Why Every Soul Needs Spiritual Sandpaper

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My grandfather was a master at furniture restoration and even better at seeing treasures hidden among trash. He could transform an old wooden chair found at the garbage dump into a delicate turn-of-the-century masterpiece. As a little kid, I was regularly astonished at what he brought home. A truck-full of broken or ripped, and often dirty, furniture pieces would go into his workshop only to emerge a few months later as pristinely restored antiques capable of fetching top dollar from any one of the local interior design shops.

I had a particularly close relationship with my grandfather because every year growing up I stayed with them for at least a month during my summer breaks from school. One summer morning I was hanging out in his workshop to watch him refinish an intricately carved piece of mahogany. Naively thinking that I could accomplish the same results, I asked him if there was something I could work on myself. I can still remember the knowing smile that came across his face as he looked up from his project. While I can’t remember his response exactly, I think it went something like this: “Sure, I’ll find something that you can take home with you when you leave. Let’s start on it tomorrow.”

The next day he came home with a small, basic bookcase. And my face must’ve said it all because I recall him saying something like, “Don’t worry, when you’re finished with it, it will look completely different. Let’s go look for the tools that’ll get the job done.”

My grandfather knew that experiencing the process of restoration and appreciating the value of hard work was more important to teach me than the actual refinishing skills or my desire to produce something ornate or beautiful. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I wanted a shortcut to satisfaction. I wanted to be proud of myself and receive praise for my fine attention to detail. My grandfather, on the other hand, knew I needed to start with the basics and go through my own refinement process before I tried to tackle something that would only end in a mess if I attempted it right now. Not only would my little project end up being the opposite of what I envisioned, I would also learn nothing while simultaneously being terribly disappointed in myself.

Like my grandfather, Jesus worked wood with his hands most of his life. The vast majority of what we read about Him is described in the miraculous beginning of His life or the short three years of His earthly ministry. But what about the other 29 years? Well, Jesus likely filled up at least 16 or 17 of those years by quietly shaping rough, inflexible wood into smooth, well-formed works of usefulness. His father Joseph would have begun Jesus’ training in the workshop at a young age so that he could quickly move past the common errors of a naive apprentice and become a productive, income-generating member of the household.

Jesus could’ve had any job during His years of preparation and maturation. The whole point of years 1 through 29 was so that He could experience what we experience — being fully human and dealing with the hard realities of living in a sinful world with other people who do irritating and often unloving things to each other. The point was to live enough of the typical human journey to prove to us that He gets it. He knows living here is just plain hard. And unfair. Therefore, I don’t think it is particularly important that He was a carpenter. But it is certainly poetic. And our God does love a beautiful allegory. As humans, we relate to stories emotionally, which open up our hearts more quickly and more fully to not only hear truth, but also be vulnerable enough to let it sink in and spark us into action.

Because God chose to start His Son’s training with the hard physical realities of going to work every day to shape hard, unwilling objects, not to mention deal with cranky or unrealistic customers, Jesus undoubtedly learned the truth of allegory and how to apply it to real life very quickly. As a carpenter, Jesus learned at the deepest level — both emotionally and physically — what it meant to grow and mature as a human in this harsh climate of mistrust, betrayal, undeserved pain, loss, and longing. Therefore, we can rest assured that when we walk through trials, unsettling change, new projects, intense longing, waiting, or dealing with life-draining relationships, Jesus knows what that feels like and is shaping the situations to propel us into a new level of spiritual growth.

In the book How People Grow, which is the definitive work on the many facets and processes of spiritual development, authors Cloud and Townsend drive home the point over and over that life itself — with all its issues, ups, and downs — is a classroom for growth taught by the Holy Spirit. Everything that happens in our lives, from the tiniest details to the most pivotal moments, is an opportunity for spiritual growth. All growth is spiritually related. Everything in our lives is spiritually connected. Our humanity and the activities and events that come with it cannot be separated from our hearts and souls. The various projects of life that Jesus allows to come our way are like the very sandpaper used to smooth out the rough edges of raw wood. The key lies in training ourselves to see it that way and then humbly and lovingly yielding to God’s refining hand. Just as my Grandfather did for me and Joseph did for Jesus, God is lovingly guiding us to trust Him that the work He sets before us is for a reason. When our outlook is one filtered through love and trust, everything is an opportunity to mature our character, further purify our hearts, draw us into more dependency, and ultimately glorify God.

Most days we don’t recognize the spiritual sandpaper that God brings into our lives. As it does with a tree, growth doesn’t typically happen quickly or in huge spurts. It is the little moments of triumph that build over time to make us like a strong “tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season.” (Psalm 1:3a) What are some of the spiritual sandpapers that are just waiting for us to see? Virtually everything is a growth opportunity, no matter how minuscule or incremental. Most people realize that trials and suffering regardless of their unpleasant nature are necessary and significant means of growth (Romans 5:3-4). But some of the most common ones we miss are hard work, waiting, mistakes, longing or lack, and people. Variations of those things occur every day in all kinds of ways. Perhaps read that short list again, and if you feel a little nudge from the Holy Spirit about any of them, look at the bottom of this blog post. There, I’ve listed out each one with encouraging Scriptures.

When God brought the Israelites out of Egypt and finally brought them into the promised land over the Jordan River, Joshua 4 tells us that they planted a stone marker on the shores of rescue. In the same way, we need to record and treasure our mile markers of spiritual growth. We need to recall, revisit, and rejoice in each hard lesson learned. Why? So that the enemy’s lies won’t be successful later in whispering words of doubt in our ears about God’s faithfulness and promises. So that we will remember how we got through something and avoid repeating the same mistakes. So that we can look back in times of discouragement and be strengthened for the journey ahead. And there are many more reasons. If I persuade you to do nothing else based on this message, then my prayer is that you at least try jotting down what God says to you, has done for you, and is teaching you on a somewhat regular basis. Whether it’s a journal, the note app on your phone, sticky notes by your bed, or whatever is convenient, find a way to capture your milestones and how you got there. It can be bullet points, sketches, fragments, or ramblings. Most of all, it doesn’t have to be perfect. Nor will it be shared. It’s just between you and God. And if you happen to live in Southern Maine, I’ll be leading a class this Spring where we’ll talk about some of the most important types of spiritual growth, including non-burdensome, joyful ways to capture what God is teaching you. More information about that and other online resources on spiritual growth are also included at the bottom of this post.
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I still have that small, humble bookshelf my Grandfather and I made together. You might be wondering how it turned out. Well, it is indeed simple, but I think it is one of the most beautiful things I own. I love every blemish on it because they are mistakes that I made with my own hands and my Grandfather lovingly showed me how to correct as I moved forward. It has gone with me everywhere since that sweltering summer of rebirth. After I completed it, I learned later that my Grandfather had stayed up late the night before making it for me from old scrap wood left in the shop. Discarded, scarred planks that would’ve been burned in their old wood stove once the chill of autumn set in became something I have cherished for almost 30 years. It is the only thing I have that he made with his own hands. And knowing that he sacrificed to make it just for me so that I would have the opportunity to grow still brings tears to my eyes. He wasn’t a man of many words, but his loving thoughtfulness and wisdom by example still echo in my life all these years later. The bookcase now sits in my favorite room in our house — the guest bedroom. And it is stocked with… you guessed it… books on spiritual growth. In some small way, my Grandfather’s gesture has touched every person who’s borrowed a book from the shelf. And while there’s no way for me to know the full extent of the lessons he taught me, I do know the effects of the sandpaper he gave me that day yielded far greater results on reshaping my young heart than it did on that bookcase.

For Further Reflection & Deeper Study
Beyond the obvious types of spiritual sandpaper in our lives, such as trials and hardship, there are many everyday ones that have the power to incrementally shape us over time. Spend some time praying before you read this list, then read the scriptures for each, and ask the Holy Spirit to point out any you might be ignoring or missing out on.

• Hard work. Working diligently with joy for the Lord on a consistent basis develops our character, endurance, and humility on many levels. Colossians 3:17, Proverbs 13:4, Philippians 2:14-15
• Waiting. Waiting for anything, whether short or long, serious or trivial, teaches us patience and trust. Psalm 27:14, Psalm 130:5 (You may also want to check out this blog post on learning to wait the right way.)
• Mistakes. God can redeem and use anything for His glory if we let Him — even our mistakes and sins. Beyond the incredible humility that smooths out our sharp pride, mistakes push us into the arms of Jesus. Psalm 37:23-24 is a very insightful passage about God’s guidance and love even when we fall or make mistakes.
• Longing and lack. Whether it’s material, physical, emotional, or relational, when our desires go unfulfilled and our ability to obtain is removed, we have a choice to fill the void supernaturally or stuff it with temporary pleasures. Philippians 4:12-13 (You may also want to check out this blog post on contentment.)
• People. Whether it’s someone we love or a stranger at a stoplight, we encounter people who act as sandpaper every day. Eugene Peterson once said, “We humans keep looking for a religion that will give us access to God without having to bother with people.” But Scripture clearly indicates that we are all interconnected and made to love each other. Proverbs 27:6,17 tells us that faithful — other words, helpful — are the wounds of a friend and reminds us that iron sharpens iron. As for the people who drive us crazy without good motives, we grow when we treat them as Jesus would. Ephesians 4:29-32

Additional Resources about Spiritual Growth and Capturing Your Journey

• How People Grow, by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
• RADIATE: Growing on the Inside to Radiate Jesus on the Outside, by Kim Stiver
• RADIATE the Class: Offered Spring 2019 at Eastpoint Christian Church in South Portland, Maine — Wednesdays at 6:30pm starting on April 3. Overview: The more we lean into Jesus and let the Holy Spirit work in our spiritual core, the more we will radiate Him to others and share His love. Offered in a relatable, easygoing style and appropriate for both men and women, RADIATE will help you learn how to apply eight transformational spiritual disciplines to deepen your walk with God. For more information, email Kim directly. A class registration link will be posted to the church website on March 17.

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