My spine isn’t straight, but most people don’t know that about me. From a casual glance, the untrained eye would have no idea that I have a significant spinal rotation that makes the muscles on the right side of my back and core weaker and less efficient. And while that may sound like a significant issue, it hasn’t held me back from any of my usual physical activities. I’m not a great athlete, my balance isn’t stellar, and I’m definitely a klutz (I’m not sure whether to blame that last one on my spine or not!), but overall, my deformity is not something that’s altered the course of my life.

Until recently, I’ve rarely even thought about this hidden issue. While I have my suspicions, I don’t even know for certain how or when it occurred, which really blows my mind. One would think that if something happened to damage my spine, it would’ve produced enough pain to drive me to the hospital. But the medical professionals I’ve talked to through the years all say it is possible to suffer that kind of spinal trauma and not realize the severity. But as I’ve gotten older (sigh!), the imbalances caused by the rotation are starting to catch up with my mobility and interrupting my sleep. So off to physical therapy I go to re-activate, teach, and strengthen some muscles that have become shorter and weaker ever so subtly day by day, year by year. What once was a hidden, ignored, and unobtrusive oddity quietly morphed into a life-altering, obvious problem that now requires a substantial amount of my time, focus, and energy to correct.

Just as our spines are designed to be the balancing rod of our bodies, so our spiritual backbones are intended to keep our souls pointed in the right direction. The human spine is made up of more than 30 individual bones, all symbiotically connected to the main spinal cord, and our spiritual backbone is no different. There are multiple components of a healthy spiritual spine, from trust and love to patience and purity, and they evolve, respond, and hopefully improve throughout our lives. Of course, the healing of our spiritual injuries and deformities is not as simple as scheduling our next session of physical therapy because God’s rehabilitation of our lives involves every aspect of our beings — bodies, hearts, minds, and souls. And just like my current list of PT exercises, the disciplines God lovingly designed to keep us pointed toward Him are sometimes required in greater dosages.

Although every person is born with a spiritual backbone — the very imprint of the Creator Himself — it is rarely given the attention it deserves and often deteriorates quickly as life bombards us with its challenges, disappointments and temptations. Just as our bodies sometimes cope with stress by making unhealthy adjustments, so our spiritual backbone can rotate or curve, throwing our life out of balance, clouding our judgment, and eventually sending us into a place of atrophy. Most of our culture today is severely lacking any spiritual fortitude and is dominated by fragile emotions, minimal commitment, and self-indulgence. On the other hand, when the soul is rightly aligned, endurance, honor, life balance, maturity, and emotional stability become hallmarks of our lives.

Depending on how we handle life, the hardest of times can leave us with hidden, sometimes irreversible damage. For example, my spiritual backbone bears the marks of deep-seated worry and anxiety, for which I have learned to apply God’s PT repeatedly. Whether its permanent damage from systemic anger, bitterness, doubt, addictions, abuse, lust, greed, control issues, or pride, we all wrestle with one or more chronic weaknesses. Like Paul who battled a “thorn in his side” throughout his ministry, my inclination toward worry may never go away, but through the gradual, repeated application of God’s remedy, my primary weakness has become one of my greatest teachers.

Is your spiritual backbone strong? Is it aligned with Christ? Are there parts of it not facing the right direction? Are you suffering from permanent damage? Most importantly, have you asked the Holy Spirit to reveal your hidden injuries? We all have them in some way, but spiritual health, mobility, and strength can never occur if we don’t ask God to give us the eyes to see how far off we are, to believe in the only true cure, and to understand how to apply the right Biblical therapies and disciplines.

When we are actively trusting in and abiding in Jesus, the Holy Spirit offers us a soul infusion of Christ-like characteristics, even when there has been extreme damage in the past. Galatians calls this infusion, which spreads to every corner of our being, the fruits of the spirit.Galatians 5:22-24 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” In the Holy Spirit’s power, we can move toward the spiritual backbone God originally intended us to have, regardless of our weaknesses, failures, and mistakes. Our lifestyles will be marked by endurance, committed relationships, compassion, a thirst for holiness, humility, honor, and self-sacrifice for others. But the Great Healer will never force us to take the prescription. He wants us to submit willingly out of complete love, trust, and gratitude for the ultimate sacrifice He made through Jesus on our behalf.

Paul made peace with the thorn in his side, yielding his desires to God. When he did so, he discovered all sufficiency in Christ to the point where he could boast about his weaknesses. Can you imagine walking into a crowded party of both your friends and strangers and loudly proclaiming your greatest weakness? This is the dichotomy of spiritual balance: to accept our weaknesses, but never excuse them. We are called to strive for change and growth, but to learn to be content where God has placed us.  2 Corinthians 12:7-12 (The Message version) puts it so beautifully and clearly:
Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn’t get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,
“My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness.”Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.

Having a spiritual backbone is making peace with your weaknesses, not ignoring them or indulging them, and then letting Jesus transform them into a strong collection of dynamic characteristics that move in concert to more fully believe, trust and love God. When we do, that love will naturally overflow to others around us, inspiring them to develop their own spiritual backbones.
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I almost never fall off my paddle board, so very early on one cool summer morning, I decided that the lake looked too perfect to miss even though the temperature outside was still hovering near 55. Since my toes turn into human ice cubes when cool air is combined with moisture, I decided to try wearing water shoes while paddling. Although I had never worn shoes on my board before, I had seen other people do it, so it seemed like a win-win to me — warm toes and a little extra padding for comfort. At first, they were quite comfy. In fact, for a moment I thought wearing shoes on the board might become my new norm. I certainly felt warmer, and everything seemed stable. But that train of thought went off the rails the first time I shifted my weight. I might have felt comfy and stable, but when the need for adjustments came, I quickly discovered that I had significantly underestimated the impact on my balance of wearing shoes. Without direct, bare contact with the board, my ability to feel the slightest movement was dramatically minimized. The extra layer between me and the board nearly threw me in. Far more than my toes almost turned into ice cubes, not to mention how bruised my pride would’ve been.

Sometimes we add things to our lives in the name of self-protection, happiness, or comfort, yet they turn out to be entirely unnecessary and occasionally even harmful to our spiritual health. Because our humanity pushes us to rely on our own senses, feelings, and experiences, we end up layering on all kinds of requirements, habits, methods, etc. But often God wants to expose us to the elements for a reason. While these add-ons may be helpful for a season (or not), they can often end up interfering with our sensitivity to the Holy Spirit and God’s intention for our lives. 

In a similar fashion, we read in the Bible that the Pharisees had added much to the Torah (the Jewish Scriptures) with endless rules and regulations for people to follow to be right with God. But then Jesus showed up on the scene and boiled faith down to two simple things: love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind and love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:36-40). It’s easy to forget how revolutionary the words of Jesus were at that time and still are today. But that’s exactly what he intended. He came to upend us. Imagine the widespread shock and counter-cultural backlash to His declaration that all the laws of the prophets could be reduced to two simple things. That would be like the country’s top lawyer proclaiming that our entire body of laws, from traffic ordinances to tax law, can be reduced to just two requirements. When Jesus said that pleasing God comes down to something so seemingly simple, it literally threatened to rip the very fabric of the Jewish culture. The disciples and most of Jesus' followers were raised and taught to revere and follow all the laws of their faith. And what Jesus said upended everything — their entire lifestyle was turned upside down. 

Changing the way we think is not easy. Bucking the predominant culture is difficult. Doing a 180 pivot from what your parents, other relatives, and teachers ingrained in you is downright arduous. Allowing yourself to be defenseless… raw… vulnerable… and completely real with Jesus is nothing short of a miracle. It is a work that only the Holy Spirit can do. It is something we see modeled in scripture time and time again, and if we are truly pursuing God above everything else, it is something that the Holy Spirit will keep leading you to do. And just when you think the layers are finally gone, He’ll show you another one… and another one. 

If this sounds exhausting or discouraging, reject that thought immediately because it’s a human reaction. It’s a feeling that Satan knows how to stir up in you, throw in your face, and eventually condition you to obey so that it becomes your normal pattern. But it’s not normal in God’s pattern. We were created in the image of Him, which means when we surrender back to God what He designed from the beginning to commune with Himself, we find what He intended as not only normal, but also powerful and exhilarating. Every layer we allow the Holy Spirit to reveal and peel back is one step closer to God's original design for us. 2 Corinthians 3:18 says, “So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like Him as we are changed into His glorious image.” The work of the Holy Spirit, which He asks us to partner in, is not an exercise of never-ending exhaustion, but a most beautiful and exciting journey toward splendor. With our human layers, we cannot see this future glory, but by yielding to the Holy Spirit’s power, a deep-seated “knowing” begins to burn within us. 

Paul understood this more than we can ever fathom. Scholars estimate that he was about 30 years old when Jesus appeared before him on the road to Damascus. Saul, as he was known at that time, was on his way to find, publicly scorn, and kill Christians. His upbringing, his advanced learning, and his incredible intelligence were all working in perfect concert to make him an efficient, cunning, and passionate litigator and assassin. In one swift move, Jesus ripped away all of Paul’s layers in an instant and then left him to recuperate with the very group of people he had been determined to destroy. As the Holy Spirit worked to rebuild Paul out of the ashes, He outfitted him to be the catalyst that reached the rest of humanity — the vast majority of the earth who knew nothing of the religious layers required by the Pharisees. If Paul’s conversion had not been so radical, so complete, his eyes would’ve never roamed outside of his Jewish world. He would’ve never seen the image of God imprinted on the hearts of people who were not like him. 

Likening our journey with God to that of a race, Paul said in Hebrews 12:1-3, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before Him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”

Do I think that Paul never got tired? No, he was still human. He may have been walking closer to God that most of us, but prison, shipwrecks, snake bites, and social ridicule wear on any person. But any time he became discouraged, we know where he found the strength and the hope to continue. He focused on the future splendor that burned within and asked God to remove yet another layer so that he could feel the warmth of its glow even more. Just like us, when he needed strength, he recounted the stories of the faith warriors who went before him. Just read Hebrews 11 and you’ll know exactly what Paul’s pep talks sounded like. He starts it off with, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Another of his most famous pep talks is found in Romans 8. In this amazing passage we are assured of God’s love for us, promised our future destiny as heirs, given a vision of the glory that’s to come, supplied with the secret to finding strength in our weaknesses, and triumphantly bestowed the new identity of conqueror in Christ. Now that’s a pep talk!

The shoes of comfort, obligation, and skepticism only keep us from sensing the Truth and responding to the direction of the Spirit. The layers in our lives may feel good and seem to promise protection. They may have even served a good purpose for a season. But anything that keeps our souls from being bare before Jesus, will eventually be targeted for removal by the Master Surgeon. We can participate in the search and willingly embrace the surgery, or we can run away to only have Him bring us back to it again and again. Like a marker in our lives, we can either keep circling it until our feet have worn a deep groove of unbalance in our faith, or we can yield to the Spirit’s leading and make it a monument to our growth and healing. As a believer in Jesus, your spiritual feet are already standing on the road to glory, but moving forward means leaving your shoes of self-preservation far behind.  ​
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The time we have on earth is a lot like living in a big backyard surrounded by an unscalable wooden fence. As believers, we know that an eternal life waits for us on the other side, light years better than anything we can see or understand from our vantage point here in the backyard. But because we can’t see through the fence, we depend on faith to assure us that there is indeed much more in store for us than the routines, struggles and earthly pleasures of our everyday lives. 

Every now and then, however, we are blessed to come upon a knothole in the fence. It might be something someone says at the perfect moment, a fleeting sense of wonder, or even a momentary vision, but these often unexpected knotholes give us tiny, yet enlightening, glimpses into God’s miraculous work behind the scenes on our behalf. Sometimes we find them right after a difficult trial when our eyes are suddenly opened to see why God allowed certain events to occur. Other times, a glimpse happens right out of the blue through the power of a scripture passage, a timely word from a friend, or a moment of worship. Like precious evidence in a scientific investigation, these small insights build our faith over time and encourage us to keep going through the toughest of seasons.

Prayerful stillness is one of the best ways to find knotholes, especially if you find yourself sitting in the backyard staring in frustration at the fence line, instead of flourishing where God’s placed you. We’ve all been there… frustrated, discouraged, or maybe even feeling betrayed. We believe God must be working, but we’re tired of only looking at that big, stationary fence. We long for movement, change, improvement… anything, really. And if we’re not careful, our longings will eventually eclipse our desire for God Himself, and then we risk camping out at the fence line forever. And this is where prayer comes in — not with a goal of finding the knotholes, but with an aim of knowing and depending on our Heavenly Father more and more whether we can see what’s on the other side or not. 

We can spend hours, days, weeks and even years asking why, when all God wants us to do is be still before Him, humbly listen, and then obey. Even when we take the time out from our jobs, commitments, and chores, we often remain busy in our minds. The to-do lists, over analysis, and worries, spin in our head, drowning out any chance of hearing His voice, feeling His comfort, or seeing His hand move. Prayer, scripture meditation, and solitude in God’s presence are the antidotes to an obsession with staring at the fence line and asking why over and over. God can reveal deep things in our prayerful stillness that we simply cannot perceive, or receive, when we’re busy with life’s demands or consumed with worry. 

Stillness is hard. Solitude is practically a lost art. And if you’re an extrovert, like me, these spiritual disciplines are even more difficult to cultivate. But the “whys” of life will never stop. As soon as one unknown is revealed, another one will always pop up. The Enemy of our souls knows this and uses the crazy busyness of our lives and our minds to make sure we never find peace in the storms of fear, doubt, and unanswered questions that flood our backyards. But Jesus says, “Peace, be still” to our hearts, minds, and souls. In fact, peace is mentioned more than 400 times in the Bible, and Jesus talked about it repeatedly with the disciples. He knew that our tendency toward busyness would choke the life out of our spiritual health, so He modeled the practice of stillness and solitude (Luke 6:12, Matthew 14:13). Jesus wanted to make sure the disciples understood that nurturing a deep intimacy with God the Father, was foundational to the abundant life He promised them. Repeatedly, He left the busyness of ministry and the demands of His closest companions to be alone with God.

It took me many years to realize that the reason I couldn’t see many of God’s divine knotholes was that I was focusing on the storms themselves instead of keeping my eyes on Jesus, despite the unsettling circumstances swirling around me. I used to expect Him to make everything go away, rather than holding my hand through the struggles and unmet expectations. I used to keep myself so busy I could ignore the storms on the horizon, rather than being still with Jesus and letting him teach me, prepare me, and then lead me through them. Every time a new trial comes, I struggle to keep from reverting back to my old habits, but God has always been faithful to make me stronger when I trust Him.

In the gospel of Mark, we see Jesus’ habit of quiet time with God at the very beginning of His ministry. “And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, He departed and went out to a desolate place, and there He prayed. And Simon and those who were with Him searched for Him, and they found Him and said to Him, ‘Everyone is looking for you’.” (Mark 1:35-37) Notice that Jesus went far enough away from them to truly get alone with His Father. Also, He didn’t give in to the mental busyness associated with His work or relationships. We often forgo quiet time with God when the expectations of people around us are particularly pressing or close-by. Jesus’ example in this passage especially spoke to me, as I have had a series of summer house guests for more than a month. While I tried to carve out the time and a place to be alone with God daily, it didn’t always happen. But on the days it did, I had abundantly more grace, joy, generosity, and love for those staying in my home. And exhibiting the love of Jesus to my guests was far more important than how much lobster they ate, swimming they enjoyed, or the wildlife they observed.

Jesus, of course, didn’t need knotholes in the fence of earthly life to know what His Father was up to. We read in John 5:19, “So Jesus said to them, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of His own accord, but only what He sees the Father doing. For whatever the Father does, the Son does likewise’.” So if Jesus Himself needed solitude with His Father, then how much more so do you and I need it to get through the days, months and years? As Jesus was one with the Father, His sacrifice ensured that we could also be one with God through the gift of the Holy Spirit (John 14:26, 16:7). When we’re open to the movement of the Holy Spirit, we just never know when He’ll stir our hearts and awaken some new, previously unknown corner of our spirits. Whether clear and strong or muted and gentle, the Spirit moves to help us grasp or experience His truth, direction, and presence in life-altering ways. No matter how the knothole appears or what form it takes, it will most often come in a moment of stillness. The Psalmist said, “Be still and know that I am God,” (46:10), and Isaiah urged, “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength. (30:15)”

The backyard of your life might be a thriving pleasant landscape, or it may be undergoing a major renovation. It might be a place filled with weeds or as barren as a desert plain. But no matter what its condition, God planted you there or is allowing you to linger there for a reason. You may not see any knotholes in the fence and even feel like the boundaries are getting smaller, but He longs to create an oasis for you right in the middle of it all. Through intimate moments alone with Him, your heart can overflow with gratitude, sink into deep peace, and laugh with joy, whether you’re enjoying a season of plenty or climbing a mountain of hardship. The backyard of life can only have one Master Gardener, but we have to let Him come inside to do His work on a regular basis.

Questions for Reflection and Spiritual Journaling

• Read Psalm 46 and Mark 1:35-37. Spend some time praying and asking the Lord to reveal Himself to you. Write down what the Holy Spirit whispers to you.
• How often do you practice complete stillness before the Lord? How do you think you could work more of this practice into your lifestyle?
• Reflect on a time when God revealed something to you in prayer or meditation. How did you know it was from God? How do the habits of Jesus encourage you to spend more time alone with our Heavenly Father?
• One of the most powerful ways to spend time with Jesus is to imagine yourself in His presence. Take some time to envision yourself having a conversation with the risen King. What would you say to each other? What kind of setting is most appealing to you and why?

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Sometimes an amazing opportunity or idea can appear at what seems like the perfect time and be naturally aligned with your talents, but it turns out to be a mistake after all. Other times, you can have a deep, intuitive feeling of just knowing that it must be the right thing to do, but it can still be a mistake. Whether it’s a big blunder with long-lasting ramifications and or it’s a small, but frustrating one that becomes a complete hassle to get out of later, these kinds of opportunities and ideas often take you by surprise or pop in your head out of the blue, making you inclined to feel like it’s fate or that it’s the hand of God suddenly intervening in your life. It might be a new career path, a volunteer opportunity, a creative idea, a “once in a lifetime” deal on a major purchase, or even a request from someone you admire to serve God.

Any of these incredible possibilities may authentically seem like the right thing to do — without question, analysis or research. And if you were to even think of passing one of them up, one of your friends or co-workers is likely to ask you, “Why would you pass that up? It’s a no-brainer!” So, the pressure mounts both internally and externally to say yes because you don’t want to miss out on something or feel stupid for not accepting the obvious.

I have made these kinds of mistakes repeatedly in different ways and in each instance it usually ends up costing me an unbelievable amount of time, an exhausting level of effort, significant emotional or relational consequences, or unforeseen expenses in a myriad of formats. Many times, I have learned hard but life-changing lessons through these mistakes, but other times I have missed the point entirely and end up doing the same thing all over again. Sigh. A few years ago, for example, I volunteered to serve in a capacity that appeared to be a “no-brainer.” Saying yes also seemed to be so obvious that I didn’t even pause to wonder what the consequences might be if it wasn’t what God wanted me to spend my time on. I just assumed because the opportunity was offered by a visionary and respected leader that it would be the right choice for me. Long story short, it wasn’t. Not even close. And untangling myself from it once I got deeply involved turned out to be next to impossible for quite some time. When it was all over, I couldn’t help but ponder what better tasks God had set aside for me during that time that I had missed out on.

In the classic devotional book My Utmost for Highest, the great theologian Oswald Chambers wrote extensively about learning to live by the Holy Spirit’s guidance and not our own — from the tiniest seemingly inconsequential decisions to the grandest life-altering ones. Because there is no way I can say it better than him, here is a paraphrased passage from the book:

There are times when you cannot understand why you cannot do what you want to do. And sometimes God puts a blank in our lives. Don’t ever try to fill in that blank for Him. Wait on Him to fill it. You may think that you see clearly what God’s will is — a certain action or decision — but never do it on the impulse of that feeling. If you do, you will end up making difficulties that will take years of time to make right. Wait for God’s time to bring it around and He will accomplish it without heartbreak or disappointment. Wait for God to move.

Oswald goes on to talk about the Apostle Peter and his behavior in the days leading up to the crucifixion of Jesus. Peter did not wait on Jesus. In his mind, He had already imagined being tested and succeeding, but the reality didn’t play out that way. He vowed to lay down his life for Jesus, but could not fulfill it as he promised because he did not know himself as Jesus truly knew him. Peter’s natural devotion to Jesus out of his own will and emotions wouldn’t be enough to sustain him when his life was threatened.

The same goes for us. Our natural talents, skills and ability to reason will only carry us so far when making a decision about an idea or opportunity. Yes, God gave us a brain to use it, but His intention was that we submit it to Him for shepherding of the thought process. When we move in the Holy Spirit’s leading, versus our own, every gift we possess has the potential to be empowered by Him. We were created in His image and when we operate within His framework any opportunity or idea can be effectively evaluated through His perspective.

Conversely, there are tireless enemies at work to fool us into thinking that we can — and should — think and react on our own. One of these enemies is ourselves when we operate under the influence of pride. We think that we’re smart enough to handle decisions — especially the tiny ones. And that’s exactly when a tiny thing transforms into a giant ogre and knocks us on our butts. The other enemy has been around since the dawn of time. He slithered into the Garden of Eden with the same bag of tricks he uses today. He whispered a great idea in Eve’s ear. A simply tantalizing and very reasonable idea just popped into her head. The element of surprise is a hallmark of how the Enemy works best. The reason this tactic works so well is that we erroneously think that sudden chances must be acted upon quickly. The Enemy works his evil logic best when we feel that we’re under pressure. “Act now or you’ll lose the opportunity,” he whispers in our ears. Or even more insidious, “This idea just presented itself so suddenly, it must be God talking. You had better obey and do it now.”

New flash for us all, myself included: the Holy Spirit is not a high-pressure salesman. God will always give us time to seek Him. News flash number two: God doesn’t normally provide direction through circumstances alone. If life presents you with a great idea or opportunity, the Holy Spirit will work to provide you with confirmation, usually through specific Scriptures, in prayer, and wise counsel. (If you want to read more about how to hear God’s voice, check out my previous blog post on this topic: part 1 and part 2.)

So let’s go back to Peter for a moment and imagine yourself in his shoes on the night before Jesus was crucified. You have physically walked with the Son of God for three years… seen miracles and even performed some yourself. In your flesh, you might have a feeling that you are “all that and a bag of chips.” You are confident of what God can use you for. You are “mature.” And then, the One whom you believe is the Messiah is suddenly taken from you and brutally beaten. Your confidence is shattered and others look at you with accusing stares. Under pressure, logic tells you to deny that you even know Jesus. After all, self-preservation is paramount at this point. And in an instant, you’ve gone from the height of self-admiration to the pit of self-loathing as you watch Jesus being taken to the cross.

But Peter learned — and so can we — that once we get to the end of ourselves, we will find the beginning of the life He actually intends for us. In John 15, Jesus reveals both the key to letting God make the decisions for our lives and the reward of doing so. Verses 4-5, 11, and 13 say: “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing … These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full … Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”

In this amazing chapter, Jesus foreshadows His coming sacrifice and simultaneously counters Peter’s denial with the command to “lay down his life.” He also explains that when we abide in Him, God’s plan for us will be fulfilled. We will bear good fruit by learning to literally breathe, think and move within the framework of our personal relationship with Him. As we abide, He will prune us. It will hurt. But operating under His influence we will be able to see the purpose in the pain and visualize His dreams for us coming true, i.e. the fruit, and ripening into joyous sweetness and savory satisfaction. In this passage of Scripture, Jesus brilliantly covers all of the decisions we’ll face in life — from the smallest to the biggest of all, self-sacrifice for others.

Peter’s transformation after the resurrection gives us all clarity into who we can be if we base our decisions on Jesus’s knowledge of who we are and what’s best for us, rather than our own interpretation and reliance on ourselves. We must determine to reach the end of ourselves and our self-sufficiency in order to realize that there is not a strand of ourselves to rely on again. In that utterly destitute place, we become completely fit to be used by God and receive the Holy Spirit’s wisdom and direction.

Charles E. Hummel in his little booklet Tyranny of the Urgent said, “But the root of all sin is self-sufficiency—independence from the rule of God. When we fail to wait prayerfully for God’s guidance and strength, we are saying with our actions, if not with our words, that we do not need Him. How much of our service is actually a ‘going it alone’?”
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Our natural devotion, abilities, talents, reason and imagination are not enough to bear true spiritual fruit. And if we manage our priorities and make our decisions without taking the proper time — whether it’s a moment or many days — to seek His direction and confirmation, then we will always be straining to produce fake fruit. It might vaguely resemble fruit in some saccharin or plastic kind of way, and we might feel satisfied for a while. But only ideas, opportunities, work and service generated while abiding in Christ will blossom and produce eternity-changing fruit and authentic joyful fulfillment.
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Every now and then we wake up to a different world from the night before. When we went to bed yesterday evening, things might have been normal, stable, or even occasionally boring. But upon rising the next day, we wake to find out someone or something has changed suddenly, forever altering the course of their lives, ours, or both. A phone call you would never want to receive. A breaking newscast you would never want to see. A routine doctor’s visit that turns into an unexpected concern. A heated or hurtful disagreement with a trusted co-worker, friend or family member. It’s these kinds of upheavals that shake us out of our comfort zones, reveal our delusions, and threaten to create fissures in our faith. 

In every one of life’s disturbing moments, we have the opportunity to view everything that happens through the lens of a belief in a sovereign and loving God, or through our own human perspective. Of course, the problem that confronts every single one of us — from pastors to atheists — is our humanity itself. The human experience is all we naturally know or can understand. It is all we can physically see, touch, and manipulate. Sure, for some, an experience with the supernatural occurs. For others, a belief that miracles are possible comes more easily. But for the vast majority of people, we are indelibly marked with the limitations of our physical existence and struggle mightily to trust a God we cannot see during times of suffering, waiting on the unknown, grief, or extreme disappointment. 

Ironically, what we each struggle with the most can vary wildly from person to person, yet the ultimate effects on our faith and trust are universally similar. One person may be the most shaken by a health crisis, but weathers extreme financial hardship with relative ease. Another may worry excessively about relationships and pleasing others, but doesn’t fret a moment about going through a job layoff. Yet no matter what particular issue scares you or worries you the most, the challenge is the same: how to trust God and effectively receive His supernatural peace and contentment in any type of hardship or struggle. 

Our Natural Inclinations Deceive Us
Perhaps most disheartening is when we think we’ve made progress in our greatest area of "trust weakness,”and then our world is shaken in a way that sends us back to the edge of a downward spiral of doubt, fear, worry and future-tripping. “But, God, I thought I was past this,” we often plead in prayer. And this is it — this is the big moment. This is the place where we are at the most pivotal and potentially amazing point in our journey of faith. Sadly, though, many of us pivot the wrong way. The way we are naturally inclined to go… deep into a pit. Our biological capacity to reason, analyze, speculate, and wonder starts literally screaming at us. Humans do not tolerate the unknown or discomfort easily. The mind is inclined to nag and nag until it can find relief or determine the answer. And because it’s all we physically know, it simply feels like the right action to take. So the pit of worry, despair, anger or discontentment is often lined with shelves stocked with counterfeit “products” promising comfort and peace, like denial, over analysis, future-tripping, wallowing in the past, over-eating and junk food indulgence, drinking too much, gossiping, working too much, and whatever else seems to make us feel temporarily better or helps us forget about our problems. 

And there’s one additional thing that bombards us during difficult times — temptation. The enemy of God knows that when we are at the pivot point in times of crisis, we are prime targets to be tempted by false comforts and counterfeit peace. And if he can use any of those tricks to hook us for long-term, then he’ll do it. So if these pivot points represent such great danger, why does God allow them in our lives? If He is sovereign and loves us, why doesn’t He always and instantly flood us physically with His supernatural peace and contentment instead of permitting us to struggle with finding it during times of hardship and mental distress? 

Natural Creation vs. the New Creation
Put simply, it’s because our loving Father wants us to learn to pivot toward Him and away from the natural inclinations we have toward the pit. Yes, of course, He could supernaturally turn us toward Him. And there are times where that will happen in life. But He created us with a free will to choose to turn to Him. We can choose to trust Him and love Him… or not. The Bible makes it clear that God created us in His image to have fellowship with Him, not to be robots who only love Him because we have to do so. And this is the paradox of the gift of free will: we can choose to remain in our naturally flawed sinful human state, or we can pursue His promise that when we pivot toward Him we will be a new creation as promised in 2 Corinthians 5:17. 

The trouble with our perspective is that we can only see through the eyes of natural creation. It is not possible to experience the reward of supernatural peace and contentment without first making the choice to pivot toward being a new creation. This is why Paul tells us in Hebrews 11:1 that the essence of faith is believing in something we cannot see. Our natural state wants instant gratification. We want to feel the promised peace before we take the risk of trusting. God says we need to make the choice to trust Him, obey what He has asks us to do (i.e. not to worry), and THEN He’ll shower us with the supernatural peace and contentment we need to endure the hardship, learn from the experience, grow in our faith, and then love others by helping them through similar struggles. Later in that same chapter of Hebrews, Paul gives detailed examples of faith put into action before the actual promises were fulfilled. From Abraham leaving his homeland to Rahab courageously putting her life on the line for strangers, we are assured that God’s promises are always fulfilled, even when we can’t see or fathom how with our own minds.  

Temptations and Promises are Mirror Images of Each Other
I don’t think a single one of us would give into the temptation of worry, anger, bitterness, resentment, despair, etc., if we could experience the real consequences of those sins BEFORE we choose to give in. Even though a temptation may be familiar, it will always be enticing because it appears to offer relief, peace, comfort or pleasure. And our natural minds gravitate toward anything that provides instant gratification versus hard work. Temptations are Satan’s counterfeits of God’s promises. And just like God’s promises, the real impact of indulging in those temptations can’t be experienced before we actually commit the sin. Of course, the real impact of God’s promises is always for our good. The real impact of sin is always to our detriment. Temptations — whether they come from within ourselves or from Satan — are designed to lure us without any resistance and obscure the consequences. That is the very nature of their structure and intention. God’s promises are designed to teach us to love Him better and they clearly declare the rewards of doing so. In either case — temptation or promise — we don’t experience the ultimate outcome until we’ve actually committed the act. 

God Gives Us Choices in Order to Bless Us
There is no greater love than what our Father has for us. He gave up a part of Himself in the person of Jesus to ensure that we can make a choice for eternity with Him forever. We can freely choose to love Him, and the more we learn to love Him, the more we will experience glimpses of our eternal home while we’re here on earth. Jesus said we will have trials of many kinds, but every single one of them —without fail — comes with a choice and a promise for those who pivot in the right direction. I’ve pivoted into the pit countless times. And usually it’s the same pit over and over and over. I am sick and tired of that pit. But each time I choose to pivot away from the pit — even if it’s just for a few minutes, a few days, or even months at a time — the Holy Spirit’s guidance, peaceful presence, and empowerment in my life becomes more consistent. Sometimes, my natural mind doesn’t see the spiritual improvement, it easily forgets how far I’ve come, and reverts back to the old creation in a heartbeat. But the grace of Jesus is boundless and incomprehensible. And He always wants me back. 

King David pivoted into pits. A lot. And yet the Bible calls him “a man after God’s own heart.” He said in Psalm 40:2, "He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.” This is a promise you and I can bank on. There’s no need to spend time blaming yourself when you revert back into a familiar pit. Instead, kick Satan’s guilt and incrimination to the curb, and give a freedom cry at the top of your lungs, “I have a choice to be free of (fill in the blank), and I choose to love and trust Jesus in this moment.” Believe me, you may find yourself asking for forgiveness for not trusting God many times over. The Holy Spirit will certainly convict your heart to make you aware of that sin, but He will never, ever make you feel guilty for coming back to Him. 

Jesus Stood at the Edge of the Pit Too
Trusting in the unseen rewards of God’s promises is hard with human eyes. Jesus never denied that, in fact He was sympathetic to our plight and confirmed His compassion for us over and over while He walked the earth. Even He struggled to the point of sweating drops of blood the night before He was arrested by soldiers in the Garden of Gethsemane. We have a loving Father that has experienced what it’s like to be human in the most excruciating circumstances. The pit Jesus stood on the edge of was the greatest chasm in human history. So next time you’re facing suffering, waiting, and hardships of any kind, arm yourself to pivot away from the pit. God gives us the tools we need to learn and grow if we choose to use them. There is nothing that can come at us, that He doesn’t intimately understand and empathize with. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says, "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” In context, this means that when we operate in cooperation with the Holy Spirit, He will give us eyes to see what we cannot, if we believe. Through prayer, studying and memorizing God’s Word, and meditating on His Truths, we become stronger and smarter with each choice we make. None of this means, however, that the pits won’t continue to pop up throughout our lives, but it does mean that we will gradually become more like Jesus was in His ability to overcome them. 

The courage to face our fears and pivot from life's pits is best summed up by the end of Romans Chapter 8. “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Amen indeed. 
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The expression, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” is one of the oldest in modern English language, dating back to the early 1500s. Apparently the doubt about people’s ability to change is so universal, we have dozens of similar expressions across the world and throughout history, like “a leopard can’t change his spots” from the Bible, or “you can’t teach an old monkey how to pull a funny face” from France, or “an old parrot can’t learn to speak” from Spain.

Clearly, most people are more comfortable using animal references to make a joke about their assessment of a person than they are directly addressing the issue. It’s just easier to try and laugh it off than to ponder whether or not we truly believe that a person who frustrates us or has hurt us in the past can really “turn over a new leaf,” to use another common euphemism. (Sorry, I couldn’t resist!)

Many times, we find ourselves falling into one of two mental camps when it comes to the people in our lives, depending on how important they are to us. For some who irritate us or have offended us in the past, we may prefer to avoid thinking about them, their ability to change or not, and simply do our best to evade situations or discussions that may spark certain reactions or behaviors. For others, particularly those who mean the most to us, we can go to the other extreme and spend WAY too much time overanalyzing their words and actions. We constantly try to read between the lines of what they’re saying, or sometimes we don’t let them finish talking because we already think we know what they’re going to say.

Both mental camps are not only unhealthy for us, they are also not where God calls us to hang out.

Unfortunately, I have spent way too much time in both places throughout my life. I have gone out of my way to avoid someone who I don’t believe will ever change, and I have believed the worst about someone based on my own very inaccurate perceptions and erroneous assumptions. I have been known to interrupt someone when I think I know what they’re going to say based on their past behaviors. I have created all kinds of reasons in my mind why someone has or hasn’t done something, and I have assumed that someone doesn’t like me or is angry with me based only on a fleeting look. And all of these barely scratch the surface!

I share all of this so that you know this message is from someone who’s right there in the trenches of life with you. Loving people as God commands us to do so is hard, hard work. John 13:34 says, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” And the fact that we are creatures of habit, often makes that calling even harder. We know our own propensity for bad habits and thoughts, so we make the erroneous assumption on a consistent basis that likewise someone else is acting out of habit or thinking the same way they always do.

In the classic book, Loving God With All Your Mind, Elizabeth George deals with the issue of not believing what other people say or doubting that people can — and do — change. In 1 Corinthians 13, she highlights two convicting principles when it comes to loving others by God’s definition. Verse 5 says love “keeps no record of wrongs” and verse 7 says it “always trusts.” Other translations say love “always believes.” Whenever we make assumptions about what another person says or does, we not only violate these principles of loving them as Jesus would, we stress ourselves out. In a sense, when we question what someone is saying, we are calling him or her a liar in our hearts. By not taking what they say as true and at face value, we are placing ourselves in a position of analysis and judgment, and trying to give ourselves a responsibility that only the Holy Spirit has. We cannot read people’s hearts, minds and motives — no matter how smart, intuitive, and experienced we are. And when we try to do that, we malign them, we cause ourselves emotional stress, and we erode the foundation of trust between us. Imagine how sincere our relationships would be and what good listeners we would become if we spent time truly hearing what another person says to us instead of automatically filtering their words and actions through past mistakes or behaviors.

Philippians 4:8 tells us to think about, or dwell on, only things that are true. That means things that we know are verifiable and clearly true. Not what we speculate. Not what we infer. Not what we imagine. And perhaps, most importantly, not dredging up what happened in the past and assuming that it the same as what’s happening right now. Paul further encourages us to press on in our effort to pursue the Gospel and specifically to forget the past (Philippians 3:12-14). In everything, we are to be forward-looking, believing that God is continually working in us, in others, and in our circumstances to make us new creations for His glory.

Now, I’m sure someone reading this is wondering about discernment. What about wisely protecting yourself from someone who’s repeatedly hurt you? What about someone who has deluded themselves and does say things that aren’t true? Are we supposed to listen to them?

This is where it is critical to understand the difference between Spirit-guided discernment and self-centered judgment. Life presents us with all kinds of complicated situations and relationships, and each of them needs to be approached by praying, studying scripture, and seeking wise counsel when needed. That being said, at the most fundamental level, we can boil the difference between judging others and Godly discernment down to a humble attitude and a loving approach. Martin Luther said that we should preach the Gospel to ourselves daily, in that we are all sinners in need of grace. If our motivations lie anywhere outside of complete humility and love, then we are in danger of judgment. When we have to say something difficult to someone based on what is true, we are not only called to treat them with the same kind of love Jesus did, but also model His humility in our approach. Sure, there are the rare occasions where it wouldn’t be healthy for you, or someone who’s hurt you, to continue a conversation or perhaps even continue the relationship. But God’s word gives explicit instructions in Matthew 18 on how to address conflict and move on in grace. (If you are particularly struggling with a conflict right now, here is ahelpful article that walks through the Biblical process with very practical application.)

For most of life’s daily interactions, however, it really is about acting on what we profess to believe. If we truly believe that God can change people, and if we want to love others like Jesus did, then our actions will reflect that belief. If we truly believe that the Holy Spirit is working in our lives and that our hearts are in His hands, then we can trust that He will take care of what we cannot see, what we do not know, and what people’s true motives are. We only have to yield to the Holy Spirit and let Him give us fresh ears, renewed eyes, and a gentle tongue with every conversation… with our spouses, our kids, our friends, our co-workers, our teammates, our neighbors… simply everyone. Loving others as Jesus did is like changing a leopard’s spots for a human being — it is impossible on our own. But loving others by letting God do the work through us is like teaching an old dog new tricks — it is possible with patience, consistency and repeated obedience.

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A call to leap off the cliff of self-reliance into the free fall of complete trust
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God simply cannot be understood or completely explained by human beings. Perhaps this is an obvious statement to many, yet billions of people in the world — particularly intellectuals and those under 40 — are increasingly choosing to be atheists because they can’t prove or comprehend God or His ways.  Just a little bit of research unearths countless articles and studies about the rise of atheism. Yet how do we explain to unbelievers why it is impossible to have a personal, deep, life-guiding faith in God unless you can delight in His mysterious nature and incomprehensible sovereignty?

Perhaps even more disheartening are the many prominent self-professing Christians who spend countless hours writing and speaking about the mysteries of the Bible as if they are only allegories, legends, and hyperbole, in order to make belief in God more comfortable and acceptable in our modern culture.

At the other end of the spectrum, many conservative Christians seem to do everything they can to avoid people with challenging questions, particularly those grounded in science and logic. And while God is indeed sovereign and we should have a child-like faith in terms of our trust in Him, we often hide behind those two truths in order to squash any signs of unbelief, doubts and contradictions from those who are struggling with the existence of God.

Put this all together, and you come down to one essential issue: atheists don’t want to believe in a God they can’t comprehend or prove, and many Christians across the spectrum aren’t offering anything relevant to them. So the question I have been asking myself is, do I have the courage to reflect the true incomprehensible God, without watering anything down or putting up walls to avoid being challenged on the hard questions, like suffering, evolution, and global inequities?

When I think of having great courage for Christ in today’s culture, one person keeps inspiring me, particularly because he stands up for what he believes on a daily basis in a secular, science-driven, politically-charged workplace. And most of us think that our working conditions are non-conducive to living out our faith! He is both an MD and a PhD in physical chemistry, which means he is brilliant. He was appointed to his role by a Democrat and he has survived under a Republican, which means God’s hand is upon him. His name is Francis S. Collins and he is currently the director of the National Institutes of Health. For a decade from 1993 to 2003, he headed up the National Human Genome Research Project, leading a team to completely map the entire language of our DNA. Francis is one of the world’s foremost geneticists and an evangelical Christian who is unafraid to address the hardest, most intellectual questions anyone can ask him. Although you may not agree with his personal convictions about Biblical theology on every detail, his unabashed declaration about the existence of a loving, involved God to the scientific, medical, political, and intellectual communities is nothing short of a miracle. Of course, Francis is quick to say that his influence is none of his doing, but a humble submission to God’s work in his life.

In an in-depth interview with NPR back in 2007, shortly before his bestselling book, The Language of God was released, he said that there is no reason to believe that faith has any less evidence than science. He goes on to explain that science is only valid for investigating nature, and that while he sees evidence of God’s existence in nature, God would not have any meaning if He were constrained or contained within the bounds of nature. In his DNA research and in his medical experience, he says he repeatedly saw proofs or “signposts” of God. The problem is, he said, is that many scientists and intellectuals reject faith because they believe it must be arrived at through emotion, versus clear thinking and logical evaluation. “But just because science hasn’t caught God in our microscopes, doesn’t mean there isn’t enough evidence to prove that He doesn’t exist … I actually do not believe that there are any collisions between what I believe as a Christian, and what I know and have learned about as a scientist. I think there's a broad perception that that's the case, and that's what scares many scientists away from a serious consideration of faith.”

The Bible tells us straight up that we cannot understand God, but that by believing despite our doubt, we will be made complete in Him and thus overcome our doubts. Ephesians 3:19 says, “May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” Renown theologian AW Tozer said that humankind was created to think with fully engaged minds in partnership with the Holy Spirit. Even the most scholarly of minds is incomplete until his or her spirit receives the breath of the Holy Spirit. “If I can understand God, then I cannot worship God. I will never get on my knees and say, ‘Holy, holy, holy’ to that which I can figure out.”

The Bible makes specific, and sometimes shocking, truth claims, and they are facts whether or not our personal experience or intellect confirms them to be so. Some of these truths are hard for even Christians to accept, so why are we shocked when non-believers, particularly those in the scholarly community or younger generations, reject them and pose smart, intelligent questions to us? We weren’t there when God spoke the stars into existence or hung the rainbow following the global flood. We can’t fathom the depths of love He has for us by giving up His own son so that we might live forever in fellowship with Him, no matter how sinful we’ve been or weak our faith has been. We cannot see the full span of history and infinity of the future and understand why things happen as they do. But His word and history have proven His truth and steadfast love over and over.

Francis came to Christ because his highly intellectual mind recognized the “signposts” of God through experiences in the scientific and medical fields. By the time he approached a neighborhood minister, he had developed a list of extremely challenging, if not polarizing, questions. Instead of getting defensive, evasive or downplaying them, the minister talked lovingly and openly with Francis and recommended that he ponder the words of another scholar who turned from atheism to belief — CS Lewis. Reading Mere Christianity was the beginning of Francis’ faith journey and now God has placed him in one of the most influential roles in our nation.

For those who follow Christ, Paul gives us a great example to follow when it comes to addressing the hard questions. In Acts 17:11-12, we read about a group of Jewish scholars who were exceptionally intellectual. “Now these Jews were nobler than those in Thessalonica; they received the word with all eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see if these things were so. Many of them therefore believed, with not a few Greek women of high standing as well as men.” Paul was not afraid to engage with them as they “examined the Scriptures daily” to test what he was saying. Later in that same chapter, we see Paul visiting Athens, where he encountered non-religious intellectuals steeped in the traditions of Socrates and Plato. Again, he was firm on Biblical truth, direct in addressing their questions and misguided conclusions, but very compassionate toward their need to understand the mysteries of the Christian faith. We read in verses 32-34 that some of them mocked him, but others were curious and became influential ambassadors of Jesus. I believe that none of them would’ve come to Christ if Paul had been too afraid or ashamed to speak the truth in love, even if it meant some ridicule. And you may be thinking, “You don’t understand — I am no Paul.” None of us are, but all believers have the same power inside of us that Paul did, capable of producing supernatural courage. If we’re willing to walk into a verbal challenge for Jesus, the Holy Spirit will come through for us with the words needed in the moment of action, and not beforehand.

Our calling is not to dismiss, argue, condemn, ignore or evade the ones who bring challenges, no matter how smart, stubborn, or misguided they may be. We are not called to change to their minds or convince them that the Bible is true, only the Holy Spirit can do that. Therefore, if it is not our responsibility to convert anyone, the pressure is off. We don’t have to assert our rightness, we just need to offer a loving, open, and responsive heart to receive, listen and answer as best we can. When we don’t know or don’t understand something ourselves, all we need to do is humbly say so and try to thoughtfully point the person to credible experts or resources they might appreciate. And, most importantly, we pray. Pray a lot. Pray to ready yourself before the encounters come and pray for the questioner after every conversation. God allows every person across your path for a reason. And it’s your job to just let Him shine through you. That’s it. The questions might be complex, but living out our love for Jesus is quite simple.
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It’s that time of year when everything is growing and blooming like crazy in Maine, so that means our yard is finally alive with resplendent color… and constantly coated with a thin film of yellow pollen. It somehow finds its way into every corner of my house, prompting my inner clean freak to wipe surfaces incessantly and creating the need for me to take an allergy pill daily. But just when I start to get really annoyed, I pass by the snow shovels in our garage and immediately adjust my attitude with the not-so-distant memory of long, dark icy days when nothing can survive in my yard.

Without that much-needed attitude adjustment, I doubt I would’ve even noticed the most remarkable thing in my yard. Early one morning this week, I was looking out my window and saw a determined purple iris growing right out of an area covered in gravel and rocks. Just feet away, there was soft, fertile earth beckoning, but that single iris was growing right where it was originally planted many, many years ago by the previous owner of our property. Because we’ve lived in this location for more than a decade, I was not only surprised by the perennial’s hardiness, but equally disappointed by my lack of attention to it before.

As I pondered the struggle the iris must face each year to rise up among stones and then blossom in unpleasant conditions, I couldn't help but think about the times in our lives when God plants us in places we don’t want to be in. He sees the hard, unforgiving stones and gravel as opportunities for growth, and we tend to see them as nothing but bad luck, adversity, and disappointment. He wants us to learn to depend more on Him and become a bright spot of color on an otherwise barren landscape. But we tend to focus on the lack of comfort and companionship, and beg the Master Gardener to plant us somewhere else… anywhere else.

When we enter a season of life that places us in unfamiliar terrain that is rough and demanding, we may feel the angled, painful edges of rocks around our hearts, minds or bodies. Sometimes we resist, wilt and give up. Sometimes our stubbornness kicks in and we try to push through even when we know we shouldn’t go in a certain direction. And other times we do what God calls us to do — to completely trust Him, even in the midst of extreme discomfort. This means persevering, praying and waiting on Him for strength, relief, or perhaps replanting somewhere else next spring. When this time of waiting and endurance happens, whether you are in that difficult place for an hour, a day, a month, a year or a decade, you will always come out of it having leaned into Jesus more deeply and more fully than you could have ever imagined.   

Unfortunately, many believers never experience the kind of joy that flows from a heart that accepts God’s sovereignty to either place us in — or allow us to be taken to — a hard place. Sovereignty: now that’s a word you don’t hear every day. While most of us probably think of a monarch, like the Queen of England, the truth of the matter is that no king, president or dictator in history has ever possessed real sovereignty, which is defined as “supreme power and authority.” God tells us in Daniel 4:25 that, “The Most High is sovereign over the kingdoms of men and gives them to anyone he wishes.”

Wow. Think about that. That’s hard for you and me to swallow, isn’t it? What about cruel dictators or embarrassing world leaders? What about our personal pain, like cancer, a job loss, or a failing relationship? What about the dreams God has planted in our hearts that seem to take years to materialize? The trials of life and negative thoughts come at us from every angle and Satan will attempt to use every single one of them to make us doubt God’s sovereignty. That’s because the evil one knows that our belief and unwavering trust in God’s authority and power is crucial for our spiritual “success” in life.
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Imagine being an early follower of Jesus in the years of hardship after His resurrection and ascension. The apostle Peter was crucified upside down for the cause of Christ. Paul was beaten, jailed, bitten by a snake, and suffered great personal affliction on an ongoing basis throughout his life. They, and the countless believers who suffered gracefully in the centuries that followed, all looked to Jesus as a role model for accepting and thriving under God’s sovereignty. When Jesus was enduring the beating, the ridicule, and agony of his trial and crucifixion, He laid His life down of His own accord in willing surrender to his Father’s sovereignty (John 10:18). We know from scripture that He had to be willing to surrender and play the position God had put Him in. Luke 22:42 tells us that Jesus earnestly pleaded with God about the difficult position He faced: “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will but yours be done.”

Waiting, seasons of suffering, and learning to glorify God in the role He’s placed you in is an uncomfortable thing to ponder. If you’re in a season of comfort and rest right now, going back to a place of stone and striving is not something you want to think about. The subject of God’s sovereignty can also be unsettling and even divisive depending on who you’re talking with about it. Yet understanding it, accepting it, and trusting in this attribute of our Heavenly Father is one of the most important keys to finding true peace and joy in this life.

Most importantly, the very existence of God’s sovereignty means we are not in control. Acknowledgment of this fact, and the ramifications of it in our lives, is the most uncomfortable feeling of all. The majority of people spend a lifetime denying God’s sovereignty and struggling needlessly with the stony places. The more they resist being where God has placed them, attempt to control the situation, and try to change things on their own, the more hardness and bitterness take over. And before any of us think that denial is always obvious and overt, remember the last time you worried about something or coveted something… even a little thing. Anytime we allow the desire for something we don’t have, whether it’s a person, a feeling, a healing, an opportunity, or material possessions, to take up more of our thoughts, actions and time than our desire for God, then we are denying His sovereignty.

So the next time you’re upset about something that seems unfair, wrong, unbearable and utterly insurmountable, remember that while you may not understand it, God is sovereign and His knowledge, foresight and complete love for us far surpasses anything that our very, very small minds can fathom. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”

When you stop fighting the place where He’s planted you and you learn to depend on Him for every nutrient of life, you will blossom in the hard places, bringing the fragrance of hope and the color of God’s glory to the many struggling around you. When we root ourselves in love, we will then emanate that love to others, no matter where we’re planted (Ephesians 3:17-19).

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What goes through your mind in the first few seconds after you realize that you’ve lost your keys or misplaced your smartphone? In the moment of losing something valuable, we can find ourselves losing our minds trying to think of where we left it, retracing our steps, or calling everyone in our address book inquiring about the lost item (if you didn’t lose your phone, that is). Your mind may even be flooded with questions and doomsday scenarios, depending on what you’ve misplaced. Even if it’s something we can replace fairly easily, we can so quickly fall prey to losing track of time and wasting hours searching for it.
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Most of us also know that feeling of panic followed by frantic, sometimes irrational, searching. When I think I’ve lost something critical, like my wallet or my iPhone, I instantly turn into this comic book version of myself. Without stopping to think rationally or calmly, I start uncontrollably searching through my handbag, eventually getting to the point of dumping it all out into one big mess on the car seat or kitchen table. It’s truly an overblown, automatic frenzy. And one that makes me feel completely silly, and sometimes embarrassed if someone else is watching me, especially when I find the missing item in the pocket of a jacket or somewhere else I intentionally left it.

As you think about that feeling of losing something important, imagine magnifying the intensity of it a hundredfold… maybe even a thousandfold. At that scale, it would be an obsession that no human being could possibly manage, control or contain. If any of us remotely imagine that intensity, it would still give us just a glimpse of how much God longs for us to be close to Him, minus all the human weaknesses of panic, irrationality, and disorder.

This past Sunday, I was listening to our pastor’s sermon on the healing of the blind man in John 9, and though I have read the story many times, one particular verse jumped out at me with fresh meaning. The first part of verse 35 says, “Jesus heard that they had thrown him out, and went and found him.” Jesus went and found him. I just couldn’t stop thinking about the intentionality of Jesus’ actions. He had healed this man who had been born blind, but He was not content to leave it there.

The poor guy had been through the ringer since he had received his sight. Instead of celebrating with him, most of his family, friends, and community inundated him with accusatory questions. Verse 13 says, “They brought him” to the local synagogue for the religious leaders to inspect him and make sense of his story. That means that they forcibly dragged him there or tied him up for transport. I cannot even fathom the shock and betrayal he must’ve felt when he discovered that everyone he’d known since birth would rather him remain a blind, suffering beggar than to be given such an amazing gift. Verses 18-22 even tell us that his own parents refused to come to his defense because they were afraid of the power of the religious leaders. They gave up their son for the sake of their own comfort and community standing.

But Jesus wasn’t going to leave him there. He went and found him. With all the demands of His ministry and despite the massive throngs of people who were inundating Him, Jesus took a break and intentionally searched for one lonely outcast. This young man had been touched by the Almighty and there was no way Jesus was going to let the cruelty of others and the difficult circumstances swallow up the miracle. As I contemplated the difficult situation this young man faced, God planted three specific reasons in my mind as to why Jesus went looking for him.

First, God’s glory will never be hidden, and that’s exactly what the religious leaders were trying to do. By expelling the young man and casting seemingly authoritative doubt on the veracity of his claims, they were going to do everything they could to ruin his life, hide the evidence, strike fear in the hearts of the witnesses, and put an end to Jesus’ allure. When God does a miracle, the glory belongs to Him and Jesus wasn’t about to let the pious naysayers destroy the life of an innocent recipient and steal all the glory for themselves.

Second, I believe Jesus was going to complete the work He started. Yes, the man’s eyesight had been restored, but the more important healing was not complete. After spending most of his life in utter hardship and neglect, he needed emotional, mental and spiritual healing. And now that his family and neighbors had disowned him, he had no support network and no hope of creating a new life for himself. By seeking him out for a personal relationship, Jesus escorted him into a new community and a made him a new creation outfitted to thrive in a new calling. Once God’s light begins to shine in someone, Jesus always sees to it that the work is completed (Philippians 1:6).

Third, Jesus wanted to give him a new identity. Jesus went to invite the young man to complete the adoption process in becoming a child of God. When Jesus located him, He asked him if he believed in the Son of Man, which is what the Jews referred to as the Messiah. Although the previously blind man could now see, he had not recognized who Jesus was, up until this point. I can picture Jesus putting his hands on the guy’s shoulders, looking into his newly healthy eyes, and gently saying the words we find in scripture: “You have seen Him, and it is He who is speaking to you.” Probably falling to his knees in both gratitude and awe, his spiritual eyes were opened. We read in verse 38: “He said, ‘Lord, I believe,’ and he worshipped Him.”
All this week I have been struggling to put into words the renewed sense of awe I have for the fact that the King of the universe personally searches for the lowliest in His kingdom. That the One who is highest above all would come to get us in the deepest slimy pits. That our Heavenly Father pursues us to the ends of the earth to complete His work in us. It humbles me and reminds me that we shouldn’t spend so much time thinking about ourselves, because God thinks about us all the time. We were written on His heart since before we were born and will be on His mind forever into eternity.

In terms of Biblical real estate, stories of God’s pursuit of us takes up so many chapters. Of course, the entire book is His love story to draw us closer to Him. But just in case we could miss that fact, He calls out specific stories and makes huge promises to get our attention. As if John 9 wasn’t enough, we find another whole chapter — Luke 15 — which tells us in three different parables how passionate God is about pursuing us. We are like the one sheep that goes astray, and He will leave the others to bring us back. We are like the lost coin that a woman searches every nook and cranny to find. We are the prodigal son of a Father who continually searches the horizon for our return.

All other religions require that their followers search for divinity and earn their way to some kind of heaven, redemption, or nirvana. But our God comes for us every time. 2 Chronicles 16:9 says God looks throughout the earth to strengthen those who are committed to Him. Luke 19:10 says that the Son of Man came to seek and save the lost. There’s no doubt that Jesus was seeking the Samaritan woman at the well (another case of a social outcast considered undesirable by the religious leaders) in John 4. Jesus said to her, “But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him.” And that is exactly what He did when He sought out the healed blind man. When Jesus found him and gave him his spiritual sight, he immediately worshipped in spirit and truth. May that be our response as well.

Jesus always comes for His own.  Like the lost coin, a single precious soul might be forgotten by the world, hidden or lonely in the nooks and crannies of suffering and isolation, but the One who came to seek and to save will not rest until His child is found. 

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Last week’s blog post highlighted the ways God commonly communicates with us. To get the most out of this post, I would suggest reading part 1 first. 

​Have you ever misinterpreted an email from a friend or co-worker? It’s such a common issue, I bet every single person on earth who uses email has made inaccurate assumptions or has misinterpreted its contents. Then we all know what happens next. Either we sit and stew on it because we don’t want to call the sender to clarify the meaning, or we do the most dreaded thing we all know we shouldn’t do (but we do it anyway)… we hit the reply button and send back a completely inappropriate response based on what we assume we heard. The bottom line is that mistakes happen when we assume. (And, yes, I think the acronym for assume fits, but I won’t repeat it here. Ahem.)

This is kind of how listening to God can be. When He speaks to us, it’s not like receiving a phone call from your best friend, who you can often recognize just by the way she breathes or clears her throat. With the Almighty’s voice, there’s no audible tone or style to hear. No inflections to indicate humor or anger. In short, we have so little familiarity with what He’s saying — either because what He’s asking us to do is so surprising or because we’re simply new or out of practice with hearing His direction — that after He’s spoken, we may spend minutes or hours second guessing what we’ve heard. We can make some radically wrong assumptions. We can jump to conclusions. Sometimes we miss out on a blessing because we were too unsure to act when He spoke.

As you become more and more familiar with His unique voice in your life, which happens over a long period of time and with frequent practice, you will begin to clearly experience for yourself the signature characteristics, or hallmarks of His voice. These are in no way to replace the step of seeking wise counsel and Scripture for confirmation of what He’s saying (see last week’s post), but they are helpful in knowing what God’s voice sounds like and understanding His nature. While God is too big and simply unfathomable to pin down as a personality type (Romans 11:33, Isaiah 55:9), there are clear indicators of His voice that can be gleaned throughout Scripture.

When the many Biblical accounts of God speaking are viewed holistically together, certain patterns, tones and defining characteristics emerge. Just as important, the hallmarks of what is NOT His voice also materialize out of the preponderance of evidence in Scripture. Whether it’s your own voice or Satan’s sinister attempt to distract or misdirect you, knowing what is not God’s voice is equally important.

He pushes us out of our comfort zone, without imparting fear, a sense of foreboding, or worry. Only the wisdom of an omniscient (all-knowing) God who loves you beyond your wildest dreams and knows you better than you know yourself, could simultaneously ask you to step out of your comfort zone while giving you a shot of unexpected motivation and courage. When God asks you do something, most of the time it will be something that you would not naturally want to do or think to do. Whether it’s a simple command to talk to a stranger or sell something you value more than you should, when God speaks it goes right to the heart of the matter and the Holy Spirit gently but insistently pushes you to obey. And as you step out on faith, strength, courage and peace flow. Philippians 4:6-7 makes it clear that when we are communicating with God, He gives us peace, even when the task at hand is difficult. Jesus said His peace is to rest upon us always in John 14:27. He wasn’t ambiguous when He said that. If something is from the Holy Spirit, there will be a sense of peace.

He uses repetition to get His message through the noise of life and emphasize His point. When the Holy Spirit is trying to get your attention, He often sprinkles the message in front of you repeatedly in multiple channels. Two or three people mention the same Bible verse to you. You sense His leading  in prayer about something and then the sermon on Sunday contains almost the same message. When you start noticing something repetitive start paying very close attention. In the Bible, Jesus repeated things of great importance multiple times. I researched online how many times concepts are repeated in the Bible (because it is so, so many), but I couldn’t find a specific number. (Hmmm… that would be a fun project!) But I did find this post from Jon Bloom on the most repeated command in the Bible — God wants us to be happy. Not in the transitory earthly sense of happy, but as in fulfillment, delight and joy, overflowing with thanksgiving. Now that’s a repetitive statement I love hearing about!

His direction can always be confirmed, but not through circumstances alone. A message from God will always line up with Scripture. If it doesn’t fit with the Bible, then dismiss it immediately, no questions asked. Don’t even entertain the thought or search for a different verse or interpretation to justify what you think you’ve heard. Confirmation can also come through wise counsel (Proverbs 11:14 and 12:15), especially if it has to do with a decision that may not be a question of right or wrong, such as whether to accept a new job offer. The Word tells us to seek the counsel of mature, grounded believers to pray with us and ask for discernment. But I’ve learned the hard way, as have many others, to never rely on circumstances alone to confirm what you think God said. Evaluating the circumstances in your life and using your own assessment to make a decision based on that alone is no better than reading tea leaves or flipping a coin. In other words, no matter how tempting, don’t do it. Charting a course for your life based on what’s happening around you is one of Satan’s best deception tools for Christians because he can veil himself in light and never be noticed until it’s too late.

He usually delivers immediate instructions with authority, but not in a compulsive, frantic, random or bargaining manner. While God still chooses to anoint some with the gift of prophecy, most of His communication with us is about everyday dependence on Him. Usually He gives us just enough instruction for the next step ahead. He tells us what He wants for us to do right now. This is in line with the rest of the Bible. He gives us new mercies each morning, just for the day ahead. As we learn to listen for His voice throughout the day, what He asks us to do will become clearer over time. As we obey in the small things, He gradually gives us bigger things. On the other hand, Satan, or sometimes our own sinful desires, will throw random or frantic ideas at you that are compulsive or hyper-urgent. Satan loves to give you this intense feeling of pressure, like a used car salesman making you believe that if you don’t act now you’ll miss out on the best deal of your life. James 3:17 says, “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.” What an excellent verse for testing everything you hear!

He speaks to bring conviction and freedom, not guilt. Learning the difference between the  conviction of sin and guilt is crucial to distinguish God’s voice from the enemy’s. The Holy Spirit will search your heart, especially in prayer or in a moment immediately following a sinful act, and He will make you long for repentance. He will make you want to ask for forgiveness. Guilt is the feeling that you are condemned, a screw-up, worthless, ashamed, or unforgivable. Think of conviction as a revelation that you’ve done wrong with a clear desire to repent. Guilt is foreboding, heavy feeling not being able to be free to move on and forget about your sin. Guilt will chain you down spiritually and eat away at your joy. Guilt will literally rob you of being effective for Jesus. No matter what you’ve done wrong, there is forgiveness in Jesus. Believe it. Ask for it. Receive the gift and move on. Any voice that makes you want to stay in the pit of guilt is coercing you into rejecting God’s best for you. Romans 8:1 gives us this clear, matter of fact pronouncement: “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

His speaks to draw you closer to Him and to love others more than yourself. He will never give directions that promote human effort, glory, or favoritism. In Matthew 22:36-40, Jesus was asked about the greatest commandment. He replied with, “And he said to him, ‘you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” So, God is never going to tell you to do anything that would tear down others or elevate yourself above others. And I am finishing up our list with this one because it is the Scripture you should run through your head the most when you think you hear God ask you to do something in the moment, such as “help that elderly lady with her groceries.” According to Jesus’ words, you have all the confirmation you need to proceed. Other times, of course, you need to wait and seek more specific confirmation. But, again, remember that no message from God is too small to ignore. Even the smallest things could be the most significant in either someone else’s life, or even your own spiritual growth. You may think that He’s giving you “junior” level work to do, but He sees it as building blocks to a plan that He may take decades to unfold in your life. Trust Him. Listen to Him. Walk and learn with humility and a teachable spirit (Proverbs 15:31-33).

One of my favorite authors, John Piper, said God speaks to everyone — not just those who believe. This may surprise you, but here is what he said, “Oh, unbeliever, God is speaking to you in your pain to warn you, and God is speaking to you in your pleasure to woo you.” On the other hand, for believers, Piper says the sacrifice of Jesus changes everything. It turns our pain and suffering into instruments of sanctification, which simply means the process of become more holy… more like Jesus little by little. It turns our moments of pleasure into reminders to praise Him and faint glimmers of the eternal joy that awaits us one day. In either case — in suffering or happiness — the Holy Spirit enables us to live supernaturally by displaying characteristics that could only be from God: humility, joy, gratitude, contentment, and hope in all circumstances. Living in this manner is one of the greatest ways we can speak to others about God. When we become vessels, albeit imperfect ones, that show glimpses of Jesus in everything we do, God speaks through us to a world that so desperately needs to hear Him.

If you still want to go deeper about hearing and following God’s voice, I suggest Priscilla Shirer’s book, Discerning the Voice of God. There is also a Bible Study with companion videos.
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Mark Twain once said that there is no such thing as a new idea. “It is impossible. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope. We give them a turn and they make new and curious combinations.” Heroes versus villains, boy meets girl, good versus evil, the underdog making a comeback – these themes and outcomes are as familiar to each of us as the voice of a loved one. It doesn’t matter whether it’s an epic battle in space told in a 2018 movie theater or a child’s bedtime story told by a roaring hearth in the Middle Ages, humans are creatures of habit and a good story well told has been important to us since the dawn of time. 

In the same way, both amateur and professional storytellers are fond of incorporating magic into a tale to make it more alluring and exciting. Disney built an empire by weaving stories of magic. Seven of the top 10 best-selling novels of all time are from the Harry Potter series. Even CS Lewis, one of the most respected Christian writers of all time, used magic in his stories to explain the Gospel to children. He did such an amazing job, Disney turned it into a feature film franchise grossing over $1.5 billion worldwide. 

We are enticed by the thought that something magical could occur to rescue us, comfort us, and remind us that there’s more to life than meets the eye. That’s because we are created in the image of God, and deep within every human being is an innate sense that there must be something more. In their innocence and with trusting hearts, children find it easy to believe in the supernatural. Unlike adults, they don’t have anything to come between them and believing in the unseen or inexplicable. Their vision is not blinded by pride, skepticism, personal agenda, and arrogance. Children are like sponges, constantly exploring and stretching their minds. It’s almost as though everything they see has an element of magic to it. 

Unfortunately though, the definition of what’s magical changes as we grow up. As children, magic is as simple as following Kermit the Frog to the end of the rainbow. As adults, our fantasies become far less innocent and significantly more tainted. And the more we drown ourselves in them, the more extreme they seem to become. It’s one of the most ironic facts of this post-industrial age — the larger our appetites expand for consuming fantastical entertainment about supernatural things, the less we believe that anything supernatural can actually happen. Therefore, the very thing most people crave, is the thing that they will never experience in real life. Instead, many choose to gaze at shoddy counterfeits and lurid diversions until they feel numb and able to forget about their hard day at work, the fight with their spouse, or a looming financial problem. As Neil Postman prophetically said, Americans (and I’m sure the rest of the world) are "amusing ourselves to death". 

So as adults trying to survive in a hyper-stressed, seemingly crazy world, how do we not become jaded, hurt and bitter? How do we cultivate a childlike heart that’s trusting, open to the supernatural, and capable of believing what it can’t see? The answer is simple: humility. Easy to understand, but challenging to implement. Contrary to what many people think, being a savvy, brain-using adult doesn’t mean that we have to kick all notions of the supernatural to the curb. And being an ardent believer in the possibility of the miraculous doesn’t mean we are not called to think. God doesn’t want us to have an immature faith or to not use our intellect in the pursuit of Him. In fact, far from it, we are commanded to move on from milk to “solid food” in our spiritual growth. (Hebrews 5:14) And the Apostle Paul admonishes us to grow up in Christ in 1 Corinthians 13:11-12: "When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.” Yet then why does Jesus seem to emphasize the need to be like children over and over? Because pride grows in us as we grow up. We become too proud to admit there are things we cannot understand. Jesus knew pride was the motivation of the disciples when they asked about being the greatest in the kingdom in Matthew 18:1-4. So he put a child on his knee and said they needed to be humble like her. I love the way Luke 10:21 in The Message version puts it, "At that, Jesus rejoiced, exuberant in the Holy Spirit. 'I thank you, Father, Master of heaven and earth, that you hid these things from the know-it-alls and showed them to these innocent newcomers. Yes, Father, it pleased you to do it this way.'” Again, we see that the typical wisdom of the world can blind us to the real truth and prevent us from seeing the miraculous — whether it’s in the form of something truly spontaneous or something that is slowly transformed over time.  

John Piper says in his book Think, “There is no way to awaken faith or strengthen faith that evades thinking … the mind serves to know the truth that fuels the fires of the heart.” The entire book is a manifesto to truly using your mind as an integral part of your faith experience, and is based on Proverbs 2:3-5, "yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.” When we have a mind that is seeking the True Knowledge, the Holy Spirit opens our eyes to see God’s supernatural work going on everywhere. 

Since one of my greatest passions — perhaps even my calling — is to help people see glimpses of God in the routine happenings of everyday life, storytelling has become my lifeblood. It’s the reason I quit my job last year to make time to write a novel and blog about God’s relentless pursuit of us. And like CS Lewis, I think the careful, thoughtful incorporation of a kind of magic is critical to draw people in and encourage them to see more clearly the divinely-directed things that happen around us every day. When I write, I am driven to create wonderment for the reader of God’s glory, magnificence, power, and unending love for us. It’s a tall order in a distracted culture with a short attention span, but as Aslan the lion said in Lewis’ first novel, “there is a magic deeper still … before the dawn of time” and it will always triumph. Of course, Aslan represents the Lion of Judah, another name for Christ, who existed before the beginning, who reigns in heaven now, and who is to come back in glory. His light always burns, no matter how brightly other false lights try to outshine it. By following my calling to write, I am believing that God will do the miraculous, and somehow cause the messages He lays on my heart to find their way to the right people at the right time. 

We are all living stories, unfolding day by day. When we get out of bed each morning, the decision that awaits us is will we live out our story for ourselves or be willing to turn it over to God to write for us. Magic in a fairy tale is instantaneous, unpredictable and used as a means to an end. Miracles in our stories may be instantaneous like hearing God’s direction in your heart, or they may take many months or years to come to fruition, like the restoration of a relationship or the healing of a mental illness. Some miracles are as predictable as the sunrise if we have eyes to see them. “His mercies are new every morning…” Lamentations 3:22-23 Most importantly, God’s miracles are never just a means to an end. They are always part of His grand story. And the coolest part is that His believers know exactly how that story is going to end. 
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A friend of mine once told me that the mind is like a muscle. Let it wander however it wants and indulge in whatever it craves, and it will slowly atrophy. The most insidious aspect of this truth is that the decline happens so subtly and gradually over time, we can end up drowning in a pit of bad habits without even realizing how we got there. But stretching the mind, exercising it, and disciplining it will make it healthier, stronger and more agile. This is especially true for the more difficult disciplines, such as spiritual growth, creativity, innovation, or leadership advancement, which can be sabotaged by our minds as soon as our eyes open in the morning. My friend’s advice resonated with me so much, that whenever I get tired of pursuing a truly abundant life, I remind myself over and over that the muscle must be worked daily to stay healthy.
 
One of the most powerful “frenemies” (friend + enemy) of the mind is familiarity. On the plus side, familiarity gives us confidence in relationships and situations we’ve encountered before, boosts our efficiency and performance with routine tasks, minimizes distractions and annoyances, and generally makes us feel comfortable, more relaxed and secure. Thanks to biological familiarity, we eventually don’t notice a bad smell or an annoying noise if it’s consistently present for a long period of time. And thank goodness, we all get more comfortable with routine places, situations and relationships, so we don’t remain as nervous and inefficient at our jobs as we did on the first day of employment. As a vital coping mechanism, familiarity can lower our heart rates and stress levels. Certainly, there are some patterns and repetitions that are incredibly vital and helpful, such as the laws of the universe, rules of math, established traffic patterns and routine garbage pickup. Most importantly, we can rise each day counting on God’s consistent character and unchanging love for us.
 
But then, there’s the other side of familiarity – the archenemy to all the elusive things we chase after, like dreams, ambition, romance, achievement, creativity, innovation, and dynamic relationships. When familiarity runs amuck and crosses over from helpful into damaging, we end up experiencing boredom, complacency, laziness, depression, anxiety, hopelessness, contempt, and mental or emotional apathy. When familiarity takes over our hearts and minds, we can become blind to what’s right in front of us (hello? the glasses on your head or the “lost” keys on the counter) or numb to those who are supposed to mean the most to us, like our spouses, family or friends. There are times I get so bored with my routines that I don’t want to do them anymore, like brushing my teeth (don’t worry, I still do), and the same effect happens with people or situations we encounter on a frequent basis. In conversations, we start filling in the blanks in our minds when a familiar person talks, assuming that we know what he is going to say. With material possessions, we begin to devalue them as they become more familiar. A new piece of technology that you couldn’t put down last month, may not even be in your hands this month. And worst of all, familiarity can lull us into such a comfortable state that we run back to unhealthy situations over and over.
 
As I pondered how familiarity has overrun a few important things in my life, I realized that the following five “A’s” have been critical in helping me continue to chase my dreams, keep my relationships thriving, and not get stagnant in my pursuit of God. Oswald Chambers, the great turn-of-the-century theologian, once said, "Human nature, if healthy, demands excitement; and if it does not obtain its thrilling excitement in the right way, it will seek it in the wrong. God never makes bloodless stoics; He makes no passionless saints.” And that’s the essence of our battle with familiarity. As humans we can’t help but experience familiarity, but we also detest being bored and stagnant. So often, the biggest mistake we make in life is allowing the allure of familiarity’s comforts and false security, to keep us from the very adventure God has called us to take, and instead we fill our natural longings for excitement with counterfeit dreams or fleeting thrills requiring less personal sacrifice, character refinement, time, or discipline. So here are some safeguards to help us prevent familiarity from leading us to make one bad decision after another.

The Five A's to Master Familiarity Before It Masters You
 
Awareness – When we exercise our minds daily to cultivate a fresh experience and perspective regarding the most important people and frequent situations in our lives, we train ourselves to ask more questions, listen more carefully, operate less on previous assumptions, and perhaps most profoundly – to simply become more observant of the little things. One of the biggest dangers in relationships is thinking that you know how someone will behave or what they will say based on your experience with them. Challenge yourself to truly listen to them like you would a new acquaintance. Look at the world around you on your way to work and push yourself to see “stories” in everything. If you woke up having a story to tell (about that dream you had last night, or why you’re not feeling well, or that idea that won’t leave your mind), then remember that everyone else you encounter has one as well. Make it a goal every day to get people to tell you their stories. Watch the rain fall or the clouds move across the sky just to hear God tell you His story through creation. He’s talking if you’re listening. "Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.” Jeremiah 33:3
 
Appreciation – When we have a posture of being thankful for every situation and person – after all, even the challenging ones give us an opportunity to grow – our perspective radically shifts from being complacent (the evil twin of familiarity) to being open and receptive. When we are hopeful, science proves that we are more likely to be creative, innovative, and adventurous. If you want to take on the world, you have to appreciate it, warts and all. “Give thanks in all circumstances…” 1 Thessalonians 5:18
 
Acclimation – I was reading a blog about marriage recently and the author, who is a psychologist, said that familiarity doesn’t breed contempt, but poor acclimation does. In other words, getting more familiar with your spouse (or any other relationships) is a good thing because you’re more likely to be yourself. But as you become more familiar with him or her, you can choose to acclimate in ways that are honorable or dishonorable. Habitual responses to things we don’t necessarily like don’t have to be unhealthy, but it does take work — one decision at a time – to build the right pattern of responses and behaviors. This is how we acclimate well. Familiarity that increases alongside the hard work of love, respect, openness, communication, prayer, and appreciation, prepares us for rewarding adventures with the people we love. "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32
 
Authenticity – Familiarity can often lure us into doing something over and over out of habit, not because we actually want to do it. Checking in with yourself about repeated behaviors and routines to see if you authentically want to do them is crucial. Are you being authentic with others, or are you just going through the motions? Familiarity can also cause us to transfer our own perceptions, status, abilities, and beliefs onto someone else we’re close to, making us utterly blind to who they really are. Such was the case with Jesus in his hometown of Nazareth. At the beginning of his ministry, they received him warmly. Who wouldn’t like a hometown hero who turns water into wine? But when he proclaimed Himself to be God and that He was the fulfillment of the Scriptures, they were incensed and threw him out of town. Why? Because they transferred their own life situation onto His. He had been one of their own – like them in so many ways. They were so familiar with his parents, his upbringing, and his socioeconomic status that they assumed he was just like them. So they wholeheartedly and instantly rejected the idea that one of their own could be the long-awaited Messiah. They did not even give Jesus a chance to be His authentic self. When you practice authenticity and not conformity, you are less likely to project yourself on others. 1 Chronicles 29:17 says that God searches and tests hearts for integrity. The Message version puts it this way: "I know, dear God, that you care nothing for the surface—you want us, our true selves—and so I have given from the heart, honestly and happily."
 
Activity – Sometimes we can spend so much time talking about our lives, that we don’t end up doing anything to move them forward or change things we don’t like. Just the habit of talking without action can become overly familiar. Building in a pattern of activity – even if you implement only small steps – to pursue life improvements and spiritual growth, helps prevent you from becoming stagnant or drawn into negative self-talk and gossip. The Bible clearly indicates that a lack of activity and fruitfulness in our lives can lead to gossip and wasting time. "Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not.” 1 Timothy 5:13 Plus, if you don’t actually practice doing anything, then you certainly won’t get anywhere.
 
Most of us wake up every day hoping that something will pleasantly surprise us. But many of us miss those surprises because our eyes are fogged in with familiarity. Inspiration doesn’t just appear on the mountaintops of life, it more commonly dwells in the ordinary valleys and typical conversations we encounter on a daily basis. We only need to train our eyes to see it.
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Last night I had one of the best surprises at a business meeting – there were two very happy, very slobbery, very furry attendees. Granted, they didn’t have much valuable input as the work group discussed the strategic planning process, but Lola, the Golden Retriever, was young and funny, and Sophia, the elderly Black Lab, was cuddly and attentive. Not only did the meeting go extremely well, but I also left with a warm heart and lots of dog kisses. What more could I possibly want from a two-hour meeting?
 
So right about now, I bet there’s someone out there reading this who would’ve hated my meeting. I once had a boss who despised dogs of any kind. Sad, but true. And I am sure some people would’ve preferred two cats at the meeting instead. But regardless of your animal preferences (or none at all!), there are some amazing lessons our pets can teach us. As I drove home last night to my empty house, I started thinking about our dog and how much I learned during her life.
 
About 18 months ago, we had to say goodbye to our beloved Pug, Livy. In the five days following her departure from our lives, I wrote a short letter to God each day as a way of processing my grief. Last night as I was thinking of Livy, I found the letters tucked away under a book on my nightstand. I had read somewhere that if I focused on being thankful to God for the blessing of having such a treasured furry friend, it would lessen my guilt and help me to move on more easily. I think it did. While I’ve missed Livy’s companionship, I certainly haven’t missed her mounds of hair all over my floor, furniture and clothes. But last night, filled up with all that borrowed puppy love from Lola and Sophia, I couldn’t help but ponder all the spiritual lessons that God taught me through being a dog owner.
 
Letter #1 – Trust in Your Provider
My Heavenly, Generous Father,
Thank you for the life of my sweet dog, Livy. She was such a joy… and a big sacrifice for us, teaching us patience and unconditional love. It’s so humbling to look into the eyes of a creature that looks back at you with 100% trust and dependence. She relied on us for her very existence, yet she never had a single moment of doubt about our dependability for her food, her water, and of course, her toys. There was a warm pillow in the front of the fire in the winter, and a cool bowl of water by the lake in the summer. Just like you do for us, God, we met her every need. There were things she wanted we would never give her – like a second helping of kibble. But, Father, isn’t that how you are with us? Sometimes we question why you don’t give us everything we want, not realizing that there are things too big, too complex or too heavy for us to know or handle. Lord, I am reminded of how my life is in your hands. In my limited human nature, if I am capable of loving my dog this much, how on earth then could I ever doubt how much you love and care for me as your creation… your child? You are all I need, God. Thank you for giving us 11 years with that hairy, lovable, funny mess. We loved her. But as my Provider, I love you more, Jehovah-Jireh. “And my God will supply every need of yours…” Philippians 4:19
 
Letter #2 – Give Endless Grace and Patient Friendship
Dear God,
Thank you for your presence today and the amazing amount of strength you gave me as I came home to an empty house after work. Thinking back on all the years of being a dog owner, I would have spent oodles of time when I got home today taking her for a walk, feeding her, and cleaning up all that hair. Despite all the work that she was, especially in the last couple of years, you gave us lots of grace to keep loving her even though her care took up way more time than we wanted it to. Livy extended us a lot of grace, come to think of it. We stuffed her in that little airplane travel box every Christmas to fly west, and she never complained. We had late day meetings. Date nights. So many times she waited in a kennel and then she would bounce with overflowing happiness when we walked through the door. And now, the grace of our friends and family blows my mind. No one can love your pet the way you do. I can’t even believe how silly we were with finding the perfect toy or playing her favorite song just to watch her dance. So our friends – who must be weary with all our stories and tears – are showering grace upon us over and over, as we talk about our dog incessantly and how special she was. They wait patiently while we chatter on. They even pray for us. God, you are so good for loving us through our friends. And the grace you extend us, God, is unfathomable. It exceeds more than I can comprehend offering someone else. “Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another…” Colossians 3:12-13
 
Letter #3 – See the Wonder Around You
Dear Amazing Creator,
Thank you for the wonder of your creation around me. As I took the road trip today for work, I was reminded of how much you speak in nature, reminding us of how magnificently and intricately you made everything around us. As I think about my dog again, it really is surprising how smart she was and how she learned my habits so well that she seemed to know what I would do next before I even knew. Father, you know me better than I know myself. You knew that I needed to see the splendor of Acadia National Park this week. I whined and complained about having to go on a business trip during a period of loss, but you knew that was exactly what I needed. From the big moose I saw lazily grazing along the highway to the stars over the water by the hotel, your creation wrapped around my heart like a warm blanket, whispering to me of the constancy of your presence in the steady rhythms of nature. My heart is filled with gratitude, God. “But ask the animals what they think – let them teach you… Isn’t it clear that they all know and agree that God is sovereign, that he holds all things in his hand?” Job 12:7-10
 
Letter #4 – Work Hard, Play Hard
Dear King of My Heart,
Thank you for the intensity of creative work and how miraculous it is to be transported to a healthier state by mind-intensive tasks. Everything today required me to be fully present and not spend a second dwelling on any negative thoughts. Thank you for my talents and skills. Help me to always use them with humility and without stingy reservation. It’s funny how dogs don’t hold anything back and always fully focus on whatever they’re doing. When they play, they’re all about having fun. Then when they’re tired, they rest fully and peacefully. Whatever it is, they give 100% and don’t know how to give anything less. One of the funniest things Livy did was chewing her bone. For such a tiny dog, she attacked that thing with the ferocity and enthusiasm of a pit bull. Nothing could distract her until she felt like the job was done. Father, help me to give 100% to the work you set before me. You are glorified when I work as though I am working for you… fully present and completely committed. “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10
 
Letter # 5 – Take a Breather and Let it Go
Dear Loving Father,
Thank you for a time to rest. To just be. I always used to love watching Livy sleep on her pillow, especially in the winter time in front of a hot wood stove. After breakfast, she’d spend about five minutes making the perfect spot on her bed (I never could figure that process out!) and then curl up into a little tight ball to sleep. About an hour later, she’d stretch and reposition into a looser ball. Finally, somewhere around mid-morning, I’d walk by to find her completely sprawled out, belly up, with her fur warm enough to melt butter on contact. She knew when to rest, but God, sometimes I don’t. Ok, most times I don’t. Working hard is healthy and good, but sometimes I just keep going way beyond necessary. Father, please help me understand the meaning of margin… of breathing room… in my schedule, in my habits, and in my mind. Sometimes I’m amazed that the very task which is supposed to use the least amount of my brain power seems to take the most – trying to go to sleep. Thank you, God, for rest and help me to accept your gift to sleep peacefully without worry or stress. “I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone O Lord, make me dwell in safety.” Psalm 4:8

This was the view out my window this morning. Turbulent seas as far as the eye can see with 20 foot swells, 60 mph winds and dreary skies. Not exactly the kind of day (or night!) my husband and I hoped for on our first morning of a long-awaited tropical vacation. Fortunately we’re the type of people who don’t mind being rocked to sleep by a rolling ocean. But with sky-high swells and roaring winds, our stateroom felt more like a seat on rickety roller coaster than a gently swaying cradle.

During one of the many times I was awake during the night, a favorite childhood Bible story came to mind. And somewhere between sleep and awake, I started seeing Matthew 8:23-27 play out like a movie in the rocking darkness. There was Jesus fast asleep on a tiny wooden fishing boat — a mere 26.5 feet long compared to our 965-foot cruise ship — being tossed about on the Sea of Galilee. As the vision played out, suddenly I understood the magnitude of Him being able to sleep through the storm. Here I was tossing and turning in a soft, warm bed shielded from the wind and rain, and there He was sleeping soundly while 12 other men panicked around Him as water crested the bow and coursed into the boat over and over.

Ok, so yes, we are talking about God incarnate being able to sleep versus a sound-sensitive human like me. But isn’t the question here, why he chose to sleep in the first place and not how? The surface answer is that he chose to sleep to demonstrate to the disciples that in Him  there is 100% peace and rest in any storm — no matter how wet, cold and noisy it is. But as I laid there imagining Peter rushing to wake up a sleeping Jesus, an unusual thought came to my mind — Jesus smiling with his eyes still closed. Here are two men in completely opposite states of mind in the exact same situation. One is in utter panic, fearing for his life and incapable of making sound decisions. And the other is at total peace. So much at peace that He continues to lay there for a minute with a simple, knowing smile on his face as Peter shakes Him forcefully. He knows something Peter doesn’t... yet. He knows that sometimes it is better to ride the waves than fight the current. This is the deeper question Jesus answers for us — when do you rise up and fight the storms of life and when do you simply yield and ride it out?

Oswald Chambers, the great theologian, wrote about this very topic more than a hundred years ago. And God graciously brought it to my attention as this morning's devotional in Oswald’s book My Utmost for His Highest. “The surf that distresses the ordinary swimmer, produces in the surf rider the super joy of going clean through it.” Isn’t it so amazing how God always speaks truth into our lives exactly when we need to hear it?

Oswald’s verse for today is Romans 8:37, which says that we are more than conquerors in Him who loved us. And the other one that came to my mind is Exodus 14:14 where God tells Joshua that he will fight for him. All he needs to do is be still. There are times in all our lives when we have to go through a storm. Sometimes God leads us to fight valiantly for Him as he enables our cause, but other times He wants us to simply be still and let the current have its way with us. In these times His Spirit whispers to us, “to rest... to let go... and just let the waves rock you.” He gently encourages us, “They won’t hurt you if you stop fighting them and instead learn to ride upon them, harnessing their energy and letting them take you to where I want you to go. To learn what I want to teach you. Stop trying to control the storm. You can’t do it anyway. Rather, I want you to lay in the boat and ride it out with me. Marvel at the storm’s ferocity. Get caught up in the wonder of its power and timing. All because you know I control it all. Through me, you can experience peace and even joy in the tribulation because you can rest assured that I will receive all the glory for sustaining you in the turmoil.”

In Matthew 11:28-30 in The Message version, Jesus says, “Walk with me and experience the unforced rhythms of grace.” Isn’t that what the storms of life are really for? They aren’t for us to panic over. They aren’t even for us to earn accolades by weathering them well. They are for us to journey to a deeper level than we could’ve ever imagined — to learn something new about Jesus and how much He loves us. He wants you right next to Him — as close to Him as you can get — in the boat of life. And sometimes that means He has to rock it a bit to get you to fall back next to Him, right where you belong.

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Every now and then I come across an author who is so quotable I end up highlighting the entire book. Whether it's because the topic is feeding a soul-deep hunger I didn't know I had or the author is simply talented, books like these become my own personal tools helping me improve my life over and over.
 
One such book I only recently discovered – The Art of Divine Contentment by Thomas Watson – has been around for almost four centuries, but its rules for learning how to find contentment in life are just as relevant today as they were in 1653. I guess it doesn't matter whether you are grumbling because you can't afford the newest iPhone or your team of oxen won't plow your field fast enough, learning to be content with what we have and what life brings us is an age-old problem for any generation. Rather than writing about all the reasons why you should desire contentment in both good times and bad, I'm assuming that almost anyone would want to experience daily joy and peace versus a life brimming over with dissatisfaction, complaining, and persistent unfulfilled longings.
 
For a self-confessed word nerd like me, the ornate language in Mr. Watson's book makes his quotes all the more intriguing and beautiful. However, I don't want 400 years of change in the English language to get in the way of wisdom, so I've taken the liberty of paraphrasing his rules here. By the way, in case you want to read the book, he actually published 18 rules, but I didn't think anyone would read a blog post that long, so I consolidated them into 10. And if your mind starts filling with objections as to why you can't feel contentment right now, he even has a chapter on objections and how to overcome them. Don't worry, he doesn't include ancient agrarian frustrations like misbehaving oxen, but rather serious impediments we can still relate to like a financial loss, death of a loved one, and betrayal by a friend. Life has changed dramatically in the last four centuries, but when it comes to matters of the heart, most everything is the same. So without further ado, here are the 10 rules.
 
Rule #1: Put your faith in action
All discontentment is rooted in unbelief. Having faith that God is trustworthy, that He is aware of your situation, and desires to help you through whatever life brings you, is the antidote to unfulfilled cravings and feelings of entitlement. When we determine in our hearts to trust that God knows what He is doing better than us, we put our faith in action. Psalm 84:11 says "The Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly." The problem is that we think we know what is more good for us than God does. And here comes one of my favorite Watson quote: "We imagine a certain condition of life as good for us, but if we were our own carvers, we should often cut the worst piece. We often see things in our own light, but if we could sort out and portion out our own comforts, we would get it wrong." When we choose belief, we'll be able to receive the best portion.
 
Rule #2: Work for God, not for money or your boss
When we focus on serving God in every little thing we do, and we labor so that He will be glorified in our lives, versus money, achievement or accolades, and then everything else falls into place. As Steven Curtis Chapman sings, "whether you're flipping burgers or cooking up mergers, do it all for Him," and discover contentment in the fruits of your labors, no matter how meager or huge they may be.
 
Rule #3: Strive for humility
If unbelief is the root of discontentment then pride is its food and water. Pride can make a fledgling unbelief blossom into a full grown thorn bush of discontentment, grumbling, and pessimism. "When you lay humility for your foundation, contentment will be the superstructure," according to Watson.
 
Rule #4 Delight in the right things
When we ask God to replace the desires of our hearts with His, we will be gradually transformed into vessels of joy and generosity, overflowing with satisfaction in our work, our relationships, and our financial situation. Meditate on Psalm 37:4 and discover real delight.
 
Rule #5 Stay positive
At first blush, this sounds like a cop-out rule, right? But Watson asks, "who looks at the backside of a painting?" Instead, he admonishes us to focus on what's beautiful, lovely, true, excellent, and praiseworthy. When we discipline our thought life according to Philippians 4:8, the Biblical promise of transformation can occur.
 
Rule #6 Don't place your hope in people or things
Everything in our culture today revolves around the idea of doing whatever it takes to make yourself happy. But happiness is a feeling and contentment is a virtue. Happiness is temporary and contentment is a state of being that breeds peace and trust. When we look to people, things, jobs, circumstances or money to make us happy, we will eventually be disappointed and even emptier than before. "The foundation of contentment must be within yourself. The word for contentment in scripture signifies self-sufficiency," Watson says. When you place your hope in God's promises and direction, you will have strength and endurance from within.
 
Rule #7 Compare yourself to others the right way
Comparing yourself to others is like walking on thin ice, you might fall through into a well of envy and end up drowning in discontentment. However, Watson encourages us to compare ourselves to others in light of Christ's sacrifice and how He's called us to honor and serve them as He would have. Jesus washed the disciple's feet, which was considered the lowliest act for the lowliest servant of the household. (This Rule is actually #10 in Watson's book, and it has five eye-opening components. A blog post for another week, perhaps.)
 
Rule #8 Adjust your perception
In the field of public relations, there's a common saying that perception is reality. That's because we often believe what we think we see, and we see what we want to see. But within each of us there is an ability to change our perceptions, and with the power of the Holy Spirit, our vision can vastly improve over time. We can choose to see what we have versus what we don't. We can choose to place a high value on spending time with friends versus spending money on the latest outfit. We can focus on things that bring glory to God, versus glory to ourselves. Watson says if we could cure our distorted, sin-trained perceptions, we would find the secret to conquering a discontented heart.
 
Rule #9 Meditate on the promise of heaven
We are most tempted to be discontent at our extremes - when we are the happiest and when we are in the greatest discomfort. When everything is going well, we can be lulled into a false sense of security, and then entitlement, and eventually complete self-reliance. We don't see our need for God because it is covered by all of our creature comforts. On the other hand, when nothing is going right, we can become despondent and fixated on everything we lack. And most of life is spent going between the two extremes. But when we place our "treasure in heaven," as Matthew 6:19 says, our satisfaction comes from glorifying God in any circumstance. Paul said it best in Philippians 4:11-13, "…in any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance, and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."
 
Rule #10 Pray… A LOT!
Back in the 1600s physicians used a horrible medical treatment that makes me cringe. They used to intentionally bleed patients thinking that the letting of blood would take the toxins with it. Although the practice is grim, I mention it to provide context for Watson's statement that, "When the heart is filled with sorrow and disquiet, prayer lets out the bad blood. The key of a prayer oiled with tears unlocks the heart of all its discontents. It is the unburdening of the soul…" As we endeavor to find contentment deep in our hearts, prayer is the best medicine for a lifetime of soul satisfaction. When you spend a lot of time living in the King's throne room, your desire to wander the streets looking for trinkets vastly diminishes.
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