Broken Made Beautiful

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It seemed like the day would never come, but on Friday, I finally unpacked the last moving box. Okay, so there are a few boxes that I’m not ever going to unpack. You know the ones… they’re loaded down with cheesy grammar school photos and homespun mementos of summer camping trips. But when it comes to the boxes that should be unpacked, I’m all done. I even emptied a few that I had marked for “deep storage,” which made me feel especially proud of myself. And just as I was reveling in the thought of being completely settled and patting myself on the back for small victories, it hit me how much I had forgotten by storing away dozens of years of my life in the attic.

Pawing through all the layers of memories, I was amazed at how quickly and easily my mind returned to another time. I could see vivid details of my old neighborhood streets and could almost smell the pungent boughs of a Christmas tree framed in the early morning light. Most of the stories that resurfaced were good ones, but a few made me wish I hadn’t opened a particular box. And it was then that I suddenly felt washed in a blanket of mercy. Thank goodness God allows us — and I think sometimes He makes us — forget certain things or experiences until we’re ready… until He’s prepared us… to unpack them again. In His endless mercy and wisdom, He knows that some stories can’t bear to be retold until the road stretches far enough behind us for wounds to be healed, and our hindsight is clear enough to bring appreciation and understanding.

One of my favorite Bible verses is Ecclesiastes 3:11, which begins with, “He makes everything beautiful in its time.” It’s a surprisingly hopeful statement for a book that is largely a downer comparatively speaking to the rest of Scripture. And although I have this verse written on a chalkboard in my office, I had never really thought to apply it to my past. Instead, I’ve been using it as a reminder to be patient while I wait on the Lord to open doors. The verse reassures me that waiting on God without grumbling or jumping the gun is rewarded because our Father never does anything half-heartedly or at the wrong time.

Yet, as I sat there surrounded by mostly silly junk and some 80s photos with my hair teased high enough to reach a ceiling fan, the Holy Spirit brought this Scripture to me in a fresh way, along with the rest of the verse, which concludes with, “Also, He has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that He cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.” So true to the rest of the theme of Ecclesiastes, one of the most beautiful lines is followed by a frustrating letdown. It makes me smile because it’s like Solomon, the author, is giving the reader this cheeky grin and saying with great sarcasm, “Have faith, cause everything God does is amazing. Even the stuff you think is the most horrible or difficult. He’ll make it all come out in the wash and adorn you in the finest garment you can imagine. You’re going to look fabulous — simply radiant and whole — in His presence. But… before you get too excited… just know that between now and then, you’re not going to have a clue what He’s doing or why He’s doing it.” And for the remainder of that passage, Solomon reminds us that God is going to do what He’s going to do. He then goes on to advise us to accept the Lord’s sovereignty and just move on with life.

And while Solomon’s words ring true as only a pessimistic statement can, we know that God doesn’t leave us comfortless in our seasons of waiting, questioning, hurting, and emptiness. While we may not be able to discern why He is doing something or why He allowed a bad story to be written in the first place, He does pour out new mercies for us each morning of our lives. That means every day of our lives. Not just the days you feel hopeful, happy, or whole. Lamentations 3:22-23 is also one of my favorite passages, and as I pair it up with the verse from Ecclesiastes, the picture of God’s love is complete… extravagant even. Most versions of the Lamentations passage include the phrase, “His mercies are new every morning.” But The Message translation fits with Ecclesiastes 3:11 like two beautiful puzzle pieces, so snugly aligned that it is hard to separate them. It reads, “God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out, His merciful love couldn’t have dried up. They’re created new every morning! How great is your faithfulness! I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over). He’s all I’ve got left.”

So in the two different verses, we hear from people who are at the end of their ropes — Solomon and his father David. They’re miserable. They both endured great hardship, but they also had seasons of great luxury, completely saturated with every pleasure the world has to offer. They both reaffirm their conviction that God is in control of everything, and He loves His people enough to take care of everything in His way and in His time. Both authors assure us that during the “dry” times, it may seem or feel as though He’s left, but His faithfulness will prove itself over and over.

As I traced the outline of faded photos and the edges of old diaries, I recalled how many situations  seemed so tragic, so unredeemable at the time. From that vantage point and with only the experiences of a kid or young adult, the roots of my faith were not as strong as they are today. Of course, I’m not planning to decorate our house with tacky childhood artwork and faded trinkets, and I surely don’t want to spend time re-reading those diaries adorned with glitter hearts and pink butterflies. But I have found a new appreciation for the stories I had intentionally banished to the dark corners of our previous home’s attic. That’s because, from where I sit now, I can see God’s hand in almost every one of them. He did use them. He did redeem them. He did make me whole again.

One relic from my childhood is extra special. It has made it to a prominent position in our home and is on permanent display. However, it is not the original item’s significance or even its physical appearance that makes it worthy to come out of deep storage. I cherish it because of its brokenness. Originally it was a simple, average commemorative baby plate with my name and birthday painted on it. But almost 20 years ago, it was accidentally dropped and shattered in about a dozen pieces. The person who broke it had hurt me in so many other ways, that I seemed to transpose much of my disappointment and pain onto those shattered pieces. They were symbolic of my suffering, some of which I had brought on myself after a few years of very bad decisions. Looking at those small blue and white china pieces was almost like looking at my own heart and soul. At that time, I wasn’t walking close to Jesus. Despite all of that, I couldn’t bring myself to throw the broken plate away. There was some pull inside of me… perhaps just poetic romanticism… or maybe something deeper and spiritual in nature… that made me believe it could somehow be fixed. I wanted my life to be fixed, too, but I had no idea how God could ever bring healing at that point.

Fast forward a decade later, and God has made everything beautiful in His time. My husband’s sweet grandmother had a talent for creating mosaics from broken ceramics and old china pieces. Before she passed away, she lovingly made something completely new out of my broken treasure. With her help, it became whole again and far more resilient than ever before. And with true poetic romanticism, it sits in a place of honor it never would’ve had if it hadn’t been broken in the first place. I’m sure you know where this analogy is going, don’t you? Like the plate commemorating my birth into this world, Jesus had also lovingly brought rebirth to my heart and soul. Just as Grandma Ann gave new life and value to a cheap souvenir, God redeemed my life and restored hope to my wounded heart.

Since the plate broke and Grandma turned the meaningless pieces into a new work of art more than 10 years ago, I never realized until this week that such a beautiful story was sitting on my bedroom dresser. I’ve had a lot of readers and listeners ask me how I come up with ideas and stories for Glimmers in the Fog, and I think today’s message is a perfect example to share. So here’s how the idea came to me. For some strange reason, a few days ago, I found myself staring at the plate while putting on my earrings. And I was reminded of what a precious treasure it is because of who put it back together. That thought lingered for the rest of the day, making me smile when other things weren’t going smoothly. And then yesterday at lunchtime, I was outside squeezing in a much-needed power walk and asking God what He wanted me to write about this week. And as I struggled to tune my ears to Him and not my endless to-do list, I suddenly had a thought. Some stories shouldn’t be unpacked too soon. They need time to mature and mellow before they are opened up and experienced again. Just as a fine wine needs many years on a shelf before it can be appreciated, so God sometimes intentionally keeps things obscured from us until we’re prepared to see them properly. We just have to trust Him and not our own logic or assumptions.

Even more amazing, today is the anniversary of Grandma’s passing, which wasn’t even on the forefront of my mind while I marveled at her handiwork. My husband texted me this morning to remind me when I told him what I was writing about. I know that some people would say it’s merely a coincidence, but because I believe God is the source of all things beautiful, all creativity, and He does love a good story, there’s no doubt in my mind that He authored this poetic ending on purpose. It is the same truth expressed in Hebrews 11:1, which says, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” God loves us more than we can fathom or imagine, no matter what our perceptions and senses tell us. And He does make all things beautiful in His time. What an incredible reminder that no story God authors ever ends in brokenness. And the good news? All of our stories can be turned over to the greatest Editor of all time.

Five-Day Devotional Guide For Further Reflection and Daily Spiritual Journaling
These readings from today’s message can be used for a single-day study or your daily quiet time throughout the week. Before you begin reading the passage for each day, spend some time asking God to open your heart to His truth and hearing His voice.
Day 1 - Read Psalm 147:3 to focus your mind and eliminate your distractions. Ask the Holy Spirit to fill you and open your ears to His whisper. Then spend some time in quiet reflection at the feet of Jesus. Don’t say a word in your head or from your lips for at least five minutes. If it helps, you can listen to soft instrumental hymns. Then ask God this question: Father, what brokenness is within me that I haven’t released to you for healing? Write down the thoughts that come to your mind.
Day 2 - Sometimes, God allows difficulties and hardship to come our way specifically to lead us to a place of brokenness. Read Psalm 51:17 and spend time writing down anything that comes to your mind as a benefit of being broken in some way? What kinds of brokenness have you experienced? Are there any sins, rebellious ways, stubbornness, or pride that needs to be released or has been overcome in your life through brokenness?
Day 3 - It can be very hard to thank God for allowing us to be broken-hearted, rejected, and wounded. Yet the Word makes it clear that we are to thank Him in all things. Read 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 and James 1:2-4.
Day 4 - After we thank God for all things, the Word tells us to give Him praise. Lifting your heart to God when you’re grieving over difficult things, rejection, or losses takes great effort, but when you do, your heart will be lifted, and your soul will experience real joy. Read Psalm 147:1, Zephaniah 3:17 and Psalm 34:1-3, then spend time lifting your voice to Him — yes, out loud — through words of adoration and songs of praise.
Day 5 - No matter what suffering, pain, loss, or rejection comes our way, Jesus promises that He has already overcome. You can live with hope each day and believe that God will be with you. Read Lamentations 3:22-23, Jeremiah 29:11, and John 16:33 Spend a few moments asking God to give you a glimpse of hope, healing, and strength for whatever you are facing now or any “bad” stories you are trying to forget. Allow the Holy Spirit to unearth things in your heart that need His touch and then write down any themes of hope or encouragement that you hear from Him in the Scriptures or in prayer time.

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