Blog: Glimmers in the Fog by Kim Stiver

The Step-by-Step Cure for Anxiety, Stress, and Worry

3/27/2019

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The Bible's Cure for Anxiety Worry and Stress

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Every morning, in less than 30 seconds, I do something that has made me much healthier during cold and flu season: I take a whole-food-based probiotic. Yes, I know the research on probiotics is inconclusive at best, but based on my personal experience, there’s nothing anyone could say to convince me that my probiotic habit isn’t at least partially responsible for reducing my susceptibility to winter-borne illnesses that seem rampant this time of year. Simply put, I have a firm belief that has been put through the test for many years. And unlike all the inconsistent and often conflicting studies on probiotics and supplements, the critical role that belief plays in boosting my immune resistance is backed by scientific proof, of which, one of the most compelling is the placebo effect.

"The placebo effect is more than positive thinking — believing a treatment or procedure will work. It's about creating a stronger connection between the brain and body and how they work together," said Professor Ted Kaptchuk in a 2017 newsletter from Harvard Medical School. Kaptchuk specializes in research on the placebo effect. According to him, having a firm belief that a treatment will work can dramatically improve symptoms modulated by the brain, like the perception of pain. This means that worry and stress-induced symptoms and problems, as is often the case with insomnia and fatigue, have a direct correlation to what we believe. Furthermore, stress is a factor in 75% of all illnesses and diseases, according to the American Medical Association, so we all could benefit from learning how to harness the power of belief.

The key to belief’s power is its ability to control, restrain, and change the brain itself. When our bodies resist doing something (i.e. getting up earlier or working harder) it is our beliefs that drive us to overcome inertia and push toward a goal. The stronger we believe in something, the more likely we will directly affect our brain’s reactions and performance levels — for better or worse. So if we want to spend less time worrying and stressing, then we have no choice but to discover, learn, and reinforce the kinds of beliefs capable of transforming our minds. Of course, deeply entrenched and powerful beliefs are not created overnight. Whether good or bad, all beliefs are nurtured and grown over long periods of time, nourished on the water of experience and the food of daily habits and routines. So naturally, if we want to reduce our tendencies toward worry, anxiety, and stress, we have to start with belief itself. And there is no better place to begin than with Scripture.

Step 1: Understand what belief really is and how it works. Most people, even Christians, think that the verbs believe and hope are interchangeable. They’re not even close. Belief causes hope. Believing in God gives us hope. Hope without a rock solid trust that God will do what He says He will do and that He will do it personally and uniquely for you, is an empty hope. In fact, it’s more like a wish or a dream. No, the kind of belief capable of controlling your mind in the most dire circumstances, is one that unswervingly trusts that God is not only sovereign over your life (Proverbs 16:9), but He is also loving and powerful enough to be involved in — and in control of — every aspect of your days and years on this earth (Luke 12:6-7).
Here’s how a true belief plays out in real life. Something bad happens. Your belief system immediately kicks in to shape how your brain perceives the bad situation. Previous experience and your learned reactions based on your beliefs, compels you to an immediate reaction of some kind — either healthy or unhealthy, kind or mean, skeptical or optimistic. Your brain then begins to strategize next steps based on that framework. The older you get, the more likely you will respond and react more intensely in the same manner over and over. Yet here’s an incredibly empowering and encouraging fact — you have a choice to nourish your beliefs and re-engineer your mental framework. It’s hard. It takes a long time. But God guarantees your success. Romans 12:2 promises us the renewal of our minds, and 2 Corinthians 5:17 says we are a new creation in Christ.

Before you can proceed to step 2, therefore, you must take the time to really evaluate your beliefs. If you really believe God is who He says He is, then you will trust Him. And if you trust Him, then you will be motivated enough to put that belief in action by not worrying and stressing out. It will take time to learn to how to do this, to rewire your neural pathways, to submit to the Holy Spirit’s leading, and to give up your need for control. But don’t despair if you realize your belief is weak. If you recognize it and earnestly seek God in prayer, the Word, and worship, He will be faithful to lead you into a stronger faith.

Administering the Lifetime Cure
The rest of the prescription that cures anxiety, stress, and worry is outlined beautifully in Philippians 4:4-9. Again, it is not a quick fix*, but a lifestyle. Learning to live out this passage in your daily routines, habits, thinking, decision-making, and interactions with others will purify your heart, renew your mind, and completely overhaul your perspective. Here’s the passage from the New Living Translation:
“Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon. Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.”

Step 2: Rejoice and give thanks continually. Yep, it means what it says it means. Do. This. All, The. Time. I even have a gentle, low-volume chime that goes off on the hour to remind me all day to turn to Him with a quick thought of thanksgiving and a 10-second prayer. When we discipline our hearts and minds to constantly acknowledge God, His rightful authority, and His generous hand in our lives — in every circumstance — we open the door for the Holy Spirit’s comfort, guidance, and encouragement. When we thank God, we reinforce our own humility and simultaneously honor Him above our own comfort, control, and pleasure. Peace and calm come from a heart at rest even on a stormy sea. Romans 8:28-39 says plainly that God is for us and loves us more than we can fathom. God doesn’t want us to be agitated, frustrated, stressed, anxious, or burned out. EVER. But experiencing the all-satisfying presence of God begins with praise, honor, and thanksgiving. Do whatever it takes in your schedule and habits to make this happen. Give God a chance to interrupt your day’s agenda, and He will do it. And you won’t be sorry.

Step 3: Pray, pray, pray. Notice that thanksgiving and rejoicing came before making petitions to God. That’s because praising and thanking Him will shift your perspective from yourself to Him. Then when you come into prayer time, the Holy Spirit has an open heart to work with and lead into the throne room. God wants us to lean on Him, depend on Him, and ask Him for help in our lives. 1 John 5:14-15 says that we can have confidence that He hears us and will respond. The more we seek Him for solutions, the greater our peace will overflow. When I have trouble sleeping, one of the practices that helps me the most is to turn every thought that races through my mind over to God and release its care to His oversight.

Step 4: Think about only that which is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or worthy of praise. The final step may be the hardest for some people, but if your brain were like a car, then this step is where the replacement parts get installed and the corroded ones get tossed out. This verse should be the master filter for all your thoughts. Every single one of them. If a thought comes into your head that isn’t true — not a speculation, exaggeration, or even a possibility — then deal with it appropriately, but don’t dwell on it. Whether it has to do with a person or a problem, pray for discernment, but don’t fret, stress, or worry over it. The same goes with the rest of the filtration words. We are called to meditate, ponder, and fix our minds on only things that meet the criteria of this verse. And while ugly, destructive, and discouraging things happen to us, we can choose what we allow to dominate our thoughts.

Genesis 50:20 reminds us of God’s guiding hand and faithfulness toward Joseph, even during times of extreme hardship, like attempted murder and slavery. “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.” And this is where belief undergirds everything. When life gets rough, we can apply this thought filter because we believe that God will work all that happens together for good (Romans 8:28), no matter how things appear — or feel — at the moment. It was more than two decades between the time Joseph was left for dead in a pit by his brothers and when God brought good out of the pain. Likewise, it may take a long time for you to see God’s hand in something difficult, but when you apply these steps faithfully despite your limited vision and in the midst of your struggle, God promises to give you the kind of supernatural peace, rest, and hope that the world around you will notice. And just like Joseph, many people may be kept alive — perhaps for eternity — all because of your willingness to obey and trust even when you couldn’t see. Hebrews 11:1-2 from The Message version says it so well: “The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It’s our handle on what we can’t see."

If you struggle with stress, anxiety, worry, or continuing frustration, be encouraged today that your tendency toward these struggles is NOT a sin. As human beings, we all have weaknesses. God does not hold you accountable for them. Rather, you are held accountable for how you choose to deal with them. Your Heavenly Father wants to use them to showcase the splendor of His Son alive in you. His plan is for you to depend on Him so much that you radiate Jesus through the cracks, broken places, and fault lines. The only question that remains is whether you’re willing to be a trusting vessel for His glory, or if you’d prefer to wear yourself out by trying to hide the flaws and patch up the holes with your own resources. For those of us raised with a DIY, perfectionist, or pessimistic mentality, the prescription from Philippians 4:8 seems to be the equivalent of a personality transplant. And in a way, it kind of is… little by little the Holy Spirit is transforming our minds to be more like Jesus. In the process, we will struggle. We will have setbacks. But as the peace and radiance of Jesus grows ever brighter, our longing and attachment for our old selves will grow dimmer and dimmer until we eventually don’t recognize who we used to be at all.

If you know someone struggling with anxiety, stress, or worry, please reach out to them in love and share this message of affirmation and hope with them. It may be the perfect thing they need to hear today and you are the only person who knows they need it.

*If you are currently taking medications (or need to consider getting medical treatment) to help you with anxiety or stress-related concerns, that doesn't mean that you are not relying on God. Keep taking the treatments you need, along with seeking spiritual growth through the application of principles from God's Word. Healing sometimes takes many months or years, and the Holy Spirit will guide you in the process. He is faithful and He will see you through!

For Further Reflection & Deeper Study
Plus Resources to Help You Tackle Your Anxiety and Stress!

How were you raised to deal with and react to difficult situations and hardships? Can you recall the first time you remember feeling really stressed out or worrying a lot? Was a belief in God a factor in your upbringing or is inviting God into your daily thought habits new to you? How do you think your approach to handling stress and worry needs to change in light of scripture?

Consider approaching a friend who seems to trust God continually through trials and asking him or her to be an accountability partner. Get together over coffee and talk about the ways in which God is leading you to trust Him more and ask your friend to pray for you and check in with you on your progress.

If you are struggling with your belief and trust in God, turning your circumstances over to Him, and finding peace in your life, here are some resources you might want to explore.

Audio/Video Resources
Video Bible Studies on Anxiety on Right Now Media:
- Anxious for Nothing by Max Lucado
- Get Out of Your Head by Jennie Allen
Podcast - Cleaning Up the Mental Mess with Dr. Caroline Leaf
Audio Workshop - Overcoming Anxiety, Worry, and Stress Audio Workshop by Kim Stiver

Further Reading to Help You Beat Anxiety, Stress, and Worry
Believing God, Beth Moore — Direct and challenging, this book will help you get to the core of what you believe about God and whether or not you trust Him completely
Trusting God, Jerry Bridges — For a more theological approach to trusting God, this book is a classic for a reason.
Loving God With All Your Mind, Elizabeth George — Written for women, but applicable for everyone, this book teaches you how to apply Philippians 4 step by step.
Faith Is Not A Feeling, Ney Bailey — Written after a great tragedy in her life, this practical book will help you learn to trust even in the darkest of times.
Switch On Your Brain, Dr. Caroline Leaf — This revolutionary book explains the science behind rewiring your brain to overcome anxiety and negative thoughts. It includes a system for change.

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How to Be Flavorful for Jesus

3/20/2019

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How to be Flavorful for Jesus as Salt of the Earth

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There are some foods that just don’t taste good to me without salt. Take eggs for example, I think I would consider forgoing them entirely if I had to eat them without a little salt and pepper. And popcorn without salt? Forget it. Even though this basic seasoning will enhance the flavor of so many dishes, I didn’t realize how essential and versatile salt can be until recently. As an acid reflux sufferer, my husband decided he’d had enough of his symptoms and wanted to experiment with some dietary changes to see if he could effectively eliminate his problem without any medication. So everyone who’s married knows what that means… we both had to change how we eat. Drastically. And because I am overly fond of acid-triggering spices and herbs in just about everything I cook, suddenly I didn’t know how to prepare any of my signature meals. I was like a fish out of water flailing around on my kitchen countertops.

Thankfully, however, there are few acid-fearing chefs out there who have written cookbooks on the art of flavor for the heartburn weary. And as I fumbled my way through recipe and after recipe, some of which completely flopped, I came to a newfound appreciation for the power of plain old salt. Fortunately neither one of us battles high blood pressure, so instead of adding my usual chili powder to fajitas, I created a close facsimile of Mexican food by using only salt and cumin. Instead of adding tomatoes and cilantro to the avocado, we found it to be quite delicious with a pinch of sea salt and olive oil. And so it went… our culinary adventure into the brave new world of life without tomatoes, vinegars, citrus, and so much more.

Fast forward several months later, and my hubby is enjoying life without chronic acid symptoms for the first time in many years. For him, the reward has far exceeded the effort required and his esophagus is probably much healthier as well. But our persistence in this new diet has taught me so much more than a few eating and cooking habits, it’s really highlighted the value of sacrifice for the sake of serving others. Salt has become so much more than an essential seasoning, it has become symbolic of spiritual and emotional flavoring, making my walk with God more robust and helping me experience a more distinctive understanding of sacrificial love.

Just as salt makes a bland recipe more palatable, allowing the Holy Spirit to season our speech, attitudes, and actions will make us more effective for God and more loving toward each other.

Jesus encouraged His followers to be like salt in several of the Gospels, but I particularly like the way Mark put it: “Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with one another.” (Mark 9:50b) Ever the master of brevity, Mark’s wording implies both a state of being and a command requiring action. This duality echoes the longer version of Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:13, “You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet.” Both of the passages make it clear: if you truly believe in Jesus you will be different. You will stand out. But in order to make a difference… in order to be valuable for Kingdom work, you must take action and practice the art of being salt, or flavoring, in a world desperately wanting to taste real nourishment and find soul-satisfying truth.

But how does that play in out in real life? How does our satisfaction with Jesus help other people? How can our daily yielding to the Holy Spirit be experienced by others? I am sure there are more, but the Holy Spirit reminds me of frequently of these four flavor-enhancing examples.

Season our speech with grace to bring out the best in others through conversation. Colossians 4:5-7 says, “Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” When we engage others with an extra measure of grace, listen more than we speak, and show genuine interest in their lives, we give the Holy Spirit more time and space to work in our relationships. Every interaction is an opportunity to help someone else draw one step closer to God.

Stand out in a spiritually flavorless and malnourished world. Ephesians 5:8-9 says, “For at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true).” John Piper said, “To be the salt of the earth and the light of the world means that at root Christians are so profoundly satisfied by Christ as our eternal reward, we are freed from fear and greed for the sacrifices of love, and are able to rejoice at persecution. When the world sees this, they see the glory of Christ and taste the satisfying pleasure of who He is.”

Sprinkle alluring bits of joy on parched hearts. John 15:11 says, “These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full." Another translation says that our joy in Christ will be like “a river overflowing its banks.” In my personal experience, real, infectious joy isn’t possible until I’ve learned to trust God. Once I completely trust God in a specific area, then I am positioned to receive His peace over it. With peace in our hearts, I am less stressed and worried, opening the door for joy to supernaturally bubble up in any situation. When others experience this entirely other-worldly joy, they will want to experience it for themselves.

Be a tasty reflection of what’s to come. Colossians 3:2 says, “Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.” Living in a world that bombards us daily with scary news, crazy weather events, and unfair tragedies is enough to make even the most positive individual fearful, depressed, and frustrated. When we live like this world is not our home people want to know why. And when they catch a glimpse of what heaven-minded living looks like, they are amazed. C.S. Lewis said, “The Christians who did most for the present world were just those who thought most of the next.”

Like with any other flavoring, there is always the risk of over-salting a recipe and rendering any food inedible. But the secret to a great outcome every time is allowing the Holy Spirit to guide your attitude, words, and actions. Even though we are far from perfect, Jesus makes up for our weaknesses, lack of skill, low appeal, and mistakes in the kitchen of life. Regardless of our inexperience or lack of creativity, if we stay faithful to the recipe He’s set forth in the Word, somehow in the end, Romans 8:28 assures us that He works everything together for the good. John Stott, the great theologian, once said, “The truth is powerful when it’s argued, but it’s more powerful when it’s exhibited.” When we get up each day willing to be a simple vessel in which the Holy Spirit can deposit flavorful truth and joyful refreshment, everyone we encounter will see Jesus on display. And that vision is far more appetizing than anything we can dish up on our own.

For Further Reflection and Deeper Study

As you contemplate Jesus’ statement that we are to be salt of the earth, spend some time in prayer and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal any ways in which you might be either over-salting or skipping the flavoring all together in your interactions with others. Take out a notebook and write about the ways God is leading you to adjust your expectations, actions, or attitudes.
Re-read the four “flavoring” examples mentioned in the blog post. For which ones are you following the Holy Spirit’s leading and which ones do you want to work on?
Read the Sermon on the Mount found in Matthew 5:1-14 and ask God to speak to you of His truth and direction for your life based on Jesus’ words. Imagine yourself on the hillside listening to Him speak. How do you think you would’ve reacted? Write down any thoughts that come to your mind.

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Thanks for reading today's Glimmers in the Fog post. If you liked it, why not share it with someone else who might be uplifted by it? And when you invite friends or family to subscribe to my weekly emails they also receive my free RADIATE eBook too! You'll be encouraging them and you will be helping me share the love of Christ with others. It’s a win-win!

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Why Every Soul Needs Spiritual Sandpaper

3/13/2019

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Why Every Soul Needs Spiritual Sandpaper

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My grandfather was a master at furniture restoration and even better at seeing treasures hidden among trash. He could transform an old wooden chair found at the garbage dump into a delicate turn-of-the-century masterpiece. As a little kid, I was regularly astonished at what he brought home. A truck-full of broken or ripped, and often dirty, furniture pieces would go into his workshop only to emerge a few months later as pristinely restored antiques capable of fetching top dollar from any one of the local interior design shops.

I had a particularly close relationship with my grandfather because every year growing up I stayed with them for at least a month during my summer breaks from school. One summer morning I was hanging out in his workshop to watch him refinish an intricately carved piece of mahogany. Naively thinking that I could accomplish the same results, I asked him if there was something I could work on myself. I can still remember the knowing smile that came across his face as he looked up from his project. While I can’t remember his response exactly, I think it went something like this: “Sure, I’ll find something that you can take home with you when you leave. Let’s start on it tomorrow.”

The next day he came home with a small, basic bookcase. And my face must’ve said it all because I recall him saying something like, “Don’t worry, when you’re finished with it, it will look completely different. Let’s go look for the tools that’ll get the job done.”

My grandfather knew that experiencing the process of restoration and appreciating the value of hard work was more important to teach me than the actual refinishing skills or my desire to produce something ornate or beautiful. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I wanted a shortcut to satisfaction. I wanted to be proud of myself and receive praise for my fine attention to detail. My grandfather, on the other hand, knew I needed to start with the basics and go through my own refinement process before I tried to tackle something that would only end in a mess if I attempted it right now. Not only would my little project end up being the opposite of what I envisioned, I would also learn nothing while simultaneously being terribly disappointed in myself.

Like my grandfather, Jesus worked wood with his hands most of his life. The vast majority of what we read about Him is described in the miraculous beginning of His life or the short three years of His earthly ministry. But what about the other 29 years? Well, Jesus likely filled up at least 16 or 17 of those years by quietly shaping rough, inflexible wood into smooth, well-formed works of usefulness. His father Joseph would have begun Jesus’ training in the workshop at a young age so that he could quickly move past the common errors of a naive apprentice and become a productive, income-generating member of the household.

Jesus could’ve had any job during His years of preparation and maturation. The whole point of years 1 through 29 was so that He could experience what we experience — being fully human and dealing with the hard realities of living in a sinful world with other people who do irritating and often unloving things to each other. The point was to live enough of the typical human journey to prove to us that He gets it. He knows living here is just plain hard. And unfair. Therefore, I don’t think it is particularly important that He was a carpenter. But it is certainly poetic. And our God does love a beautiful allegory. As humans, we relate to stories emotionally, which open up our hearts more quickly and more fully to not only hear truth, but also be vulnerable enough to let it sink in and spark us into action.

Because God chose to start His Son’s training with the hard physical realities of going to work every day to shape hard, unwilling objects, not to mention deal with cranky or unrealistic customers, Jesus undoubtedly learned the truth of allegory and how to apply it to real life very quickly. As a carpenter, Jesus learned at the deepest level — both emotionally and physically — what it meant to grow and mature as a human in this harsh climate of mistrust, betrayal, undeserved pain, loss, and longing. Therefore, we can rest assured that when we walk through trials, unsettling change, new projects, intense longing, waiting, or dealing with life-draining relationships, Jesus knows what that feels like and is shaping the situations to propel us into a new level of spiritual growth.

In the book How People Grow, which is the definitive work on the many facets and processes of spiritual development, authors Cloud and Townsend drive home the point over and over that life itself — with all its issues, ups, and downs — is a classroom for growth taught by the Holy Spirit. Everything that happens in our lives, from the tiniest details to the most pivotal moments, is an opportunity for spiritual growth. All growth is spiritually related. Everything in our lives is spiritually connected. Our humanity and the activities and events that come with it cannot be separated from our hearts and souls. The various projects of life that Jesus allows to come our way are like the very sandpaper used to smooth out the rough edges of raw wood. The key lies in training ourselves to see it that way and then humbly and lovingly yielding to God’s refining hand. Just as my Grandfather did for me and Joseph did for Jesus, God is lovingly guiding us to trust Him that the work He sets before us is for a reason. When our outlook is one filtered through love and trust, everything is an opportunity to mature our character, further purify our hearts, draw us into more dependency, and ultimately glorify God.

Most days we don’t recognize the spiritual sandpaper that God brings into our lives. As it does with a tree, growth doesn’t typically happen quickly or in huge spurts. It is the little moments of triumph that build over time to make us like a strong “tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season.” (Psalm 1:3a) What are some of the spiritual sandpapers that are just waiting for us to see? Virtually everything is a growth opportunity, no matter how minuscule or incremental. Most people realize that trials and suffering regardless of their unpleasant nature are necessary and significant means of growth (Romans 5:3-4). But some of the most common ones we miss are hard work, waiting, mistakes, longing or lack, and people. Variations of those things occur every day in all kinds of ways. Perhaps read that short list again, and if you feel a little nudge from the Holy Spirit about any of them, look at the bottom of this blog post. There, I’ve listed out each one with encouraging Scriptures.

When God brought the Israelites out of Egypt and finally brought them into the promised land over the Jordan River, Joshua 4 tells us that they planted a stone marker on the shores of rescue. In the same way, we need to record and treasure our mile markers of spiritual growth. We need to recall, revisit, and rejoice in each hard lesson learned. Why? So that the enemy’s lies won’t be successful later in whispering words of doubt in our ears about God’s faithfulness and promises. So that we will remember how we got through something and avoid repeating the same mistakes. So that we can look back in times of discouragement and be strengthened for the journey ahead. And there are many more reasons. If I persuade you to do nothing else based on this message, then my prayer is that you at least try jotting down what God says to you, has done for you, and is teaching you on a somewhat regular basis. Whether it’s a journal, the note app on your phone, sticky notes by your bed, or whatever is convenient, find a way to capture your milestones and how you got there. It can be bullet points, sketches, fragments, or ramblings. Most of all, it doesn’t have to be perfect. Nor will it be shared. It’s just between you and God. And if you happen to live in Southern Maine, I’ll be leading a class this Spring where we’ll talk about some of the most important types of spiritual growth, including non-burdensome, joyful ways to capture what God is teaching you. More information about that and other online resources on spiritual growth are also included at the bottom of this post.

I still have that small, humble bookshelf my Grandfather and I made together. You might be wondering how it turned out. Well, it is indeed simple, but I think it is one of the most beautiful things I own. I love every blemish on it because they are mistakes that I made with my own hands and my Grandfather lovingly showed me how to correct as I moved forward. It has gone with me everywhere since that sweltering summer of rebirth. After I completed it, I learned later that my Grandfather had stayed up late the night before making it for me from old scrap wood left in the shop. Discarded, scarred planks that would’ve been burned in their old wood stove once the chill of autumn set in became something I have cherished for almost 30 years. It is the only thing I have that he made with his own hands. And knowing that he sacrificed to make it just for me so that I would have the opportunity to grow still brings tears to my eyes. He wasn’t a man of many words, but his loving thoughtfulness and wisdom by example still echo in my life all these years later. The bookcase now sits in my favorite room in our house — the guest bedroom. And it is stocked with… you guessed it… books on spiritual growth. In some small way, my Grandfather’s gesture has touched every person who’s borrowed a book from the shelf. And while there’s no way for me to know the full extent of the lessons he taught me, I do know the effects of the sandpaper he gave me that day yielded far greater results on reshaping my young heart than it did on that bookcase.

For Further Reflection & Deeper Study
Beyond the obvious types of spiritual sandpaper in our lives, such as trials and hardship, there are many everyday ones that have the power to incrementally shape us over time. Spend some time praying before you read this list, then read the scriptures for each, and ask the Holy Spirit to point out any you might be ignoring or missing out on.

Hard work. Working diligently with joy for the Lord on a consistent basis develops our character, endurance, and humility on many levels. Colossians 3:17, Proverbs 13:4, Philippians 2:14-15
Waiting. Waiting for anything, whether short or long, serious or trivial, teaches us patience and trust. Psalm 27:14, Psalm 130:5 (You may also want to check out this blog post on learning to wait the right way.)
Mistakes. God can redeem and use anything for His glory if we let Him — even our mistakes and sins. Beyond the incredible humility that smooths out our sharp pride, mistakes push us into the arms of Jesus. Psalm 37:23-24 is a very insightful passage about God’s guidance and love even when we fall or make mistakes.
Longing and lack. Whether it’s material, physical, emotional, or relational, when our desires go unfulfilled and our ability to obtain is removed, we have a choice to fill the void supernaturally or stuff it with temporary pleasures. Philippians 4:12-13 (You may also want to check out this blog post on contentment.)
People. Whether it’s someone we love or a stranger at a stoplight, we encounter people who act as sandpaper every day. Eugene Peterson once said, “We humans keep looking for a religion that will give us access to God without having to bother with people.” But Scripture clearly indicates that we are all interconnected and made to love each other. Proverbs 27:6,17 tells us that faithful — other words, helpful — are the wounds of a friend and reminds us that iron sharpens iron. As for the people who drive us crazy without good motives, we grow when we treat them as Jesus would. Ephesians 4:29-32

Additional Resources about Spiritual Growth and Capturing Your Journey

How People Grow, by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
RADIATE: Growing on the Inside to Radiate Jesus on the Outside, by Kim Stiver
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The 5 Lies of Social Media

3/6/2019

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The 5 Lies of Social Media Can Keep You from Living Out Your Faith Authentically

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If social media is like a road — useful for connecting us with others and offering interesting things to see along the way — then the deeply veiled lies lurking within it are like black ice. If you live in a cold climate then you probably caught my meaning immediately. If you don’t, then let me quickly explain. Black ice is formed when rain or melted snow flash freeze as the temperature drops. This invisible, dangerous glaze is virtually undetectable in low light or under cloudy skies, making it almost impossible to avoid slipping or skidding over it. Black ice is a leading culprit in cold weather accidents of all kinds, from falls to crashes. And the worst part is that you can’t see it coming. You’re just walking or driving along, and then boom! You’re down for the count or seriously sidetracked.

As I have been pondering God’s direction in my life for accessing and using social media, He kept bringing this concept of black ice to my mind. Like our everyday use of roadways, social media has become a universal, frequent communications conduit for most of the world’s population. In the United States alone, almost 80% of adults have created a social media profile. Since you aren’t likely to avoid the use of roads and banish yourself to a hermit’s life because of the risks associated with black ice, it’s also highly unlikely that you are going to spend your life avoiding social media. But similar to the hidden dangers of black ice, there are sneaky, pervasive lies woven throughout social media, changed and altered as needed by the master of deceit to target every person online regardless of age, gender, lifestyle, or spiritual conviction.

Perhaps the greatest danger of all is how savvy and smart we think we are, which only creates a false sense of security and makes us even more susceptible to any of these common lies. Like a skilled driver, we can all become overconfident, erroneously believing that we will not only see the black ice ahead of time, but that we will also be wise enough to avoid being duped and skidding off into dangerous territory. But the reality is that these chameleon-like lies are so versatile, so universally appealing, that Satan can tailor them to fit perfectly with any weakness we have, no matter how mature we are.

I’m sure there are more, but here are five lies that I have been encountering over and over as I’ve ramped up my own use of the social media freeway. Capable of cutting through the noise to reach us in the most surreptitious of manners, you may recognize some of these yourself, even in the most benign, encouraging, or seemingly “spiritual” aspects of social media. Of course, you’ll also notice that these lies have been around since the dawn of time. And Satan just gets better and better at using them with each passing generation and with each new technology or fad.

Lie #1: We deserve a certain level of success or achievement in order to have a strong identity.
Scriptural Truth: We are not entitled to any recognition and everything is a gift from God. The only identity we should seek to cultivate, approval we should hope to gain, or praise we should long for is that of Jesus. 1 Peter 5:6 says, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you.”
Oh, how this one snares even the most clever among us because it goes right to the emotion of our work ethic, desire for achievement, and pride of a job well done. Social media lures us into viewing our success — of any kind — in the light of others’ triumphs. Something as simple as seeing a friend’s apparently endless level of productivity and energy can make us feel less than adequate when it comes to our own perceived busyness. And this lie seeps across all forms of success and achievement, from the obvious ones like financial prosperity and career positions to the more subtle forms of recognition, like healthy relationships, thriving families, and volunteer leadership roles. Only God knows when we’re ready for a certain level of success or notoriety, if ever. So the only identity we need to focus on is whether we’re becoming more like Jesus or not. There is no comparison to anyone else.

Lie #2: We deserve to be rewarded and spoiled once in a while.
Scriptural Truth: The only rewards we should be motivated by are those encouraged by the Holy Spirit. Mark 8:35-36 says, “For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?”
Everything about our modern age seeks to convince us that we deserve to spoil ourselves in some way. Whether it’s rewarding ourselves for losing 20 pounds by indulging in a decadent greasy cheeseburger or telling ourselves we deserve an unbudgeted trip to the Mall because of a promotion at work, social media can tempt us to concoct, sometimes self-defeating excuses to make ourselves happy. We have trained ourselves to be reward-driven so that we might resemble all the happy people in the social media feeds. Yet, God is calling us to desire His kind of rewards, not the world’s. Our best life comes through forgoing our earthly desires and instead of longing for heaven-minded ones. When we do this, we are rewarded with the fruits of the spirit, which are far better to obtain than any temporary pleasure.

Lie #3: We deserve to be the center of attention… at least every now and then.
Scriptural Truth: We are not worthy to be the center of attention for anything we’ve done, for our talents, or just because we’ve endured a trial or hardship. Romans 12:3 says, “For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.”
Being the center of attention is highly addictive. Even the most humble and well-meaning of people can fall in love with the idea or feeling of being adored by others. While it’s obvious how social media can feed our desire to be widely admired and valued, there’s a deeper deceit lying underneath the surface. Many of us would never overtly plaster social media with images of ourselves on a daily basis, yet we can ever-so-gradually get caught up in the lie that tells us we need to amass a huge legion of followers and a mountain of likes on our posts in order to make a positive difference for God. But our almighty Father won’t let a thing like social media stand in His way if it’s His will. Ever. God will never ask us to elevate ourselves above Him in order to achieve His plans for us. His accomplishments never require our works or our compromise. They simply require us to be a vessel.

Lie #4: We only have one life to live so we better take full advantage of it.
Scriptural Truth: We should be living each day knowing that the greatest portion of our existence will be in eternity. Matthew 6:21 reminds us, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
Our time on earth is brief. So the age-old lie that we need to grab hold of all that we can while we’re able to do so is as energetic and appealing as it ever was. And social networks can feed our appetites for self indulgence if we let them. Every time we log on, we see friends with a new gadget, new fashion, traveling to cool places, or indulging in a lavish meal. While there’s likely nothing wrong with any of those things for a particular individual, when we are bombarded all at once by endless images of people doing countless enticing things, it can make occasional splurges seem like the everyday norm.

Lie #5: We need to be relevant at the sacrifice of holiness.
Scriptural Truth: Jesus never compromised God’s standards for the sake of reaching people or fitting in with the crowds that followed Him. Even among his own followers, Jesus never bowed to peer pressure or the need to feel accepted. John 6:65-66 says, “And He said, ‘This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted him by the Father.’ After this many of His disciples turned back and no longer walked with him.”
God’s truth has stood the test of time and cultural shifts without the help of humans. The Bible remains the most read book in the world for a reason — no matter what’s popular in society, people will always be inexplicably drawn to truth delivered with love. The reason many Christians are tempted to water down God’s truth when living out their lives online is because we’re afraid of offending someone in today’s politically correct culture. But there’s a time, a place, and a style for delivering truth — and it all needs to be orchestrated by the Holy Spirit’s leading. If we allow the Holy Spirit to fully and completely govern our social media usage and interactions, we will never need to worry about the outcome. Jesus wasn’t always well-received by every person, but He always accomplished God’s mission.

Because these lies can lurk anywhere and sneak up on us at any time, using social media in any capacity needs to be filtered through the moment-by-moment guidance of the Holy Spirit. The Bible says not to grieve the Spirit, but every time we avoid His gentle nudging, we are doing just that. He might whisper to you, “That’s enough. Time to move on now,” when you’re looking at a friend’s vacation pictures and wondering why your spouse doesn’t take you to places like that. Instead, Paul calls us to put on the armor of God and wear it 24 hours a day, whether you are physically going somewhere or only traveling down the road of social influence. In Paul’s era, physical danger and persecution lurked around every corner, so the word picture he paints in Ephesians 6:10-18 of the tailor-made holy armor was especially reassuring. Today, it is highly unlikely any of us will encounter Roman dungeons or swords, but the realm of social media is no less a battlefield. The real enemy is unseen, but the wounds he wants to inflict can be life altering and gospel squelching. Satan’s number one goal is to make us less effective for God, so that means any of his well-rehearsed lies can be effective at discouraging us, distracting us, or diminishing our energy for the Gospel. But armed with God’s word and saturated with the Holy Spirit, we can march into the cultural arena with confidence knowing that no attempt to stop us can ever take away what matters most. When we seek to lose ourselves in Jesus, we find all that we need and abundantly more, no matter how many likes we get, what the latest hashtags promote, or the trendiest guru proclaims.
(Note: This was Part 2 of "Finding Spiritual Authenticity in the Selfie Age." You can read Part 1 here.)

Questions for Further Reflection

Read and spend some time meditating on the passage in Ephesians about the armor of God. Now go through each description of God’s armor and apply it to how you interact online, whether it be in social media, email, texting, watching entertainment videos, or surfing the web.
How is God calling you to alter your approach, opinion, or use of the internet and/or social media? If you don’t participate online at all, is that a decision you made or God directed you to make? Take some to pray about your involvement and seek His confirmation of your decision or His prodding to change it.
What are some ways God might be calling you to be more interactive and relationship-oriented through online communication methods? How can you carry the truth in love to others who are seeking answers online? What are some ways you can support those who are delivering the good news and love of Jesus to the online world?

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