Blog: Glimmers in the Fog by Kim Stiver

Finding the Fear to Live Fearlessly

4/10/2019

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Finding the Fear of God to Live Fearlessly in Christ

Finding the Fear of the Lord to Live Fearlessly

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Remember back in school when all you wanted in life was to be like the most popular kid? You know, that guy or girl that every other kid secretly wanted to be? For most teens, an envy of this nature usually kicks in sometime during middle school and can last well into high school. I suffered from a jealousy complex in a big way. There was one girl in particular who mesmerized me. To my immature and very naive eyes, she appeared to have it all — beauty, brains, cool parents, the right clothes, a glittering social life, and dozens of ardent admirers, both male and female, who seemed to pivot on her every move. And it wasn’t until the beginning of my senior year when I finally realized all the time and energy I had wasted trying to get into her circle of friends. I finally began to understand that my identity was nothing like hers, nor could any amount of effort on my part change the perception of my classmates regarding my social status. I couldn’t fabricate the “it” factor or generate authentic coolness. The only thing I could be genuine at was simply being me. For any of us who’ve tried to be like someone else, the realization that we can only be who we authentically are is both liberating and utterly frightening.

It wasn’t until many years after high school when I finally made the connection between my struggle with personal identity and my spiritual maturity in Christ. Sure, I grew up hearing the expressions, “Just be who God made you to be,” or “God made you unique for His purposes,” but platitudes like those never seemed to make me feel any better following a party snub from Mesmerizing Girl or a searing rejection from my latest crush. What finally clicked in my brain and set me on a solid path to a healthy self-identity began germinating in my college years and didn’t fully bloom until my late 20s. What was it? Having fear. The right kind of fear, that is, which is described in Psalm 103:11, “For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His steadfast love toward those who fear Him.” Another verse I love is Psalm 34:9, “Fear the Lord, you His godly people, for those who fear Him will have all they need.” That second part really spoke to me, because I had previously thought I needed to be like other people to find fulfillment in life. Yet God clearly indicated to me through those verses that if I learned what it was to fear Him and walk in fear of Him (Acts 9:31), I would never lack for anything.

The concept of fearing the Lord is mentioned hundreds of times throughout the Bible, with many of the verses praising those who do so. People who receive honor and blessing from God or other people are repeatedly labeled in both the old and new testaments with a specific identity… they are a particular category of people… they are called God-fearers. They are identified more by this spiritual trait than their jobs, their wealth, their families, or where they’re from. Perhaps most notable about their collective identity is that it is always mentioned in a positive light. This is remarkable in today’s culture because fear is commonly described as a negative emotion to avoid. When we read a verse like 1 John 4:18 which says, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love,” we scratch our heads and wonder about the apparent contradiction. Why would God ask us to fear Him to the point of being marked by the fear, and then tell us that we shouldn’t have any fears because of His perfect love?

One of my favorite analogies to help explain the difference between the negative definition of fear and the positive practice of living in fear of the Lord, is from CS Lewis’ classic story The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. The hero who saves the day is the strong and powerful Aslan. In this quote from the book, Susan, who is one of the main characters, has asked another character, Mr. Beaver, to tell her about Aslan.

“Aslan is a lion — the Lion, the great Lion.” [Said Mr. Beaver]
“Ooh,” said Susan. “I’d thought he was a man. Is he quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion…”
“Safe?” said Mr. Beaver. “Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you.”

When we think of Jesus as the Lion of Judah (Revelation 5:5), which is where Lewis got his idea for the character of Aslan, the first question that comes to our heads shouldn’t be, “Is He safe?” That question comes from our own need to feel comfortable and secure. Naturally, our first concern is us… what’s in it for us… and how easy it will it be to stay where we are or acquire what we think we need? But when we shift our perspective to who God is, our first response should be one of complete awe of His power, justice, and purity. On our own accord, by our own means or goodness, we could not survive standing in His presence. But, because God is also the source of perfect love and compassion, we can have no fear of anyone or anything else — not even death itself. Just as Aslan was mighty enough to destroy Susan or any other creature in Narnia, his nature of perfect love drove him to lay down his life for everyone else. As a result, Susan, her siblings, and all the others in the realm were offered protection from all fears and dangers, especially the evil White Witch.

William D. Eisenhower crafted the best explanation I’ve read regarding the paradox of fearing God as a path to experiencing a fearless life. In his 1986 Christianity Today article “Fearing God,” he said, “Unfortunately many of us presume that the world is the ultimate threat and that God's function is to offset it. How different this is from the biblical position that God is far scarier than the world …. When we assume that the world is the ultimate threat, we give it unwarranted power, for, in truth, the world's threats are temporary. When we expect God to balance the stress of the world, we reduce him to the world's equal …. As I walk with the Lord, I discover that God poses an ominous threat to my ego, but not to me. He rescues me from my delusions so he may reveal the truth that sets me free. He casts me down, only to lift me up again. He sits in judgment of my sin but forgives me nevertheless. Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, but love from the Lord is its completion.”

As someone who has spent the majority of my life being afraid of something or someone, I long to grab ahold of Aslan’s mane and cling to him for dear life. I want to literally feel the breath from his fiery nostrils as he growls at my enemies. I want to see the muscles in his jaw ripple as he commands my fears to leave. But just as Aslan disappears at the end of Lewis’ epic tale and leaves the children with a promise of his presence, so God is asking me to humbly walk in daily awe of His power and trust in His perfect love to be with me, around me, and over me in any storm.

Oswald Chambers, the 19th-century missionary and theologian, said, “It is the most natural thing in the world to be scared, and the clearest evidence that God's grace is at work in our hearts is when we do not get into panics. The remarkable thing about fearing God is that when you fear God, you fear nothing else, whereas if you do not fear God, you fear everything else.”

And so, we return to where we started at the beginning of this post. What does your personal identity have to do with the fear of the Lord? Romans 8:29 tells us that our goal as believers is to become more like Jesus. Each day, God is working on us — if we let Him — to transform us into the image of His Son. So that means any quality, character trait, or action that Jesus has or did while here on earth is worthy of emulation. Isaiah 11:2-3 describes Jesus as the coming Messiah this way, “And the Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him, the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord. And his delight shall be in the fear of the Lord. He shall not judge by what his eyes see, or decide disputes by what his ears hear…”

Reading those verses stopped me in my tracks. Fear of the Lord is mentioned twice in that short passage. If we are to become more like Jesus… if we are to be known by His name… then we will yield to the Spirit the way He did. Jesus delighted in the fear of the Lord. As if this isn’t mind-blowing enough, ponder the fact that God delights in the awe and reverence of Himself in the person of His Son. God loves us enough to show us how — through the sacrifice of His Son — to find the deepest level of satisfaction a human can ever know. As adopted sons and daughters of God, bearing His name and His identity, Proverbs 9:10 tells us, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.” Having a strong identity in Christ is grounded in having a fear of the Lord.

What does all of this mean on a real-world, super practical, down-in-the-trenches level? When we’re actively walking in the fear of the Lord — through no power or effort of our own, but instead yielding to the work of the Spirit — we are far less likely to worry and future-trip, fly off the handle in anger, gossip and slander, harbor jealousy, cheat, or any other sin. Our awe of who God is — both for His justice and His incredible power — convicts our hearts, while the outpouring of His perfect love assures us that He will be with us every moment. We cultivate our fear of the Lord to live fearlessly for Him. Can we do it perfectly? Not even close. Will we have stops, starts, and backward progressions? Yes. We are not the Perfect One described in Isaiah 11. But we are human vessels for the Perfect One, so when we allow Him to shine through our weaknesses, others will see glimpses of fearlessness. Tiny visions of glory. Rays of hope. And they’ll want it too. Don’t be afraid to grab hold of the fear of the Lord. Is it safe? No. Is it good? Oh yes.

For Further Reflection and Deeper Study

Take some time to reflect on your understanding of the fear of the Lord and what it means in daily practice. How has your perception of it changed (either from when you were growing up or when you first started following Jesus)? What statement or scripture from this message resonated with you the most and why?
How have you let fears dominate your life? Which ones have plagued you the longest? How does the concept of fearing the Lord challenge your perspectives on the power and relevance of those fears? Google “verses about fear of God,” read a few of them, and then pick one that speaks to your heart to memorize. Pray it back to God and ask Him to make it real in your life.
Developing a healthy practice of fearing the Lord brings with it many more blessings than just fearlessness. Based on the verses you just looked up, list out the benefits of fearing God. Which one of those benefits do you long for the most and why?
If you like the CS Lewis stories and you’re looking for a daily devotional for your quiet time with God, consider this one: Walking Through the Wardrobe: A Devotional Quest Into the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by Sarah Arthur. The book is primarily aimed at teens and young adults, but the author’s Biblical insights are deep enough to challenge even the most seasoned believer.

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Fight Your Fears with the Fear of the Lord

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Why Every Soul Needs Spiritual Sandpaper

3/13/2019

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Why Every Soul Needs Spiritual Sandpaper

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My grandfather was a master at furniture restoration and even better at seeing treasures hidden among trash. He could transform an old wooden chair found at the garbage dump into a delicate turn-of-the-century masterpiece. As a little kid, I was regularly astonished at what he brought home. A truck-full of broken or ripped, and often dirty, furniture pieces would go into his workshop only to emerge a few months later as pristinely restored antiques capable of fetching top dollar from any one of the local interior design shops.

I had a particularly close relationship with my grandfather because every year growing up I stayed with them for at least a month during my summer breaks from school. One summer morning I was hanging out in his workshop to watch him refinish an intricately carved piece of mahogany. Naively thinking that I could accomplish the same results, I asked him if there was something I could work on myself. I can still remember the knowing smile that came across his face as he looked up from his project. While I can’t remember his response exactly, I think it went something like this: “Sure, I’ll find something that you can take home with you when you leave. Let’s start on it tomorrow.”

The next day he came home with a small, basic bookcase. And my face must’ve said it all because I recall him saying something like, “Don’t worry, when you’re finished with it, it will look completely different. Let’s go look for the tools that’ll get the job done.”

My grandfather knew that experiencing the process of restoration and appreciating the value of hard work was more important to teach me than the actual refinishing skills or my desire to produce something ornate or beautiful. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I wanted a shortcut to satisfaction. I wanted to be proud of myself and receive praise for my fine attention to detail. My grandfather, on the other hand, knew I needed to start with the basics and go through my own refinement process before I tried to tackle something that would only end in a mess if I attempted it right now. Not only would my little project end up being the opposite of what I envisioned, I would also learn nothing while simultaneously being terribly disappointed in myself.

Like my grandfather, Jesus worked wood with his hands most of his life. The vast majority of what we read about Him is described in the miraculous beginning of His life or the short three years of His earthly ministry. But what about the other 29 years? Well, Jesus likely filled up at least 16 or 17 of those years by quietly shaping rough, inflexible wood into smooth, well-formed works of usefulness. His father Joseph would have begun Jesus’ training in the workshop at a young age so that he could quickly move past the common errors of a naive apprentice and become a productive, income-generating member of the household.

Jesus could’ve had any job during His years of preparation and maturation. The whole point of years 1 through 29 was so that He could experience what we experience — being fully human and dealing with the hard realities of living in a sinful world with other people who do irritating and often unloving things to each other. The point was to live enough of the typical human journey to prove to us that He gets it. He knows living here is just plain hard. And unfair. Therefore, I don’t think it is particularly important that He was a carpenter. But it is certainly poetic. And our God does love a beautiful allegory. As humans, we relate to stories emotionally, which open up our hearts more quickly and more fully to not only hear truth, but also be vulnerable enough to let it sink in and spark us into action.

Because God chose to start His Son’s training with the hard physical realities of going to work every day to shape hard, unwilling objects, not to mention deal with cranky or unrealistic customers, Jesus undoubtedly learned the truth of allegory and how to apply it to real life very quickly. As a carpenter, Jesus learned at the deepest level — both emotionally and physically — what it meant to grow and mature as a human in this harsh climate of mistrust, betrayal, undeserved pain, loss, and longing. Therefore, we can rest assured that when we walk through trials, unsettling change, new projects, intense longing, waiting, or dealing with life-draining relationships, Jesus knows what that feels like and is shaping the situations to propel us into a new level of spiritual growth.

In the book How People Grow, which is the definitive work on the many facets and processes of spiritual development, authors Cloud and Townsend drive home the point over and over that life itself — with all its issues, ups, and downs — is a classroom for growth taught by the Holy Spirit. Everything that happens in our lives, from the tiniest details to the most pivotal moments, is an opportunity for spiritual growth. All growth is spiritually related. Everything in our lives is spiritually connected. Our humanity and the activities and events that come with it cannot be separated from our hearts and souls. The various projects of life that Jesus allows to come our way are like the very sandpaper used to smooth out the rough edges of raw wood. The key lies in training ourselves to see it that way and then humbly and lovingly yielding to God’s refining hand. Just as my Grandfather did for me and Joseph did for Jesus, God is lovingly guiding us to trust Him that the work He sets before us is for a reason. When our outlook is one filtered through love and trust, everything is an opportunity to mature our character, further purify our hearts, draw us into more dependency, and ultimately glorify God.

Most days we don’t recognize the spiritual sandpaper that God brings into our lives. As it does with a tree, growth doesn’t typically happen quickly or in huge spurts. It is the little moments of triumph that build over time to make us like a strong “tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season.” (Psalm 1:3a) What are some of the spiritual sandpapers that are just waiting for us to see? Virtually everything is a growth opportunity, no matter how minuscule or incremental. Most people realize that trials and suffering regardless of their unpleasant nature are necessary and significant means of growth (Romans 5:3-4). But some of the most common ones we miss are hard work, waiting, mistakes, longing or lack, and people. Variations of those things occur every day in all kinds of ways. Perhaps read that short list again, and if you feel a little nudge from the Holy Spirit about any of them, look at the bottom of this blog post. There, I’ve listed out each one with encouraging Scriptures.

When God brought the Israelites out of Egypt and finally brought them into the promised land over the Jordan River, Joshua 4 tells us that they planted a stone marker on the shores of rescue. In the same way, we need to record and treasure our mile markers of spiritual growth. We need to recall, revisit, and rejoice in each hard lesson learned. Why? So that the enemy’s lies won’t be successful later in whispering words of doubt in our ears about God’s faithfulness and promises. So that we will remember how we got through something and avoid repeating the same mistakes. So that we can look back in times of discouragement and be strengthened for the journey ahead. And there are many more reasons. If I persuade you to do nothing else based on this message, then my prayer is that you at least try jotting down what God says to you, has done for you, and is teaching you on a somewhat regular basis. Whether it’s a journal, the note app on your phone, sticky notes by your bed, or whatever is convenient, find a way to capture your milestones and how you got there. It can be bullet points, sketches, fragments, or ramblings. Most of all, it doesn’t have to be perfect. Nor will it be shared. It’s just between you and God. And if you happen to live in Southern Maine, I’ll be leading a class this Spring where we’ll talk about some of the most important types of spiritual growth, including non-burdensome, joyful ways to capture what God is teaching you. More information about that and other online resources on spiritual growth are also included at the bottom of this post.

I still have that small, humble bookshelf my Grandfather and I made together. You might be wondering how it turned out. Well, it is indeed simple, but I think it is one of the most beautiful things I own. I love every blemish on it because they are mistakes that I made with my own hands and my Grandfather lovingly showed me how to correct as I moved forward. It has gone with me everywhere since that sweltering summer of rebirth. After I completed it, I learned later that my Grandfather had stayed up late the night before making it for me from old scrap wood left in the shop. Discarded, scarred planks that would’ve been burned in their old wood stove once the chill of autumn set in became something I have cherished for almost 30 years. It is the only thing I have that he made with his own hands. And knowing that he sacrificed to make it just for me so that I would have the opportunity to grow still brings tears to my eyes. He wasn’t a man of many words, but his loving thoughtfulness and wisdom by example still echo in my life all these years later. The bookcase now sits in my favorite room in our house — the guest bedroom. And it is stocked with… you guessed it… books on spiritual growth. In some small way, my Grandfather’s gesture has touched every person who’s borrowed a book from the shelf. And while there’s no way for me to know the full extent of the lessons he taught me, I do know the effects of the sandpaper he gave me that day yielded far greater results on reshaping my young heart than it did on that bookcase.

For Further Reflection & Deeper Study
Beyond the obvious types of spiritual sandpaper in our lives, such as trials and hardship, there are many everyday ones that have the power to incrementally shape us over time. Spend some time praying before you read this list, then read the scriptures for each, and ask the Holy Spirit to point out any you might be ignoring or missing out on.

Hard work. Working diligently with joy for the Lord on a consistent basis develops our character, endurance, and humility on many levels. Colossians 3:17, Proverbs 13:4, Philippians 2:14-15
Waiting. Waiting for anything, whether short or long, serious or trivial, teaches us patience and trust. Psalm 27:14, Psalm 130:5 (You may also want to check out this blog post on learning to wait the right way.)
Mistakes. God can redeem and use anything for His glory if we let Him — even our mistakes and sins. Beyond the incredible humility that smooths out our sharp pride, mistakes push us into the arms of Jesus. Psalm 37:23-24 is a very insightful passage about God’s guidance and love even when we fall or make mistakes.
Longing and lack. Whether it’s material, physical, emotional, or relational, when our desires go unfulfilled and our ability to obtain is removed, we have a choice to fill the void supernaturally or stuff it with temporary pleasures. Philippians 4:12-13 (You may also want to check out this blog post on contentment.)
People. Whether it’s someone we love or a stranger at a stoplight, we encounter people who act as sandpaper every day. Eugene Peterson once said, “We humans keep looking for a religion that will give us access to God without having to bother with people.” But Scripture clearly indicates that we are all interconnected and made to love each other. Proverbs 27:6,17 tells us that faithful — other words, helpful — are the wounds of a friend and reminds us that iron sharpens iron. As for the people who drive us crazy without good motives, we grow when we treat them as Jesus would. Ephesians 4:29-32

Additional Resources about Spiritual Growth and Capturing Your Journey

How People Grow, by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
RADIATE: Growing on the Inside to Radiate Jesus on the Outside, by Kim Stiver
RADIATE the Class: Offered Spring 2019 at Eastpoint Christian Church in South Portland, Maine — Wednesdays at 6:30pm starting on April 3. Overview: The more we lean into Jesus and let the Holy Spirit work in our spiritual core, the more we will radiate Him to others and share His love. Offered in a relatable, easygoing style and appropriate for both men and women, RADIATE will help you learn how to apply eight transformational spiritual disciplines to deepen your walk with God. For more information, email Kim directly. A class registration link will be posted to the church website on March 17.

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The Most Neglected Way to Grow Closer to Jesus

2/20/2019

Glimmers in the Fog

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