10 Keys to a Contented Heart

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When most of us think of contentment, we usually associate the virtue with a sense of satisfaction or peace specifically about money or possessions. But contentedness is listed in the dictionary as an antonym to envy, and when you think of it from the opposite point of view, an entirely different list of scenarios arises. Certainly money-related discontentedness — like houses, cars, careers, and clothes — is a common trap. Still, there are two other major, less tangible categories of restless dissatisfaction that we are less likely to recognize or acknowledge. The first I’ll label the image and social status category. Everything from a person’s fitness level to their community standing falls into this list of everyday envy triggers. And the other group is the more subtle, but just as common bucket of dissatisfaction that is sparked not by jealousy or comparisons, but powerful, deep-seated longings, such as personal achievement and individual happiness.

No matter what category our source of discontentment lies, the longer we let it fester and grow, the more trouble we get into. When our desire for it is so strong that we become fixated on it, it’s absence begins to taint our outlook on life, reduce our joy, fuel our restlessness, and water a slow-growing seed of bitterness.
Having walked in our shoes, Jesus knows what it means for us to struggle with discontentment, envy, and restlessness. Even still, He calls us to holy contentment in all situations, surroundings, and seasons of suffering. In other words, He promises that we can be satisfied and peaceful resting in Him during in every discomfort, period of waiting, or unfairness. That doesn’t mean it’s never God’s will for us to be discontent or restless, because sometimes the Holy Spirit does move in our lives to stimulate healthy changes that need to be made. But even when God is pushing us to take up a cause, modify or eliminate habits, or initiate a healthy confrontation, a soul-level contentment should still remain even if our minds and hearts are growing restless for positive change. A soul-level contentment is firmly rooted in the knowledge that He’s in control and knows what’s best for us, even if our life is in a time of upheaval or waiting.

But how do we attain this soul-level contentment and arm ourselves against all types of dissatisfied restlessness, envy, and jealousy? As it is with so many instructions from Jesus, the concept is simple, but the implementation is difficult. Yet, He promises us that when we allow His Spirit to work in our hearts to bring about transformation, His burden will be easy, and His yoke will be light. And I think that is the most beautiful part about our pursuit of contentment — it is our yielding to His effort in our lives, not our own. It is our surrender, not our striving, that makes soul-contentment possible. Still, it is helpful to receive some practical guidance — something we can get our heads around and apply to our daily lives — from those who have walked this road before us.

One such person is Thomas Watson, who wrote The Art of Divine Contentment almost four centuries ago. Despite its date of publication, the keys to contentment it describes are just as relevant today as they were in 1653. I guess it doesn't matter whether you are grumbling because you can’t afford the newest iPhone, or your team of oxen won't plow your field fast enough, learning to be content with what we have and what life brings us is an age-old problem for any generation. For some of you, the rest of this blog will sound familiar, as I originally recapped Watson’s rules for contentment in a previous blog post a year and a half ago. But since I am currently struggling with discontentment during a season filled with both disappointment and waiting, I needed to revisit Watson’s brilliantly-worded roadmap for satisfaction in Jesus. Like a familiar sweater or favorite comfort food, Watson’s words remind me of God’s uncompromising truth in a warm, compassionate embrace.

For a self-confessed word nerd like me, the ornate language in Mr. Watson's book makes his quotes all the more intriguing and beautiful. However, I don't want 400 years of change in the English language and culture to get in the way of wisdom, so I've taken the liberty of paraphrasing and consolidating his 18 rules into 10 keys for a contented heart. And if your mind starts filling with objections as to why you can't produce contentment right now, he even has advice on objections and how to overcome them. Thankfully, he doesn't include ancient agrarian frustrations like misbehaving oxen, but rather serious impediments we can still relate to like a financial loss, death of a loved one, and betrayal by a friend. Life has changed dramatically in the last four centuries, but when it comes to matters of the heart, most everything is the same. So, without further ado, here are the 10 keys — with a few new additions along the way.
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Key #1: Put your faith in action.
All discontentment is rooted in unbelief. Having faith that God is trustworthy, that He is aware of your situation, and desires to help you through whatever life brings you, is the antidote to unfulfilled cravings and feelings of entitlement. When we determine in our hearts to trust that God knows what He is doing better than us, we put our faith in action. Psalm 84:11 says, “The Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” The problem is that we think we know what is better for us than God does. And here comes one of my favorite Watson quotes: “We imagine a certain condition of life as good for us, but if we were our own carvers, we should often cut the worst piece. We often see things in our own light, but if we could sort out and portion out our own comforts, we would get it wrong.” When we choose to believe that God alone knows what’s best for us, we’ll be able to receive the best portion.

Key #2: Work for God, not for money or your boss.
When we focus on serving God in every little thing we do — and we labor so that He will be glorified in our lives, versus money, achievement or accolades — then everything else falls into place. As Steven Curtis Chapman sings, “Whether you're flipping burgers or cooking up mergers, do it all for Him.” Sure, you won’t get it right all the time, but when you discover contentment in the fruits of your labors, no matter how meager or huge they may be, you will experience true joy and soul-deep peace. (See Colossians 3:23)

Key #3: Strive for humility.
If unbelief is the root of discontentment, then pride is its food and water. Pride can make a fledgling unbelief blossom into a full-grown thorn bush of discontentment, grumbling, and pessimism. “When you lay humility for your foundation, contentment will be the superstructure,” according to Watson. (See 1 Peter 5:6-7)

Key #4 Delight in the right things.
When we ask God to replace the desires of our hearts with His, we will be gradually transformed into vessels of joy and generosity, overflowing with satisfaction in our work, our relationships, and our financial situation. Meditate on Psalm 37:4 and discover real delight.

Key #5 Stay positive.
At first blush, this sounds like a cop-out, right? But Watson asks, “Who looks at the backside of a painting?” Instead, he admonishes us to focus on what’s beautiful, lovely, true, excellent, and praiseworthy. When we discipline our thought life, according to Philippians 4:8, the Biblical promise of transformation can occur.

Key #6 Don’t place your hope in people or things.
Everything in our culture today revolves around the idea of doing whatever it takes to make yourself happy. But happiness is a feeling, and contentment is a virtue. Happiness is temporary and contentment is a state of being that breeds peace and trust. When we look to people, things, jobs, circumstances, or money to make us happy, we will eventually be disappointed and even emptier than before. “The foundation of contentment must be within yourself. The word for contentment in Scripture signifies self-sufficiency,” Watson says. When you place your hope in God’s promises and direction, you will have strength and endurance from within. Psalm 33:20-22 encourages us to wait for God with patience and courage. When we let God bring the right things to us in His time, we find freedom from the slavery of envy and restlessness.

Key #7 Compare yourself to others the right way.
Comparing yourself to others is like walking on thin ice, you might fall through into a well of envy and end up drowning in discontentment. However, Watson encourages us to compare ourselves to others in light of Christ’s sacrifice and how He’s called us to honor and serve them as He would have. Jesus washed the disciple's feet, which was considered the lowliest act for the lowliest servant of the household. (See James 3:16)

Key #8 Adjust your perception.
In the field of public relations, there’s a common saying that perception is reality. That’s because we often believe what we think we see, and we see what we want to see. But within each of us there is an ability to change our perceptions, and with the power of the Holy Spirit, our vision can vastly improve over time. We can choose to see what we have versus what we don’t. We can choose to place a high value on spending time with friends versus spending money on the latest outfit. We can focus on things that bring glory to God, versus glory to ourselves. Watson says if we could cure our distorted, sin-trained perceptions, we would find the secret to conquering a discontented heart. (See Matthew 6:33, Romans 12:2)

Key #9 Meditate on the promise of heaven.
We are most tempted to be discontent at our extremes — when we are the happiest and when we are in the greatest discomfort. When everything is going well, we can be lulled into a false sense of security, and then entitlement, and eventually self-reliance. We don’t see our need for God because it is covered by all of our creature comforts. On the other hand, when nothing is going right, we can become despondent and fixated on everything we lack. And most of life is spent going between the two extremes. But when we place our “treasure in heaven,” as Matthew 6:19 says, our satisfaction comes from glorifying God in any circumstance. Paul said it best in Philippians 4:11-13, “In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance, and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."

Key #10 Pray… A LOT!
Back in the 1600s, physicians used a horrible medical treatment that makes me cringe. They would intentionally bleed patients thinking that the letting of blood would take the toxins with it. Although the practice is grim, I mention it to provide context for Watson’s statement that, “When the heart is filled with sorrow and disquiet, prayer lets out the bad blood. The key of a prayer oiled with tears unlocks the heart of all its discontents. It is the unburdening of the soul.” As we endeavor to find contentment deep in our hearts, prayer is the best medicine for a lifetime of soul satisfaction. When you spend a lot of time living in the King's throne room, your desire to wander the streets looking for trinkets vastly diminishes. (See 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)
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My fellow traveler on this road between birth and heaven, I have no idea what your root of discontentment might be. But, I do know this beyond a shadow of a doubt… We are called to rest in the waiting, not be restless in nervous anticipation of the unknown or the unreceived. Jesus gently urges us to rest in our heavenly Father’s best, not what our own minds tell us we need or want to be happy. May you be encouraged today that when you press into Him through the application of these 10 keys, you will find a respite from yourself and soul-level contentment in the arms of your Savior.

Five-Day Devotional Guide For Further Reflection and Daily Spiritual Journaling
The questions and readings below can be used for a single-day study or your daily quiet time throughout the week. Before you begin reading the passage for each day, spend some time asking God to open your heart to His truth and hearing His voice.

• Day 1 - Read Philippians 4:11-13 several times in a few different versions of the Bible. What areas of your life are trouble zones for a lack of contentment? (i.e. eating, shopping, neighbor envy, relationships, etc.) What is God saying to you about changing your habits, perspectives, or behaviors related to these trouble zones?
• Day 2 - The love of money is often at the root of discontentment. How has your desire for money, things, or a certain lifestyle fueled or impacted your contentment? Search for the topic of money using a digital Bible app or online Bible. What verses speak to you the most and why? Memorize and meditate upon the one that speaks to your heart the most.
• Day 3 - Read Psalm 27:14. Think back on a time when you had to wait a long time on something to happen or a long-desired change to occur. How did God use the time of waiting to spur you to rest in Him and trust Him more?  
• Day 4 - Read Lamentations 3:24-26. God’s timing is always perfect, even though to us, it may seem as though He has forgotten us or doesn’t understand the depth of our desires and needs. When have you been impatient for God to open the door and how can you see why He didn’t bring it about sooner?
• Day 5 - Which one of the 10 keys do you want to start working on today? Put together a plan to pray, study the Word, and create life boundaries around something specific to avoid temptation.

​What do you think of today's message? Comment and share your thoughts on this post! And if God brought someone to mind as you read or listened, please encourage them by sharing this post today!

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