When God's Love and Our Pain Collide

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There is a visually striking ocean phenomenon called “cross sea” that happens when two widespread wave systems intersect with each other at nearly perpendicular angles. Strangely, however, the distinct checkerboard pattern that is formed on the ocean’s surface is not caused by anything you can see in the immediate viewing area. The deceptively mesmerizing, but potentially dangerous spectacle is caused by two distant and incredibly strong storm systems colliding hundreds or thousands of miles away. The swells radiating from the forces of these opposing storms eventually intersect, putting people and boats in the crosshairs. And even though you would think that such a pattern would be rare, it’s fairly common. It just seems rare because you have to be positioned high above the water’s surface on a mostly windless day to see it clearly. Since days at the beach or on the water are often accompanied by at least a breeze, the opportunity to observe a cross sea is highly unlikely.  ​

Seeing God at work in our daily lives can often feel as rare as cross sea sighting. Yet the Bible makes it as clear as the Caribbean ocean that He not only cares about the details and struggles of our lives, He is actively involved in the minutia of our days. Like an invisible pattern on a vast ocean, His hand stretches out over the span of our years from birth to death, orchestrating our steps and encouraging us to simply follow His lead and trust His oversight. The concept is simple, but the execution is hard. 

Many of us may be familiar with the John Lennon lyric that says, “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” While that sentiment sounds highly agnostic and coldly cynical it’s not that far off from the real — but thankfully more comforting — truth. Proverbs 16:9 says, "We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” In other words as Emily P. Freeman recently said in her Next Right Thing podcast, “God will not let you miss your own future.” Now that’s not to say that we can’t do things that will put us far off course. Just re-read the story of Jonah and you’ll see exactly how God deals with us when we wander from — or purposefully rebel — to His calling on our lives. God used the power of the sea and a mighty whale to give Jonah a much-needed course correction. In that story, we vividly witness the force of God’s love colliding with Jonah’s self-induced pain to generate staggering results among a hurting and lost people. 

While it’s highly unlikely that God will use a whale to give you a course correction, the pattern of scriptures — which ironically can only be seen through the vantage point of the Holy Spirit’s enlightenment — makes it clear that God uses the events, trials, and sufferings of our lives to either adjust our direction or use our pain to administer His love to others. And the vast majority of the time, He is allowing the pain in order to accomplish both. That’s because God most often reveals and administers His love through His people. That is His pattern. And it is our assurance in times of questioning, wondering, waiting, and worrying. Though often mysterious, we can count on His ways to be consistent (James 1:17). And the only way to really see them is through the power of the Holy Spirit, which happens over time as we actively learn to trust in God’s sovereignty, spend time with Him, read and meditate on His Word, worship Him, and give thanks for all things and for all situations. 

This is not what we want to hear of course. This is not the pattern we want to see. We prefer to receive guidance without the struggle. We desire the blessings without the pain. That’s the nature of being human. It is why we all revert back to our five-year-old selves and cry out, “But that’s not fair. I deserve to be happy.” But Jesus whispers to us tenderly, “I know, my love. Believe me, I get it. Discomfort doesn’t feel good. Discipline is hard. Pain is heartbreaking. But when you learn to walk so close to Me that you can hear my thoughts and feel my ever-constant presence, everything in your life will be worthwhile. Everything will be redeemed for my glory. The nearness of Me in times of trial is sweeter, richer, and more pleasurable than even your happiest of days. But you’ll never discover that as long as mistrust dominates your heart and blinds your eyes to see the pattern of my hand at work in your life.”

One of the most soul-satisfying and joyful experiences you will ever receive on earth is seeing the fruit of your pain become life-altering nourishment for someone else engulfed by the same pain that previously dominated your life. Jesus said in John 16:33, "I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth, you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” When we stop fighting or denying the fact that we will encounter problems, and instead invite God to use whatever hardships we encounter for His glory, we become empowered to receive Jesus' promise to overcome. The problems still happen. The pain still causes hurt for a season. But we handle it like heavenly champions, rather than earthly spectators beaten down and going through the motions. We become vessels for the love of God. The dry and parched places of pain become well-springs of living water for others to come and find hope, healing, comfort, and hear the truth for themselves. Like the cross sea pattern, God’s love gushes out from us and collides with their pain, revealing the hand of a Creator compassionate enough to walk through the suffering before us just so we can see how it’s done and marvel at what waits on the other side. 

No matter what you’ve been through, what’s happening right now, or what the future may bring, a divine calling rests upon your life. It is your true identity. You are not merely a human. You are not just a faceless sufferer tossed about in an unfair world. What happens to you is not random. You have a destiny intricately designed to change or impact someone else’s trajectory. Every experience, every pain, every moment has a purpose. Each day holds a promise and is covered by mercies rolling over you like the swells of the sea. That is the truth. The problem is most of us cannot see that reality because we’re only looking at the height of the waves or what other people are experiencing around us. So the problems and the frustrating people around us fill our vision and blind us to seeing our lives through God’s vantage point. Opportunities roll by over and over because we only see them as obstacles. When all along, each one could carry us closer to Jesus and more equipped to minister to others. 

Isaiah 55:8-9 says, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” While none of us would probably dare to say this verse isn’t true, we often live like it’s a bald-faced lie. How? By spending way too much time doubting, worrying, and questioning every single moment of discomfort, unhappiness, waiting, disappointment, irritation, or suffering. It’s not that God can’t handle our anger or answer our questions. It’s that we’d rather dwell on the fact that things aren’t going exactly as we’d prefer them, rather than welcoming them and then growing through whatever He allows or causes. Jesus doesn’t ask us to deny or squelch our feelings, He just doesn’t want us to dominated and led by them. When we trust that His ways are higher than ours and are willing to receive whatever He brings through them, only then does the fog clear from our eyes and His tender peace settles on our hearts. And the higher we climb toward Him, the more the winds die down, enabling us to hear His still, small voice. For every season of suffering… for every peak of pain… there is a vista of hope that awaits us. Take heart, my fellow traveler, and simply believe He knows the way ahead. Love does always win in the end… we only have to stay the course set forth by the Captain of lives. 

For Further Reflection & Deeper Study

• Read Jonah 1-3 and ask God to reveal Himself to you through the story of this prophet who ran from the Lord’s calling. How do you see yourself in Jonah’s behavior? Which times of pain in your life do you think God intended as a course correction? Recall what happened and ask the Lord to fill your heart with gratitude and vision for how He provided for you during that time.
• Read 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 and then take some time to think of the greatest struggles and times of pain in your life. Journal about your reactions, frustrations, and feelings surrounding those times. Thank Jesus for carrying you through and ask Him to reveal to you any lingering bitterness or things you can do better next time with His help. Then ask God to reveal to you how — and to whom — He wants to use your pain to administer His love and comfort. You may want to find more encouragement by reading thisshort blog post on suffering or reading the book Where is God When it Hurts by Philip Yancey.
• The core of our doubt or unbelief is usually tethered to a denial or rejection of God’s sovereignty. We want control of our own lives and the outcomes. We want to be arbiters of what’s fair and when things occur. Take a deep look in your heart and if you suspect that doubt, denial, or bitterness exists regarding God’s rightful control over your life, I encourage you to read or watch this sermon by John Piper. Packed full of powerful verses and no-nonsense truth, it will challenge your growth and comfort your heart.
• If you struggle with anxiety, worry, and stress, I encourage you to check out this blog post, which includes some great resources (books, a video, and a free audio workshop) to help you find lasting peace in your heart and more calm in your life. 
• Please share your comments on today's post (see comment option below) and encourage others!

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