the Holy Spirit. (I Corinthians 6:19) God’s solution for controlling our hard-wired urges is for us to stay within the spiritual guardrails of our brain's biological pathways. We’re all guilty of driving right through some of those guardrails at one time or another. Sometimes we don’t even realize that guardrails are necessary in certain areas of our lives. We erroneously believe that we are immune to small or simple urges. Sometimes we think we are too mature to abuse, stumble over, or become obsessive with a quest. Finally, there are times when we need to humble ourselves and learn to rebuild or strengthen the guardrails to keep us out of trouble in the future. 

One of the Holy Spirit’s key functions is to define, build up, and communicate about the guardrails needed in each of our lives. When He’s allowed to have carte blanche reign in your life, the Holy Spirit beautifully engineers guardrails made just for you, tailored to your own unique brain wiring, experiences, and calling. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, biology, talents, skills, life experiences, mistakes, weaknesses, all come together under God’s intricately designed plan for His glory. But, we have to do our part to participate in this constant construction project in our lives, and that is to surrender and obey continually out of love. While these steps aren’t exhaustive by any means, here are six ways to strengthen and honor your spiritual guardrails.

1. Examine your deep-seated beliefs for any lies you may have fallen for regarding your feelings, needs, coping mechanisms, habits, pride, or any other deceptions that feed inappropriate or overblown quests for something or someone. 
2. Acknowledge and commit to the hard work for as long as it takes to stop seeking when you shouldn’t. 
3. Filter every quest through the Word. If there’s anything in scriptures that causes you to pause about something you’ve been seeking, then stop until the Holy Spirit directs you. 
4. Pray about every desire to seek and how you choose to use your time. When a quest for something is starting to go outside of the guardrails, time is often the first red flag before other indicators like money and relationships. Every minute we are breathing is a gift of God, and although we can’t possibly commit to never wasting a moment, we can strive to keep the vast majority of it within God’s guardrails. Of course, don’t forget that God intends us to enjoy life and build in restful margins with the time He gives us. 
5. Get in the habit of realigning your attitude and perspectives with God’s versus the world’s. One of the strongest drivers of our need to seek beyond the guardrails is a lack of contentment. See this blog post for more about finding contentment. 
6. Listen and obey. The best way to clearly see the guardrails and strengthen them is to obey when the Spirit says, “You’re getting too close to the edge right now. Back up.” When we listen and obey, the Holy Spirit strengthens our desire to seek Him first. 

​Jesus understands our desire to continuously seek because He fully experienced being a human just like us. So that means His brain released the same chemicals ours does. He got a dopamine rush when Joseph told him that He did a good job carving a piece of wood. He was flooded with serotonin and oxytocin when He hung out with the disciples and gave the sermon on the mount. He felt the adrenaline when He stood up and spoke in the synagogue for the first time. Sometimes I think we forget that Jesus was fully human and fully God at the same time. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that He said in Matthew 6:33, “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

​Jesus was wired to seek, the same way we are, so He knows how to lead us away from temptation and into glorifying the Father the way He did. 1 Corinthians 10:13 gives us this assurance: "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation, He will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” We don’t have to be mastered by our biological need to seek. Instead, we can learn to master it by being willing to see — and seize — God’s escape hatch for genuine fulfillment. 
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