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Glimmers in the Fog

Finding Glimpses of Divine Providence in Everyday Life
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When Things Go Bump In The Night

5/9/2018

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Finding true rest on a sleepless night
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Vessels for God
Nighttime is a wondrous and mysterious thing to me... I was never one of those kids who imagined monsters under the bed, but I can remember thinking that ghosts lurked at my great grandmother’s house. I’ll never forget the night that I forced my mother to come pick me up because I had convinced myself there was a ghost sleeping in one of the guest bedrooms. I think I was about five years old. Apparently, my crying fit was enough to mess up everyone’s plans that night and generate one of those “when you were a kid” stories that our parents tell when we’re older to embarrass us in front of friends or love interests.
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As we grow up and leave behind the ghost stories and fairy tales, we often fool ourselves into believing that we are immune to being afraid of things that go bump in the night. And then we find ourselves in the middle of a rough night’s sleep (or no sleep at all), and suddenly everything seems magnified in the dark stillness. It can feel like we’ve checked our ability to reason at the bedroom door and all the problems of the day seem worse. In our tired minds, a little issue with a co-worker becomes the thing we might get fired over. A simple headache becomes a brain tumor. An unspoken word by a spouse becomes a novel-length saga in our minds, complete with a blow-by-blow dialogue.

We may no longer imagine monsters under the bed or in the closet, but a lack of sleep is one of the surest ways to create monsters in our minds and pain in our bodies. Whether it’s racing thoughts of an endless to-do list, a fixation on a particular worry, or a nagging pain, once we find ourselves awake at that odd hour, we all know how hard it can be to drift back off into the sweet ignorance of blissful sleep. No matter how much our society changes, how many technologies we invent, or number of drugs we develop, nighttime will always have a way of mysteriously magnifying problems in the human mind. But why is that? Why does everything seem worse at night (if you’re not sleeping)?

Is nighttime our enemy? No, but the enemy loves the dark. So having recently endured a bout of insomnia myself, I researched not only the reasons why everything seems worse at night — it’s one of the most common questions asked on Google --  but also what God calls us to do with those sleepless nights. As with every other problem humans face, not surprisingly, the Bible has a prescription for our nighttime woes, and it’s as current and relevant today as it was thousands of years ago.

Nighttime can make us feel helpless and vulnerable, but God gives us a Spirit of power, love and a sound mind. First, you can’t make yourself go to sleep. And the harder you try or the more you think about it, the worse it will get. Second, because you feel abnormal for not sleeping, you naturally wonder what else is wrong with you. Even more frustrating, is the inability to take action on anything in the middle of the night. At 3 in the morning, you just don’t have the same options that you have at 3 in the afternoon. It’s not like you can call your best friend and discuss the issue. You could wake up your spouse, but why bring them into the same mess you’re in? And if you get up and start doing things, you’ll probably worry about waking up the whole house. But 2 Timothy 1:7 makes it clear that we can press onward with the indwelling of the Holy Spirit’s power, love, and a sound mind (or self control in some versions). Prayer and meditation during sleeplessness empower us, destroying the Enemy’s attempt to make you feel helpless, weak and vulnerable. Resting in the truth that God will provide for you the next day, no matter how little sleep you get, can ease your striving, reduce your anxiety, and help you release control over the situation (which is something you don’t have anyway). If you’re looking for verses about sleep to meditate on in the night, here’s a list of 21 scriptures to ponder.

Nighttime can make us feel isolated and insignificant, but that’s exactly when we can feel closest to Jesus. When you can’t sleep and it seems like everyone else is able to, it’s easy to slip into a place of feeling alone, abnormal and disconnected. And there’s just something about the darkness and quiet of night that seems to whisper vastness to us. This is primetime for the Enemy to tell you that you are insignificant to God and that He isn’t going to rescue you. It gets even worse if you’ve been praying and still don’t have any relief. Sometimes He provides miraculous relief and other times God allows us to go through a testing in order to have us press into Him all the more. The more we learn to depend on Him, the more He will make Himself known to us. Psalm 34:18 says the Lord is close to the brokenhearted. James 4:8 says to draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Hebrews 4:16 says, “Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” In my last round of insomnia, God reassured me that He was allowing it to happen in order to teach me to surrender yet another layer of control to His loving sovereignty. So although relief wasn’t immediate, His presence was vivid and His instruction became clearer and clearer. God was providing me with personal, intimate insight into control issues I didn’t even know were hiding inside of me. With this kind of personal attention from the King of the Universe, how could I not feel valued, significant and loved? He knew me before I was born (Psalm 139), and He tells me to fear not because He will strengthen me, help me and uphold me (Isaiah 41:10).

Nighttime without sleep can shine a spotlight on the things that are bothering us the most, but Jesus wants us to focus on Him and lay all our burdens down. During the day we have plenty to distract us from any deep-seated or latent concerns going on in our lives. In fact, our over-scheduled days and the noise of social media and TV can completely numb our hearts and minds, keeping us from addressing things in our hearts that desperately need attention. So while our jobs, school, social outings, entertainment, etc., can occupy our time and focus during the waking hours for an extended period of time, eventually we all come face to face with our unaddressed problems in the middle of the night. Sometimes God uses the distraction-free solitude of night to make us aware of the things we’re not surrendering to Him, unconfessed sin, unhealthy habits, or any other issue that is keeping us from becoming all that He wants us to be or the abundant life He offers. When we’re hanging onto something tightly, the nighttime has a unique way of revealing the pain of that grip. Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30 that He wants to carry our burdens. I love The Message version of that passage: “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

Nighttime triggers our biological drive for self-preservation, but God wants us to trust Him that the timing of our lives is in His wise and loving hands. As sleep evades us, anything that prevents us from finding peace in the night is more pronounced, including physical pain. So everything we feel seems to be serious and appears to require more analysis. This is a nightmare for anyone with hypochondriacal tendencies, but almost everyone has entertained a wild thought or two in the middle of the night. We are fearfully and wonderfully made, so our Creator knows that we can’t help but be concerned about our health. However, He wants us to believe in Him enough to completely rest in the fact that He alone should determine the length of our days. He also wants us to spend the primary aim of our days glorifying Him and loving others well (Matthew 22:36-40). We can’t fulfill either of those commands if we are walking around consumed with worries about ourselves all the time.

This gets to the heart of perhaps the most difficult issue of sovereignty that any human faces. We can exercise, eat right, and take fantastic care of our bodies, but we cannot control the timing of illnesses, injuries, and eventually death. I certainly haven’t found the secret to complete peace with this, but God has reminded me repeatedly that I will find the greatest peace and joy in my daily life, when I don’t dwell on that which I cannot control. This is the great mystery of faith: when we choose to trust God with our lives, He will always help us live more abundantly. When we dwell on that which we can’t control, we will always find misery. Max Lucado says in his book Anxious For Nothing, “We want certainty, but the only certainty is the lack thereof. That’s why the most stressed out people are control freaks. They fail at the quest they most pursue. We can’t take control because it’s not ours to take. Peace is within reach, not for a lack of problems, but because of the presence of a sovereign Lord.” He goes on to remind us about Isaiah who was afraid after King Uzziah died. Isaiah’s problems didn’t go away, but God’s divine power and presence swelled within him to sustain and strengthen him in miraculous ways. God made Isaiah to be a vessel that displays His divine glory through the fractured lines of human weakness. He does the same for us, and that’s what we put our hope in. Not that the problems go away. Not that we can regain a sense of control over our future. Our hope must rest squarely on the deeply stirring knowledge and unwavering belief that God is sovereign and that no matter what comes our way, He will be with us, He will be glorified, and He will somehow use it for good. Trusting in His sovereignty helps us respond to problems not with fear, but with the resolute confidence that helps us exclaim, “I can’t wait to see what He’s going to do with this.” 2 Timothy 4:18 says, “And I know the Lord will continue to rescue me from every trip, trap, snare, and pitfall of evil and carry me safely to His heavenly kingdom. May He be glorified throughout eternity. Amen.” If Paul could say that with such confidence in prison, then we can certainly say it in the comfort of our warm, snuggly beds with our favorite pillow. So next time the night comes without any sleep, take heart that you can still find true rest in the One who never slumbers, never leaves you, and never fails. He is the only constant in a world completely out of your control, and you have the privilege of holding His hand 24 hours a day.
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    Every life is a story, so the big question for every person is: "Who's writing your ending?" Majesty, mystery, and miracles are waiting for us to discover in the most ordinary days if we have the heart to see them. Glimmers in the Fog offers hope and inspiration with spiritual musings, heartfelt confessions, and timely encouragement from a hungry soul in pursuit of the One who set the stars in place yet calls me by name. 


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